Re-written Feb 28, 2009
Sora frowned at Riku with undisguised concern. Cloud's jaw tensed, his eyes flicking off to the side and away from his lover. Leon simply nodded and when into the house. Sora reluctantly followed a moment later, keeping his gaze on Riku until he disappeared through the door. Cloud and Riku remained where they were, hands still clasped.
Neither said a word.
Cloud tightened his grip for only a brief second. When he looked up, Riku met his eyes squarely and the fear was painfully clear. So was the determination. This was so typical Riku that Cloud was able to take a little comfort from it. Whatever this was about, Riku was still his Riku.
In silence, they walked inside. Leon was leaning against the kitchen partition, waiting patiently in his usual stance; Sora was fidgeting in the corner chair. Both looked over at the two coming through the door.
Cloud sat on the couch first, adopting a casual position despite that there was a very prominent terseness to it. He kept his expression bland but the tight lines near his eyes betrayed it.
Sora studied him a moment, then focused on Riku. His best friend was as terrified as he had ever seen him. Of course, he gave virtually no visible sign of I, doing a better job than Cloud, which Sora reluctantly had to admit he was impressed by.
Suddenly, Sora stood. "Riku, I need to speak to you."
"Later, Sora."
"No, now." Sora ordered firmly. Riku stared at him before reluctantly nodded. He said nothing and followed Sora back out the front door.
Sora wasted no time, speaking the moment the door shut behind them. "Are you sure about this, Riku?"
"Yes." Riku was looking down the street.
"Look me in the eyes, Riku." The brunette demanded. "Then I'll know you're telling me the truth."
It took a minute but Riku locked gazes with him. "I have to do this now."
An unspoken agreement passed and Riku abruptly gripped the smaller one tightly, shaking a little. He did not have to say anything for Sora to understand, Sora simply tightened his own arms around him for a brief moment. He poured as much support and love as he could into it.
Still silent, they went back inside. The two older men were in the exact same positions with the exact same attitudes. Sora gave Riku a quick smile of assurance and resumed his original place.
Riku seemed to think something over before returning to the couch. He sat on the edge of the cushion, about a foot from Cloud, back rigid with both hands on his knees. He closed his eyes and took a slow, even breath. "Not that I really need to say this, but don't interrupt me as I explain. When I'm finished, I'll try to answer anything you want but if I don't do this all in one shot, I don't think I'll be able to finish."
This was met with three nods he did not see. It did not matter; he already knew this would be the gesture.
"All right, all of you already know about my mother and how I've always known she hated me. People have always told me that it was all in my head and that I only thought that because we didn't get along, whatever. Well, I can now say with complete certainty that she doesn't hate me, she simply doesn't care anything about me.
"She didn't have me because she wanted a child or a family. She had me so she and her boss could prove a theory. I was never a child or even a real person to her. Once she realized that her career, her life was virtually over once I was in the picture, she came to resent me. Only her morbid need for knowledge kept her playing the role of mother."
Riku paused. He knew the others were watching him closely and he could not bring himself to look at them. He could not see their faces as he continued. It was hard enough to block out the subtle changes in emotions he could sense.
"There's a reason I was, am, so susceptible to the darkness. Why it came so easy to me and why I can wield it like I can. I guess you could say it runs in my blood.
"I'm not a normal person, if I can even really be considered human. I don't know exactly what I am. That's one of the questions I've been wrestling with my entire life. Who am I? Where am I going? Where do I come from? Why do I feel so different? I now have answers to some of these questions and I wish to whatever gods there are that I didn't."
Stopping to gather his courage, he did not think about what he was about to say. He simply let the words spill off his tongue as they would. "I wasn't born on Destiny Islands, I was brought there shortly after birth. My mother was a researcher who volunteered herself to the scientist she worked for to further an experiment of his."
He continued to stare at his hands. He could not look up, could not look at him. He just could not. "I'm the final stage of the Jenova Project."
Total silence reigned as the sentence hung in the air, clinging itself to those who had heard it. Sora should have been watching Cloud, gauging his reaction but found all of his attention on Riku. Riku's withdrawn expression paired with the immense pain and fear made his heart clench.
"What are you saying, Riku?" Cloud's voice was barely heard. Nothing of his physical appearance had changed.
Riku bit his lip. Just get it said, Riku. You can do this. "I'm Sephiroth's half-brother."
Time seemed to have completely frozen. The moment stretched into an unfathomable amount of time, waiting for something to occur.
Cloud stood and walked out.
A single, soft sob escaped Riku.
This was it. Two years of support, devotion, love destroyed by one simple sentence. He knew Cloud would not be able to simply look over something like this. How could he even consider it? Riku was part of what his lover despised more than anything; his hated enemy's blood also ran in Riku's. There was no way that could ever be okay.
"He'll be back," Leon spoke firmly, his expression absolutely certain.
Riku finally raised his head. There were no tears but it was a near thing. He said nothing but the disbelief was completely evident his face.
"Don't think so little of him, Riku."
"I don't."
"You do," Leon corrected. "You've known about this for some time, right?"
Silver hair slowly moved as Riku made an affirmative motion.
