Cat's POV

"We've done very well today. We may be finished sooner than expected at this rate, but since we went longer than planned today, I think we should skip the session tomorrow and pick up again on Wednesday. We need to gather our strength back up. Hank and I will go through the footage we've recorded so far and make sure everything's working properly. Now, let's get some dinner. They should be out of the Danger Room by now. Yep, and Logan's been hovering outside the doors." The Professor and Hank were very happy about the first session of recording my memories; we'd made it all the way up to the time after Logan got the adamantium. That's a lot of years to cover in just a few hours.

"Great. I really don't want to deal with him again today."

"I know you don't but I think we need to explain to him what's going on here. He's going to be more affected by this project than even Gambit."

"Look, Professor, I know that, I do, but… Thinking about it, he'll only get a portion of what his life was like… and even that's only through my eyes. I don't know what to do about his time and memories after Alkali Lake. I think Gambit knows about that… I think he was there."

"What makes you think that?" I looked at Beast. I've discovered that I like the blue fuzzy mutant. He looks ferocious but he's totally not. Ok, I've never seen him mad… but most of the time he reminds me of a very intelligent, cuddly, blue teddy bear.

"Something Sabertooth said when we crossed paths in New Orleans. He also said something that pertains to Logan. I don't know if he's already remembered but…" I looked down at the ground before continuing mentally. Kayla's dead. I don't know why, but I felt my eyes fill with tears.

I'm sorry, Cat.

"Don't, she wasn't my friend. She wasn't even nice to me. You saw how she treated me. I'm not crying for her death… just how Logan must have felt when she died in his arms. I'm hungry. I think I'm goin' t' grab something from the kitchen and then go to bed. Night."

"Night." Hank and Xavier called after me.

As I walked out the doors I was met with a very agitated Wolverine. "What's wrong? Why were you in there with them? Are you feeling alright?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. And as to what we're doing… well we kind of should talk about it I guess. But not here; meet in my room a little later. No, I'm not going to argue with you. I'm too tired for that." I never once looked him in the eye. I walked upstairs, grabbed a plate of food and a beer and went to my room. Once there I just sat on the floor, I ate my food and finished off the beer not really paying attention to anything around me. I took a shower and didn't even bother getting dressed before I crashed onto the bed. I heard a faint knock on the door. "Come in." I didn't even bother to look at the door when it opened. For some reason the ceiling was a lot more interesting.

"Cat? Do you often sit in the dark?" Logan walked in noting the fact that I hadn't even bothered to turn my lights on.

"Not generally, but I'm in one of those moods where it seems appropriate. You can turn them on if you like." I replied, still staring at the ceiling. I could tell he was making his way towards the bed and I didn't even bother moving. I was so tired and completely out of it.

"What's wrong, Cat?" His voice was so full of concern that I had to look at him.

"I've just spent the past several hours reliving my life all the way up until you got your adamantium. I'm spent." I said locking my gaze back on the ceiling. Tears spilling out of my eyes and running down the sides of my face; I'm a complete mess.

Logan's POV

I didn't know what she and the Professor had been up to in the med lab; all I knew is that she was shutting down. She was starting to close herself off from the world and begin to feel nothing. I couldn't let that happen. Not now that I was beginning to feel something for her… or realizing that I've always had feelings for her… even while we were at Alkali Lake. She was crying. At least that was a sign that she was still feeling something. I began to climb onto the bed. I finally notice that she wasn't wearing anything but a towel. Her auburn hair was wet and sticking to her face and the pillow. I pulled the blankets around her and curled up next to her. I pulled her into me. She didn't fight. She didn't struggle. Instead she moved so that we were spooning. Even sensing her hormones wouldn't keep me from wanting to comfort her. Suddenly the door opened and Rogue and Gambit walked in. Gambit turned on the light which resulted in a moan from the woman in my arms.

"Turn it off." Cat said.

"What is goin' on in here?" Gambit was a little upset.

