*Flash Back*
You smiled, determinedly believing in your statement. You felt happy, even though it was just a bit and decided when you looked up to see the demon standing in front of you: ,,I really do believe that, Lord Sesshomaru. I'm going to find it, I promise!''
You nodded deciding this instant that it would be your mission; to find lord Sesshomaru's heart. Lord Sesshomaru just closed his eyes in annoyance when you continued: ,,I think you do have a heart somewhere in there, just like I do. Maybe mine is just bigger. A lot bigger. Like ten thousand times bigger,'' You looked back up to him and smiled, some sanity returning to you as you giggled: ,,Or maybe I just show mine more often, who knows.''
You closed your eyes again as you went over what happened in your mind, only to find it oddly dreamlike, blanks everywhere. You opened your eyes when Lord Sesshomaru replied to you: ,,Do not talk unless someone addresses you,'' before a sharp pain hit the back of your head and everything went black.
*End of Flash Back*
*Your POV*
The pain in the back of your head was fading away slowly, but too slow. You groaned and sat up. You were still on the floor since Sesshomaru, most likely, hit your head. That was pretty much the only thing you remembered. You wondered why he didn't kill you when you yelled at him to stop. He would probably have. But what did you say after that?
Your head ached even more as you tried to remember. Everything was just a blur, black holes and some mist. You stood up and stumbled over to your bed. You sat down on the soft covers and hugged one of your pillows. Your hand reached to the back of your head, where the pain was the most. To your surprise, and a low ,,Ouch!'' sound, there was a bump by the size of a chicken egg. Ok, so maybe you exaggerated, but it was huge.
A bit of a flash back came to you, Lord Sesshomaru said something in the end . . . About not to talk unless you were spoken to? Something like that.
Then the doors flew open and a high-pitched voice yelled: ,,Where were you Yuri-chan?! I have been looking for you! What's wrong? Are you feeling sick? Your face is so white . . .''
You smiled to her and said: ,,I'm fine Rin, I just have a little headache. So please, don't be too loud?''
She whispered to you: ,,Okay Yuri-chan! I won't be loud, I promise! But aren't you hungry? I was looking for you because dinner is ready.''
You stood up and said: ,,Oh, is it already so late? I must get myself ready.''
You walked slowly to the bathroom and brushed your hair, tried your best to not look like a zombie, and then you went back to Rin who was constantly whispering: ,,Hurry up Yuri-chan! We'll be late!''
Then you hurried down stairs, just in time for dinner. When seated, everything was as usual. The silence, the only noise was when someone had to cough, or drink, or hit the dishes to hard. Finally the dinner was over, with all of its nervous silence. You and Rin ran upstairs, and you drew a bit. When Rin was getting bored of that she asked: ,,Yuri-chan, what does my name mean?''
You looked up from the master piece you were creating, and asked: ,,Why do you want to know?''
,,I'm curious! Do you know?''
,,Yeah, Rin means cold. Like snow, or something like that. Yeah, cold.''
She whined: ,,I don't want to be named Cold! That's so . . . snowy! And cold.''
You smiled at her frowning and said: ,,Well I think it suits you. Sometimes you really need to cool down, but you also like snow, don't you?''
,,Yeah! I love snow!''
You laughed and Rin asked what your name meant. You thought about it for a while and then you said: ,,I think it means ,,small lily,,. Yuri means Lily.''
Rin smiled and said: ,,Wow! Do you know what other names mean too?''
You nodded and said: ,,I think I know what most of them mean. Not all though. Let's see, let's write them down and their meanings.''
You wrote all the names of those you knew and Rin read it out loud:
,,Rin means Cold.
Sayuri means Small Lily.
Natsuko means Summer Child.
Takehiko means Soldier Prince.
Miu means Beautiful Feather.
Aya means colorful.''
She looked up to you and asked: ,,What about your friend? The demon?''
,,Who? Kai?''
,,Yeah.''
You thought about it but you weren't sure. Kai wasn't the most common name.
,,But his sister, Yoshi, it either means goodness, luck or free. It can be one of those.''
