It's four days before Christmas and if there was ever a reason for Dave to wish for a miracle, it might be now. But first he has to confess why he hates Christmas and scheduled a book tour over Em's Christmas party. I have faith in Dave to do the right thing.


This Gift

As David Rossi leaned his head back against the tiled wall, he sighed heavily. Forty-eight freaking hours. It had been forty-eight hours since his sentence in perpetual purgatory had commenced. And he was no more closer to finding absolution than when he first began.

Only family had been allowed in to see Emily. And Jimmy. It was too touch and go for anyone else to be admitted. And now it was four days before Christmas. He should have known another tragedy was going to ruin Christmas…and this time he was never going to look back.

Theresa had called to find out about the book tour, but he had been unable to give her an answer. He was going to lose book sales, but he couldn't leave Emily. He wouldn't leave Emily.

The team had left earlier in the day after the doctor had informed them that nothing else could be done. Anything now would be God's will. God's will. How many times had he heard that term in the past two days? A hundred? A thousand? He knew what it meant, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. If he never heard it again, it would be too soon.

He had had to get out of the waiting room. The other families sitting there, some sobbing, others talking about life, holidays, and hopeful outcomes had been too much to handle. He had to escape before he went crazy. And the blinking, twinkling, festively decorated Christmas tree occupying the far corner didn't seem to help matters any. Just another painful reminder of why he despised holidays.

Looking at his watch, he sighed. It was past midnight and now it was officially four days before Christmas. He needed to see Emily. He had prayed about it until his voice had gone hoarse, but nothing seemed to change the moment; he was not going to be able to see Emily. He was never going to be able to tell her that he was sorry.

Stepping out of the chapel, he paced the long, quiet hallways. Twice he passed the nurse's station and blanched as the radio played a Christmas tune. Please God, he prayed, don't make me have one more reason to hate this day; send me something. A sign. Anything.

Passing by the ICU, he stopped and tried to peer in through the window and see Emily, but couldn't. And now he stood against the wall, his head resting on the cool tiles, and wondered if miracles still existed.

"Good evening Mr. Rossi," a voice greeted.

Dave turned his head slightly to look at the nurse. Older, a little matronly - she reminded him of his Aunt Sophia - he had spoken a couple of times to her but couldn't remember her name. Flicking his eyes downward, he read the tag. Noelle Carole, R.N.

"Good evening, Mrs. Carole," he replied evenly.

"Have you seen Emily yet?" She looked at him sympathetically.

"No." He closed his eyes and tried to relax.

"Do you want to?" Her hand reached out and touched his shoulder gently.

Dave opened his eyes and looked at her in surprise. "What did you say?"

"Do you want to see Emily? If you do, I think I might have a way, but you can't say anything or else I'll be fired," Nurse Carole whispered. Dave hesitated. "It's alright. The shift is changing and if I can work it right, you'll have five minutes. That's all."

He tried to quell the excitement as she led him thru the first set of double doors to the large basin. Carefully he scrubbed with the antibacterial soap and rinsed off under the hot tap. Drying off, he tossed the paper towels in the wastebasket and waited for the go ahead.

"Come on," Nurse Carole motioned eagerly, as she looked up and down the hallway to make sure the coast was clear. Holding the double door open, she let Dave step inside. "Five minutes," she reminded.

Dave scanned the room until his eyes fell on the small figure tucked down near the end of the row of beds. Emily! Briskly he moved to where she lay. And his heart almost stopped. The beautiful woman he loved was now thin, pale, and hooked up to so many noisy monitors he wondered how she remained unconscious.

Grasping her cold hand, he squeezed and tried to will his strength into her body. The seconds ticked by slowly.

"Wake up Emily," he whispered hoarsely. "Come on. Let me see those beautiful brown eyes." Nothing. No movement, no change in stats. "Tesoro, I know you're in there. Come back to me." He blinked back the sudden prick of tears.

The constant beep of the machine filled the air.

"I know you're angry at me, Em, but are you really going to make me spend Christmas by myself? Alone with Mudgie? I know, you think I'm going to be on the book tour, but I have a confession: I cancelled it to be with you. I couldn't leave you. And now it seems you are going to leave me. And it's unfair because I'll have no where to go and no reason to celebrate the holidays."

"I never told you why I hate Christmas. I guess now is as good a time as any to clear the air." He took a deep breath before continuing. "My father died two days before Christmas. I was in the Marines going thru my tech school training when the call came. I flew home but the weather was bad and the traffic was worse. A blizzard in Chicago shut O'Hare down and I was trapped inside the airport for two days. No change of clothing. No way to make a phone call." The memory of the trip overwhelmed him.

Pressing Emily's cold hand to his lips, he tried to reign in his emotions. He had never told another living soul what had happened that Christmas…not Jimmy. Not even Hotch.

"By the time everything was cleared and my plane landed in New York, I caught a taxi to catch the tail end of my father's funeral. My mother understood, but my father's sisters didn't. If you ever want the definition of awkward, try opening your gifts while guests walk thru the house giving you condolences. I had just enough time to grab a bite, unwrap a gift, get called names I can't repeat and run to catch my plane back to California."

He waited for something, but she remained unresponsive.

"My second divorce came thru on December 24th. My third on December 27th. It's a sign that I am not supposed to celebrate Christmas. That is why I take cases or schedule book tours. That is why I went behind your back and scheduled those dates. I was right when I said I didn't want to attend any Christmas parties. But I was wrong by not telling you. And I'm sorry."

He rubbed her hand to try and warm it up. "I'll do anything if you come back. Anything. Please come back and give me a reason to celebrate the holiday." He searched her face. "We still have to buy our tree," he whispered.

"Mr. Rossi," a loud whisper came across the room. "It's time to go."

Leaning forward, Dave kissed Emily's cold lips. "I love you Emily. And I'm sorry for what happened between us. Hotch said that sometimes our second chances pass us by, but I don't believe that. Come back so I can make it up to you."

Another kiss and Dave walked away. Past the other patients. Past Nurse Carole. He headed straight to the chapel.
*****

Alone in the ICU, Nurse Carole began her last round of the morning. Taking the charts, she checked the monitors, made her notes, and moved down the aisle. Patient by patient she filled out the checklist and replaced the charts at the end of the bed.

Glancing at her watch, she sighed. Six forty-eight. Twelve more minutes before her shift ended. Yawning, she grabbed the chart from Emily's bed and flipped it open. Checking the heart monitor, she noted the stats and paused. Something wasn't right.

Taking hold of Emily's hand, she felt for a pulse and counted along with the seconds on her watch. Twice she repeated just to make sure.

"Emily?" Nurse Carole called out. "Are you alright? Blink if you can hear me." A slight groan was her answer. "Emily? Come on. You can do this," she encouraged.

Struggling against the pain in her body and the tube down her throat, Emily tried to pull herself out of the darkness that had been her home for nearly three days. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she felt as though she had tried to stop a train by herself. Another groan. And with everything she had, she opened her eyes.

Nurse Carole caught her breath. "Welcome back, sweetie. I'll go get the doctor." She went to move but Emily touched her hand. "What's wrong?" Emily blinked rapidly. "Dave?" Emily blinked again. "He's here. I'll tell you what, you lay here and rest while I get the doctor. Then we'll see about getting him in to see you."

Nurse Carol smiled and squeezed Emily's hand reassuringly before leaving. Satisfied, Emily closed her eyes and fell asleep.