Chapter 7 – I Want to Play a Game
The disqualification of Dodo made the contestants hold back their ill feelings and keep them for the challenges… for the time being. The temporary peace did allow time for some bondage, that didn't sound right, some bonding.
"I wonder what Kandy meant about things to entertain us in the closet over there. Hm…" Bombette said to some nearby friends, walking over to the closet and opening it. "Here's… a bottle."
Rawk Hawk flexed his muscles to the ladies. "For spin the bottle, you girls ready for some kissing?"
"Ew, I think I'll pass." Daisy replied.
Bombette continued her search finding nothing that really was a game except Twister. She held it in the air. "I'm up for this if you guys are."
Waluigi let out a long laugh. "You'd loose in an instant, your feet are as small as tooth picks."
Bombette shot him a dirty look as Goombario, Bombette's good friend from Paper Mario, spoke for her. "Well, at least she doesn't look like a freak with mile-long legs."
"So, how about that game of Twister?" Mario said hopefully.
Bombette proceeded to open the box. "There's nothing in it except this button that reads, push to play."
Peach nodded her head knowingly. "It's probably some trick set up by the producers."
Unfortunately Amazee Dayzee happened to be passing by, she saw the bright red shiny button and simply couldn't resist. "TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI!!!" Before Bombette could blink she ripped the box away from her and pressed the button.
There was a chorus of "Don'ts!" but it was too late. The lights immediately shut off.
"Dammit, now look what you did you stupid flower." Sonic yelled into the darkness.
Parakarry flew into one of the walls, letting out a pain-filled shout. "Hey, who turned off the lights?"
"I told you it was a trick." Peach said with a sigh.
In the Confession Room…
Luigi sat in the darkness, staring at the camera light. "If you ask me, that retard, um, what's her name, well, what's its name… Amazee Dayzee cheated. She's as dumb as a doornail and somehow got through with the likes of us. I mean no one here is as a complete and utter fool as she is not even…" He was cut off by knocking on the door.
"Who's there?"
"Tuki."
Luigi found himself continuing before he could stop the words. "Tuki who?"
"TUKI-TUKI-TUKI-TUKI!!!" The door burst open and in came Amazee Dayzee.
Luigi turned to the camera, putting his hand on his forehead. "See what I mean?"
Meanwhile…
The others continued to wait in the dark, some patiently and others not so much. The Green Axem Ranger completely blew his lid. "I'm gonna start (Edited for content)ing breaking shit if the lights don't (Edited once again for content)ing come back on."
As if a response the lights promptly returned yet everything was missing, well besides the players. The floor had been transformed into a huge Twister board complete with a giant spinner on the wall.
Ashlee Simpson looked around for a moment. "What the hell is this?"
Up from the floor Kandy arrived on a rising pedestal in a pathetic pose. She had an afro wig on with a sparkly disco dress. "Did someone call for a game of Twister?"
"Nope, no one here." Geno lied.
Kandy let out some eccentric laughter. "Doesn't matter… get ready to Par-tay!"
The lights flickered once more and all of the contestants were transformed into disco gear. The women in the same style as Kandy and the men in white pants with a shirt that was cut low to reveal lots of manly chest hair even if they didn't have any.
Bowser looked to Bombette mockingly. "Who wants to play Twister? I'll show you Twister you stupid shit for brains."
"Calm down, Bowser. After all, she didn't press the button." Mario retorted.
Kandy noticed the unenthused glances from the contestants. "Okay, fine. Since you talked me into it there will be a prize for the winner. Let's get started. We've randomly chose the order."
The first round passed by with ease, all of the players joined in even Amazee Dayzee. The play continued slowly, one round Bowser fell on top of three people consequently knocking them out of the game, another round Peach's dress ripped and everyone in the room saw her badonkadonk she promptly excused herself along with several others who needed to visit the bathroom, eventually the final round approached.
"The only remaining players are Bombette and Waluigi!" Kandy shouted with glee as she spun the spinner. "Right hand purple!"
Bombette's strategy was simple yet brilliant. Every time she used her bomb attack, blowing a piece of herself over to the space she needed while keeping part of her on the other spaces. Waluigi just used his lanky arms and legs.
"Ooo, I got it. So close." Waluigi whispered to himself as he stretched his arm over to the purple space. He began to wobble. "NOOOOOO!!!" He screamed as he fell to the floor landing on his big nose.
"Bombette is the winner." Kandy stated, going over to her and giving her the proper congrats.
She evilly looked to Waluigi who was wallowing on the floor. "I may be small but I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve."
Kandy started to leave but was quickly stopped. "What's my prize?" Bombette questioned.
She frowned in return hoping she wouldn't remember. "Oh right, that. Tell her what she's won, Johnny!"
"A BRAND NEW CAR!!!"
