-Chapter 7-
Quinn woke the next morning to the alarm clock on her cell phone going off. She found herself in an extremely comfortable position, which was odd because her bed really, really needed replacing and wasn't all that comfortable. Her eyes were fighting to open because they were burning but the second that a body squirmed underneath her and a groan came from that body her eyes flew open. Her head was on Rachel's stomach. Rachel's fingers were in her hair. Quinn's eyes darted around. She was in the living room, they were on the couch. Quinn quickly sat up; Rachel barely stirred as her hands fell away from Quinn's head. The blonde got her phone and shut it off.
She watched Rachel sleep for a few moments from the kitchen and her head ran through what had happened the night before. She'd cried into Rachel's shoulder and poured her entire heart out about not knowing what to do with Jasper and almost missing her husband's funeral and being so scared that Noah would hurt himself and guilty that she had dumped so much on her daughter. She remembered her eyes burning so much she absolutely had to close them and then crying a little more and then that was it.
The blonde sighed and sat down on the edge of the couch and gently shook Rachel's shoulder. The brunette stirred a little and her eyes fluttered open. She gasped when her eyes met Quinn's and sat up quickly. Quinn took her lower lip between her teeth and tried really hard not to think about how Rachel looked exactly the same when they would wake up together as teenagers.
"Good morning," Quinn whispered. "I don't mean to like…rush you or anything but I think you should probably go. I'm not sure I want to explain this."
"Nothing happened…"
"I know," Quinn sighed. "But kids like to assume things."
"Got it," Rachel yawned. "Dinner tonight?"
"I'm going to my boss' for dinner. Tomorrow? I'll cook. I've got stuff I need to use up."
"Okay," Rachel said with a smile. She got up off the couch and stretched, Quinn followed her to the door.
"Thank you, Rachel," the blonde whispered. "For everything."
Rachel nodded. "I'm going to hug you now."
Quinn let out a quiet laugh and wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and the shorter girl's arms went up around her neck. They stayed a little longer than would probably be acceptable for friends and it didn't go unnoticed by Quinn but it felt good to be held and so what anyone else would think didn't really matter. She finally let go, though, when she realized that Rachel wasn't going to.
"I'll see you tomorrow night," Quinn said.
"Maybe. I might need a plethora of meat and poultry. Perhaps I'll host a barbeque this weekend."
"Stardom has done nothing to get rid of your total dorkiness, Rach."
The brunette smiled and bounced out the door to her car. She gave a small wave as she got in and Quinn breathed in the heavy late-spring air before she shut the door and went to wake her kids to get them ready for school and the babysitter.
Quinn traded shifts with one of the workers in the meat department and sure enough, around two o'clock a short brunette came striding up to the meat case with a huge grin on her face.
"What can I get for you today, miss?" Quinn said with a smile.
"Well I'm thinking of throwing a barbeque this weekend and I'd like to place an order. What do you recommend?"
"Well we have our barbeque specials," Quinn pointed to the LCD display board behind her. "It depends on how many people will be there and what they like."
"I guess I should probably figure that out beyond a friend of mine and her three kids, shouldn't I?"
"It might be a good idea." Quinn glanced around at the almost empty section of the store. It would pick up just before her shift ended but for the moment it was quiet and there were only a few people browsing. "So you really are doing the barbeque thing?"
Rachel shrugged. "I thought it might be fun to invite everyone that's still around. If I'm going to be spending more time in Lima then I should re-establish some relationships."
"Just how long are you planning on staying in Lima?"
"Like I said, I have no contractual obligations at the moment."
Something hadn't sat right with Quinn since Rachel showed up. Rachel had been nominated for an Oscar. She'd seen it. She watched that night on TV as Rachel lost the Best Supporting Actress award. But she didn't talk about her career. She had "no contractual obligations". Granted, they had been focused quite a bit on Quinn but Rachel used to love talking about herself and how good she was at what she was doing. Quinn hadn't heard a word of it.
"Can you come by tonight? Nine?"
"Of course. Is everything okay?"
"It's fine, I just wanted to talk."
"Definitely! You can help me plan for the barbeque." Rachel grinned.
Quinn nodded with a smile. She was going to figure this out. A customer approached Rachel and politely asked for an autograph and a cell phone picture and the brunette obliged before turning back to Quinn. Just as she opened her mouth another customer marched up to the meat counter and started ranting in Greek about unsatisfactory lamb chops. Quinn shrugged and Rachel gave a small smile and a wave before she left the store.