"Shut up, Remy. Just leave us alone, please." I was surprised that Cat said 'leave us alone' and that she'd said it to Gambit.

He was going to object but Rogue pulled him out the door.

"Cat, what were you doing in the med lab?" I asked hoping that I would get an answer.

She flipped over so we were looking into each other's eyes. "The Professor is recording my memories onto a disc."

"Why?" I was wiping her tears away and she wasn't stopping me. In fact she grabbed my hand and held it against her cheek. She stayed that way for awhile. I wasn't even sure she would answer me. She sat up, making sure the towel stayed in place. I watched her face as a dozen emotions played across her features. She finally got up from the bed. She rummaged through her drawers for something. I watched her walk into the bathroom. I'd sat up when she did and was getting ready to start pacing in front of the bathroom door when she finally emerged. She was wearing a well-worn, black t-shirt (it kind of looked like one of mine) and a pair of black, cut-off sweat shorts. She still looked detached. "Why is the Professor recording your memories?" I asked again. My mind was thinking the worst. Was she doing it for me or Gambit? Was she doing it so he could then erase her memories? Was she leaving? Or worse, was she dying? Those were the questions that were running through my mind the entire time she was in the bathroom.

"It'll be a lot easier on me if you guys watch my memories instead of me trying to explain them. Especially after I'm gone."

"Gone?" In that context it could be taken so many different ways.

"I can't stay here. Not when there are people who don't want me here. I've told Xavier that I'm leaving once Omega Red is stopped. That's been the plan all along. Nothing changes that. Logan, please leave. I can't stand being in the same room with you right now. Every part of me just wants to feel you, to touch you, but I can't allow that. I can't allow myself to…" I had stood up at some point during her speech. I pulled her to me and just held her. She tensed up at first but then slowly relaxed. I held her face between my hands and kissed her. She responded instantly but only for a brief moment. I broke away when she shoved me and when I looked into her eyes I hated myself. They were deep sapphire but she was sad. I had done the one thing she didn't want me to do. I stepped back, kissed her on the forehead, and left the room. I stood with my back on the door as I heard her sobs. She muffled them into a pillow but I could still hear them. I'd hurt her again. Maybe it was best for her if she left. I vowed then and there, that she would leave once Omega Red was stopped. I wasn't going to hold her here. I was pretty sure that not even Gambit could convince her to stay anymore. If she wanted to leave, I wasn't going to stop her.

Cat's POV

It had been a rough week. I had relived my past… all of it within just a few days. Kitty and Bobby had been tracking Omega Red and he'd been found at Niagara Falls in Canada. We'd headed out a few hours after his last spotting. That's what brought me here. I was standing on a rock overlooking the majestic falls. It was sunset and the person standing next to me was Scott. It wasn't who I wanted it to be, but then I hadn't spoken to or really seen Logan at all since that night in the bedroom. I pretended like it didn't hurt to see him avoiding me, then I started avoiding him after the pain got too much.

"Would you stay if I asked you?" Scott's question broke me from my thoughts.

"No." I didn't hesitate. I've made up my mind: I'm leaving once Omega Red is stopped. Not even Remy could convince me to stay.

"I wish you'd give up on him. He's never going to come around. It's just not in his nature to feel that way about someone."

"You're wrong, Scott. He has felt that way about someone before. Maybe if I hadn't met him after he thought she was dead… maybe had she actually been dead… who knows? I wish I could give up on him, Scott, I really do… But it's just not going to happen. I wish there was more I could do to make him see me for who I am; I wish there was more I could say… but I know that there's nothing. I give up on trying to make him see me, but I just can't give up on loving him. Would you have given up on Jean? If you were me and it was Jean… would you have given up on her?" That made him realize the situation. I knew the answer he gave before he'd given it.

"No, I wouldn't have."

"I want this all to be over with. The farther away from Logan I am… maybe I'll be able to breathe a little easier without his scent all over the place acting as a constant reminder of what I will never have."

"I really wish you'd stay but I understand why you won't." And with that he left me alone with my thoughts. I wasn't alone long though. "Omega Red." I hissed.

