From House to Home
Chapter 07: Halo
AU. Logan Mitchell is a medical student who works as a radio-jockey to make money. Kendall Knight is a cashier who aspires to be a hockey player. When Kendall gives Logan an offer he can't refuse, they discover how far true love can be tested. KOGAN. This story is dedicated to one of the nicest and sweetest writers on this site, Lovin' Big Time Rush! Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to delay. There has been almost non-stop storms here, and I've been busy adjusting to classes and stuff like that. But thanks for all the messages you guys sent—you all ROCK. I would love to thank OptimisticallyHeartbroken, Kirkysaurus, IceRush, Lovin' Big Time Rush, MrsScarlettPena, WonderlandGirl457, child who is cool, TheClaire24, ishop67, and Love and Peace Forever! This was written in September 2011
The moment before the two entered the door seemed to be the slowest moment in Logan's life. He wanted the formal meeting to start, but he wanted it to end. He wanted it to be long, but he wanted it to be short. He wanted to go home and watch a movie, but he wanted to be here. He felt like going crazy next to Kendall, who remained perfectly aplomb and laid back.
Logan could already feel that it would be an evening he would want to forget, while simultaneously desiring to etch it forever in his mind.
"So you like pizza?" Kendall asked, his voice distant. His mind was plagued with a foreign sense of insecurity: it was an emotion Kendall Knight had never felt before on any date. His green eyes peered at Logan for a second, until Logan's chocolate brown eyes peered back, prompting both men to turn away and find another object to awkwardly glance at, while maintaining a serene conversation. There was a sweet tension in the air, filling Kendall's nostrils as did the herbs from the kitchen. Kendall was fortunate for the noises elsewhere in the room, providing him a convenient excuse for getting distracted.
However, the truth of his distraction was lying in front of him. A certain Logan Mitchell: a cranky, grumpy radio-host, with the naivety and innocence of a cherub. Yet, it was not this striking paradox that enthralled Kendall. Instead, it was the way Logan could be so polite, and still retain a fierce independence. It was the way that Logan could peer at Kendall, and reduce him from the strong, aspiring hockey-player, to a smitten cashier. It almost scared Kendall that Logan could do this; that he could wield such power, but Kendall inwardly enjoyed it.
"I love pizza," Logan emphasized the word love, which prompted Kendall to smile again, making another brief session of eye contact with Logan. The two continued their continuous cycle of glancing: they would look away for a moment, Kendall would slowly gaze at Logan, Logan would slowly turn to face Kendall, the two would look away, and then the cycle would repeat.
"I do too." Kendall gave a sheepish grin, as Logan smiled as well, although he did not add anymore wood to the sparking conversation. There was another moment of silence, before Logan took the reins of the conversation.
"So why are you a cashier?" Logan pursed his lips slightly, as if afraid to ask the question. Kendall chuckled, and took a deep breath. He blinked several times, as he visually relived his entire career in California.
"I was actually a part of House of Rocque Roast—" Kendall began, although he was instantly cut off by Logan, who chuckled.
"Was that the restaurant with the horrendous Gustavo Gumbo?" Logan placed his head gently on his stretched hands, while sitting straight and erect. Kendall chuckled again, and nodded his head.
"Yeah, it was. It was honestly a terrible endeavor, but Gustavo was rich, and he didn't care. Nonetheless, when he failed at that enterprise, he had an empty building, and thus he decided to open the infamous Rocque Supermarket, known for their overpriced milk." Kendall teased, figuratively nudging Logan who took the turn to chuckle. Kendall felt slightly impressed with himself, however, as he had attempted to use eloquent vocabulary. There was another moment of silence, before Logan continued.
"But why were you working with Gustavo?" Logan asked, enunciating Gustavo's name as if it was sour against his tongue. Kendall laughed under his breath at Logan's action, but took a moment to think.
"I wanted to play for the Minnesota Wilds," Kendall's eyes glazed for a moment, as the fateful night of his parents crushing his dream came to mind, "But I figured that the Los Angeles Kings were better for me." Kendall grinned, stretching back slightly as he flexed his body. He usually flexed his body unintentionally whenever he stretched, but this time, he felt as if he wanted to flex it in order to impress Logan.