As expected, traffic picked up right when Quinn was supposed to clock out and so she slipped away a few minutes early. She could afford it and she felt she deserved it since she'd be working on Saturday and getting double overtime pay. She hurried to the Hudson house and was shocked when Finn opened the door for her.
"We need to talk," he said. "I put off baseball practice for this so you're not saying no."
Quinn groaned. "I know what this is about."
"Then it'll be painless. Come on."
Finn ushered Quinn through the house and she kissed each of her kids on the top of the head before she went into the den and Finn closed the door behind them.
"So Rachel, huh?"
"It's not…" Quinn sighed. "Yeah, Rachel."
"Quinn you know I think you're a good mom and everything but do you think this is a good idea?"
"She wants to be here, Finn. She lasted through one of Noah's meltdowns and Beth being a diva and she knows about Jasper. If she wanted to leave she would've done it. I gave her the chance."
"She lasted through a lot of stuff in glee club, too, but in the end she still left."
"Listen, I know that this is a risk…but…this is the first time I've felt really happy in a long time, Finn. Ever since Puck died. She looks at me and everything she says is sincere and honest. You and I both know that Rachel sucks at lying."
"I just don't want you to get hurt again. It was bad enough when she left and then when Puck…look, Puck was my best friend, Q. I've got like some best-dude code that says I gotta look out for you. I mean, I'd do it anyway if he wasn't my best friend 'cause you're also kinda one of my best friends and I just don't want you to get hurt. Just be careful, okay?"
"I will." Quinn smiled and he opened his arms for a hug. "You have looked out for me, Finn. You have no idea how great you've been and how much I appreciate everything you've done for us. I really would like to give her a chance, though."
"I got it. But if she hurts you…well I can't do anything to her 'cause I'd go to jail and lose my job but I'll probably yell at her a lot or something. Maybe hire the mafia."
Quinn chuckled and reached up to press a kiss to Finn's cheek. "Beth's already said she'll club Rachel over the head with her awards."
"Cool!"
The blonde shook her head. "Rachel wants to have a barbeque this weekend, I'm helping her plan it. I'd really like it if you came so you can talk to her. See for yourself if you think she's telling the truth."
"Totally, you know I never turn down food."
"Some things never change."
Finn grinned and kissed the top of Quinn's head before they left the den and Quinn took Jasper from Kelsey and herded the kids into the van to get them home and washed up for dinner with her boss that night.
Dinner went smoothly, her boss slipped each of the kids a five dollar bill like he always did. Quinn put Jasper's in his duck-shaped bank that Brittany and Santana had given him for his fourth birthday, just like she always did. She got Jasper stretched and exercised, Noah read the first couple chapters of The Last Battle, and Beth settled in her room with a book she'd picked up in the library. The house was quiet and Quinn turned on the TV for the few minutes she had before Rachel was to get there. She turned it onto one of the few channels that basic cable provided and it was some entertainment news show. She sighed and dropped the remote because there wasn't anything else on that was worth it.
"And in our star-watch news," the announcer said, "Oscar nominated actress and singer Rachel Berry was spotted in her hometown of Lima, Ohio, a source reported to us. She was seen at the local grocery store…" A picture of Rachel leaving Pick-n-Save with her cart full of fruit and vegetables flashed on the screen, "…as well as visiting who we assume was a friend." A picture of Rachel knocking on Quinn's front door was next. "But why has Berry gotten the sudden urge to leave Los Angeles? A source that is close to the star gave us this statement…"
Quinn's attention was caught as she stared at the screen and a woman's voice came on as the transcript from the phone call scrolled on the screen.
"Rachel's had some problems. She wants to get out of Los Angeles and away from all of it for a while," the woman said. "She wants to clean herself up and she doesn't know if she'll come back to film or even the stage. After her marriage fell apart -."
There was a knock on the door and Quinn scrambled to grab the remote and shut off the TV. She leapt off the couch and flung the door open, Rachel greeted her with a smile and Quinn tried to wipe all evidence off of her face of what she'd been watching.
"Come in," Quinn opened the door and Rachel stepped in. The brunette dropped her purse and jacket on the couch and sank into it; Quinn joined her and looked Rachel over for any kind of evidence of…well, she wasn't sure. What was Rachel trying to clean herself up from? Nothing had ever been said about drugs or alcohol…
"How was dinner?"
