...
Ok, I changed the timeline around a little in order to make something work.
Which means I took a little bit longer to write this.
But to clarify, Jamie just turned 17.
I also changed the wrestling scene in Chapter 1, because it didn't fit well to me.
A scene that shows better in film than in writing I guess.
But still, here's a new one!
Hope you like it ^-^
He's My Guardian
I found myself doing it again.
I lay there in bed spacing out into the patterns the shadows on my ceiling created. It was late and another day had gone by where I haven't seen him. My mind was wracked with guilt and fear that I had pushed him away again. It had been several months since I had kissed him, and he hasn't brought what happened up once. And at first, I thought I was just imagining it, but his visits haven't been as frequent. After the first few weeks, I realized it was because he had stopped coming to my window. The only times I ever saw him were outside or in the woods. I felt as though he was avoiding me…
I sighed and folded my hands underneath my head. He has to be avoiding me, I thought, there's no other explanation for it. I fucked everything up-
A soft knock on my bedroom door pulled me out of my thoughts. A second later, my mom gently pushed open the door and stepped into my room.
"Hi baby," she said gently after recognizing my melancholy, "I don't mean to butt in, but there is something I've been needing to talk to you about."
"What?" I said dully, my lack of interest weighing heavy on my tone. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to my mom right then, but I knew it would be rude to tell her to leave.
"It's about Sophie…" she started to say but paused after hearing me exhale and seeing me purse my lips. "Look, Jamie. Dr. Thatcher is concerned. She told me that last session, Sophie admitted that you were encouraging her dependence on her friends," she said emphasizing the last word.
I snorted cynically at her use of that word. I knew by friends she meant the Guardians. Ever since Sophie had seen Jack, her belief in the Guardians was as strong as ever despite her turning thirteen. Her insistence and anecdotes first drew the attention of her classmates, who started making fun of her during school. Sophie's rational response was to then beat the weasels up.
So that eventually drew the attention of her teachers and school psychologist, who suggested to my mother that she seek therapy for Sophie. I'm fairly certain that she's on the watch list for schizophrenia now.
"Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this?" I sharply argued as I pushed myself up into a seated position on my bed. "It's not like she's hurting anyone."
"She is, Jamie. She's getting into fights because of it-"
"That's because of the other kids! They're making fun of her! To me that sounds like they're the ones in the wrong here, not Sophie," I insisted growing more heated.
"Jamie…" my mom started to say but paused and clenched her jaw as she considered how to frame her thoughts. "Jamie," she repeated as she sat down on the edge of my bed, "It's one thing for kids to have imaginary friends. It's another when they put the imaginary friends before their real friends. This is affecting her grades, her friendships, and I'm sure you've noticed that she's not as happy as before."
That caused me pause. I broke eye contact with my mother and stared at something behind her. It was true that everything she said has been stressing Sophie out a lot. But Sophie always needing to be right about everything definitely wasn't helping her case at all.
My mother started to talk again, "I'm just asking you not to encourage her if she talks to you about them, alright? Just…gently remind her that she should be focusing on her friends. On people everyone can see…alright?"
After rubbing my lips together and inhaling deeply, I gave in. "Alright," I said in a low tone.
"Thank you, Jamie," my mother said as she stood up. "Now you should probably get ready for bed," she added.
"Yeah…I know," I responded quietly. Normally I would be annoyed when she reminded me to do things I was already about to do. But our previous conversation had suddenly left me feeling…empty.
"Alright, good-night," she said before leaning down to kiss the top of my head.
"Night, mom," I replied.
She smiled down at me and lovingly caressed the back of my head before turning to leave my room.
But I begrudgingly chose not to get ready for bed yet. Instead, I slunk back down to lie flat and continued staring up at my ceiling.
I did need to talk to Sophie, but maybe not in the way my mom wanted. Because I knew she wasn't imagining the Guardians. I knew she wasn't defending mere hallucinations.
However, I thought, I do need to tell her to keep her mouth shut. It isn't worth getting in trouble or being misdiagnosed for. I mean…I believe in them too. But I don't blab to everyone I know about them.
But what my mom said slowly bore into me. That my sister should be focusing on friends other people can see…
No…I'm not abandoning my friends for Jack. I've actually made a lot of friends this last semester. It's different…
Then I started thinking about Jack avoiding me again. I should never have been so bold with him… I just… I just believed so much that he wanted to get closer to me. But…maybe not in the way I wanted.
Gah, I groaned while laying an arm over my eyes, I took what Monty said too quickly and ran with it. I should have just let things stay the way they were… At least then he wouldn't be afraid to come visit me.
Enough was enough. I quickly stood up and walked over to my dresser to change out of my jeans. If Jack doesn't want to talk about it, then I won't bring it up. I'll just have to be satisfied with seeing him once in a while like I have been.