"It's nice to see you again, too, Catarina." His voice alone was enough to send chills up my spine.

Professor, he's here and he's found me. I faced him, claws out, eyes red. The temperature was dropping. It was the first thing I knew to do. Suddenly the temperature was drastically colder, the falls were even freezing. Storm. It wasn't soon enough, though. Omega Red had his tentacles around me and shocking me before I could react. The pain and the cold were too much and I cried out in pain before ending up on the ground, only half conscious.

"Iceman, don't!"

"It's the only way, Shadowcat!"

"No, we'll think of something else! I won't lose another X-Men."

"There's no time, Cyclops. Let me do this. It's the only way."

Their voices were faint. I was slipping in and out of reality. I was so cold and still reeling from the shocks I'd received from Omega Red. All I could gather was that Bobby was going to do something that meant he wasn't coming back. I watched, frozen, as Iceman jumped on the back of Omega Red and began to freeze him. "NO!" It was all I could do. I couldn't move, I could barely even breathe. The last thing I remember seeing was Iceman and Omega Red frozen together and being lifted into a helicopter. Bobby wasn't coming back. He was, for the most part, dead. The temperature began to slowly climb back to normal, but I still wasn't moving. I felt arms lift me up and at first I tensed but then the warm scent of my brother filled my senses and I relaxed. I could sense Logan right next to Remy, watching my every move but I didn't even begin to acknowledge him. We made it back to the mansion… all of us were shaken up. We were a team member short. I had finally healed enough to where I was walking on my own. I was leaning up against the door leading into my room. I was getting ready to give up on waiting for him and open my door when his voice stopped me.

"Are you alright, Cat?" He's voice was so full of concern that I almost forgot that he didn't want me.

"I will be." I wasn't just talking about physically either. I wasn't going to break down on him. I wasn't going to go back on the promise I'd made to myself about only sleeping with a man who loved and wanted me. I wasn't going to but when his hand touched mine, my resolve about failed. I turned around so fast that he was a little shocked. I kissed him; it was a passionate kiss, one that I'd been holding onto since the last time he kissed me. We made out like that for about a minute or so when all of a sudden he pushed me away. "Take me. Take all of me, I'm yours." He was shocked at my response. That was the first emotion that played across his face… the second was indifference.

"No. I don't want you." He paused. I thought that was all he was going to say. If that were the case I would have said that I didn't care anymore, but he shattered my heart into a thousand pieces when he said something else. "Go be with Scott. Give yourself to him." The only thing I could do after that was to watch him walk away. I stood in the hallway starring in the direction he went before I turned and opened the door to my room. I threw everything into my duffle bag, threw it across my back. I made my way downstairs. It was time to say good-bye. I didn't worry about giving in to those who wanted me to stay. The only person who could convince me to stay clearly didn't want me here. That was enough. My memories were on a disc and the Professor could show it when he felt it was time. Omega Red was stopped. My time here was over. I made my way downstairs. Everyone was in the game room. Nobody was really doing anything… Iceman was gone, we were all still feeling that loss. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. Logan was there. It didn't bother me, let him witness this. He did it. I had given my word to the Professor, I wasn't going to back out now; not after hearing how much Logan didn't want me. Okay, girl, no more stallin'. Let's get this over with.


After re-reading this story I realized that I was not completely content with this ending and even though there will be a sequel I figured that this particular story needed another chapter and that the new chapter would probably fit better at the end of this story instead of at the beginning of the sequel. I hope to get Chapter 8-Memories up soon but with being so busy at work and everything it may be a week or so before it's finished and up. Not sure how the chapter will be but I do have the ideas needed to finish it. I thank you all for reading this story (even if I haven't received and reviews or responses; the number of hits and visitors does at least tell me that people are interested). Having said that, reviews, responses, opinions, thoughts on the sequel (which may actually be nearing completion some time soon, though I hope to get chapter 8 of this story done first), etc. is much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read the story though.