"Forgive me for my lack of knowledge with hockey, but how does being a cashier correlate with playing for the Los Angeles Kings?" Logan pondered aloud, inclining his head slightly. Kendall brightened at Logan's curiosity, and cleared his throat.
"I needed money to get proper equipment, and to make sure I could play for some club teams so they would notice me. Moreover, I would need to pay for stuff on the team too..." Kendall trailed off, preferring to keep it vague. He did not want to give Logan light on the horrible financial situations Kendall had faced during the past.
"I see." Logan nodded, as the two shared another silent moment. Then, Kendall took the majestic horse of the conversation and decided to lead it.
"What about you? What made you want to become a radio celebrity?" Kendall smiled, pushing back his hair slightly. Logan cleared his throat, and sat forward slightly, jutting his face.
"I," Logan took a deep pause, as the past flickered across his face. For a moment, Kendall felt as if Logan was oddly similar to him in that he faced oppression instead of encouragement for his dreams. "I want to be a doctor, and I needed a job when I moved to California, and this was open." Logan shrugged, as a waitress gave two glasses of Coke to the table. Each man took their drink and began to sip on the straw eagerly.
"So do you go to school still?" Kendall asked, after he had taken a lengthy sip from his glass of cola. Logan, who was still sipping, nodded. He then released his lips from the straw, and licked his lips. Suddenly, Kendall felt slightly stifling, but continued to keep his aplomb.
"Yes, I still go to school." Logan answered, looking down again. Kendall nodded, as he tried to search for another piece of information to ask. He could have asked more about Logan's school, but he figured that it would not be interesting. Then, Kendall remembered something.
"Where did you move from?" Kendall blurted, wiping his hands on his pants. Logan's eyes widened, but Logan smiled.
"I'm surprised you haven't realized it—I was a hunter." Logan winked, as Kendall sat, perplexed for a moment. Then, realization hit him.
"You're from Duluth?" Kendall exclaimed, nearly knocking his glass of Coke over the table. Logan grinned, as Kendall straightened himself.
"I was a Trojan!" Kendall exclaimed again, although he realized the subtle context of his claim. Nonetheless, Kendall grinned.
"So you went to Central High School? I went to Denfield." Logan smiled, as Kendall continued to smile happily. He was elated to know that someone else from St. Louis County in Duluth, Minnesota, was in California. It was so amazing how fate had pushed Logan and Kendall together in this situation.
Before they knew it, a large and delicious cheese pizza had placed itself on the table, and had been devoured by Logan and Kendall who continued to bask in fond memories of Duluth. The atmosphere was lively, bright, and flavorful. Kendall smiled inwardly, as he realized how perfect the night had been going. The two were becoming fast friends, and Kendall knew he was falling too deep for Logan.
Finally, the waitress arrived, with a bill. She dropped it gently on the table, before walking away. Kendall noticed her swaying of her hips, but laughed it off. Obviously, the two men were interested in each other, or at least Kendall was interested in Logan. It inwardly made him curious as to how Logan felt about him.
Logan immediately pulled out his wallet, and and began to pull out his dollar bills. Kendall grinned, and shook his head
"It's okay Logan, I can pay." Kendall smiled, as he reached into his front pocket. Surprisingly, his wallet wasn't there. However, Logan then responded.
"No, it's okay. I can pay. It's not like I can't pay." Logan playfully bantered, as Kendall chuckled as well.
"Well, with these house prices, I'm surprised. But no, it's all good, I can pay." Kendall commented, as he reached into his left pocket, and was astonished to find nothing. He usually kept his wallet in his front pockets. Logan chuckled, albeit weakly, and peered at Kendall.
"Is that supposed to mean something?" Logan asked, his smile hiding the confusion in his voice. Kendall shook his head immediately, and widened his eyes.
"N-No! I mean, I just think I should pay because I asked you—" Kendall tried to reason, but Logan's face scrunched up in distaste.
"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I need to be treated like some girl who can't pay." Logan countered, his voice rising slightly. Kendall felt totally confused; why was Logan suddenly getting so defensive? It was the matter of a bill.
