A/N: Hello! So this is where all the 'problems' start so please, beware. R&R! Enjoy! 7
Chapter 6:
Lily POV:
I walked across the courtyard to my next class, holding my textbooks and notebooks to my chest. The bitter cold nipped at my skin, invading the warmth as my cheeks stung. The wind whipped at my face, blowing my hair back, messing it up. I walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts and took my normal seat. I sat down and copied the notes on the blackboard.
Halfway through, I felt someone sit next to me. With no doubt, I knew that it was James.
I peered up and we met eye contact for a few seconds, before I looked back at my notes. "Hi, Lily," He greeted, taking out his notebook.
"Hello, James. How are you?" I finished the last of my notes and set my quill down.
"I'm doing well, thank you, how about you?"
"Fine, thanks."
As he was writing down the notes, I heard a fit of giggled entering the room. I turned around and saw the same two girls walk in; the ones that were flirting with James. I rolled my eyes and sighed, exasperated, already with their girly actions.
"Everything alright?" James asked, dipping the tip of his quill into the ink before continuing the notes.
"Yeah." I sighed.
He knew that nothing was alright, but knew not to ask me any further.
The girls sat down, far away from where we sat. I was content with that; no distractions.
In the middle of class, James slipped me a note. I opened it and his tidy, slanted writing wrote:
Care to join me in Hogsmeade this evening?
I looked around to make sure nobody was watching and brought the quill to the paper and wrote:
That would be lovely.
I passed it back to James and he opened it. I looked at him in the corner of my eye and saw him smile the smallest bit.
He wrote back:
How's 5:30?
I nodded my head in agreement and slipped the paper inside my notebook.
When class finished, I took my things in hand and waited for James. He neatly stacked his papers and shoved them inside his notebook. He piled everything and gathered them in his arms. We walked out of the classroom and decided to sit down on a bench in the corridor.
"So, it's 5:30, right?" He asked.
"5:30," I confirmed with the nod of my head.
"Okay. I know a really nice café and I'm sure you'll enjoy it."
"I can't wait!"
"Me neither. I'll see you then!"
We waved each other goodbye and walked our separate directions to our next classes.
After all my classes were finished, I rushed back to my room, needing to get ready to meet with James.
I walked past my common room and into my dorm. I dropped my things by my bed and took my coat off, hanging it beside the door. I took the books out of my bag and set them on my desk. I had to get as much homework done as possible. I don't want anything big hanging over my head over the hangout.
I finished all my Astronomy and Potions homework. I just had a little more to do. I checked the time and saw that it was 4:00. Perfect. I could take a shower and get ready in a knick of time.
I stripped and took a shower, relaxing my tensed muscles from the past week as the hot water rushed down my body.
When I was done, I wrapped myself in a towel and put on black slacks and an emerald green flowing top, which matched my eyes. I towel dried my hair and put it into a braid. Before I left at 5:00, I grabbed some galleons from my bag and tucked them into my coat pocket. I tugged on a scarf and slipped on my gloves and boots, then walked out.
20 minutes later, I was in Hogsmeade. I was walking about the shops, looking into the windows, wandering about.
"Lily!"
I snapped my head to where I thought I heard the voice coming from.
"I'm over here!" The voice said again.
I turned to my right, but saw nothing.
"Seriously, Lily! I'm right here!"
I turned around in such a rush that I felt light headed. I tried to steady myself, and was about to fall, but I felt a strong hand hold me up.
"Thank you!" I exclaimed.
I looked next to me to see that it was James that was holding me. The corners of his bright pink lips turned up in the corners. "Hahaha. You're welcome."
We walked into the nearest café. We ordered whatever we wanted and sat down. We were quiet for a few minutes until I felt his eyes staring at me. I looked up from my tea and met my green eyes with his chocolate brown ones. "Yes?" I laughed.
He just merely smiled. "Lily, why did you want to hang out with me when you're dating Severus? I mean, I don't mean it like you're cheating on him, but does he know about this?"
Uh-oh. "Um . . . "what to say? I don't want to lie to him, but I'm scared he's going to judge me. I decided to tell him the truth. "Okay. You can't tell anyone this. Understood?"
He nodded his head quickly.
"Okay. Snape told me he had feelings for me and we were really good friends. I didn't want to break his heart and make him feel bad, so I told him I felt the same. He thinks that I really do love him but it would kill me inside to see him upset. He's like my brother and it's just awkward." I blurted.