,,What abut Sesshomaru-sama? What does his name mean?''
You wrote it down and the only thing closest to it was Destruction Man. You didn't want to tell Rin what it meant, so you just smiled and said: ,,I'm not sure either. That is most certainly not a common name.''
,,What about the other Lord that came to visit us?''
,,Lord Katsuro?''
,,Aha!''
,,Uhh . . . It could be victorious son. You know, the most common girls names end with -ko, which means child, like Akiko, which means autumn child. But boys names often end with –ro which you can take as the number of sons, like Ichiro, Jiro, and such.''
,,Really?! How do you know these things? You are so smart!''
You laughed and said: ,,No, I'm not. This is just something I like, it's like a hobby.''
What was left of the evening you talked about this sort of stuff. When it was time for bed, you lay Rin to sleep and went to your room, exhausted after this day.
Two and a half months pass. Nothing spectacular happened and nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes you and Rin walked out to the woods, and there you met Kai and Yoshi. Yoshi and Rin became good friends, while Rin and Kai had an odd kind of relationship of an older brother and a younger sister. You and Yoshi became good friends as well, but you and Kai became closer. He told you about his family, and a bit about his past. You also told him bits and pieces from your own life. But you had to be careful not to come to close, and not to touch. Lord Sesshomaru was getting annoyed about the smell which always was stuck on you two after you came from the woods. You had an excellent excuse about that there were many demons in the forest, and of course Kai and Yoshi would be there sometimes. You knew he could make them go away from his land, or kill them, but he never did.
You and Takehiko also became closer. Your nickname for him was Tako if you were in a good mood, which you normally were, but sometimes you called him by his real name. Rin always called him Tako-chan. You sometimes had to work in the kitchen, and when you were getting pissed off by the sometimes unnatural activeness surrounding Tako, you used your first nickname on him; Kitchen Boy. Once when he was complaining about how many names you had for him you simply said: ,,Your fault for having such a long name, Tako!''
Natsuko also became one of your closest friends, and you actually felt like you had a confidential friend. But ever when it came to discuss any love life, she would close up. You didn't want to make her tell, so you just let her be that way.
The practices with Miu were getting along and you became stronger by everyday. It was tough and you were often hurt, but you still didn't whine, and cry about it. Miu was also getting warmer, and she wasn't as pissed off as she had been the first class.
You got to know the other servants as well. You had already known Tako, Natsuko and Miu, and you soon learned to communicate with Aya, who was normally The Hyper of Death, and Masaru, who was a metal demon He wasn't open much though. He barely ever spoke, and didn't like strangers, or people at all. And there was also a Cat demon girl, which name was Chika. She had brown hair, and cat ears and tail. Yuuki was still the most pleasant one of them all. He was shy, and had light hair and green-ish eyes. He was a bit shy, but loved to help.
All of them had a sad story of their own. They didn't like to talk about it, so no one talked about the time before they came to Sesshomaru.
It only happened twice. That Sesshomaru had to hit you. He didn't give you a bad treatment, but neither of these two times you felt as if you deserved it. Both were because he saw you laughing with Tako. Or smiling of something funny he said. But once you noticed that Sesshomaru disappeared for a week. He didn't show himself at all. You tried to ask Jaken, but he just mumbled something about you being noisy, and not your business.
When he got back, the tension was gone. He wasn't as, well; jumpy, as before.
Your birthday was about a month and a half away, and you were getting excited, but depressed at the same time. You were excited over becoming a woman, but depressed to not have your family to witness this event with you. Once, out in the woods you shared this information with Kai. He said: ,,Sayuri, I know it's hard. But you have to accept that they aren't here anymore. They are gone. Live in the present. You have me and Yoshi. And definitely Rin. You must have some friends in the castle who'll wish you a happy birthday and congratulations to . . . become a woman, right?''
,,How many times do I have to repeat myself? Yes; I become a full grown woman, by the laws of my village. It's just like that. Sixteen years since your birth, and sixteen more until you will become 32, and you can be a grandmother. If you will be so lucky to have children at sixteen. You know, I already had a boy asking me.''
