The Martians

Chapter 7

"Is this seat taken?" Beth asked Rick before sitting beside him in the control room.

"Take it, it's yours. You okay?"

Beth stared out the foot-thick aluminum oxide glass window that was currently not shuttered. The moon was just off to the left and looked larger than the Earth almost directly ahead of them. The view was intoxicating and worth the trip by itself.

"Yeah, I'm good. Bored. I think I'm going to spend most of the next six weeks reloading content to make the trip back more bearable. How are you?"

"I know what you mean about bored. The last three days of this trip seem to take as long as the first three months. I'm good, why?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering what Marissa thought about NASA's take back. Worried about you I guess."

"Listen to ya!" Rick laughed. "Marissa and I, well, we've been together since Test School at Edwards. She knew coming in I wanted to fly. She's not happy, but she understands. She's our biggest supporter. We're good. And I wouldn't trust picking up Lewis to anyone else. What about you? Why are you coming back? There are..."

"Nobody else knows these systems like I do, I, well I don't want to brag, but I really am the best. And no one is waiting for me at home anyway."

"Except the millions of guys that bought your poster."

"Yeah. well I think most of them just, well, they aren't interested in who I am. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"If it's about Mark..."

"No, I mean, we can talk about that if you want to. You, well I know you know, there's really no such thing as privacy here, we talked and we're going to talk again face to face, you know, about us and if we have a future and"

"Beth, I love Mark, you know that, but when he said he had no idea you felt that way about him? He was telling you the truth. He really thought you and Chris were together. I know,,, he's an idiot. Smartest idiot I know but"

"Still an idiot. Yeah, I figured that out. No, I was going to ask... wait I was going to ask two things. First, why didn't you ask to scrub me for part two?"

"You already answered that" Rick smiled, "no one knows these systems better than you, and you are the best at what you do. No one on this crew is replaceable. No one. If one person dropped out, I was going to tell them to load up Ares IV. What's your other question?"

"Uh, thanks. You really didn't even need to ask if we would return you know. My other question, well, me and everyone else too I think, we all seem tired lately. I feel exhausted. Are you sure want to try to get us there and back again?"

"Uh, you see the centrifugal gravity display there? Reach over and peel the tape off."

"Tape?" Beth asked as she looked. The display indicated an artificial gravity rotation of 1.0. Touching it she did feel tape and when she peeled it off, the otherwise clear tape had a red and black mark on it, and the display read 1.3.

"You asshole! No wonder I feel tired, I must weigh 200 pounds!"

"It's been like that since Houston sent us the plans to park at Discovery, I wanted everyone to be ready for earth. We're 36 hours out, go ahead and slow the spin, it's the arrow right below it and"

"I know which arrow it is. Geez, why didn't you tell us?"

"We all needed the exercise, and it's easier than hitting the gym as much as Houston wants us to. And we're going to look great at the beach!"

"You know, I have noticed my legs and gluts were really toned lately." Beth smiled.

"Girrrrrl yo booty gonna be so fine!" Rick laughed.

"Stop, that's inappropriate for my commander to say. It's going to be spectacular." Beth laughed. "Have you seen that vid about "Watney's Harem?"

"Yeah, Alex showed it to me. I just hope Mark doesn't see it or we will never bring his ego back down."

"You don't think..."

"What? Mark and the Victoria crew? Are you kidding? Lewis would kill him."

Ironically it was about that time that Missy was coming back to reality after yet another session with Mark. They shared a mattress, Beth's coincidently, placed behind the two front seats in the rover where the other two seats would have been had Mark not ripped them out for being pointless.

"Mark?"

"Missy?"

"You know this has to stop when we link up with Victoria don't you?"

"Well, I can only imagine it will be less frequent anyway. I'm not sure how that's going to work out."

"We won't ever be truly alone. Look, I guess what I'm getting at is it will stop. It must, but I don't regret anything. You're an amazing man and I love you. I... I think I owe to Bob to try again, but I don't know if that is going to work. I don't know if I want it to work... I mean..."

