As soon as the Transfiguration O.W.L. ended, Severus burst from the Great Hall and started heading towards the Slytherin dungeons. He didn't want to put up with Lily pointedy ignoring him. Plus he was still confused about Sirius. The boy had cheated on him. Had sex with Remus, right in the Three Broomsticks. But when Lily had rejected his apology so harshly, Sirius was there to comfort him. He didn't even say anything about the fact that Severus loved Lily. So when he felt a hand brush his elbow, he didn't know what to do. He ended up stopping but not turning to who it was.
A gentle voice answered him. "Severus, do you want to go for a walk?" Severus dropped his books, bag sliding off the now slack shoulder. A pair of arms circled his waist, in plain view of anyone in the Entrance Hall. "I managed to get passes to Hogsmeade for both of us. Please?" Severus tensed in the arms, heart beating fast. Sirius rubbed the Slytherin's waist softly.
Finally, Severus turned in the hold and wrapped his arms tightly around the other boy. "Alright. Let me put my books back in the Common Room." Sirius shook his head, placing a soft kiss to the other boy's temple. "Why not?"
"I'll carry them. C'mon." Sirius broke the embrace and picked up Severus's things, slinging the bag over his shoulder and sliding the books into it. Severus felt a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth but quickly hid it. He still wasn't sure that he forgave Sirius. But he let Sirius lead him off none the less. When they reached the edge of the Hogwarts grounds, Hagrid stopped them.
"Whaddyu two think yer doin'? Yeh can' go off–." The halfgiant was taking long strides towards them brandishing his pink umbrella. Sirius laughed warmly.
He pulled the passes from within his school cloak. "Don't worry, Hagrid. We've got permission from the Head Boy." Well that explained where the passes came from. Sirius probably slept with him too just to get the passes. Severus ducked out of reach when the Gryffindor made to put an arm around him. Sirius took it in stride.
The groundskeeper frowned then scrutinized the passes, squinting his black eyes at the small squares of parchment. "Well you an' Andromeda 'ave always bin closer 'in you an' Bella. Git 'er to ask 'er boyfriend, eh?" he chuckled before handing the passes back. "Dunno what you two're doin' hangin' 'bout but have fun, aright?" The two boys nodded then went off towards Hogsmeade. Severus mentally berated himself for thinking Sirius had cheated again. He had forgotten that Andromeda was dating Ted Tonks, Head Boy.
Sirius shifted as they walked down the path, leaving Severus to look at him in a curious light. Black eyes scrutinized the Gryffindor's posture, noting how open it, was, as though he were inviting Severus closer. No, he decided, he's waiting for me to get closer. Severus gave in and allowed himself to be held under Sirius's cloak with him. "We need to talk."
Grey eyes never wavered. "I know. I didn't expect to get out of it without talking." He brushed his finger tips against the other's hip. "I was hoping to wait until we could sit down. Not Rosmerta's, of course. I'd say Pudifoot's, but y'know. . . ." Severus nodded. "How about Hog's Head? Aberforth's always interesting. Except for the damn goat."
"All right."
The two crossed through the small town until they arrived at the pub on the opposite side. A greying old wizard was outside the front, chasing after a goat, yelling incoherently at it. Sirius chuckled. "Oi! You open?" The wizard turned around, bright blue eyes examining the pair over half moon lenses. Severus quickly turned so he was less recognizable but could still talk to Sirius.
"That's Dumbledore! What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to get us in trouble or–!" but before he could continue, the man cut across him.
"I'm open if you got here legally," he countered Sirius with a hint of amusement betraying his otherwise threatening tone and stance. Sirius laughed and offered the passes again. The man glanced at them then beckoned the pair inside. "Welcome. That Potter with you?"
"No. This is Sev," the Gryffindor replied vaguely as he took a seat at one of the empty places. Only a few others were in the pub, a small group of warlocks conversing with a goblin in a dark corner. Severus sat beside Sirius, suddenly wishing they'd gone to the Three Broomsticks.
The old man simply accepted Sirius's response. "Welcome, Sev. I assume you want the usual, Black. What about the boy here?" He nodded to Severus, barely seeming to acknowledge that he was a person and not a beast of some sort.
Sirius paused to think then looked at Severus. "What do you want? Butterbeer or. . . ?"
