A/N: So, once again, minimal action in the Barnacle section in this chapter. (darn me and my lack of Barney Stinson! :O) But I kind of felt like Robin and Lily were being neglected a little. D: And we can't shirk the girls of the group, now can we? Anyway, I got some wonderful reviews from some wonderful reviewers! So, i'll give another shout out! (Yay! You know, if you review, I might say something fun to you too! :P)

Uncharacteristically-Feminine: Aww... you know what, I've been writing this for so long now, I'd completely forgotten that I'd started out with the little nephew (which i've decided I need to reintroduce... watch this space for some adorable kid action with Barney and Scooter...) And omigosh, now that you've reminded me *squee*...when I found out that NPH and David Burtka were having twins, I had some sort of reverse heart attack or something and was on a baby high for like two weeks. I actually couldn't function. I totally cannot wait for the Harris-Burtka kids to make an appearance in this world! It's gonna be legen- wait for it- dary! (And by god, NPH is just the cutest around kids. Anyone seen his Elmo interview? Possibly the cutest thing ever. 3 Youtube it if you haven't. )

HIMYMGleek: well hello there, I trust by your name you're a fellow HIMYM fan and Gleek! Hoorah! What an excellent combination. Anyway, Barney will reveal in good time the hows and whats and wheres and whys of this new relationship he's put together. (He always does! ;) )Do not fret! xD

Jexi0322: I am very happy you liked my David Burtka references. :):):) He totally doesn't look like a Bill. He looks like a David! ...His parents named him well. I give them the stamp of approval! I thought it might come across as a little lame because I'm always dropping names in stories and it's geeky. But I'm glad you and HIMYMGleek don't think so! :D

Kids, by the looks on your faces, I think I'd be correct in thinking that you feel precisely as we did about this new development between Barney and Lily's ex. Shocked just isn't the word for it. In fact, I'm not even sure there is a word that exists which could appropriately describe our reaction to their newfound coupledom (if we could even call it that.)

Now, Marshall and I were willing thus far to remain skeptical from afar. But Lily and Robin? A completely different matter altogether. You know Aunt Lily. She has that habit of getting into people's business like… well, like it's her business. Only this time, she had every right to believe it was her business. Scooter was her ex boyfriend who stalked her on a daily basis. Everywhere. She might even go so far as to say there was something psychologically wrong with him.

"So what d'you think about this new Barney and Scooter thing?" Robin inquired of Lily later at Lily and Marshall's apartment. (Marshall and I were out at that point putting together our own theories and opinions about the situation.) "D'you think it's real?"

Lily rolled her eyes with a snort. "Sure. As real as my kindergarteners' imaginary friends! There's no way that whatever Barney is doing here is genuine."

"So what are you going to do?" Robin asked, crossing her arms after slumping down into a chair in the cozy livingroom.

Lily shrugged. "God- who knows? A part of me wants to let Barney get away with it just because it's nice to have Scooter not fawning over me for the first time in weeks. Plus, it's kinda nice not having to deal with Barney's sexist innuendos. I mean, he's so immature!"

"But…" Robin encouraged knowingly.

"But it kills me to see Barney using him like that. I mean, Barney just sees this as a game and will carry this on for a long as possible just to prove a point. Once Barney cuts him down, he'll be down and I can't bare to imagine that," Lily explained, slumping down into a chair across from Robin and crossing one leg over the other.

"Well, maybe by some weird twist of fate, Barney does develop feelings for him. Maybe it won't be so bad." Robin shrugged, keeping open minded. It gives me a little pride knowing I'd coaxed your Aunt Robin onto my side. Marshall and Lily were another matter altogether. After all, they knew Scooter and what he was capable of. But on the flip side, we all knew Barney and what he was capable of. And he was capable of a thousand times more than Scooter. All just as potentially destructive as each other.

"We should follow them," Lily gasped suddenly, practically leaping out of her seat as if she'd sat on a tack.

"What?"

"Yes! That's what we should do! We should follow them!" Lily went on, gesturing wildly with her hands. "That way we'll know whether Barney's faking it because he'll only fake it around us!"

Robin thought this over, weighing the pros and cons. "Okay… Barney should be on his lunch break in fifteen minutes. That gives us enough time to get down to his work and follow him out."

"Okay!"

