When Leonard was asleep, he was in a world of beautiful women dressed as other beautiful women.
When he was awake he was hung over and nauseated.
He preferred to be asleep.
He was happily in a world of a blond Leia and a brunette Seven of Nine when...
Knock, knock, knock.
"Leonard!"
Knock, knock, knock.
"Leonard!"
Knock, knock, knock.
A female voice chimed in, "Leonard!"
He hesitantly opened his eyes and saw Sheldon and Reg were standing over his bed.
"Wake up, sunshine! You're thirty now. You need to get your ass in gear if you want a Nobel Prize. They don't award them post humously!"
They were no longer dressed alike. Reg was in a pair of jeans and her own superhero shirt (Green Arrow) and Sheldon was in one of his "alternate" outfits.
"Why did you change clothes? Did you guys get messy at the hot dog train?"
"I told you he would be less than useless," Leonard assumed Sheldon was addressing Reg, "Now, get up. We're going to the office."
"It's Sunday!"
Sheldon shook his head in disapointment, "I am giving you the oppurtunity to get in on the groundwork of a paradigm shifting..."
"Some dude spilled soda on Sheldon and I went all Incredible Hulk on the guy. Split Sheldon's pants in half."
Obviously she was joking but Leonard was enjoying the mental image.
"Indeed, Reg is going to be the 'muscle' in our little band of scientists. That leaves you without a role for the moment so I'd suggest you get out of bed and find a way to be useful."
"You can be the looks," Reg suggested with a wink.
"I think you're the looks and the muscle and... the brains."
It sounded like sleazy when he said it out loud but it was 100% sincere.
Reg gave him a dazzling smile and another wink.
Being awake wasn't so bad afterall.
"Come on, Leonard, we don't have all day," ordered Sheldon.
"I still don't understand..."
"Shall I recount the events of last night? Shall I begin with a rousing game of spin the bottle or skip straight to the defilement of my bed with my archenemy..."
"I'm getting up! Let's go to the office and work on a Sunday!"
2.
Leonard completed his assignments without complaint. Reg was reviewing three months of North Pole data with Sheldon. Her pure enjoyment of the work reminded him of Howard. Leonard loved performing experiments and Sheldon loved solving problems but all the steps in between were work. Reg seemed to be one of those people for whom the entire process was... fun.
"You realize if we actually make successful adjustments to the orignal numbers, you're going to be back at the North Pole starting all over again?"
Sheldon smiled happily, "I enjoyed my time there. No uneccessary distractions, no need to for engaging in tedious conversation..."
"If we tried to talk, he'd yell at us..."
"I'm sorry, Leonard, did I not give you enough to do to keep you occupied?"
Leonard went back to his assignment. He was in enough trouble.
3.
Sheldon and Leonard watched in awe as Reg filled white board after white board with equations.
Not wanting to interupt her, Leonard sent Sheldon a text.
Wow. She is seriously smart.
What an astute observation. It is always illuminating to converse with you. Sarcasm.
Duh. She's really pretty.
Indeed. She has the waist to hip porportion indicative of fertility. Very attractive from an evolutionary perspective.
You are an ass man.
It's not a fetish, it's science.
I'm sorry. I meant to write 'You're an ass, man."
Sheldon took a moment to contemplate the wording and change in punctuation, ascertained the new meaning of the sentence and gave a breathy laugh. He then typed LOL.
I know. I'm right here. I heard you LOL.
The conversation descended into bickering and continued until Reg finished her adjustments. She spoke in an exagerated Louisianna accent.
"If y'all'er done OMGing about how GMTA, we have us some simulations to run."
4.
Sheldon stared at the screen. His eyes were sore and blood shot but he couldn't tear them away from what was unfolding in front of him.
Maybe they could detect monopoles.
Sheldon hated irrationality as a general rule and irrational numbers in particular. They tainted your data with fractions of uncertainty. Infantisimal fractions of a number but adding to one another, shifting the data, distorting reality and the landscape of your thoughts.
Reg was leaning over his shoulder but was careful not to touch or breath on him. She would be a tolerable presence in his life.
"Fucking irrational numbers. I hate those bitches."
Sheldon nodded agreement with her ineloquently stated observation, "Wake Leonard up, we have work to do."
She looked at where Leonard had curled up on a desk.
"It must be awesome being short. You can sleep anywhere."