However, Logan took a deep breath, and shook his head.
"I'm sorry, I...I'm very independent." Logan commented, as Kendall took a small inhale, and nodded his head sullenly. "You can pay, if you want." Logan offered.
Kendall smiled sweetly, as he budged his hands to his back pockets, but to his horror, he could not feel the familiar bulge of his wallet. Kendall immediately got up, and began to feel his pants, wondering where his wallet could have fallen. He knew he had it, because he had placed it in the car—
The car!
"I think I forgot my wallet...um, could you pay?" Kendall asked weakly, as Logan's eyes squinted slightly. Suddenly, Kendall felt stupid. He was careless that he forgot his wallet in the car, and he was now asking someone he almost had an argument with to pay, despite almost forcing Logan not to pay. For once, Kendall wished the Earth would just devour him alive.
Logan dished out several dollars gingerly, and got up from the table in a terse silence. Kendall followed, pushing in his chair, and met Logan outside the restaurant.
"I think I can walk home." Logan said, not meeting Kendall's gaze. Kendall raised an eyebrow, curious as to what had brought upon this change in Logan's demeanor.
"I can pay you back Logan—I'm sorry I forgot my wallet in the car." Kendall offered, rubbing the back of his head shyly. Logan sighed, and rubbed his temples.
"Kendall, it's not about the money—" Logan tried to say, as Kendall immediately furrowed his brow in frustration.
"Then why are you suddenly mad at me? We were having such a great time on our date!" Kendall practically bellowed, as Logan's face turned a beet red hue.
"A date? This was a date?" Logan spat, his eyes holding an unknown emotion and striking emotional intensity. Kendall scrunched his face, in confusion. However, before he could respond, Logan immediately verbally lunged at Kendall.
"This was supposed to be for us to figure things out! Not an excuse for you to frisk me again!" Logan yelled, as he stormed past Kendall. Kendall could detect frustrations within Logan, and was confused as to why Logan was suddenly acting like a date would have been bad.
"L-Logan!" Kendall cried out, taking one frustrated glance at his car, before running to catch up with Logan.
Logan stormed past Kendall, holding a frustrated and conflicting feeling. He did not have a reasonable explanation for his feelings, but he could easily decipher it. He wanted to be on a date with the amazing Kendall Knight he had just met. He was wary about love at first sight, and he was not sure he was in love, but Logan was definitely attracted to Kendall. Yet something was preventing Logan from reaching peace within himself. And Logan knew what that something was.
Him.
Logan could not swallow the fact that someone would touch his tainted body. Logan still felt horrified to remember the seemingly passionate acts of romance the two enacted upon each other, only for Logan to realize it was not real; only for Logan to understand that lust truly pervaded love. Logan had a mental blockade within his mind that could not allow him to get close to someone.
Logan truly did love that Kendall wanted to pay. He would have normally found it endearing that Kendall forgot his wallet in the car. Yet, something about the situation reminded Logan of him. Perhaps, it was because he had taken Logan to a restaurant, and had made Logan feel as special as Kendall had made him feel. Perhaps, it was because he had forgotten his wallet too. Perhaps, it was because of everything he did. Logan could never forget him. It was a horrible scar that would never leave.
When he heard footsteps approaching, Logan immediately tensed up. Although he rationally knew it must have been Kendall approaching, he still felt as if a looming presence was out to get him, and drag him to the depths of the underworld of pain.
"What do you want?" Logan hissed, suddenly standing still and clenching his fists. He could tell from the delay in reaction that he had surprised Kendall.
"What is wrong Logan? I thought everything was going well!" Kendall tried to reason, but Logan turned around and cut him off.
"Yeah, they go well now, and then what Kendall?" Logan yelled, although he inwardly knew he was making little to no sense. But it was all because of him.
"What do you mean? I don't understand..." Kendall spoke sullenly. Part of Logan believed Kendall and wanted to embrace him and apologize. But because of him, Logan could not trust Kendall. He just couldn't. Kendall was perfect, and Logan knew that perfection only belonged to his work. But even with his academic perfection, Logan knew perfection was always too good to be true. He could not handle even comparing Kendall to him, but at the same time, his inner demons were prompting him to do so.