Bombette nearly pissed her pants. "Really? Really? I won a car!"
The announcer laughed. "No, no. But something even better…"
"A house? A yacht? A pool?" Bombette dreamily asked.
"For your comfort and enjoyment, A BRAND NEW PILLOW!"
Bombette's faced dropped quicker than an 80 year old toad with a heart condition at Hooter's. "A fucking pillow?"
The announcer continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Courtesy of Sleep Masters. Enjoy the sleep that king Toadstool gets on the revolutionary Feather Master 3000TM, made only with real feathers. Sleep like a king, feel like a king. A 500 coin value."
Kandy skipped happily to the exit. "See you in the morning, get some rest."
The pillow dropped from the ceiling, Bombette quickly grabbed it before anyone else could. The lights shut off and returned several minutes later, everything put back in its place and everyone in their own clothes.
The following day at five in the morning…
The groggy contestants were awakened by none other than the annoying Kandy. "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know!"
"I don't think anyone cares." Toad mumbled to her.
Kandy blew him a kiss. "Everyone ready?"
Daisy let out a sarcastic laugh. "Um, hello, you just woke us… how the hell are we supposed to be ready? It takes me three hours to shower, dress, and put on my makeup."
"Oh, in that case, you have exactly…" Kandy glanced to her watch. "Five, four…"
"She can't be serious, can she?" Peach asked Mario.
"…Three…"
Birdo let out a low growl. "Can we just kill her now?"
"…Two…"
"I like this girl." Bowser said with a chuckle.
"…One…"
Daisy shook her head. "Bitch."
Kandy jumped in the air. "Zero! Okay guys, blindfold 'em!"
"Oh no, not again!" Lakilester pleaded.
As before, ninjas dressed in black came from nowhere and knocked everyone out. Each of the contestants awoke separately about an hour later in a bare, completely white, unmarked room. Only a small television hanged in one corner. Upon consciousness, the TV turned on and fuzzed for a few moments before it focused on a man in a white and red mask. Beady red eyes and a mouth that moved like a puppet completed his face. The unknown person spoke in a hazy voice. "Hello, I want to play a game."
Lady Bow stared at the television wide-eyed. "Oh, let me guess. Something about not appreciating life or some shit like that, hm? Am I right? Do I pass go? Do I collect two hundred coins?"
The contestants watched as the man continued. "This game is called 'What Would You Do?' What are you willing to do for some coins? Anything? You've all been in this show thinking you were going to win a hundred million coins but what if I told you it was nothing but a lie. If I said that this is where the game ended would you believe me? Would you eat your own feces and jump up and down like a mental person in a psych ward?"
Bobo shrugged his shoulders. "Too late."
"…Mark my words, you will be visited by three ghosts. Julius Caesar, Chris Farley, and the coolest most bestest awesomiest ghost of all… can you guess? Take a wild guess at who it is."
Daisy hung her head, shaking it slowly. "Bitch."
The voice giggled before continuing. "No, not Willy Wonka. Me! Kandy!" She threw off the mask with a big smile on her face. "I had you going, didn't I? Ooo, you should have seen the looks on your faces. Well, I can't see them now but when I review the tape I will. I was just joking with you guys. Open the door."
In each room the door opened to release the contestants into a room with a panel of three judges. Kandy was nearby in front of a video camera. Once everyone had gathered into the larger room, Kandy proceeded to explain. "This is your first challenge!"
She was interrupted by Don Pianta, the gangster of 'Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door'. "We have to find the antidote before the toxin slowly eats away our insides?"
"No."
"We have to saw off our own legs?" Monty Mole suggested.
Kandy nodded her head happily.
"I knew it." Monty replied.
She let out a smirk. "No, no, that was just a joke. It has nothing to do with Jigsaw or killing yourself or anything sadistic like that. The name of your first challenge is 'Design Time'! Let me introduce our panel of judges. First we have Heidi Doom the highly rated fashion model toad."
Heidi smiled sweetly to the contestants. "Morning, everyone."
"Then we have Frank from the highly rated television series 'Swapping Spaces'."
He waved to the players. "Hey, guys."
Kandy rolled her eyes at the last judge. "And lastly, the one who thought up the idea to make you think you were going to die, Simon Cow… that guy with the accent."
Simon flicked off the camera. "Don't bother me."
"Today you are going to be decorating the room you were just in. No rules on what you can and cannot due. Everything you need is over there, paint, furniture, fabrics, whatever. You will be judged by our esteemed panel that is joining us for the first three challenges. You have ten hours and your time starts now. Good luck!"
Bowser looked at Kandy in disbelief. "A design challenge? Where's the blood, where's the gore? Where's the "I want to play a game" theory?"
Kandy brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh, is someone a teeny bit upset? Poor Bowsie Wowsie, use red if you have so much rage."