He looked at you suspiciously: ,,Asking you for what?''
You said offended, finding it bizarre that Kai didn't know what you were talking about: ,,To get married of course!''
Kai almost fell from the tree he was sitting in, before yelling at you, shocked: ,,WHAT?!''
You felt a bit offended and asked: ,,What do you mean by "what"?!''
You noticed that his face was maybe a teeny bit flushed, but he quickly laughed and teased you: ,,As in; who would want to marry you!''
You jumped up from the tree trunk you had chosen as your seat, since you weren't much for climbing trees, and asked angry: ,,What do you mean by that?!''
Kai laughed again, shifting his position on the branch: ,,Nothing; nothing at all!''
You turned away from him, checking the time before you teased him back: ,,You're just jealous that I actually got a proposal! I mean; just look at me!''
You laughed loudly when he sat up straight and yelled at you: ,,And just what do you mean by that?!''
You waved your hand, and mocked: ,,I'm irresistible! Just admit it!''
Kai laughed loudly and told you: ,,No, I won't!''
,,Just do it already!''
,,NO!''
,,Why NOT?!''
,,Because!''
You glared at him before yelling: ,,Because what, you stupid boy?!''
Kai didn't reply, so you went on: ,,Besides, what does it matter? He's dead, so I'll never see him again, as I would have mentioned if you would have bothered to let me finish without insulting me!''
Then you saw Yoshi and Rin staring at the two of you, holding the basket with some bark from a tree Chika had mentioned she needed. More like Aya had told you she needed it and you just went out to fetch some for her. You smiled awkwardly to the two girls: ,,Hi there!''
Rin asked in a innocent tone: ,,Were you going to get married, Yuri-chan?''
You shook your head quickly and reassured her with a smile: ,,No! Of course not! I . . . Didn't want to marry the guy, so . . .''
Yoshi asked again: ,,You said he was dead.''
You looked down so Rin wouldn't see the sadness the thought of Ritsu brought up from your heart: ,,Yes, he is. He . . . He was a friend of mine. A dear friend.''
Then you looked back up and said with a huge smile on your face: ,,But that doesn't matter, that's just the past! But I think we should be heading back Rin. It's getting late. You guys found the bark, I see?''
She smiled and nodded. You asked Rin to take the basket and you told Kai: ,,We need to leave. Lord Sesshomaru is getting a bit suspicious. He can smell you guys so easily! So, I need to take a bath every single time I get back home. And so does Rin. Anyway, bye! Nice talking to you! See you later!''
And with that you and Rin walked back home. Now Rin was more than a girl you were just babysitting, she was more like a sister to you. Or a daughter. You smiled towards her, so glad you had her in your life.
It was late. A bit later then it should be. You told Rin you had to hurry up, and she nodded. You were grateful for a girl to be silent about meeting Kai and Yoshi. You told her that if she would tell Lord Sesshomaru, she would never see them again. And she probably wouldn't.
You still felt soar in your right arm. The bruises from the punishments from Lord Sesshomaru were on places you could cover up. Mostly. If they weren't, then you would lie and say that you didn't know when they came, or why. Well, no exactly lie. More like bending the truth. When you arrived to the castle you shook your head when Rin asked if you could go and wash of in the pond yet. It was a lot too cold for that, it had snowed last week. You took Rin's hand and whispered to her to be quiet, you would have to try and sneak up to your room and take a shower there. She nodded, keeping her giggles low as the two of you jumped up the stairs to the second floor. The shower was quick; you had practiced. When you were done the two of you went towards Rin's playroom, but before you were there Rin yelled as she touched your arm and ran: ,,You're it!''
You yelled after her running: ,,Soon you will be! You just wait you little . . .!''
She shrieked and laughed. You ran all around her room and finally you caught her and picked her up bride style. Then you laughed evilly and threw her on the bed. She laughed harder when you attacked her, tickling the life out of her. She yelled at you to stop and you lay down on your stomach besides her. You raised yourself up on your elbows and smiled to her. She was still giggling, and you giggled along. You didn't notice, but Lord Sesshomaru was by the door. Rin did neither, and she said: ,,It's been long since we had this much fun! You are always practicing with Miu. You have almost no time at all to be here with me! I have to play with Jaken and everything. . .''
