The Heat from her Skin, Chapter 7: Twice With a Mackerel
I do not own the RAILDEX universe
Author Note:
The breaking of the Hiatus is in its slow progression from nothing into something.
We have a short one-shot recounting events that occurred during the HwSS events of Wednesday, when Kakine met with the alleged Number Six.
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Kamijou was currently incredulous, standing in the middle of the local park with palms facing the sky.
"My phone?" He passed his gaze between the pair standing in front of him. On the right was a petite girl wearing a Judgment armband and a field of flowers on her head. To the left, stood an unearthly looking teenage boy, a living mass of some oily white substance that Touma didn't really want to think too hard about. "What could you of all people possibly need my phone for!?"
"It's not like I'm planning on ordering takeout or something!" The white boy looked irritated. "I need to make a phone call."
Touma had turned his back away from his friends and now stood cradling his cell phone to his chest like a mother protecting her infant child from a vicious stray dog. He yelled over his shoulder. "Are you telling me that a level five doesn't have his own cell phone?!"
"I lost my phone back when I got turned into this." The boy pointed to his pure white body with a scowl. "I haven't really needed a phone up until now, so I've been putting off getting a new one."
The pure white boy then crossed his arms over his chest and turned his head to the side, speaking through clenched teeth. "Also, picture in your head what would have happened if I walked into a phone store looking like this . . . ."
Uiharu reached over and gave Kakine's shoulder a little squeeze as Touma turned back around with a sheepish expression newly written on his face.
"Yeah, I can see the problem . . . " The misfortune magnet gestured at the petite computer hacker in their midst. "But, I don't understand why you can't just borrow Uiharu-san's phone. Why does it have to be mine?"
"I need to call Hamazura and you're the only person I know who isn't in ITEM that has his phone number." Kakine pointed to the girl standing next to him, currently poking away at her mini-computer. "We tried finding it in the database, but it isn't listed."
"He's probably using a cracked phone." The flowery girl raised her head. "Since he's a friend of yours, I'm willing to overlook it this time . . . "
"That's the Judgment spirit!" The white boy reached over and scrubbed the girl's head with his hand, ruffling her hair until she ducked out of his range.
"Beetle-san!" The tiny girl began to swat at his hand. "I just got it the way I like it!"
The white boy began to slowly approach her again with a playful expression and fluttering fingers at the ready. "But you look so good as a jungle girl . . . ."
"Kyaa!" Uiharu giggled as the pair began to tussle in front of the increasingly uncomfortable Imagine Breaker. "Beetle-san!"
The third wheel of the party frantically waved his hands to get the attention of the other two.
"Oi." The playful pair froze in a comical position. "Have you guys forgotten about me over here or something?"
The boy and girl as one immediately turned back to face him, standing with equally stiff faces and ramrod straight postures. They answered him in a strident unison.
"What are you implying!?"
Touma jumped back with enough force for both of his feet to skid backwards slightly when he landed.
"Nothing, geez!"
He placed his hands on his chest and took a deep breath. After a few moments he looked back up and found that they had calmed back down, abet with eyes now cast in opposite directions . . . .
"Alright, fine . . . " They seemed confused for a moment. "I'll lend you my cell phone for the day."
The faces of the boy and girl lit up with grins, that just as quickly fell to confused expressions when he held up a finger at them.
"I have two conditions, though."
The boy and girl across from him shared a glance before leaning forwards in anticipation.
"First." He pointed at his wrist despite not wearing a watch. "I want it returned to me undamaged by this time tomorrow."
The white boy raised an eyebrow when he heard this.
"Kamijou. I hope you realize that between the two of us, I'm far less likely to destroy your phone than you are." He placed a fist on his hip and let out a short breath. "But, fair enough. What's the second condition?"
Kamijou pointed at the screen of his phone.
"I've signed up for text messages from grocery stores announcing special sales." He nodded at Kakine. "I'd like you to keep me informed on any that come up while you have my phone."
Kakine and Uiharu stood blinking for a moment before the white boy finally responded.
"Alrighty . . . ." He reached over and accepted the phone from Touma with a nod. "How many stores did you sign up for, anyway?"
"All of them."
Uiharu and Kakine each jumped up on one leg with their hands held in front of themselves like they had just seen a ghost. They shrieked in unison.
"ALL OF THEM!?"
The misfortune magnet struck a dramatic pose as he lifted his fist to his chin.
"And they laughed when I asked for unlimited text messaging." His friends' jaws dropped as he yelled up at the sky with a manic expression. "But who's laughing now!?"
The pair started backing away slightly.
"Kamijou, you have a problem."
Touma crossed his arms and locked them with a narrowed gaze.
"If level fives destroyed your eggs as often as mine, you wouldn't be saying that."
"I suppose I wouldn't . . . ." The white boy began tugging Uiharu's arm towards the park's exit. "Now if you excuse us, we have to go . . . ."
Touma watched as the level five dragged the tiny Judgment girl out of the park as quickly as he could make her. He let out a small sigh.
"Such misfortune."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Having left our misfortunate hero behind, the pure white boy maintained his brisk clip along the path until the floral-equipped Judgment girl tired of being dragged behind him and gasped out in protest.
"You seem like you're in a hurry, Beetle-san!" He stopped and released her arm at which point she began to rub some feeling back into her wrist. "Do you have an appointment or something?"
Kakine scowled to himself and nodded.