Collapsing back into my bed, I slid myself under the covers and pulled them over me. I turned onto my side and grabbed my other pillow to hug it against my chest before closing my eyes to settle into sleep. I just…have to control my thoughts a little. Stop thinking about him like that. Focus on my own life…
…
…
"I'm SO glad you convinced us to come here," Monty stated as he collapsed onto the bench next to me breathing a little heavy from exertion. "I forgot we would always spend your birthday outside since you were always lucky to get enough snow on it."
I snorted quietly at his reasoning. It seemed Monty had forgotten all about Jack as well. It never made sense to me that such memories would simply disappear like that. But after learning Pippa could no longer see Jack, I paid attention and asked her questions about him. It seemed like she didn't forget him entirely. More like rationalized him out of her former belief. She still could recall details about his personality that only we could know about, but she always recalled it as if we had just been playing pretend as kids.
It still didn't explain why my mind hadn't done the same thing, though.
I looked up to see Ashley teaching Cupcake how to snowboard. Monty and I had already had our turn and needed a rest. They'd probably have to go home soon and change. Unlike me, they hadn't worn the right clothing to fall down in the snow all afternoon.
"It's really cool that Ash had two snowboards at home," I commented leaning back against the bench.
"Yeah," Monty breathed, a cloud escaping his mouth. "The boots are probably a little big for Cupcake though."
"Mm…" I nodded in agreement.
We sat there in silence and laughed a little at Cupcake's effort. She had never gone skiing or snowboarding before, so it's not like we expected her to do well on the first go. But it was hard to resist the sight of someone tumbling down a hill. However, she caught on surprisingly quickly for someone with so little experience.
"Hey, Monty…" I started to say, but paused after losing the courage to ask what I had been wanting to know for the last month and a half.
"What's up?" he asked while turning his body to more easily look at me.
I stared down at my hands and cracked my thumbs as I fought against the urge to change the subject. But my curiosity got the better of me, "Cupcake said a while ago that you had a bit of a crush on Ash….Does he know?"
Monty smiled and asked, "What? That I'm gay or that I like him?"
"Both, I guess?" I said moving to sit on my hands so I could stop fidgeting and turned my head to look over at him.
"Ah yeah, you kind of disappeared after you left to go to St. Peter's," he said referencing my old school. I bit my lip feeling a little guilty that I had unintentionally lost touch with all of them.
But he continued, "Well…in my freshman year of high school, I came out to most people I knew." He let out a small laugh before adding, "Actually, I kind of went through a phase where I tried to be super obvious about it. Like wearing rainbow clothes and crap. I even died my hair blue."
That mental image made me let out a laugh. "Oh man, you'll have to show me pictures of that," I said.
He chuckled a little and promised, "Yeah, yeah. I will. But yeah," he continued getting back on track, "Ashley knows. He doesn't care. I was afraid of being alienated at first, but he was really supportive. In fact, in our freshman year gym class, I would, like, wear these tiny shorts and a tank-top. Again," he added as subtext after he heard me laugh, "it was my funny little fashion phase. But anyway, Ashley ended up convincing most of our class to dress like that for the last couple weeks of school. Confused the crap out of Mr. Perkins," he said chuckling and referencing the overweight gym teacher.
"Oh my God," I said smiling as I pictured the bewildered expression on Mr. Perkins's face at seeing an entire gym of boys inexplicably dressed like they popped out of the 1960's. "That's really cool of Ashley, though," I added a little impressed at his ability to rally people like that.
"Yeah…he's a really cool guy," Monty added with a halfhearted smile as he looked out at the hill where Ashley was teaching Cupcake.
"So…he knows you like him, then?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if I was prying too much.
"Hm?" Monty said snapping back to the conversation. "Yeah, I mean, I guess. I jokingly flirt with him and stuff, but he's straight. So…it's not like you can force someone to be into you, you know?" he admitted logically.
"Yeah…" I said as I trailed off into my own thoughts.
"Why'd you want to know?" he asked me casually.
"I…guess I was just wondering," I said gazing up into the sky and squinting as the sun had just peeked out behind a cloud.
"Ah…alright," he said slowly before shrugging his shoulders. "But yeah, I guess the best I can do is put myself out there and…if something works out, it works out," he said with a more upbeat attitude. "Hopefully my chances will get better once I get out of this tiny town," he added wryly.
I smiled at his comment. Burgess was pretty small, which was why I had to travel so far to go to the other school.
However, I felt better after talking to Monty. I admired him a lot more for having admitted all that to me. He had grown up to be a lot bolder than I would have thought. And…he put himself out there, and yeah, it didn't work out probably how he wanted. But at least he tried. He actually had a pretty cool perspective about things…
"Come on," Monty said as he stood up, "Let's see if they'll trade us now."
…
…
At first I thought it was just in my dream. I thought there was a bird trapped in my room somewhere. But after I finally opened my eyes and woke up, I realized it was coming from my window.
There was a rapid tapping on the glass and after a moment of disorientation, I saw moonlight shining into my room and Jack hovering just outside the glass.
I shoved the covers off of me and walked barefoot across the cold floor to unlock my window.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked pulling open the panels and moving aside to let him through. He's never shown up at my window in the middle of the night before.
