Hello everyone! This is going up now because I'm going to be in the car most of the day tomorrow, and I hate updating on my phone. So here you go! Technically it's only a half hour early, but whatever, be happy, lol.
"I'd walk through hell for you. Let it burn right through my shoes. These soles are useless without you. Through hell for you. Let the torturing ensue. My soul is useless without you."-Say Anything
*+*Aderyn*+*
Tristan didn't come back to our room for hours. I stayed awake all that time, staring out the window and wondering if I might have somehow irreversibly damaged what we had. When he finally did return, I pretended to be asleep, not ready to face the mess I'd made. He just climbed into bed, keeping as close to the edge as he could. The distance he kept between us was what drove the nail into the proverbial coffin, and tears flooded my eyes. I kept my back to him, not wanting him to see me break down.
I don't know at what point I finally went to sleep, but I woke up what couldn't have been three hours later, my head feeling like it was made of lead. I stood up, careful not to jostle Tristan awake, and began to make preparations for the journey. I packed my warmest breeches and tunics, knowing the temperature would drop considerably at night, especially in the North. After sliding on my first pair of pants in months, the confidence I'd lost after my fight with Tristan returned. I was finally going back into my element.
Tristan awoke while I was checking my arrows. I saw him roll over out of the corner of my eye, but didn't even look at him. Instead, I stood up, buckled my sword to my waist, and left the room. It wasn't yet time for us to leave, but I wanted to say goodbye to Desiderius before I left.
The fort was silent as the grave at this time of morning, before everyone was awake and moving about. Even though it was the slightest bit unsettling, the solidarity aspect of it was calming at the same time. I pulled my forest green cloak around me more tightly, trying to ward off the cold. Frost crunched under my boots as I walked, so I wouldn't have been surprised if it snowed later on.
Upon entering the infirmary, I found Severina bent over a pot of boiling water, soaking bandages. She looked up at me, and made a noise of exasperation. "What have you managed to do to yourself at this time of the morning then?! If this is about some half-breed baby that scout has planted in your belly then you take that business to a midwife, not me! I'll have no part in birthing that man's beastly spawn!"
"No babies, I promise," I deadpanned, doing my best not to let her irritate me. "I would like to speak with Desiderius." She eyed me suspiciously for a few seconds so I added, "Please."
"He's in the back, mixing me a poultice," she answered reluctantly. "Don't keep him too long, he has tasks to do!"
"Wouldn't dream of it," I assured her, striding to the back room.
Desiderius was there, counting out some dark purple flower petals with a frown of deep concentration marring his brow. For someone my age, he always seemed a lot older, like the soul of an elderly man was trapped in his body. Sensing me, he suddenly looked up, beaming when he recognized me.
"Aderyn! What are you doing here at this hour?" He quirked an eyebrow. "And wearing breeches? How big of a fit did my mother throw?"
"Didn't mention it at all, actually," I replied with a wry smile. "She was too busy telling me not to bring any half-breed pregnancies Tristan might have caused to her infirmary."
His face fell. "You're not…?"
"Oh no," I replied quickly, shaking my head.
"Thank god," he mumbled, and then his cheeks flushed and he looked away from me. "So, uhh…what did you need?"
"I came to tell you goodbye," I told him.
The expression of anxiety that took over his face wasn't the reaction I expected. I thought he might be a little upset, but nothing so dramatic as the look he was giving me now.
"You're not leaving for Sarmatia already, are you?" he gasped.
"No. Bishop Germanius gave the knights a final mission, and I'm going with them. We're leaving today to go to the far north, to rescue a Roman family from Saxons."
"Saxons?!" he yelled. "The last time you got mixed up with them, you spent almost a month here!"
"I remember," I retorted. "But I must go. The knights will need all the help they can get out there."
Desiderius suddenly lunged towards me, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Aderyn, no! If you go out there, you'll DIE! You know just as well as I that that's a suicide mission!" He shook me slightly, perhaps in an attempt to rattle some sense into me, making my head jerk back and forth.
"You don't understand!" I argued, prying his fingers from my arms. "How can I sit back here and do nothing while I know the knights are in such terrible danger? I simply can't, Desiderius."
"No, you could if you wanted to," he countered. "You just refuse to see reason. Because of Tristan." He said his name like it was some sort of disease. "Is it really better to die with him than to survive on your own?"
"You've never been in love before, have you?"
His face melted from scared and angry to devastated. "Actually, I have," he said, in almost a whisper, eyes locked onto mine.
"And how would you feel if that person went off to battle and then you never saw them alive again?"
"I expect I'll find out soon," he mumbled.
I wasn't sure I heard him right, so I asked, "What?"
"Nothing, just…nothing." He looked away from me, running his hands through his hair and breathing in a shaky breath. "I hate this."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you sure there's not something I can do to change your mind?"
