Wow. My ass just got owned by Twinned and I almost forgot to update today. Amazing story. If you haven't read it, you most certainly should.

The response from last chapter was awesome. I'm so glad you all enjoyed that.

The usual giant thank yous to rmhaleff and VanPireNZ for buying this and allowing me to share it.

Disturbing amounts of thanks to vampireisthenewblack for all of her beta skills and picture making and general fucklicious attitude.

The fantastic ladies of TwiSlash Unveiled suprised me Tuesday with a rec of this little story on their blog. not gonna lie, i teared up a bit. thanks so much to Naelany, Aradi, and CaptainJezebel for that.

I can delay this no longer, so I'll let you all get to reading while I…go hide.

~7~

My hands trembled as I fumbled awkwardly with Edward's buttons. I wasn't entirely sure what to do when I actually got them undone, all I knew was that I wanted to—needed to.

It wasn't like they had books for this type of thing, none that I knew of, anyway.

We had discussed this part a dozen times over the last two months, Edward patiently answering all of my questions—even the ones I was too shy to ask. We had decided there was no need to rush, and when we were both ready, we'd take that next step.

I always wanted him, always thought I was ready, but now that it was actually looking like I might get somewhere, I was a lot more nervous than I cared to admit. This whole situation was new to me, and I hadn't the slightest clue what I was doing. We had messed around a little over the last eight weeks since that night on the balcony...we had messed around a lot, actually.

The first time I felt his hands on me, exploring my body, it wasn't strange or uncomfortable like I'd worried it would be.

He always knew exactly how to touch me to make me forget everything. In those moments, the whole world melted away and it was just the two of us—hands and bodies and mouths and nothing else mattered.

Edward's hands moved down to mine. I thought he was going to stop me again, tell me that we didn't have to, that we could take it slow, but he didn't. Instead, his fingers moved to the buttons of his jeans, assisting me in my frustrating task.

I kissed his neck, my hand pushing his away as I struggled to pull his pants down over his hips. Why did that always seem so easy when people did it in movies? Clothes just seemed to fly off.

Edward pushed my shirt up, his hands lingering on my sides until I twitched away from his touch. He knew I was a little ticklish, and that combined with the nerves, I was doing all I could to keep my composure.

I took a deep breath, easing myself down onto the bed in front of where he stood. My shirt was off, and his pants were mostly down his hips, his blue boxer-briefs all that stood between us.

It wasn't as if I hadn't seen him naked before; we had gotten that far quite a few times, in fact. It was just the part that would come next that terrified me.

I exhaled a shaky breath as I pulled him closer to me, pressing my lips to his hip bone before pushing his pants and boxers all the way down.

Edward combed his fingers through my hair, tilting my head back to look into my eyes.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

I swallowed hard, nodding as I pulled him toward me for a kiss. I was sure. I had been sure for a while now. That didn't change the fact that I was nervous.

Shake it off, Jasper, I thought to myself. It's you and Edward. There's nothing to be worried about.

That was such a fucking lie. Of course there was something to be worried about. What the hell was I supposed to do?

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as I pulled Edward down to lay beside me on the bed. My lips parted against his and I felt the warmth of his tongue in my mouth.

I wasn't a virgin. I'd had sex with a few girls in high school, so it wasn't like I was completely inexperienced, but obviously this was different. Not only was Edward a guy, he was a guy that I was in love with. It wouldn't be just a fuck like it was with them.

I pulled his shirt off, kissing his chest as I moved back up to his mouth.

One step at a time, I thought. We've done this part before. This isn't new.

I relaxed against him as his arm wrapped around me, pulling me closer. His body was so warm and welcoming, so inviting.

"We can wait if you aren't ready." His piercing green eyes gazed into mine, his expression one of complete understanding.

"Would you please stop saying that shit?" I whispered before dragging my tongue along his bottom lip. "I want you. Just tell me what to do."

"Well..." Edward kissed me. "Let's start with you taking off your pants."

I chuckled nervously before pulling away and removing the rest of my clothes. Edward's eyes narrowed as he gazed at me in the same way he had every other time I had been naked with him: hungry and needful.

