That James! What a... there were not enough swear words to describe him. So what if she went without dinner? At least she didn't have to be near him. Lily sat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room and tried to do her homework.
"Pumpkin pasties," she heard a voice say outside. The Fat Lady swung open and James stepped in.
"GO AWAY!" Lily shouted.
"No, Lils, I'm sorry!"
"STOP CALLING ME THAT! YOU'RE NOT SORRY AT ALL!"
"Yes, I am!"
"You only say you're sorry to try to get me to go out with you! NO!"
"Please?"
"HA! I KNEW IT!"
"No, Lily, listen... I realize that I shouldn't tease old Snivellus just because I can. I should only tease him when he deserves it."
"NO! You're still wrong! You shouldn't tease anybody, ever! And don't call him Snivellus!"
"If I promise never to touch him again, will you go out with me?"
"No, James! You're just desperate! And if I don't go out with you, you're saying that you'll still tease Severus? That's what you're saying, isn't it?"
"No, that's not what I meant! Well, it is, but I changed my mind!"
"No! Leave me alone!"
"I'll never leave you alone, you're too beautiful to have not gone out with before I died."
"Shut up! I'm going to bed!"
"You'll be hungry. I can bring you some food."
"No!"
"Fine."
Lily stomped upstairs to the girls' dormitory and collapsed on her bed. Murdering James didn't seem like such a bad idea at the moment.