"I…uh…" he said as he swung himself inside. He had his hood up and appeared a little nervous, which was unlike him. "I'm sorry to wake you up," he admitted while leaning on his staff.
"Is something wrong?" I asked growing concerned. He's never woken me up like this and his behavior was unusual.
"Not really, it's just…There's something I've been needing to tell you," he said straightening up to his full height and removing his hood before looking at me with an uncharacteristically serious expression.
Oh no…I thought as I felt my whole body stiffen. It's about what I did...I went too far and it wasn't my place to …
"I…won't be able to come visit you for a while," he said in a low tone while diverting his gaze to a point on the floor.
I knew it…I pushed him away… Just when I thought I got what I had wanted… Just when I finally had my Guardian back…
"J-Just for the summer!" he added after seeing what must have been the most dismal expression on my face.
I quickly looked up at him and asked, "What?"
"I'm sorry…" he said growing serious again. "I should have told you months ago. But I'm not able to come visit you during the summer."
"Why not?" I asked.
He took on that frustrated look he would get whenever I asked him questions about himself that he never had to explain before. "Because…I'm a winter spirit, Jamie. I go wherever winter is," he said making me feel like an idiot.
"Well…I mean…you can't just stop by once in a while?" I asked feeling as though he was just looking for excuses to avoid me.
He sighed and continued exasperated, "No, I…you see…I can only fly on cold currents. When it gets too warm, it's like the air forces me away."
"Oh…" I murmured while mentally kicking myself for assuming something so self-centered. "So…you won't be back until, like, November?"
He pressed his lips together uncertainly as he said, "Mmm…it's hard to say kiddo. I don't control when the seasons shift, I just travel along with them. But here in Burgess…yeah…usually late November or early December."
I nodded my head and avoided his gaze. He's going to leave for months without even mentioning-
"Hey," he said kindly as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I promise I'll come back. I think I'd miss you too much otherwise," he admitted honestly, which, caused my heart to leap.
I looked back into his eyes and felt the corner of my mouth pull up into a half-smile.
"Just one condition," he continued placing his hand on his hip and looking at me with that mischievous twinkle in his eye.
"And what's that?" I asked suspiciously, but even I could still hear the disappointment in my voice.
"Look, Jamie," he said, "I know you're really lame and everything without me around- ow," he laughed after I lightly punched him on the shoulder. "But just…promise me that you'll have fun messing around and doing whatever stupid things kids your age normally do…alright?" he asked looking up at me expectantly.
It took me a moment to answer because I found myself getting lost in his eyes again. In certain kinds light, it almost looked as though I could see his frost patterns embedded among the blue…
"Jamie?" he asked breaking me out of my trance.
"What?" I started as I came back to attention. "Uh...yeah…sure. I promise."
"Good," he said as smiling at me before turning towards the window.
"Jack, wait…" I said reaching out to grab onto his forearm. He turned his body back towards me with the moonlight illuminating his features, which were looking at me a little surprised. "I… …Do you have to leave right now?"
He nodded sullenly, "Yeah…I didn't realize spring was coming so early. It actually took me twice as long as it normally does to get here…"
Suddenly a new worry came to my mind. "Well, what if…What if I forget about you while you're gone?" I asked him.
He smirked at me and replied confidently, "You won't."
My eyebrows came together at his sudden assuredness. Before he always seemed afraid that I would forget about him or get angry at him so much that I would force myself to forget about him.
"What makes you say that?" I asked him skeptically.
He shrugged his shoulders and declared, "Because if you were to forget, you would have forgotten by now. And…you were the last light. My first light." He smiled warmly at me, which only caused me to return the gesture.
Half a minute went by where we didn't say anything to one another, and part of me hoped he had decided to stay longer; however, he broke the silence and stated, "Look…Jamie. I'm your Guardian. I'm here to make you happy and make some of your winter days a little more fun. But in the end...I want you to have a normal life…"
Oh...low blow. He wants me to be normal...And at that moment, I felt the most abnormal I had ever felt in my life. Urggh…I'm such an idiot, I internally chastised myself. He's my Guardian. That's all he wants to be.
"Try not to be lame, ok?" he pleaded trying to provoke me into getting annoyed at him again.
I gave him a halfhearted smile and nodded my head in response.
He turned and raised his foot to step onto the windowsill. But before he stood up on it, he quickly changed his mind and wheeled around to face me. Very briskly he leaned in and pressed his lips to the tip my nose.
"ARgh!" I jolted as his lips felt painfully cold against my skin so much it burned.
I raised a hand to rub my skin as he pulled away grinning widely. He winked once at me before briskly hopping onto the sill and blowing away in the wind.
I stood there stunned for a second not sure what just happened. And then I realized…
The little cretin just nipped my nose!
Please review if you're still enjoying it!
What will Jamie do over the summer? And why's Jack being so cold? (pun intended)
More motivation = promptly posted chapters ;D