He pushed me back into the mattress, kissing me urgently as my fingers dug into his hips. I didn't want to hurt him, but I felt like I just couldn't get him close enough.

Our bodies were pressed together and I could feel his erection against my own as I moved under him. He took my bottom lip between his as his hand found purchase in my hair. He broke our kiss, tilting my head back and running his smooth tongue down my neck. He knew how much I loved that, how it drove me mad with desire. I groaned as I thrust my hips into his.

Edward rolled to his side, reaching into the drawer beside the bed. I dug my fingers into the sheets, squeezing my eyes shut again. It was almost physically painful to have him so near and not be touching him. I wanted to pull him back to me, but I knew what he was doing, what he was reaching for.

I felt his breath in my ear as he moved back beside me again. "Are you sure?" he whispered before taking my earlobe between his lips. My eyes rolled back in my head and I was extremely grateful that he hadn't seen.

"Fuck, Edward." The stubble on his jaw scratched at my face as I made my way to his mouth. I kissed him deeply, nibbling at his lip as I pulled back. I knew he was worried about me being nervous, but fuck, I was a guy. Horny always won over nervous.

Edward's hand was on my cock, stroking with perfect pressure. I wanted to push him away, afraid I'd come in his hand before I even had the chance to be inside him, but before I did, he moved away from me.

He smiled as he handed me the condom. I could tell he was about to ask me again if I was sure, so before the words had a chance to leave his mouth, I attacked his lips, licking and sucking and biting.

I pushed him down onto the bed as I tore open the condom. This was it. We had messed around, kissed, touched, rubbed each other to divine orgasm before now, but never had I gone so far as to actually put the condom on.

I stared motionless at my rubber-clad cock, wondering what the fuck to do next and cursing myself for not googling this shit.

Lube. I needed lube. I knew that. Common sense told me that, but was there more? Something else I was missing?

If it was a girl, I probably would have gone down on her first. That was sloppy and messy and to be perfectly honest, pretty disgusting. I'd never really liked to do it. Looking over at Edward's stiff cock, it was quite the opposite of disgusting, beautiful, thick, long. I still wasn't sure I was ready to have it in my mouth. That would have to wait.

Edward was on his back with his knees drawn up. We had talked about this part, too, that it was a little more gentle this way.

God, I was so worried I was going to hurt him.

I pushed my hair back out of my face as I moved between his legs, my free hand on his knee, idly rubbing circles.

My eyes were closed again, and I couldn't tell if I was even breathing. I was sure I was shaking though, and perhaps even sweating a bit. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, so I opened mine, meeting his gaze. He smiled at me, raising his eyebrow and if I wasn't so fucking nervous, I would have laughed.

Edward's long fingers wrapped around his cock and he began stroking himself while gazing into my eyes.

Fuck, that was hot.

I suddenly realized that my hand was no longer on his knee, but his thigh, closer to where I wanted to be.

He continued to stroke himself with one hand, while the other passed me a bottle of lube.

Oh yeah, I thought. That's what I needed.

I squeezed some out onto my finger before spreading it over the head of my cock. I wondered if I should use my finger first. I was curious what he would feel like, but I didn't want it to seem like a medical exam to him.

I thought about asking him if it would be alright, but decided to just go with it instead.

I caressed his balls, watching as his eyes fluttered shut, then moved my hand down. My finger was right at his entrance now. I swallowed hard, reminding myself to breathe as I made slow passes up and down.

Don't fucking linger! I told myself. Then it really will seem like an examination.

I watched his face for signs of pain as I slowly pushed a finger into him.

It was different, but he felt good; so warm, and tight around my finger. I was even more worried now that I would hurt him once it was my dick instead. I wanted to see myself inside him though, to watch as my cock slid into his waiting body.

I moved my finger in and out slowly as my other hand cupped his balls. When he made a low growling sound, I took it as a sign that it would be okay to add one more finger.

I continued to watch his face for any signal that I was causing him pain, but I saw nothing but pleasure.