"He'll make peace with what you told him eventually. It's the fact that you've kept it hidden is where you're going to run into the most trouble. You know how important trust is to Cloud."
"Yeah."
Leon waited a moment. His eyes narrowed in thought, briefly flicking toward Sora before fixing again on Riku. "Now, explain all of this because Cloud has never gone into any detail and the little Aerith, Yuffie, and Cid have explained was confusing as all hell."
"I only know what Sephiroth told me and I know he was telling the truth because King Mickey was able to verify most of it," Riku carefully explained. His voice remained tight. "Did Cloud ever explain what Sephiroth was?"
"Outside of being his darkness, which I still say is total bull, he said something about being created to be some kind of perfect being and injected with alien cells or something before he was born. Even he seemed a bit confused as to the actual details."
"Yeah, it is confusing. Sephiroth isn't even completely certain about everything but this is what he told me. The story goes, back on their world some two thousand years ago an extraterrestrial being fell upon the Planet. She was a destroyer of worlds and the Planet was next. There were a group of people called the Cetra who had a symbiotic relationship with the Planet and they managed to stop her, sealing her away in the Great Crater where she fell.
"In the process, the Cetra became virtually extinct due to her and the story forgotten. After Shinra came to power, the remains of Jenova were discovered and she was mistaken for one to the lost Cetrans. Professors Gast, Hojo and a few others began experimenting with the cells and soon decided to artificially bring back the Cetra.
"However, every initial attempt they made failed. The cells and the person injected with them would die. They then tried to infuse a child before birth. Another scientist, Hojo's assistant, agreed to carry and give birth to the child. The baby was eventually born healthy and named Sephiroth.
"While this was happening, Gast began to devil deeper into the history of the Cetra. It turned out they weren't nearly as dead as everyone thought and he found out who Jenova really was from one of the last true Cetra. Once he had this information he tried and failed to convince Shinra to cease their efforts. He left the project then and no one is exactly sure what happened to him. Hojo took over the Science Department and continued his experiments despite knowing what Jenova truly was."
Riku took a breath. "Any way, that's how Sephiroth came to be. He was raised in the labs, had superior abilities, learned at an incredible speed, was literally the perfect specimen. Shinra was very happy with their little project and Hojo continued to tweak Sephiroth, increasing his Mako levels as he got older and shaping him into the ultimate warrior.
"Over the years, several minor flaws were discovered and corrected. When Sephiroth was sixteen, Hojo decided that he had learned enough to make an even better version of him. He also decided that it would be a good time to verify a side theory had been formed during the initial stages of the project. It was believed that Jenova's cells, in order to remain stable needed to remain close. Jenova cells would always find a way to reunite."
"And that's why you were born." Leon concluded.
"Yes. I was created the exact same way Sephiroth was. We have the same paternity but different mothers and after I was born, my mother and I were taken from the Planet and brought to Destiny Islands. I was to be told nothing and they waited to see if I would find my way back or not.
"That's why I felt so driven to leave. It was the Jenova cells trying to find their way back, trying to complete Reunion." Riku finished.
Leon was silent, mulling over the narration. His thoughts were not revealed until he shook his head. "Wow. That was… insane. To think I thought I had it rough."
"What is your story?" Sora asked curiously. Leon's past was always something he was curious about.
Leon did not even acknowledge Sora's question. "So you and Sephiroth have spoken at length about this?"
Riku nodded, flicking his bangs a bit. "I know I should have told Cloud but, you can see why I couldn't, can't you?"
Leon shrugged. "Does Sephiroth know about Cloud?"
"Yeah," answered Riku. He then stared at the floor. "Kinda."
"Kinda?" Sora gaped as Leon muttered, "That would be a no."
"Kinda?" Sora repeated. He glared at Riku with his arms folded before him. "What the hell other secrets are you hiding, Riku? Huh?"
Leon raised an eyebrow. This was the first time he had ever heard the Keyblade master even mildly swear. He kept quiet and observed the teens before him.
Riku remained silent.
"I can't believe you sometimes, Riku." Sora pouted angrily. He threw his arms down and stomped away from his chair. After everything I've done for you, you still don't trust me! What do I have to do, huh? Are you that caught up in yourself that you just subconsciously try to ruin any relationship you have?
"Well, I'll tell you right now I'm not going anywhere so you better just get used to it!" Sora threw open the door. "You deserve all the love you have, Riku. You better realize that fast."
He stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Riku actually flinched. Another minute and he dropped his head into his hands. "Great job, Riku. Way to lose both your loved ones."
"You haven't lost them." Leon countered.
"Well, Sora will probably come around but Cloud-" His voice caught. "I've lost him, I know it."
Suddenly, Riku was lifted to his feet by the front of his shirt. He was jerked forward and steel colored eyes bore harshly into his. There were no words spoken but Riku understood perfectly what Leon was not saying. If he continued wallowing in this self-pitying angst, Leon would personally put an end to it.
He focused inside himself and sought out that center of peace he kept close to his heart. While his conscience sounded like Sora, his inner calm felt like Cloud. He knew his bonds to both of them were tighter than anything. The very thought of losing either brought him nearly unbearable anguish.