Quinn shook her head and blinked a few times, shaking out any accusations before they made their way out of her mouth. "Just fine, as always. My boss' wife knows how to cook absolutely everything there is to cook. In the year we've been having dinner there I'm not sure she's ever repeated a dish."
"Sounds amazing."
Quinn nodded and there was an awkward silence while she looked at the floor and the walls and anywhere but Rachel.
"Why are you in Lima, Rachel?"
Quinn glanced over at the brunette and she furrowed her eyebrows. "For the reunion."
"The reunion isn't until July. Do you want to try again?"
"Quinn, I don't know what you've heard but I assure you that it's all gossip."
"How about I hear it from you before I hear it from anyone else? If you're here for some rehab program or because…"
"I'm not a drug addict," Rachel said firmly. "I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic. Why would you believe the tabloids like that?"
"I haven't read any of the tabloids. All I've seen is what was on just now. Some woman said you were a wreck and taking a vacation to get yourself cleaned up and she didn't know if you'd ever go back."
Rachel groaned and rubbed her temples. "Someone is so getting fired for letting that leak."
"So it's true?"
"Listen," Rachel sighed, still looking down and threading her fingers through her hair. "It's true, I needed time away. My divorce was final a few months ago and I need some time to adjust. So, I wrapped on the movie I was shooting and packed my things and flew here. The divorce was really, really messy, Quinn. We were together for five years and everything was really good until the last year or so and I just…I cheated on him. He wanted to take me back but I said no. I had to fight him to get the divorce and things got…really intense for a while. He never hurt me or anything…but it was just intense. I finally had to tell him…I…I had to tell him…"
Rachel started hyperventilating, Quinn scooted over and rubbed soothing circles on the diva's back until she calmed down.
"What did you tell him, Rachel?"
"A year ago I was handed a script for a movie, a teen drama. The part they wanted me in was a teacher mentoring a pregnant, deeply religious teen through her parents and peers rejecting her and…it hit a little too close. I-I don't know what the ending was because I couldn't get through it and I passed on the project. It brought up a lot of things I thought weren't there anymore, Quinn. Feelings I thought had long since withered away. I told him…I told him if he could handle being my second choice then things would work. It was the only way I knew how to get him to divorce me. He wouldn't be able to handle being second best."
Quinn stopped rubbing circles and pulled her hand away. She nervously wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the floor. The tense silence wrapped around her and she knew what Rachel had meant when she said that and her brain was flooded with mixed emotions. And she had no idea what to do with them. Rachel was at least being honest with her. But again she wasn't ready for this. She looked up slowly and sighed.
"Rachel…Rachel I'm not ready for this. I…I don't even know if I can…"
Rachel's head snapped up and she started shaking it. "No…no, no! That…that's not what I meant! I mean…it is what I meant, Quinn, but I know you're not ready. I…I honestly had no intention of bringing any of this up for a while, if ever, but you asked and I wanted to be honest with you."
"I appreciate that."
"I don't expect anything from you. I'll take what you're willing to give even though I don't deserve it but I expect nothing. I came back to Lima to figure out who I was and what I wanted and, believe me, you're helping. I don't have friends like this in Los Angeles. They would never invite me to come sit on their couch and just talk. It's always polite invitations to cocktail parties, never anything this intimate. I miss it."
"How long are you staying?"
"I don't know. I honestly don't know. Obviously in a few months I'll have to start doing press for the new movie but until then I don't want to do anything other than…well, sitting here on your couch and talking to you for the next few months would be nice."
Quinn smiled a little and looked down at her fingernails. "I'm glad you're being honest, Rachel. But like I said…I'm not ready yet. Maybe…maybe in a while we can talk about it, after you get to know the kids better and we get to know each other again. I forgave you for leaving but…some wounds run a little deep. A friend is what I really need right now."
"Whatever you want, Quinn."
Quinn brushed her fingers over her wedding ring and nodded. "We need to plan the barbeque," she said, changing the subject and effectively ending the conversation.
Quinn went to the kitchen and grabbed a notebook and she and Rachel started planning out a Sunday afternoon barbeque to be had at the Berry house. Quinn told Rachel everything that had become of their former classmates and how Mr. Schuester was still there and New Directions was still winning awards left and right and were now higher on the social ladder than even the sports teams that Finn was coaching. Rachel was ecstatic to hear that and made sure Mr. Schuester's name was on the list of invitees so she could talk to him about maybe making a few appearances to help him out.
The hug when Rachel left was the same as it had been that morning and Quinn again tried to ignore the fact that it made her feel things she shouldn't.