"I understand. We have what we have, whatever that is."

"No, I mean... When we get back to Earth, we can be close can't we?"

"Like this kind of close?"

"Yes."

"I guess that depends on you and Bob."

"Yeah. I guess it does."

"In the meantime can we not worry about it? There is one woman on the whole planet, and I want her to be mine, okay?"

"Okay." Missy smiled. "I'll do the panels if you will dump the buckets."

"Why do I always have to..."

"Minion. Remember?"

"Yessir mamm. Right away mamm." Mark laughed as he rose to get his EVA suit on.

The buckets were filled with excrement. A 4-month journey produced way more than they could effectively carry, and they only needed so much to start the bacterial growth anyway. The rest Mark could harvest from Orion III. Every few days a hole was dug, and they contributed their waste to the frozen wasteland that was Mars. By the book they should be in sealed plastic bags, but they would have run out of appropriate bags long ago anyway. It might screw up future scientists to discover, but there wasn't much they could do about it. Truthfully, digging a hole was a waste of time but one they did anyway. It was okay though as it gave Mark time to work.

The panels were strapped in saddle bags made from hab canvas attached to the rover. Both astronauts were needed to easily get them down, but then they were just laid on the ground more or less facing the sun. Each had started with a bracket to lift them up, but those could not be easily stored in the rover, so they stayed at the hab. When it was possible to find rocks to lean them against this was done, and there were usually plenty of rocks around.

The rover sucked all the air out of the compartments before allowing the doors to open. To conserve water, Mark would open the "poop bucket" every time so that its' contents would freeze dry. This kept the odor down to a minimum and the water in it was ultimately recycled. It was gross to think about, so neither crew member tried to do so. Water was their most precious resource, they would die without it. When Mark thought about it though, they could go longer on Mars without water than without heat, so really plutonium was their most precious resource.

This was another thing they tried not to think about.

Back on Earth, Teddy was feeling pretty good about everything. Watney and Lewis were on pace with Victoria One to arrive nearly at the same time, certainly within days barring any problems. Victoria One had a fine crew that knew how to work the media, and thus congressional funding, from space, and Ares III returned as heroes, epic ones as they were going back. The interviews were endless, and on top of it all, they even looked great. All were early 30's, fit, lean and muscular. Annie had them appearing as much as possible in tees and slacks and did quite a bit of work out film as well. She even talked then into a day at the beach so they could be photographed in swimwear for posters and the media. Beth hated this and Alex thought it strange but his wife liked the pay bump from sales so Alex was all in. Communications were opened between the Ares III crew and Victoria I, and even over the long distance they appeared to become fast friends. Both spent copious media time bragging on each other's courage and dedication.

What had been a disaster media wise was turning into the best thing that happened public relations wise since Apollo. If it didn't turn into a full-on disaster.

On arrival at Discovery technicians went straight to work on Hermes, doing the upgrades, refurbishment, refueling and restocking as quickly as possible. It had always been planned that the sleeping areas on rotation disk two would be expanded with more rooms or pods, these literally snapped and bolted into place and were connected within a couple of days as they were designed to integrate with the ship and were prefab. It was more work setting up an outdoor concert stage than it was adding them to the Hermes, except the expense was much higher and the environment more challenging. Still, the Hermes had been designed for six, and would now, if all went well, carry all nine. In order to balance the disk, it would be able to carry up to twelve, but most of that area would be stuffed with samples on the way back, plus food and water for the round trip.

The crew arrived by shuttle at KSC and went into isolation so that their immune systems could adapt to all the germs and viruses ours fight off every day. All received steroid shots to boost them, as well as a new round of inoculations and flu shots. This was standard procedure for every long term-flight.

As one might expect the first order of business for all was a hot shower that lasted for an hour which was to be followed by dinner with their families in a visiting gallery. Irene was waiting for Beth in the women's locker room as she exited in a bath robe.