"Butterbeer's fine. . . . I'll have whatever you're having I guess. . . ." he replied.
"Usual for me. Butterbeer for him," Sirius gave their order and watched Aberforth disappear. Severus also watched.
"What is your usual then?"
"Firewhiskey," he stated blandly. "I come here when I'm troubled. He doesn't care about age, unlike Rosemerta."
Silence settled between them for some time until their drinks arrived. Severus decided that there was no way this Aberforth fellow was actually Dumbledore, despite their similarities in features. Sirius took a swig of Firewhiskey, Severus swirling his drink mindlessly. "We still need to talk."
"Yeah, okay." Sirius murmured. "Before I explain, do you have any questions?"
Well, duh. "Why did you do it?" The obvious one.
Sirius sighed and took another swig of alcohol. "He needed it. I got so confused I didn't think straight. In short: I fucked up." He set down his drink and slid it away from him a bit, presumably so he wouldn't drink it all right away. "To start from the top. . . . Or I guess, where I left you. . . ." He took a deep breath, turning to face the Slytherin, who looked back at him with a steady gaze. "I went to talk with Remus. He said the others had all gone off to do whatever and Lily had gone to the bathroom." He paused, a curious gaze searching the black eyes.
Soon, Severus realized that his lover was seeking confirmation. "Yeah. Lily said that too. She'd gone to the bathroom and when she came back she saw you and Lupin talking so she decided to leave you two alone. Said Lupin had gone to the bathroom when they first got to the pub and when he came back, he refused to take off his jacket. Lily thought he looked overheated. . . ."
A thoughtful expression came across the pureblood's face. "Oh. . . . That would explain when he did it. Apparently Remus cut himself while he was in the bathroom. Badly. When I saw his arms, a lot of the blood had already dried and caked. But before then, I was talking to him. Something seemed off and I was afraid. After talking for a while, I still was afraid so I pulled him off to the bathroom, thinking a more secluded area might make him open up."
A witch walked behind them, closer than necessary and looking as though she were eavesdropping, so the pair silenced. Sirius sipped at his drink again. Severus imitated him, needing to occupy his mouth to keep quiet.
When the witch passed, Sirius continued. "When we got to the bathroom, blood had gone down his arms and was streaming across his hands. So I cleaned the cuts up and asked why he had done it. He apparently overheard you that day at breakfast and got suspicious. Of course I lied to him about it. Then he started apologizing nonstop. But it drove me crazy so I told him to shove it. And then. . . . we ended up having sex. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea. I have no good excuse for why I did it other than I'm stupid and didn't think things through. I'm sorry but I know that those are only words."
The two boys looked into each other's eyes for a few moments. Severus saw tears welling in the other's eyes and then noticed some were slipping down his face, tracing the contours of his cheeks and lips. One pale hand reached up and brushed the tears away. "I love you, Sirius. I don't know. . . . I can't ever forget that you did that to me. But I can understand why, to some extent." He pressed his lips softly to Sirius's. "I can't forgive you yet. But I can give you a chance to make it up to me. To redeem yourself."
Lips met in a fierce kiss that would have been more discrete had one of the boys not been a bit pissed. Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around the slighter boy, pulling him close as their mouths fought for dominance. Severus returned the kiss just as eagerly, fingers balling up the Gryffindor robes. He felt like he was on cloud nine, a sense of euphoria washing over him. He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed Sirius's kisses. Though he liked to consider himself the more dominant one in the relationship ( he had been on top ), for now he was content to let Sirius be in control.
A soft, yet highly amused voice broke them apart. "Need a room?" Both boys immediately jumped back to their stools and turned towards the voice. The Dumbledore look-alike was leaning with his elbows on the tan;e, looking at the couple over the tips of his fingers Just like the Headmaster did. "Oh don't stop now, I was enjoying the show," the pub-owner said with a grin.
Sirius scoffed at him. "Oh shut it, you old geezer. And keep your trap shut about this with Lupin, Potter, and the Rodent! If I find out you said something to any of them–."
"Is the little Muggle girl in on it? Or do I need to keep quiet from her too?" The sarcasm in his voice was so thick it could rival Lucius's. Sirius took Severus's hand discretely under their table and nodded.