His beautiful lips were parted, his breathing slightly uneven. I could tell he was trying not to move. He wanted me to do this all at my own pace.

I withdrew my fingers, not able to resist kissing him any longer, but not sure I could manage the two tasks at once while still being gentle.

His fingers dug into the back of my neck as he pulled me to him.

"Please don't fucking tell me you're not ready," he pleaded in an urgent whisper as he pressed his forehead to mine.

I shook my head. "Not a chance. I just wanted to taste you."

I pressed my lips to his again, pushing my tongue into his mouth.

He was hot everywhere, inside and out. I sat up again, grabbing the lube and squeezing more out into my hand. I knew I'd need it, but wasn't sure how much.

I coated my dick completely, spreading more over his entrance with my finger. My hand was still covered in the lube so I grabbed Edward's cock and stroked it a few times before wiping the rest on the bed beside me.

Fucking lube everywhere, and I still wasn't inside him yet. I must have been stalling. Why was I stalling?

"Jasper." Edward's voice was rough and smooth at the same time, and the sound of my name rolling off his sweet tongue almost had me coming already.

This was about to be embarrassing.

With the back of my hand I wiped the perspiration from my forehead, steadying myself with one hand on Edward's knee again. I rocked forward a little, feeling my cock pressing against his ass. That was all I needed.

I guided myself to his entrance, holding my breath as I slowly pushed into him. Edward moaned, and I still wasn't breathing. The head of my cock was completely inside him, bringing incredible pleasure without a single movement, and I still wasn't breathing.

Edward's hand gripped his cock again, stroking slowly as his hips shifted upward just a little, taking me in deeper…and still, I wasn't breathing, only now, I was actually aware of it.

I drew in a deep breath before pushing my way into him. He was so incredibly tight around me. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before; I knew I wouldn't last long at all.

Edward reached his free hand out to me, gently tracing the vein on my forearm with his fingertips. I moved again, a little at a time. In and out, and then in a bit farther. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to use my hand to get him off instead of having him do that himself, but I was worried about splitting my focus in any way. One thing at a time for now, but I would make sure in the future to bring him as much pleasure as I could before using his body for my own benefit.

The guilt of that thought almost distracted me from the feel of Edward's body around me, until I looked up into his eyes and saw all the care and devotion.

I thrust into him a little harder and I felt my eyes grow wide with the surprise of my own action. How did that not hurt him?

"Jasper," Edward said in a quiet, soothing tone. "You're too tense. Relax. Doesn't it feel good?"

Among all the other emotions I was feeling in that moment, sadness suddenly welled up within me. Was I making him think I didn't want him? That I wasn't enjoying this?

My heart broke at the thought. I leaned over him slowly, as carefully as I could. My face was inches from his as I gazed into his eyes, so deep and beautiful.

"I love you," I whispered. Never in all my life had those three words held such profound meaning to me. Not only did I speak them, I felt them with every fiber of my being, more powerfully than I ever had before.

I wanted him to feel it, too. To know that I wanted him, that I needed him in every way he'd have me.

"God, I love you, too." Edward tilted his head up, brushing his lips over mine before kissing me fully.

His knuckles grazed my stomach as he stroked his cock, increasing the pace. I continued a gentle rocking motion as my tongue explored his mouth. I could feel my muscles tensing as my orgasm built, and I only wished I was better at this so that I could get Edward off before I came.

My toes dug into the mattress as a low growl emanated from deep in my chest. I sucked his lip into my mouth, a fire igniting within me as my whole body buzzed with the intensity of my orgasm. A low "fuck" escaped through clenched teeth and my arms trembled as I held myself over him.

Pulling out of him, I sat back on my heels, watching as he continued to pleasure himself. I wanted to help him, to wrap my lips around him and make him feel as good as he always made me feel, but as soon as I actually began to muster up the courage to try it, he had reached his own orgasm.

A stream of expletives fell from his lips as thick white spurts of come covered his stomach and hand.

It was the single hottest thing I'd ever seen.

A/N

Well, that was…an entire chapter of just smut. I blame vamp for this.