She said it in a whiney tone, pouting along with it. You smiled to her and answered patiently: ,,Hey, don't lie! It's only two hours a day, silly. But Lord Sesshomaru wants me to practice. It's good for me too. And is it really so bad, playing with Jaken?''
She complained loudly, rolling her eyes as she said: ,,Worse! He doesn't want to play anything! It's boring. I always have to explain to him what to do in "Dolly House" . . .''
"Dolly House" was a game you and her invented. There were two friends living together, and did nothing but have fun all day long, basically.
You nodded, signaling that you understood her frustrations, but you still told her: ,,Well, maybe Jaken doesn't like playing "Dolly House". Maybe he's rather play ball or something like that. You know, boy games.''
She nodded: ,,Uh-huh, they like . . . playing ball, and run around, hide and seek, sparring, stuff like that.''
,,Maybe you can play things like that with Jaken.''
She brightened up and talked about everything she and Jaken could do the next day. You listened with one ear, you started thinking about the training. It was tough; sometimes Miu was really hard on you. But then she was nicer the next day.
Your mind traveled to the times Lord Sesshomaru had punished you. It was because you had been talking to Tako. And laughing. Having fun with someone. You grabbed your arm quickly as if you suddenly hurt yourself there. It was there where he had grabbed you and thrown you against a wall. Then he had slapped you and said that if this wouldn't stop, something worse would happen. You feared that he would hurt Tako, or someone that was innocent.
You looked back at Rin, who was still talking, and smiled as you felt a warm feeling spreading through your body. You really cared for the little girl. You suddenly felt like someone was watching and looked to the door. You blushed and sprung up. Rin looked the same way you did. She smiled and said: ,,Hi Sesshomaru-sama! I was saying Yuri-chan what me and Jaken could do tomorrow!''
You said low to Rin: ,,Telling, Rin, not saying.''
She looked at you and said: ,,Oh. Then I was telling Yuri-chan what me and Jaken could do tomorrow when she would be with Miu-san!''
Lord Sesshomaru watched Rin, before nodding. Then he glared your way, or you thought so since you felt like he was suddenly turning his attention to you: ,,I have I guest tonight. You are not allowed to wander the hallways.''
You nodded and replied quickly: ,,Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.''
You glanced at his face and noticed him looking away from you and he paid his attention to Rin: ,,You will eat up here.''
Rin nodded with a wide smile and he then just walked away. You relaxed. Then you remembered; You had promised to meet up with Tako tonight.
#He will understand, won't he? He's got to, he's such a good friend.#
You and Rin spent the night alone in her room reading one of her books, or Rin was; she was getting really good at reading. When she finally fell asleep and you snuck into your own bedroom. As lucky as you are, you just had to be walking at the same time as Lord Sesshomaru and his guest were walking the hallway downstairs. Your room wasn't very far away from the stairway. You froze as you heard the deep voices of two grown up men talking. They were in a deep conversation, about something very important.
You didn't move. You knew that demons had an excellent sense of hearing and smell, so if you would move, or a small wind came through, they would notice you. Well, maybe Lord Sesshomaru knew of you already, but the other one maybe thought it was something else. You then suddenly heard echoes from their voices: ,, . . . know you will support me in invading into Lord Katsuro's land. We will have to make a better plan. After the meeting, in roughly two months. I do know that it will be a pleasure to kill that cat. He's giving us demons a bad reputation. Don't you think?''
,,I agree. He is getting bolder by the years. I can't see why his father let him have the land. His younger brother would have been the better choice.''
,,I heard that he wanted to give Katsuro more responsibility. As if that would help him get more responsible. He is just a plain imbecile. Like a child playing with fire. He will one day get burn. But I have to get back to my land. Good bye, Sesshomaru, thank you for the lovely dinner.''
There was no response and you were safe. Then the other man's voice asked: ,,But I am curious; is that a human I smell up on the second floor?''