"Whatever, just leave me alone Kendall." Logan pushed Kendall away, walking toward his apartment complex. He could still hear Kendall's footsteps scraping the cemented sidewalk.
"I'm going to walk you home, whether you like it or not," Kendall replied loyally, "I don't know why you're acting like this, but I would never let someone I care about walk home alone in Los Angeles." Logan paused again, tears threatening to come out of his eyes. He found it perfectly romantic as to what Kendall was doing, but Logan could not give himself away so easily. Heck, he could not give himself away at all. He felt as if Kendall was only upholding a farce.
"Do whatever you want." Logan spoke coldly, harsher than he intended to come across to Kendall. He continued to walk home, and Kendall seemed to continue to follow him.
When Logan neared his complex, he was surprised to see Carlos sitting on the steps, listening to his music player. When he saw Logan, Carlos immediately jumped up and smiled, throwing off his headphones to grin. His grin became wider when he saw Kendall, and Logan almost felt terrible for having to break to Carlos that he and Kendall could not be for Logan's own stupid reasons.
However, Carlos was more aware than he appeared to be. His eyes squinted slightly, as if the tension was itching his eyes. Suddenly, Logan knew that Carlos could feel the tension between Logan and Kendall. Thus, when Logan walked past Carlos with a warm wave, Carlos held Logan's arm.
"What happened?" Carlos whispered, as Kendall edged closer. Logan took a deep breath, and broke himself free from Carlos's grasp. He then climbed up several stairs, a confused pair following him. However, the moment when Logan reached his floor, he knew something was wrong.
It wasn't that Carlos was catching up to him. It wasn't that Kendall was still here. It was the essence of the floor. It seemed diluted and polluted. It felt violated, and insecure. Logan suddenly felt unsafe in this building, but he was unsure why. He marked it as too much cheese from his pizza, but Logan knew that was not the reason. As Logan stepped closer and closer to his door, he felt as if a monster was hiding inside.
Fumbling with his keys, Logan rushed to open the door, giving Carlos and Kendall yet another thing to be perplexed about in the situation.
To his utmost horror, Logan saw it. He saw his one sanctuary, become defiled. He saw the sofa ruined, he saw the furniture cascaded across the floor. He saw his phone beeping with a new message, and he was too scared to peer down into the hallway, in fear of finding his worst demon.
"Logan what—Holy shit." Kendall gasped, as Carlos and Kendall caught up to Logan, and stood behind him. The entire place was disheveled. But only Logan could feel the shards of the broken sanctuary. Someone, or something, had managed to find Logan, and enter his living facilities. Whoever could do this could obviously reach Logan in an instant. Logan felt his knees wobble slightly, as he suddenly took one step forward. Mustering up all the strength he had, he immediately slammed the door right onto Kendall's and Carlos's face. Logan kneeled slowly to the floor, heaving and sobbing. He was so terrified, that his heart could have leaped out of his chest. Logan crawled, struggling to keep his tears in, and pressed the answering machine, only to hear a chilling voice.
Logan...you wouldn't come to me, so I came to you. I love what you did with the place. I love how you wear those sexy boxers...I felt so satisfied rubbing them across me. I am so horny for you Logan...You can't keep on running. I can be back anytime for you love.
Logan immediately unplugged his answering machine, and threw it against the floor, sobbing even harder. Logan could not handle this anymore—his entire safety and sanctuary was broken. He could not take it.
Suddenly, the door was thrust open, and Kendall and Carlos stood concerned. Everything was happening too fast for Logan. Nothing could be right anymore. Nothing could ever be right anymore. He had basically told Logan that he could reach Logan anywhere...at anytime... Logan was so vulnerable, and he had no one to protect him. Logan was alone, and he felt as if no one could protect him.
Logan needed an angel with a glowing halo, but it seemed like the eclipsing darkness would engulf him. He had won. He had Logan right where he wanted Logan. He had every move in his hand. Logan was not even strong enough to be a pawn; he was simply a step for him to get what he wanted.
