Chapter 7 – The Talk

I returned to the control, I knew they would have more to say to me. It wasn't a conversation they would want to get into over the com units. As soon as they spotted me that gestured for me to follow them into the boardroom. Head down, I followed along, knowing I'd be in for it in a moment.

They all sat down around the table in the middle of the room, I sat in the seat nearest the door, clearly showing my desperation to not be there – to run. Col. Carter looked around the room, taking in everyone's expressions before she started, she was trying to get and idea of how everyone felt about the matter and how she should begin this necessary conversation.

"Obviously we need to talk. You told us something rather unexpected just now, and it's not a situation we were prepared for." She began, it was clear part of her was furious, thinking about the possible consequences of having someone within Atlantis who is linked to the Wraith. Another part of her could understand why I had kept it to myself for so long, after all, just look at the natural reaction they were trying not to show. "Is he the only one you're connected to?" She asked.

"Yes. I have met other Wraith, but I have no connection to any other Wraith, only him." I answered, and hoped they believed; I would understand if they were sceptical.

"Alright." Sam paused trying to think of the best way to continue.

"So, how did this happen?" John asked.

"Well…it's kind of a long story. I happened to meet him during the Wraith/Atlantean war. He was…not in such a great state and, I don't know, things kind of just went from there. I don't really want to get into the whole story."

John stared at me for a while, he obviously wanted more but I wasn't really willing to get into it. "You can't give us a little more information?"

"I…I helped him. I patched up his wounds, gave him somewhere safe to shelter, and helped him get back to his hive when he was better…enough. We eventually saw each other again, and it seemed like it was kismet. I felt connected to him. From there we continued to make sure we saw each other, when the war was over, I began staying with him on the hive. We're in love." That had to be enough for him, I realised that it probably raised other questions about living on a hive, but I thought I'd made it clear he was my only real contact. I doubt other Wraith would hesitate to feed on me if they hungry.

"So you lived on a Hive?" Sam asked, re-joining the conversation.

"Yes. Hives go into hibernation though, when the one I was on did, I usually stayed else where, and when the hive was active, I lived in G- Todd's quarters. I spent my time there or with him, occasionally I would wonder around."

"You say it all like living on a Hive is…normal." Sam replied. They were all really struggling with this. I didn't exactly blame them.

"It is normal…for Wraith. I was his permanent guest. He was the commander of the Hive, no one was going to dare do anything to me, and I felt safe. And once you feel safe somewhere, it's not really a problem, is it?"

"I suppose not." She replied carefully. "So he's your only connection and that connection is love? You don't work for him? Do favours for him?" Finally they were getting to the point of their concerns. Was I spy, which was the real question, was I a security risk?

"I love him. I don't expect you to understand, but I'm also not asking you to love him, or any other Wraith, so that's not really an issue. He is the only one; saying it more than once cannot make it any truer than it is, and it is true. I am his lover, not his underling. Do I do favours for him? Do you do favours for people you love?" I was trying not to be annoyed, after all I was the one who had kept the truth hidden, I was in the wrong, but I couldn't help feeling annoyed that I should be on trial for simply being in love, however I could hear my tone starting to get curt.

"Yes, I do." She answered. "I can understand your frustration, but you lied to us. It's not that you're in love with someone that's a problem, but who you're in love with. Generally people in love do stupid things, and they tend to be loyal. And that's the problem, if you're loyal to him, and there's a chance you would do what he asked of you, which is potentially bad for us." Now Sam was starting to get agitated. Things were escalating.

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself. I didn't want this becoming a fight. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied, and I'm sorry I started getting worked up." Another deep breathe. "You're right. I lied, and I understand the position that has put you in, that was never my intention. To be honest, when I woke up here…" I began to choke up, I knew I had to continue, and I had to do it without crying, but that feeling was still fresh. "I thought I had been abandoned. I didn't think this would ever be an issue, I thought that by leaving me with you, he was saying he didn't want me any more. I was hoping that wasn't the case, and I know now that it's not, but…" I trailed off, that sentence really wasn't going anywhere, they got it, I think. "I haven't been sending information or anything, if that's what you want to know. I wouldn't do that."

After a long pause, Sam finally spoke. "Alright. I believe you, but for security purposes I need have your room checked. I hope you understand. And all communication between you and the Wraith will be monitored from now on."

I didn't like either of those things. It meant the end to any kind of privacy, and it would set everyone else in Atlantis on edge once they hear my room was searched. People weren't going to trust me any more, it was that simple, but I had no choice but to accept, what else could I do? "Alright." I answered, tight lipped with a small curt nod.

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