Chapter 7: The Jaded and the Jerk

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight


For the next several days, Bella was quiet. She never once complained about my obnoxious jokes or my working her too hard. I kinda missed it. I couldn't get away with anything before, and now she seemed to let the most annoying things slide. The girl went through her exercises halfheartedly too. It was like she was sleepwalkin' or somethin'."

I came back from patrol one morning, and found her in the woods behind our house, sitting in the wheelchair, just staring into space. My gut clenched. This was not a good sign.

"Whaddya doin' out here, Bells?"

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"About what a pain I am. About how worthless I feel. About how I'm going to be bound to this stupid wheelchair for the rest of my life."

"Jeez, Bells, you've only been out of your cast for six days. Give yourself some time."

"This—coming from a wolf boy who heals instantly."

"Oh, c'mon, that's beside the point. You'll get your strength back."

She finally gazed up at me, making eye contact. "Will I?"

"Don't be stupid. Of course you will, 'cuz I'll be helping you."

Bella glared at me, and said, "I want to go home, Jake. I'm tired of doing all this crap. It's not working. We're both spinning our wheels."

Looking down at her hands fisted in her lap, she mumbled, "Sometimes I wish I had died in that crash."

That tore it. I was getting reaaaally upset with this line of thinkin'. "Thanks a lot! That's totally selfish of you. You'd leave your mom, and dad, and me? You take that back."

Her head tipped up, and a scowl crossed her face. "You going to make me, big boy?"

Damn, she was stubborn as all get out. I was grinding my teeth. Taking a deep breath, I continued reasoning with the unreasonable woman. "Look, I know it's depressing, but you've gotta be patient. You left the hospital not even a week ago."

"Oh, yeah … how about the two weeks after I woke up.

"I can't do this anymore. And you—you're just wasting your time. I'm holding you back. You could be out having fun with the guys."

"Sure, sure, maybe I could, but if I'm wasting my time, so what? It's my time to waste. So, don't be tellin' me how to spend it."

Her eyes began to glisten with tears. Oh, sh**. I couldn't stand seein' her cry.

I stood there lamely, as she said the words that stabbed at my heart, "I'm just miserable, Jake. And I'm dragging every one of you into the pit with me."

"I don't want you to be miserable, honey. Let's start over again, but this time, you gotta think positive, and cooperate with me. You've gotta set your mind to want this.

"I tell you what … when you start walking on your own again, I'll take you dancin'. How does that sound, huh?"

"Great—dancing. You of all people know I hate dancing."

"Yeah, but that's only 'cuz you've never danced with me."

With a deadpan expression, she groaned, "I can hardly wait."


Rolling her into the kitchen, I set her by the table facing me. "No more talk of defeat. We're gonna lick this, guaranteed. But first off, you need to eat more."

"Ugh … I can't. I don't ever feel hungry."

"Jeez, what must that be like?"


I thought about what she said, and got a brain storm. While she was in the bathroom, I called Charlie at work.

"Hey, chief, can you do me a favor and buy me one of those body building powders."

"You're kidding me. This has got to be one of your jokes. Not too funny, I might add, but I'm game. What's the punchline?"

"There is no punchline. I'm serious. Bella needs to put on some weight, but she hardly eats, so I thought that maybe if I could make her a power shake twice a day, it would add a few hundred calories."

"I'll be there after work with a big container. What kind should I get?"

I peeked past the wall to be sure Bella wasn't comin' around the corner yet. "It should say, whey protein somewhere on the label."

"Got it … whey protein."

"Thanks, Charlie."

"Any time, kid."


# # # # #

Jacob was busy pouring milk and scoops of some white chalky substance into a blender. The liquid was dripping down the sides, and the powdery stuff was flying everywhere. "You're making a mess. Put the lid on the blender, Jake. What are you doing anyway?"

"I'm making you a shake."

"A shake …"

"Yeah, you know, one of those protein drinks. I think it could put some meat on your bones. It'll make you stronger."

"If you say so."

After considering my advice, the drink remained inside the blender. Jacob put the culinary results in a large glass, and with a grin as wide as the Amazon, handed me my shake.

"Drink up, Bells. You'll like it. Isn't vanilla your favorite flavor?"

How did he know that? No matter how many flavors there were on the planet, I still went with vanilla. I took a sip. It wasn't bad, in fact, I did like it. The fact that Jacob cobbled it up for me made it all the better.

Nodding, I licked my lips, and taking another sip, smiled up at him. "Thanks, Jake."

Geesh, it occurred to me just then, that this was the first time I had thanked him for all he'd been doing for me. Suddenly, I felt very ashamed.

Jacob danced around the kitchen, pumping his fist. "Yeeessss, I knew it. Score one for the wolf boy."

From that day on, Jacob was my personal soda jerk, and amazingly—just like he prophesied—I began to feel stronger.


The next day, Jacob asked me, "You wanna go over to Charlie's and pick up a coat?"

"Why? I brought my hoodie along."

"Yeah, I know, but I wanna take you to First Beach, and it's always colder over there.