"Uh" Beth stammered at her presence. "A little privacy maybe?"

"We've met, Irene Shields. I am the psychologist assigned to"

"I know who you are, I was just surprised that anyone would be here. I still am."

"We're off the record. You have doctor client confidentiality with me, but I need you to tell me, what is going on with you and Watney?"

"What makes you think anything is?"

"Mark Watney, to the American taxpayer, was and is the face of this mission as its media rep. Annie Montrose used him constantly, and he was constantly filming spots and transmitting them, even after they were marooned. Then four months ago, he basically stopped communicating. Now, he has a lot on his plate and his comms work about an hour a day if we're lucky right now, but his daily notes to Ares III have stopped, his daily notes to his parents are now weekly at best. No one else has noticed this except Annie, and she thinks it's because of his workload and the comm situation. I don't. I reviewed back to the time he withdrew. It started with a private channel message between he and you. Then there was a flurry to the crew of the Hermes, all private channel. Do you know how many times he used his private channel to talk to you guys before then?"

"Uh"

"None. None at all. Now he is withdrawn and if I had to guess, depressed. Now, I can't open that message, the encryption is personal at both ends, but I can ask Kapoor or Henderson to order you to, and they will see it as well. I imagine you might be scrubbed after that, perhaps the entire crew. Am I wrong about that?"

"Please, no, please... don't. We all want to...we're the best crew for it and we left them there. Don't do that."

"My first duty is to the safety of the crew. I don't have to tell anyone or ask anyone to order anything. But I need to know, for Mark's sake. What is going on with you two?"

"Uh..."

"You're a couple?"

"No... we"

"You were intimate, involved in some way? Sorry to ask but"

"Not on the mission, never. Look, when we were in Ascan, yeah, we were together. But I was a class ahead of him so it, well it wasn't even against the rules. And we were close, really, really close. Then I got named as sysop for Ares IV, that was still no problem until..."

"Until he was named as an alternate?"

"No. Until he was named to crew. When O'Brian withdrew, I mentioned him to Lewis. That's all I did, I told her he was a great guy and funny, and really smart and.."

"And she picked him because of you?"

"No, I don't think so. She had two choices, but Mark had a masters in engineering on top of his doctorate so it made him the best choice. Annie Montrose pushed hard for him too I understand. The night he was announced we broke it off. I was so happy for him, you know? But we couldn't be a couple and even train together, much less travel."

"But you continued to be anyway, didn't you?"

"No. I swear, nothing happened on Hermes or in training, totally professional, both of us."

"What about on planet?"

"No! Nothing there either, we were totally professional."

"So, Lewis learned about it? What am I missing?"

"I told the commander about my feelings..."

"So you still had romantic feelings?"

"Of course, have you ever been around Mark? But I told Commander Lewis just past proximity point. I thought I could cope with it, but I was particularly lonely and I was starting to get weak. I figured everything before then, well, there were no rule violations, but I knew if I told Mark how I was feeling, well, we would probably break a lot of rules. I thought Missy could help me. Give me advice."

"Did she?"

"She ordered, specifically ordered me to not act on how I felt. She wasn't mad, she understood. She told me to spend more time with Chris, Rick and Alex, and her for that matter to take my mind off things. She told me to write home more often and even keep a diary to help me sort through how I felt, and it did help. I was able to remain professional until.."

"Until you landed and could actually be alone together in the hab?"

"What? No... I stayed in control."

"Then what happened?"

"I saw Mark get stabbed by an antenna and blown away in the storm. He was evac partner. Alex and Lewis were together, and Rick and Chris. You pair off by physical size. Mark is the smallest guy, so he was my partner. We went last. He got hit... I watched the only man I had ever really loved die. I saw his monitor go dead on my HUD. When I started to search for him, the only guy I had ever felt anything real for, Lewis ordered me to the MAV. Our trajectory was off, and I cried all the way to space, and probably would have all the way to Hermes if Lewis hadn't contacted us and told us Mark was alive. I knew then I would do whatever it took to get him back from that horrible place. Whatever it took. And I wasn't going to hide anymore, I was going to live my best life."