"Nothing at all."
"Then I suppose I'll just have to say goodbye," he conceded. "And tell you that if you don't come back alive, I will never forgive you."
I laughed, and walked over to hug him. He squeezed me so tight I could barely breathe, but I didn't complain. I would miss Desiderius while I was away, him and all his boyish charm. Stepping out of the hug, Desiderius turned away quickly, and I heard him sniff.
"Are you alright?" I asked worriedly.
"Fine, fine," he answered, waving his hand flippantly. "It's just…I'll miss you. So come home safe."
"My dear friend, aren't I always safe?" I questioned teasingly.
"Good lord, you're going to come back missing limbs, aren't you?" he joked, turning back around now that he'd gained his composure.
I giggled, shoving him gently. "Be quiet! If I still have all of them now, there's a good chance I'll be keeping them!"
"Yeah, yeah. You better get going. Wouldn't want Arthur to leave without you." He grinned suddenly, and grabbed my wrist. "On second thought, stay and chat. It's cold out, don't you think? I could make some tea."
"Nice try," I grinned. "But I really should be going."
"Truly then, be careful," he insisted, adopting a serious expression.
"I will," I promised. "Goodbye, Desiderius."
"Goodbye, Aderyn."
Outside, the first beams of sunlight were beginning to streak across the sky, turning the expanse of dark blue to burning orange and pink and blood red. It was beautiful, but I had no time to marvel at it. I had to get back to my room and gather my things and then get to the stables to get Egryn ready for the long ride ahead.
There were more signs of movement in the city now, and I could even see Vanora at the bar in the tavern, preparing everything for the morning. I would have stopped to talk to her, but I knew I would have my chance to say goodbye when she came to see Bors off.
I was surprised to find Tristan still in our room when I got there. He had his sword and bow thrown on the bed, and was pulling on a tunic when I walked in. I caught sight of his split knuckles from punching the wall, and guilt made my stomach clench. Retrieving some bandages from the top drawer of the dresser, I dipped them in the warm water from the basin, and held it out in front of him.
"May I?" I asked, more timid than I had been with him since the early days at my cottage.
He didn't protest, so I took his hand in mine lightly, and cleaned the cuts before wrapping a dry bandage around them so they wouldn't get infected. As I turned away to get rid of the blood-soaked cloth, Tristan suddenly grabbed my bicep so tightly that I let out a yelp of pain, and whipped me around to face him. When I tried to wrestle out of his grip, he grabbed my chin hard enough it could have left bruises, forcing me to look up at him.
"Don't even think about getting killed while we're out there," he growled. "If you come back with so much as a scratch…"
His voice trailed off, and he seemed to lose the ability to finish the thought. So, as he was best at, he used actions to convey what he was thinking. He pushed his lips to mine in a violent, clashing kiss that was more painful than anything. Refusing to be cowed, I kissed back just as rough, digging my fingernails into his neck and scratching while he continued to tighten his hold on my arm and face. It was all teeth and tongue and then blood added to the mix when I bit the inside of his lip.
I pushed him away, and we stood across from each other, breathing hard. My tongue darted out to clean his blood from my bottom lip, and his eyes darkened as they followed that movement with a sort of lust I'd never seen from him before. My insides were burning. I wanted more of whatever it was that had just occurred, but we had no time. So I closed my eyes for a moment, willing my heart to stop racing, and then went to get his armor from the stand.
After I handed it to him, he pulled it on without a word, and I lifted up his arms so I could lace it at the sides myself, then pulled his cloak around his shoulders and fastened that as well. Ignoring the way he kept trying to catch my eye, I kissed the scratches I'd made on his neck, and then wiped away the beads of blood that were dotting up on some of them.
"Come on, we've got to get to the stables," I reminded him, shouldering my bow and quiver and grabbing my pack from the ground by the door. He reluctantly did the same, and we left the Keep side by side.
Galahad and Dagonet were the only ones already there. Dagonet was saddling his horse, Pagos, and the younger knight was tightening his greaves with a deep frown plastered on his face. Tristan and I went straight to our horses and began to get them ready. Galahad appeared at my stall door when I was strapping Egryn's bridle on, looking confused.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?"
"It looks like you're coming with us, but that can't be true."
"It can, actually."
His mouth dropped open. "You're not serious! Dagonet!" He looked at the other knight and pointed at me. "She's says she's coming with us!"
His brow creased concernedly as he asked, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
"Of course I am!"
"This is the most moronic thing I've ever heard," Galahad exclaimed.
Bors walked in then with Lancelot at his side, toting his saddlebags over one shoulder. "What's moronic?"
"Aderyn's going with us," Dagonet answered.