James nodded his head and looked down at his tea. "I have to tell you something. I was scared to tell you this when I found out that you and Severus were going out. But now that you told me all of that, I think I'm ready: I'm in love with you. Now, I don't want to be blunt about it or anything. But I don't want to deny something that means so much to me and try to push those feelings away. I've always admired you . . . I really did and I still do. Love is a big thing in life and you can't just toss it around, and drop it into oblivion, like dropping a stone into the ocean. You're like that stone; I can't fall in love with you and then try to forget about you. It will never happen. Love is something precious and true love only comes once in your life. I don't care if you don't like me like that, but I just wanted to let you know."
"James, I really like you, too. That's the whole reason that I came here. I wanted to spend time with you. I feel really bad because Snape doesn't know about this, but I feel like I'm doing something for him. Those words mean a lot to me." I told him.
"So what does this mean? Are we going to date behind his back?"
"I have no idea. What if somebody sees us and tells everybody? It's going to come back to him some way."
"I know, but I really want to be with you," he pleaded.
"Okay. But we have to be very secretive." I whispered.
He leaned across the table and bowed his head. "I promise."
I bowed my head so we were at eye level. "Okay."
We both cracked up at how ridiculous we were being.
We talked and laughed until the café closed down. "Good evening, I just wanted to say that we're closing down," and old man said. He had grey hair that was starting to bald and had a hunched back. "Take your time. I might presume that you two are a couple?"
James and I looked at each other, not knowing what to say.
"You two look lovely together. Best wishes." And he walked away.
We decided to take our time and continue our conversation about how ridiculous some professors are and what we hope to do with our future.
When it was very late, we decided it was best to go back.
We got up and put on our coats, gloves and scarves. We got up and hugged before joining hands and walking out into the cold night.
When we got home, we went our separate ways. Halfway to my room, I decided to go check up on Severus.
I walked through his common room and knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. No answer. I opened the door not only to see Snape with pure hatred burning in his brown eyes. His chest rising and falling rapidly, his nostrils flaring. His hands were clenched, his nails digging into his palms.
"Severus, what's wrong?" I asked quietly, scared of what he might say.
"What do you mean 'what's wrong'?" he barked; the volume of his voice igniting the flames of anger in his eyes.
"Why are you upset?" I was praying that he wouldn't say what he was going to say.
"Oh! Why am I upset?! Tell me; where were you earlier before you came here?"
"I was at Hogsmeade."
"With who?" He encouraged with a smirk, his voice quieter, yet the frustration and anger still evident.
"Why do you want to know?" I challenged.
"BLOODY HELL! TELL ME WHO THE HELL YOU WERE WITH!" He snapped.
"I was with James Potter," I replied, immensely intimidated.
He began to pace back and forth, occasionally running a hand through his untamed hair, sticking up in different directions.
"God. Why would you do this?!" he exclaimed.
"I-I-Severus, I . . . "I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want to hurt him anymore than how hurt he was then.
"What?" He asked, impatiently.
"I was never really in love with you. I just told you I loved you because I didn't want to make you upset. I only like you like a brother. Nothing more. I'm so sorry." I said, all in a rush. My nose and throat burned as tears pricked my eyes. I didn't want to take pity on myself, but I was so upset with the way I acted.
His eyes clouded with fury, turning into a pitch black. His breathing became more erratic. "Why would you lie to me?! You could have told me that you didn't like me like that. Now I'm hurt and this just makes it worse."
"I know. I'm so sorry. I don't know what was going through my mind. I really am sorry. I know that won't cut it, but I don't know what will." I apologized.
He spun around on his heel and walked towards the window. He started outside and without looking at me, he said in a strangely calm voice, "Please leave."
I knew I shouldn't mess with him. I turned around and briskly walked out. The pace began to pick up and I began to run. I flung open the door to my common room and dashed up the stairs into my room. I shut and locked the door and flung myself on my bed, sobbing into the pillow.
I'm such an idiot. I should have told him. Stupid. That's what I am; stupid. Now we aren't going to even be friends anymore. I ruined everything. Wait, who cares about me? What about Snape? He's probably hurting more than ever. Look at what I did. I made a mess, something permanent. Like a storm taking away precious belongings. I'll never get them back.