"I see."

"Yeah. So, I wanted to tell him how I felt, but, well NASA monitors everything. Then Rick got a message from home on his private channel about his son and I mentioned that it must be weird for the monitors at NASA to know all about his private life. He reminded me that the private channel is encrypted and not monitored. So, I waited until I was on duty, it was just as they came up with Purnell and Orion, so I contacted Mark under the pretense of getting him and Lewis to go along with our plan to man the ship on the return trajectory. They both said no. Then I asked to speak to Mark privately and..."

"You told him."

"No, I was going to. Before I could he told me he wanted me to date Chris 'cause he thought he might die there and he wanted us to be happy and not have regrets. I had followed Lewis's order so well that Mark actually thought I had it for Chris and him for me! I thought he felt the same way I did, you know how you can tell from the way guys look at you? While I sent him the first part, about the crew, he had that look that said 'I wish I could kiss you.' I mean, I loved him, watched him die and couldn't do anything about it and he's stranded in a place with no breathable air, ground that is poisonous, a view that is just red desert and so cold. Horribly cold and desolate...Mars is what Dante had in mind... and.. he gets all noble about how he might not get off Mars and he wants me to date his best friend? I was furious. Well, to be honest, I didn't handle it well."

"Did you tell him how you feel?"

"In a way I suppose I did. I said, 'Fuck you Mark Watney, you're a pig.'... well, I yelled it then disconnected the message. I was crying so loud everyone else woke up and ran to the comm to see what was wrong. By the way, you might want to tell Annie she wants photos for posters of Alex wearing something tight, that's all I'm saying about that. I wouldn't take his messages for a while. Everyone on the crew chewed him out. That was the other messages you saw. Since then we've talked. We agreed to not talk about it all until we were face to face, and not to act on anything until we were on Earth. See, we both respect Commander Lewis, and the mission. We tried to follow the rules. I got weak, but even then, well, we didn't really break them. So that's why Mark and I aren't talking much, that and how much work they had to do, and the comm situation. But we're good now. We can make it work, we're both putting the mission first and"

"Relax. You're not scrubbed."

Beth's few minutes of mortal terror turned to relief so great her eyes filled with tears."

"Thanks, I promise you that"

"That you will be in my office every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 9 am to work on skills to help you cope? Yes, I'm sure that will be enough. Thanks for being honest with me."

"Thanks for not burning me."

"You're the best at what you do. We're going to learn to cope with your feelings and keep them contained and channeled into something productive. I have to ask, if you two called it off when crew training started for the mission, what caused your feelings to surface?"

"Oh, as we were approaching Proximity, I got a message that a family member, an aunt, died. Breast cancer, she had been in remission and it came back quick and"

"I'm so sorry Beth that must have been horrible, were you close?"

"No, I mean, I loved her but that wasn't it. Her and my mom are... were really close and it broke my heart I couldn't be there for mom. She understood, travel comes with the job, she actually said that to me. Anyway, I was feeling pretty emo anyway and I was just so sad I couldn't be there, and we were in the break room having dinner when I got the message and I just couldn't help it, I started crying and I couldn't stop. Mark put his arm around me and I cried on his shoulder, I must have cried a long time because I fell asleep, and when I woke up it was blue shift and Mark was still there holding me, stroking my hair and telling me it would be alright. I must have been asleep like that for four hours or so, but he never woke me, never stopped telling me it would be okay and it just,,, every word, every action, every breath, it felt like he was saying 'I love you Beth.' That's when I knew. A few days later I couldn't cope with not being with Mark, so I talked to Lewis. That's the whole story."

"I hope you and Mark make a great couple. I think you will. In fourteen months. Understand?"

"Yes. I... thanks again."

"You're welcome. Tomorrow is Wednesday. See you at nine."