I was going to talk to her before biology. Screw waiting until English.

After all, I'd been following her from her chemistry class for like a minute or so, and as sexy as the back of her head was, I needed a voice to go along with it.

Grow some balls. Say something to her!

Okay.

Here I go.

I reached out my hand to get her attention; I would soon be touching Alice Cullen. The Cullen of my dreams. My wild dreams. My wet dreams. The Cullen that called to my soul like a songbird, like a flower tilting towards the sun, like a cellphone. Alice Cullen, the one girl that coul-

"Hey," Said Edward, suddenly in my view.

Ugh! Where the hell did he come from!

Monologue ended.

He was standing right in front of me, grinning crookedly. It was a charming smile, but it mostly looked like someone punched him in the face.

Dickhead was between me and Alice.

God fucking damn it!

I watched her spikey head bounce away in the crowd and almost growled when I turned my gaze back to Edward.

"What?" I snapped at him, he almost looked scared for a moment. Recovering back into his suave state, he cleared his throat and started talking.

"I'm sorry I never got a chance to introduce myself a few days ago," He started, leaning against the locker.

Yeah, because you were too busy breaking your school supplies.

"You literally ran away from me." I said, and he shifted his gaze, looking embarrassed.

Apparently he wants me to talk to him.

Apparently he thinks it's okay to ruin me and Alice's romance, and consequently, my day.

"I'm Edward Cullen. You're Bella." He said.

Damn straight I was Bella.

The chime went off, signaling the beginning of class.

"We need to go to Biology." I said to him.

"Ladies first." He replied, following me into the class.

Oh he thinks he's so smooth.

We sat down - he took my seat again, and I was contemplating whether I should flip my hair.

This class was a lab, we had to name the stages of mitosis in order to win the golden onion.

I sucked at Biology.

Awesome.

Hopefully Edward would at least be useful this class, and I turned to him to voice my thoughts.

He was staring at me.

Creep.

"So, you enjoying the rain?" He asked.

"It's stupid." I answered, shrugging.

The boy continued staring. Didn't he ever blink?

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," He said, chuckling like it was some inside joke. "If you hate the rain, why did you come to the wettest place in the continental U.S.?"

"Gee, I don't know, I guess because my dad lives here." Idiot.

He didn't catch my sarcasm.

"And now you're unhappy?" He asked.

"No."

"You're very vague."

"You're very pale and your hair reminds me of Jimmy Neutron!" I accidentally yelled. That happens sometimes.

Edward made a face, as if I was the weird one, then laughed. "I'm sorry. You're very hard for me to read."

The lab started and I grabbed the microscope in front of us eagerly. I really wanted that onion.

"Prophase." I stated, writing it down.

"May I take a look?" Edward asked. I shrugged, so he helped himself. "Actually, it's anaphase."

I scoffed. Next slide.

"Prophase." I said again.

"Nope, it's metaphase." Edward responded, peering through the glass.

"Let me check." I said, grabbing the microscope and slitting my finger in the process.

Blood dripped everywhere. "OH MY GOD, THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD!" I squealed, some unknown instinct shoving my finger in his face.

Edward squealed like a girl and literally flew to the back of the classroom, face looking horrified.

"BATHROOM!" He yelled to the teacher, running out of the class.

Well, at least I thought it'd make an awesome battle scar.

...

I walked to the cafeteria, golden onion-less because stupid Edward never returned.

God, he must have a diarrhea problem.

Remembering that Cooper wasn't going to be at school, I got my food and sat at our usual table alone.

As soon as I sat down, I watched the Cullens and my eyes immediately went to Alice.

She turned her head and her eyes met mine.

In the split second that my heart stopped beating, I snapped my head downwards and stared at my food.

Oh broccoli, when did you get so interesting?

I continued my internal conversation with my vegetables until a shadow covered my greens.

Looking up slowly, Alice was sitting in front of me with a pleasant smile on her face.

Gulp.

"What's up?" She asked.

Blink.

Blink.

"Talking to my vegetables."

Blink.

She laughed and I continued blinking because God damn it, my other motor functions weren't working.

"You're sitting alone?" She asked me, picking up my apple and spinning it on her palm.

I nodded.

Alice Cullen was sitting at my table.

I swear, if this is a dream I'll be so pissed when I wake up.

Alice's golden eyes twinkled. "Do you know where Edward is?" She asked.

Huh? What did that have to do with anything?

"He's shitting." I said.

Alice raised an eyebrow in doubt. "Okay. . . Anyways, Bella I wanted to ask you something."

I nodded again.

Stupid tongue turning into stupid silly putty.

"Are you single?"

My jaw took a vacation.

She looked a little bit uncomfortable. "I know it's not my place to ask but-"

"Yes, yes I am." I quickly replied.

"Sweet!" Exclaimed Alice happily.

This is what my life has become.

"So I was wondering if . . ." She started.

Holy shit she was asking me out.

"You would want to . . ."

Yes, yes, yes, I would like to take you out to dinner, drive you to my place, and make sweet love.

"Go on a date with-"

"YES." I said, nearly jumping over the table to throw my arms around her in a hug.

She laughed awkwardly and patted me on the back.

"Great, I'll tell Edward when he comes back."

Huh?

"He'll be so happy you said yes." She squealed excitedly.

Wait. Rewind please.

"You guys can make the arrangements when you come over tonight." She said.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't, I don't want to - I just, I- "Okay."

'Okay'? Stupid brain! This was not 'okay'. This was a tragedy!

Alice talked happily for another minute, and then I watched her skip back to her table and tell her siblings, who all responded with equal enthusiasm.

Noooooooooo! My inner voice went on a tantrum.

I didn't want Dickhead. I wanted Alice.

Dickhead had weird hair and this aura that screamed '100-year old virgin'. Alice had fuck-me hair and this aura that screamed 'fuck me'.

How could she think I would ever want to be with Edward?

Fuck.

And she took my apple.