"I can drop you off at your house, so you can pack up more stuff, and I can go get Dad's insulin at the pharmacy while you're there."

"Okay, that should give me enough time."

"Oh, almost forgot … a dress too, somethin' fancy."

"That's easy, I only have two, the blue one I wore to prom, and the lavender, Mom bought me for graduation."

"I liked the blue one."

"Okay, the blue one."


Jacob helped me up the stairs to my bedroom.

"You gonna be all right without the wheelchair?"

"This room's not that big. I'll be fine."

As soon as Jacob left, I fired up my laptop. I know it was wrong of me, but I wanted to see if Alice's email address was still valid. Telling myself that I was just curious as to where they'd settled, I typed the address into the recipient box, and added a short message, letting her know I was recovering from the accident. The email returned immediately as undeliverable. I had no choice but to accept the fact that the Cullens had severed all ties with me, but I was still hit pretty hard. Then I marveled that Jacob had stayed the course, and even now was looking out for my welfare. God, I didn't deserve the boy.

I heard the Rabbit pulling into the driveway, and quickly shut down the computer, grabbed my coat and dress, and haphazardly stuffed some clothes into a bag. I wondered if the guilt was written all over my face. Gah, Jacob could always read me like a book, would he notice?


First Beach was a lot colder, and the pebble-strewn shore was a terror to navigate even in better days. If Jacob hadn't been there to catch me I would've face planted half a dozen times. When he did grab me, crushing me to his chest, I could feel the heat radiating from his body. I had to admit, I felt safe and warm in his arms. As he held me, I remembered the kiss on the mountain before the newborn battle, and all those emotions resurfaced. I buried my face in his shoulder so he wouldn't see the red creeping up my cheeks.


# # # # #

I didn't say anything on the way to the beach, but somethin' was up. I figured, what difference would it make? The only waves I wanted made were crashin' on the shore. If Bella told me what was botherin' her, then okay; if not—big deal.

And there we were, passing the sign for First Beach. I had the resistance bands in the backpack on the rear seat, but there was no sense in bringin' the wheelchair along. It couldn't cut thu' all the rocks and sand, so, after parking the Rabbit on the rise overlookin' the ocean, I carried Bella down to our driftwood bench. I didn't want her to be tuckered out before the Jacob Black Gait Trainin' School was in session.


"Gosh, it's so hard slogging through this stuff."

"That's the whole point, Bells. You havta really push yourself to walk in sand. It'll increase you endurance. Okay, just twice more, I promise, then we'll do your exercises."

After twenty minutes or so, I put away the bands into my backpack.

"You did good, girl. You feelin' okay?"

Gazing at me with those big chocolate eyes, she moaned, "I feel tired."

Bella let out a squeal as I hoisted her up in my arms and sat her on the bench. She snuggled into me when I plopped down beside her, and actually positioned my arm around her shoulder. Be still my heart. I almost said somethin' smart-alecky, but thought better of it. If I made her feel all weird about how close we were seated, she'd draw her sweet self away from me. I'd be nuts to do that. Not when I had just made such great inroads with her!

"Ummmmnnn … she murmured. "You're so warm."

"Told ya I was one hot number."

With a roll of her eyes, she smacked me in the chest. "Be serious."

I nodded. "Okay, serious."

"I think I owe you an apology, Jake. I've been a real grump."

"Can't hold that against you. It's understandable. Your life changed in an instant, and you couldn't make out the light at the end of the dark tunnel."

"That's no excuse. I've been ungrateful and self-centered. And all the while, everyone around me was suffering too. I don't want to be that person anymore.

"So, thank you, Jake. I owe you my life."

"I'd do it all over again. You know that, right?"

Bella placed her hand on my cheek, and I leaned into it.

"Yeah, I know. That's what's so amazing. You're just so full of … love and compassion."

"Jeez, I don't know what to say."

"Say you'll forgive me."

I drew her hand away from my face. Kissing her palm, I enclosed it within my own, and pressed it to my heart. "Sure, sure. I forgive you. I always do, don't I?"

She smiled, a sad little smile. "Yes, you do."

Letting go of her hand, I jumped down from the log, and helped her back into my arms. "Okay, then. Case closed. Not another word about it.

"C'mon, Bells, time to go home."


Every night, in the middle of the night, I would stand outside her room and listen to her breathe. Sometimes, I'd peek in while she slept, just to make sure she was all right.

After our day at the beach, when I swung by her room, I heard her talkin' in her sleep, and it was my name she was repeatin'… "Jacob, my Jacob."

I couldn't resist. I went in and knelt by the bed. She flipped over, facing me. Reaching out, I smoothed my fingers gently over her hair, my eyes misting up as they ruffled through the short strands where her head had been shaved. It was a miracle, a freakin' miracle. She was here, alive; I'd almost lost her. And my name was pourin' from her lips. Jeez, what a sucker I was for her, but hearing those words melted my heart. Reluctantly, I walked back to my room, slid into my own bed, and dreamt of our future together. I had to believe it was possible, that it would happen, but it was so hard to wait 'til that day.