"You do realize how dangerous this is, right, Tristan?" Lancelot asked his fellow knight.
I snarled, grabbing a dagger from my saddlebags and hurling it towards Lancelot. He ducked, and it landed in the wood right where his head had been a moment ago. He stood back up straight with his eyes widened to their full capacity.
"All of you keep your mouths SHUT!" I yelled, pointing at them all in turn. "I'm not a little girl, alright?! I'm a full grown woman, and I can make my own damn decisions! Stop coddling me like I'm some delicate little flower!"
There was at least a full minute of bewildered silence, in which I seethed and the knights just gawked at me. Bors was the one to break the tension, laughing. He wrenched my knife from the stable wall, and walked over to hand it to me.
"After a throw like that, I'm not worried about you at all, love," he told me. I smiled at him hesitantly as I took my blade back, returning it to its spot in my bag. After that, all of them got back to their own business and didn't disturb me. Tristan, who'd remained undaunted by the entire display, led Isolde out of her stall and tied her to a post before he began to, yet again, sharpen his sword.
When Gawain arrived not five minutes later, he was smiling like this was the best day of his life. "Had a good night?" Bors teased him.
"Very good indeed," the blond agreed. I wondered what had him so cheery, but before I could ask, he noticed me standing there and said, "What are you doing, Aderyn?"
"She's coming with us," Lancelot informed him.
"And you should keep your mouth shut because she's a full grown woman and she can do as she pleases, and if you disagree, she'll throw a knife at your head," Galahad added.
"Well…alright then," Gawain gave up with shrug.
Once Egryn was saddled and bridled with my bags tied to his back, I buckled my sword and quiver to the saddle, and lead Egryn out to stand next to Isolde. He was beginning to get excited, prancing around and kicking up dirt.
"Stop it!" I hissed. "Try and look dignified!" He didn't listen, just started to let out deafening neighs of joy from being out of his stall. "You're an embarrassment!"
Tristan came to stand next to me, offering part of an apple to my overexcited horse. He immediately quieted down, distracted with the task of eating. Tristan offered me a section of the fruit too, and I took it gratefully, sitting down on a bale of hay next to Gawain to eat it.
Galahad was back in one of his I-hate-the-world-and-everything-in-it moods, and had climbed into the saddle and begun circling around the open area of the stables agitatedly. Arthur walked in while he was in the middle of that exercise, and his mood darkened even further. The Commander himself looked tired and worn, much older than his age. As he began to walk up the middle of the stables, Galahad galloped around him in circles in an effort to get a reaction out of him, but the older man didn't rise to the bait.
After Arthur's arrival, no one spoke anymore. I didn't really see the point in holding a grudge against him for something that was entirely the Bishop's fault, but the knights clearly weren't in the mood to listen to that sort of reason. I remained silent with the rest of them, cleaning the set of daggers I'd brought with me.
The Bishop and some of his guard arrived as Jols and Arthur were plotting out our route, and immediately all of the knights assumed offensive, threatening demeanors. Bors pulled out his sword and held it aloft, Gawain grabbed one of the daggers from my lap and began to twirl it between his fingers, and Dagonet was even bold enough to bump into the man as he walked by.
Galahad dismounted, and came over to stand near Gawain, Bors, and I. When the Bishop got close to us, he glared menacingly at him, cracking his jaw. I half expected him to throw a punch, but fortunately, he was smarter than that. Although he obviously really wanted to. If given a chance, I would have even given him a beating so I could only imagine how these men felt.
Germanius's eyes landed on me, adopting an aura of contempt, and Tristan not-so-subtly drifted over to my side, running his thumb along the flat plane of his sword blade. The Bishop eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, and then turned to Arthur.
"To represent the Holy Court, my trusted secretary Horton…Horton!" The manservant appeared, looking down his nose haughtily, "will accompany you."
Galahad made a noise of protest, but was stopped from letting out a full complaint by Dagonet, who put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.
"Jols, find him a horse," Arthur deadpanned. Gawain slammed my dagger into the wooden surface between our legs, giving the half-Roman a disbelieving look. The stablemaster looked at Arthur like he might question his authority for the first time in his life, but then seemed to think better of it.
"This way," he said to Horton, directing him towards the other side of the room.
"Godspeed as you fulfill your duty to Rome," Germanius continued with a smile.
"My duty is also to my men," Arthur reminded him.
"Then get them home." Germanius turned to leave, but then stopped and looked back at the Commander over his shoulder. "Bringing a woman with you, and a Woad no less…you think it wise? These people's allegiances change so swiftly."
I wrenched the dagger from the wood and stood up, preparing to let my outrage take me where it would, but Arthur interrupted what was sure to be a lengthy tirade when he announced, "Aderyn is a talented warrior and a valuable part of this operation. I have complete faith in her abilities and her fidelity."