Severus squeezed it softly and smiled. Aberforth teased them for a few more moments before Sirius paid their tab and they walked out. "He looks like–."
"Dumbledore? Yeah. Brothers."
"Oh."
They walked back to the castle in silence, though Severus noted the silence wasn't uncomfortable as it had been in the past. Sirius would occasionally walk closer than necessary and rub their shoulders together. Severus finally took the hint and grabbed the Animagus's hand. Sirius leaned over and placed a kiss on the other's jawline. "I love you."
Severus felt a warm sensation rush through him, lifting him up. All of him. "I love you too."
********************
"Hey, Black! Hurry up! Train's about to leave!" Ted Tonks was hanging out the door, waving his hand towards the Black heir. Sirius waved back from behind the brick gazebo-like area. Remus stood beside the Head Boy, leaning against the wall. "Huh. That boyfriend of yours is quite a character, Remus. If you could manage to punish him and the other two, you'd be a shoo-in for Head Boy."
Remus nodded. "Yeah, I know Ted. I just. . . . I can't make myself do it. Don't you have trouble punishing Andromeda Black?" The Ravenclaw's face coloured, causing the werewolf to laugh. "Knew it."
Shaking the embarrassment, Ted went on. "Well, how's your little problem?" He slid an arm around Remus's shoulder and led him towards the Prefect compartment. Remus simply crossed his arms over his chest, fingers drumming on his elbows. "That bad, eh?"
"Yeah. Getting worse." Remus curled into Ted's embrace, comforted by it.
The Head Boy smiled and ended up taking the boy into an empty compartment nearby. "The four of you spending time together this summer? Mainly, you and him?" He asked softly, closing their door. Remus shrugged.
"They want to get together. . . . late in July. But I don't really want them to." Remus sighed and stretched out near the window, resting his feet on the seat across from him. Ted nodded, running through the lunar calender in his mind. July's full moon was late in the month this year. Ted had learned long ago that Remus was a werewolf, though he never actually asked the younger boy about it.
The pair sat together for a time without talking. They'd come to know each other so well over the past year that it was a fairly common for them to sit in silence. But the Ravenclaw always broke it by saying something to comfort his friend. "He told you yet?"
Remus shook his head, murmuring a quiet, "No." He curled up a bit, bringing his knees towards his chest. The older boy shifted so he was sitting closer and smiled softly, watching his friend. Remus sighed and leaned against Ted's shoulder. "I almost don't want him to."
Ted shook his head. "Trust me. The truth is always best. He needs to–." Before the eighteen year old could say what 'he' needed to do, the compartment door was thrust open and a head of shaggy black hair greeted the pair. Sirius immediately took a stance of indignation at seeing the two so close.
"Here I was, running and searching for you to give you a kiss and I find you snogging Tonks instead?" Sirius faux-fumed at them. "Remus, I'm sorry but if you're going to take on another lover, then we're finished!" He rested the back of one of his hands to his forehead and managed a sob.
A grin broke out on the werewolf's face and he stood, going to Sirius. "You nut. You're the only one for me." He wrapped his arms around Sirius's waist and nuzzled his neck. Sirius simply chuckled and gave the smaller boy a squeeze.
"C'mon. Let's go find James and Pete. Good seeing you again, Tonks. Don't shag my cousin on the train ride home." Sirius called over his shoulder as the two pups went out into the hall.
Remus froze for a moment and cursed under his breath. "I left my bag in that compartment!" He turned to go back, repeating 'bollocks' with every step. Sirius, who found this amusing, went after him.
When they got back to the compartment, Sirius thrust the door open again, knocking Remus's bag over. "Shite. Sorry, Rems! I'll put it all back!" Sirius knelt and began putting the spilled contents back into the bag. A couple rolls of parchment, handful of quills, several different coloured inks, two different sized balls wrapped in cloths, a tiny crystal ball, a Remembrall with a large crack in it, an imitation Snitch, several books, and a stack of letters. Pack rat much? Remus teased himself quietly.
After putting everything back in the bag, the two once again set out to find the other Marauders. Remus fidgeted a lot, throwing sidelong glances at Sirius, but the boy seemed completely normal. Well, as normal for Sirius Orion Black anyway.
His initials are S.O.B. Son Of a Bitch. I'll have to remember that.