You froze and knew this could be the end for you. Lord Sesshomaru answered: ,,A spy, if you will. It is rather handy to have someone do the dirty jobs for you. She's a shape shifter.''
,,Is that really? Then she must be talented. I could have sworn it was a human girl. But on the other hand, you would never allow a human to dwell in your home. Isn't that right?''
He didn't answer. Then the demon said goodbye and walked out. You stayed put on the hallway, waiting for lord Sesshomaru to come up and do something very unpleasant to you. As soon as you saw him coming up the darkened stairs you began shaking. When he was in front of you, you began: ,,I'm sorry, my Lord! I didn't know what else to do! I thought I was to go back to my room as soon as Rin was asleep, like always! I thought your guest was gone, I'm so sorry!''
He sharply cut you off: ,,I have told you to stop apologizing. Do you realize how much you could damage my reputation, by allowing anyone outside this building know that I house two humans.''
You waited for him to continue the lecture, but when he didn't you realized that he was actually asking you. You answered as you shook your head: ,,No, my Lord. I don't.''
Lord Sesshomaru was glaring at you for a moment. You had closed your eyes, not wanting to accidentally meet his golden ones. You tried your best to breathe as calmly as you could. The silence was stabbing you, when he suddenly changed the subject: ,,I thought I had made myself clear about your instant connection with men. Yet I have seen you with the male kitchen servant. Also, when you return from the forest, each time you reek of that half demon and his sister. Is it just that you do not listen to what I say.''
You were so afraid that you voice shook a bit: ,,I do listen to what you say, my Lord. But it's hard to make people dislike you, especially when I don't exactly know how to. And Kai's and Yoshi's scent . . . I don't know what to say, Lord Sesshomaru . . .''
Voice sharp as glass cut through the air: ,,If I will find even a hint of that half demon on you or Rin again; they will die. Do not interact with the servants as you have; I will not have Rin in a company such as theirs.''
You glanced up, freezing: ,,But, my Lord . . . !''
He walked past you before you had a chance to say anything else. You turned and watched his back get smaller, until he was gone. Did he just say that you couldn't socialize with anyone but Rin? Not sitting in the kitchen and chatting? No talking in the woods about how weird the life here was? No giggling, no talking, no sharing secrets of any sort?
The Lord was getting weirder and weirder by every week you had stayed here, but this surpassed every single rule he had made. You sighed; what could you do? He was your "lord" after all, you had to obey him.
There were two days until you birthday; almost ten weeks had past. You were so excited about the beginning of your sixteenth year. You whole life you had been waiting for that day to arrive and it was almost here. But it wasn't exactly the way you had imagined it. If you would have been with your family, and friends, they would be planning the huge birthday party which was going to last the whole night. And everyone would bring presents, both for yourself and the place would live for the rest of your life, once you were married. And in the following week guys from the village older then sixteen were allowed to propose to you, and when the week was over, you were supposed to be married, and the last night of the week, was supposed to be your wedding night. So it was supposed to take week the whole process.
But since you were living with a demon, in a castle far away from the place which was once your home and now was just dark ruins there would not be any birthday party which would last the night, no presents, no new place for you to live for the rest of your life, no guys older then sixteen would propose to you, and by the end of the week you would still be alone and no wedding night. For you, right now, life sucked.
You had done your best to not talk you Tako, or anyone, and you stopped the forest trips. Your life was like in a bubble, no social life if you don't count Rin and Miu, who were there and you were allowed to talk to them, and when you were helping in the kitchen, which surprisingly was not as often as before. You became depressed, and lonely and even sadder. You missed the stubbornness from Kai, his selfish ways of life and the joyful Yoshi and her optimism. You also missed Tako laughing with him and talking about everything and nothing . . . and Natsuko; not to be able to talk to her about your thoughts on everything as well as your secrets and problems. Sometimes at night when you thoughts were the loudest, you led the tears out and cried the horrible cry of a person who had lost the light in life.
Sorry for how long it's been, guys, but I hope you like it, anyway :)