His words made me flush with pleasant surprise, and I was a lot less willing to do something like attack a bishop against his command after he was so generous with my praises. The Bishop gave me one more distrustful look before he exited, and when I sat down, I flashed Arthur a smile of thanks.
Final preparations were made, and the men were completely armored and ready to go. At the last minute, Naveen, Vanora, and Elaine all bustled into the stables. Vanora, carting Gilly and her newest babe, went to Bors and began to henpeck him about the importance of keeping wounds clean. I'd thought Naveen was here for me, but was proven wrong when she jogged right past me and vaulted herself into Gawain's arms. He caught her, holding her up while she began to shower his face with kisses.
"Woman, I need to breathe!" the blond protested, smiling nonetheless.
"When did that happen?" I asked Elaine.
"Last night," she responded. "But by the looks of it, you'd think they've been running around with each other for ages."
"Well, they sort of have," I reminded her. "They just didn't realize what they were doing."
"That may just be true." She surveyed my attire, and then sighed tiredly. "I'm guessing by your apparel that Desiderius wasn't joking when he told us you were leaving."
"He told you?"
She nodded. "He came running into the tavern a few minutes ago, ranting about how you need a man that keeps you more grounded instead of fueling your crazy ambitions."
"Should I be offended?"
"No, I don't think so. He's just so insanely jealous of Tristan that he would say anything to make him look bad."
"Jealous of Tristan?" I asked.
"Isn't it obvious, Addi?" she scoffed.
Vanora swooped down us, bumping Elaine out of the way and beginning to adjust my cloak fastenings and make sure I had on warm enough clothes. "Nora, I'm fine," I grumbled, trying to swat her away. "Really, I know how to dress myself."
"Oh, I'm just so worried," she groused, tugging my belt tighter. "This is so dangerous! And you and Bors and the men…I am losing myself today!" She suddenly rounded on Bors, slapping him in the chest to get his attention.
"Gods, Nora! What is it?"
"You make sure she comes home in one piece, do you hear me?" she demanded.
"She don't need anyone to babysit her," he protested, earning himself another slap. "Ow!"
"Do you hear me?!" the redhead repeated, glowering at him.
"Alright, alright! I swear on my bloody life that she'll be good as new when we get back. Satisfied?"
"Good."
Naveen appeared then, tears in her eyes as she pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. Instead of complaining, I hugged her back just as tight.
"You bring yourself back to me, okay?" she said quietly. "You can get a little banged up, if you like, but just be alive when you ride back through those gates."
I smiled. "I promise. And then we can start planning your wedding." She let me out of her hold, pinching me under the arm viciously. "Ouch!"
"You deserved it," she said feebly, wiping her tears away. "Be careful, you pain in my ass."
"Time to head out," Arthur declared, already atop his horse.
I smiled at the three women one last time before climbing into the saddle. Egryn was practically trembling at this point, and it was all I could do to keep him from rocketing out of the stables before anyone else. The nervousness began to settle in now, knowing that I was about to embark on a journey the likes of which I'd never been on before. The only long ride I'd ever been on, I'd been knocked out for the majority of. I looked over at Tristan, and found that the reminder that I was doing this for him was all the morale I needed.
*+*Elaine*+*
They were truly leaving now. All of them were on their horses, making the last adjustments to their saddlebags and weapons. Arthur was at the head of the group, waiting for the doors to be opened to let them out. This was my last chance. If I was going to do something, I needed to do it now. Gathering all the courage I possessed, I strode up to Lancelot's horse.
"Lancelot," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. He looked down a bit apprehensively, waiting for me to say what was on my mind. I took the amulet I always wore and pulled it over my head, holding it out to him. It was a small, triangular piece with a round purple gemstone in the center and Celtic knots that bordered the rim. "This was my mother's and her mother's before her and her mother's before her. She always used to tell me that it would keep me safe when I most needed it. I want you to take it with you, for luck."
"Are you sure?" he inquired warily.
"I've never been more certain in my life."
He eyed me for a moment more, and then took the pendant. He wound the chord around the hilt of one of his swords, tying it securely. The gem sparkled prettily as it hung there. He smiled as the doors to the stables opened, and told me, "I'll bring it to you when we return, milady."
"I look forward to the day," I replied, blushing.
He winked at me, and then rode out behind Arthur. The other knights and Aderyn all blazed by me on horseback, but I kept my eyes on Lancelot, sure that when he came back, we would finally be together as we were meant to.
And there you have it! A bit of a filler, but it was in the movie so I felt like I had to include it.
So I was really happy with the reviews I got last time. Keep it up, guys, I love getting them! So I hope you're all well, and I can't wait to hear from everyone!