"Nothing that I'm looking forward to . . . " The boy gestured vaguely towards the east. "I'm supposed to be in a different park at 10am today."
Uiharu checked the time on her phone and looked back up. "It's after ten right now. Are you going to be okay?"
The level five looked off to the side into the distance for a moment and then turned his head back again.
"It's fine. I have one of my beetles on guard and the park is empty." The white boy gritted his teeth and muttered off to the side. "The jerk just wants to make me wait."
"Well, I need to get back to the Judgment office myself anyway" Uiharu gently shook her phone. "Shirai-san is meeting me outside the park in fifteen minutes."
Kakine's eyes glazed over briefly.
"I'll probably hightail it before then . . . " The sound of Uiharu's ringing phone broke into the pure white boy's reverie. "Phone."
Uiharu checked the caller id and brought the phone to her ear with a smile brightening her face. "It's Saten-san!"
Uiharu saw the white boy flashing a brief grin as the call connected. Her chipper voice echoed slightly through the park.
"Hello sleepy-san!"
" . . . "
"Sorry, I already ate. I would just come over, but Shirai-san needs me at the office."
" . . . "
"I assume so . . . . She said it was urgent!"
" . . . "
"Probably. We should have breakfast together tomorrow!"
" . . . "
"No Problem. I'll see you then, Saten-san!"
As Uiharu ended the call, she spied a mischievous expression on her companion's face.
"Breakfast with Saten . . . " He stood tapping his chin in deep concentration. "And a phone to return to Kamijou. I have much to think about."
"Beetle-san?"
The white boy jerked and sent her a broad grin. "Nothing at all, Uiharu-san . . . "
The girl pouted and narrowed her eyes. The boy only continued to grin at her until Kamijou's phone began ringing in his hand. Uiharu saw his face grow dark as he checked the ID.
" . . . Accelerator." The dark expression lingered for another moment before a playful one took its place. He turned to his companion. "Check this out."
The Judgment girl's eyes grew wide in astonishment as the level five answered the phone with the voice of a certain spiky-haired boy replacing his own.
"Misfortune Unlimited and Associates!" The girl's jaw had dropped as the jaunty voice rang out into the park. "President and founder Kamijou Touma speaking. How may I help you today?"
"What the hell is this? Some sort of fad you miffing heroes are into now or something?"
"They had eggs on sale today." Kakine heard the boy on the other end of the line sigh. "So what's up? Trouble on your end?"
The number one level five let out a grunt before responding.
"Define trouble. The little brat has been bugging me to invite you and the little blonde brat over for a tea party this weekend or something stupid like that . . . "
Kakine grinned to himself. "And yet, you're calling to invite me."
"Meh. The oversized brat didn't seem to want you to come over. I couldn't think of a better reason to call than that."
"That so . . . ?"
"So are you in or what?"
Without warning the pure white boy returned to the use of his own natural voice. "It sounds like fun. I'll be certain to attend."
"You bastard!" Kakine winched a little at the other level five's sudden increase in volume. "What have you done with that idiot!?"
"Never mind Kamijou, you're talking to me now."
The number one's voice turned dangerously flat.
"Tell me where he is."
The white boy was smiling so broadly he was almost shining in the sun. "You're pretty riled up about this . . . you plotting a rescue effort now or something?"
" . . . ."
"You really are!" The white boy's eyes lit up as he began to shake his unoccupied fist in front of himself. "You think I kidnapped Kamijou and now you want to come and save him!"
"When I find you, you blasted ivory bastard . . . "
"That is so adorable, I just want to slap you twice with a mackerel." Kakine was nearly bouncing in delight as he listened to Accelerator growling on the other end of the line. "So . . . are you two going to date for a while or get married and start a family right away?"
"#$% %^!"
The pure white level five jerked the phone away from his head when the sound of the number one spewing bile was interrupted by a loud crash and the sound of crunching and static. Most likely the other boy was stomping on the phone. Kakine pressed the end button with a broad flourish of his other hand, ending the call.
"Beetle-san . . . " The boy turned to see a concerned look on his companion's face. "Aren't you supposed to meet with the number one tomorrow?"
"I couldn't resist." Uiharu pouted and shook her head. He continued, rubbing his chin in a thoughtful gesture. "And, it's usually better if I catch him off guard anyway"
"If you say so . . . "
"Aw, don't get all worried on me now . . . " The boy glanced off into the distance and pointed further down the path. "Isn't that Shirai-san down there? She looks pretty agitated."
Uiharu nodded. "She sounded very sleep deprived over the phone. I hope she's okay . . ."
"In that case . . . " The white boy began to dissolve into a fading blossom of oily white smoke. "I'll leave her to you today. See you later!"
"Bye!"
With a final wave to the now absent beetle-boy, the flower-wearing girl from Judgment turned and jogged down the path to where a certain teleporter paced like a caged beast. Uiharu flinched when a pair of twitching eyes locked onto her own.
"Uiharu! Today is a day for destiny!"
"Um . . . wha–"
The park was left in silence as a touch from the other girl sent them both into the higher dimensions. A slight displacement in the air the only trace of their passage.
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Author Note:
"All of them."
Sounds likely, doesn't it . . . ?
Our favorite white beetle is at it again. Always with the smooth talking.
These events precede Kakine's call to Hamazura and Kinuhata, followed by his scuffle with Aihana and meeting with "Six".
Updates to the other stories are being written. I'll see you there!