~.~.~.~.~

"Oh… look look look! There he is!" Lily exclaimed, pointing eratically out the window of the taxi they'd hailed. And there Barney was, exiting his building with the look of a mission on his face, taking the stairs one at a time. The girls piled out of the cab.

"We can't let him see us!" Lily gasped, ducking behind a postbox before them. Robin followed her lead with an oblivious oh. You know how Aunt Robin can get about schemes. Never any good at lies… could never keep cool… Yeah, she and Marshall could never pull off a scheme like Barney, Lily and I could. Yeah, kids. I can pull off schemes just as well as Barney and Lily. Totally.

"He's on his phone…" Lily whispered, turning her head to address Robin. And that he was.

"Yeah… No, I ordered two not three," were the words they caught as he passed them by without so much as a second glance, so focused was he on the matter at hand. "Yeah. I'm always in need of more ties. And be sure to wrap them nicely. They're a present for someone. Yeah. Okay. Just… take another look at them and be sure they match perfectly with the suits. Yes. Okay. Thanks, Guillermo, You're a lifesaver. Bye."

"He's buying him suits!" Robin gasped. "Why is he buying him suits?"

"I don't know but lets follow him!" Lily exclaimed, swiftly slinking out of their hiding place and down the street, keeping a safe distance between herself and Barney. Robin kept close, feeling particularly vulnerable to anyone who might see them, looking suspicious and such.

They followed him into a nearby restaurant, a quaint little teahouse you didn't oft see in New York. Ironic, really- teahouses just weren't Barney's cup of tea. (Yes, you have permission to laugh. Your ol' man can be funny sometimes.)

A waitress shuffled around the very British looking cluster of cramped wooden tables to greet him. They vaguely heard him explain that he had a friend already there. Without a single snide comment or eyeing up of her breasts (which I later heard from Robin were perky enough to deserve Barney's ogling.)Lily frowned, passing through the open front door to the tea shop.

The waitress turned to her as soon as Barney rounded the corner. Robin craned her neck to watch him go. "Table for two?" the pretty blond waitress inquired with an absent little flip of her ponytail as she stopped before them.

"Uh… yeah," Lily began in her oh so terrible, cringe-worthy fake British accent. "I'm Bri'ish, innit. Thort I'd come in 'ere for a bit o' home, like. I do miss the countryside, righ'? And a spot o' tea. We Brits just lauve or tea, innit love?" she turned abruptly to Robin, gesturing for her to roll with it.

Robin frowned with a shake of her head. "For two," she confirmed with a concise nod. "And… preferably by the gentleman that just came in. But not so close that he can see us. But still close enough for us to hear what he's saying."

They received a skeptical look from the waitress- a look that clearly said that he thought them both bananas. "Right." She furrowed her brow before leading them in.

"Oh my gosh!" Lily gasped as soon as they were seated and they'd relocated Barney, who sat three tables ahead of them and two tables over. Robin followed her gaze to find him sitting with a man. Not just any man. Scooter. Of course. And once more, they were holding hands over the table, leaning so far forward, their noses could have been touching. They were listening to one another so quietly, straining their ears wasn't enough for Lily and Robin.

"I dunno about you, but that looks pretty genuine," Robin murmured matter of factly from behind her menu, which did a wonderful job in obscuring her face.

"Oh… woah…" Lily gasped as she turned back to the couple, who had at that moment locked themselves in a fierce make out session. "Holy…" She furrowed her brow, watching the dart of tongues with an almost reverent curiosity. "Does he always kiss like that?"

Robin shrugged, lowering her menu a little. "Eh. Pretty much."

"Get a good look at him, Robin," Lily whispered conspiratorially to her. "Does that hot and heavy make out session look real? Is he putting passion into that?"

Robin squinted, leaning too far forward to seem natural. "Looks pretty… genuine," she frowned, losing balance in her chair and toppling to the floor after a frenzied flail of arms and the infamous Scherbatsky yelp.

Barney and Scooter pulled out of their intense kiss at the commotion. Scooter's eyes darted to the woman on the floor while Barney smirked in amusement. Scooter's face fell.

"Lily?"

A/N: I do believe I cliff hangered up! ;) This chapter was gonna be longer but I only have so much in me right now and I have studying to do. .' And let's face it? Who can resist a cliffy? :P