Chapter Seven Epilogue "Jane's Sermon"
It was Sunday morning at Saint Andrew's parish and the deacon had just began reading the Gospel. As he announced the reading he marked the text by making the sign of the cross on the page of the lectionary,"The Holy Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ according to Saint Mark the fifth chapter verse 21 through 43" then signing his forehead, lips and heart. Maura stood in the congregation with a new sense of reverence, she had experienced the ritual of the Holy Eucharist many times, but today the words were alive and fresh as if they were speaking just to her. The previous readings from Lamentations, and the chanting of the Psalm that so spoke to her heart's own longing for healing, awakened in her a connection that she had not experienced before. These were not old dead words she was hearing but they were her words new and fresh rising from deep in the depths of her spirit connecting her to generation upon generation of women who have almost lost a child and had cried out to God in pain. Maura continued now with the response "Glory to you, Lord Christ" and then she listened as the deacon told the story of a parent who begged Jesus to travel to his house so that he may heal his daughter who was dying. As Jesus made his way through the crowd to reach the house a woman who had long been suffering reached out and touched his clothes, knowing that if she did she would be healed. Jesus stopped, and asked who had touched him, and finally the woman approached him and he affirmed that her faith had healed her. Yet now an apparent tragedy, a messenger from the house, the girl has died, but Jesus presses forward and despite people's doubts he heals the girl who rises from her sickbed. As the reading ended Maura couldn't help but see connections between her own recent experiences and the story in the Gospel. The verger led Mother Jane from her stall on the chancel, crossing past the altar to the steps to mount the high pulpit. Jane paused to solemnly bow to the altar as she passed, then she climbed the stairs and stepped into the pulpit. She looked out across the congregation and saw Maura standing with Constance, Cailin, and Hope. She glanced at her manuscript for a second and then offered a blessing and motioned for the congregation to be seated.
Maura watched with delight as Jane stood there in the pulpit dressed in her white alb with its lace trimmed sleeves and Benedictine knotted cincture topped of with her green concelebration stole. She wondered what Jane would say? The readings so spoke to her this morning, so she could only assume that Jane would have had a similar experience with reading these texts. Maura sat down and listened intently as Jane began Good morning. One of the differences between me and my colleague Canon Wells is that he always offers a theme for his homilies. Whereas mine seem to just ramble on until through the grace of God they seem to come to some kind of point. Well today In a departure from the ordinary I offer this theme from Psalm 130 "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning, more than those who watch for the morning." Maura thought about the verse, the image of waiting, and the statement in his word I hope. She thought about the agony of having to wait, not knowing whether Alice would live or die, how hard it was to have hope in the face of such suffering.
Jane began by speaking about the Gospel and the hope that motivated the parent of the dying girl to speak out Jesus. Then she said "I learned a lot about hope this week, and it all started with a terrible cup of hospital coffee. That first night in the hospital was like being awake in a nightmare, I thought my Alice was going to die, and all I heard when I prayed was silence. Yet as I felt like I was ready to slip into despair, the hospital chaplain reminded me of the need to hold onto hope in God's essential goodness, and his love for us. This was something I had learned a long time ago during my own time in the hospitalization, when the woman I love gave me this cross as a token to never stop having hope in God's love." Maura was surprised with how vividly Jane had remembered that moment in the hospital. Maura knew that Jane always wore that cross and said it was because she had given it to her, but that she remembered all those details was shocking. What Jane didn't know was that Maura had just met with her physicians and had agreed to a Do Not Resuscitate/Do Not Intubate order. Jane continued"If we loose are hope we face sliding into despair. This is the arch nemesis of hope, for in despair there is no meaning to the suffering we experience and we are lost in an unending pain that seems not to strengthen are faith but to destroy." Maura thought of her own slip into despair, and the crushing pain she felt, along with the shame and guilt that left her isolated and alone. Then she heard Jesus say"Yet even in the midst of our despair God calls us to look beyond the evil and toward the good because that is where God is!" Maura mused, yes God is there, one just had to continue to look for the good! Jane continued "God is often found where you least expect to find him. God is the God of our ordinary experience and responds to us through the ordinary but he does respond though we need to be open for the response, which might not come in the form we're expecting." Maura looked over at Hope and Cailin and said Amen.
At the end of the service Maura stood next to Jane in the receiving line. Most of the members had heard that Alice was in the hospital, and were genuinely relieved to hear that she was expected to make a full recovery and return home next week. After the last person exited the sanctuary Jane and Maura were left alone with Canon Wells. "So Mother, have you decided?" Jane nodded "I'm calling the bishop tomorrow, and I am going to accept the position. The hardest part of this decision has been the thought of leaving Saint Andrew's." Canon Wells laughed "Well get that thought out of your head. I am going to fight to keep you here, instead of being put in residence at the cathedral. There is no reason they can't keep you here, where you're needed and loved." Jane gave her mentor a hug "thank you!" Canon Wells eyed Constance and Hope standing by the door. "So your family is waiting for you Mother, go get changed and enjoy the day! We'll talk on Tuesday." Jane hung up her vestments and then Jane and Maura walked up to Jane's office so she could finish changing. "Maura if you don't want me to take this position, just say so and we will be off for the village by the sea." Maura smiled "I know, but I can wait a few years, as long as I'm home with Alice. Now get out of your cassock and back into your clerics so we can go to brunch." Jane quickly changed into her suit "Maura can you help me with my cross? Maura smiled "Have I ever told you that I love this cross, and every morning when I help you put it on it gives me hope." Jane smiled knowingly.
The End
Author's note
I want to thank my readers who have taken the time to follow my stories, and to write. I wish I had the time to respond to each of you individually, but rest assured I have read your comments and I am taking your suggestions and critiques seriously and will incorporate some of these ideas in future stories. I am glad that so many people like Mother Jane, and are actually taking ownership of her. I can see this in the interest people have in her past, and the impact her new position may have on Maura. I have at least two more Mother Jane stories in the works (plus a few ideas knocking about) in one of these stories I am planning a series of major flashbacks to the shooting and the ICU, but I am considering the idea of actually writing the whole story starting with Jane and Maura's wedding at some point. Keep the questions and the ideas coming, I am glad people enjoy Mother Jane and I am happy to share her with you. As for the question of whether Jane will get back to her old detective ways, all I can say is stay tuned.
Peace,
Fr. Gene