He sighed after a moment and Leon let him go.
"Better?"
"No." Riku chuckled without humor. "I need a cigarette."
"Can't help you there."
"Yeah. Besides Sora really would kill me if he found out."
Leon went over to the fridge and rattled around in it for a second before reemerging with a beer bottle. "Here. Try a drink."
"It's gonna take more than a drink." Riku opened the bottle and took a long draw from it. Nearly half the bottle was consumed by it. Leon did not comment, only watching as Riku downed the rest of the beer.
Setting the empty bottle on the end table, the younger male perched himself on the couch's arm rest and looked at Leon seriously. "You really think Cloud will come back?"
"Did he take First Tsurugi?"
"No."
"Then he'll be back." Leon barely cracked a smile. "He doesn't go anywhere without his sword."
Riku snorted, not really able to appreciate the attempt at humor.
"In all seriousness, once he straightens things out in his own mind he'll be back and the two of you will have a very long talk. After that, well, that's up to the two of you."
Riku curled a lip. "You realize you're a totally different person when it comes to Cloud."
"No I'm not. I'm more myself." Leon corrected. "Cloud's become a very close friend and I protect my friends with everything I've got. I don't like conflict. Now I suggest you square things with Sora before Cloud returns."
"Sora will be okay."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Leon dropped his arms and moved away from the wall divider. "Go find him and talk to him tonight. I'm going to bed."
Riku watched the man leave a slight frown on his face. What had Leon meant by that? He knew he was referring to something beyond tonight's discussion. He had not done anything to Sora, at least not recently, and they had taken care of the past. What was there to settle with the brunet?
Knowing Leon there had to be something important he was missing. Leon never wasted words. Deciding that if nothing else it would keep him distracted from spiraling into a total meltdown worrying about Cloud, Riku stepped out to find Sora.
He was not surprised to find the younger teen sitting on top of the bailey, feet hanging over the side and gazing up at the stars. Riku found himself simply studying him for a few minutes. His feelings for the boy were complicated and probably always would be. He had tried sorting through them several times, sometimes by himself and a few times with Jacen but never really made any headway with it.
The one thing he knew for absolute certain was that he loved Sora more than nearly anything. He would easily continue to give up everything for Sora if he had to. They were closer than brothers. He was not in love with Sora nor was he ever.
"And I thought I picked remote places to brood."
Sora took a second to glance over before turning his face to the sky again. He said nothing.
Riku walked over and sat beside him. They remained there side by side for a long span of time in an uneasy quiet. Riku was uncertain what he could do to bring his friend back to his usual state. "Sora, I-"
Sora cut him off with a waved hand and he blew out a heavy breath. "I know, Riku. You're just being you. I don't really know why it's been bothering me so much lately."
Sora fell silent again. Riku did not have any response so he just waited for Sora to continue if he did. Now that he thought about it, there had been an underlying tension to Sora for a while now. Riku had been too caught up in his own drama to see it.
"I think maybe I'm a little jealous."
"Jealous?" Riku echoed.
"Yeah." Sora turned his face down, now looking at the castle. "But I don't know of what exactly. Leon said something…"
He trailed off with a shake of his head. He then suddenly faced Riku. "I'm sorry, Riku. Here you are facing this horrible thing and I'm not being a very supportive friend."
"What are you talking about? It's because of you I'm even here. I owe my life to you."
The sentence hung between them, the true depth of the words understood. It did not need to be furthered.
"I've thought about it, too," whispered Sora. "Just, ending it all. Being done with everything. I know I've saved a lot of people and done a lot of good but when I see you and how much pain you have and your struggling, I just get so mad at myself. What good is saving the worlds when I can't even help the one I love most?"
"Sora," Riku began slowly. He had never thought he would hear anything like this from Sora. "You have helped me more than you can possibly imagine. I'm sorry I haven't been able to properly tell you how important you are. I guess I always just kind of hoped you understood."
The brunette studied his swinging feet. A thoughtful look was on his face and when he looked again to Riku, there was something different in his eyes. Almost as if steeling himself for the worst, he leaned toward Riku.
Then he kissed him.
It was just a light touching of lips for a few seconds. When Sora pulled away, Riku only watched him curiously and waited for Sora to explain. That had been unexpected.
Sora's eyes were closed, clearly mulling over something. When they opened, there was a hint of sadness in those blues, and the soft smile he gave was bittersweet. He also seemed to have come to some kind of peace with himself.
Suddenly, Riku understood everything. Sora was struggling with what he himself had a few years ago. In the end, he had decided that while he loved Sora, he was not in love with him. What would Sora's revelation be?
"You really love him."
Riku knew who Sora meant. "Yeah, I do."
The brunet nodded slowly. "And you love me, don't you?"
"Yes, but it's not the same."
"I love you." Sora's voice was firm. "But you're right. It's not romantic."
They sat once again in silence but without the earlier tension. Now that the weirdness was out in the open, both felt considerably better. Somehow they knew their relationship would be even stronger now.
"It's gonna be okay, Riku."
"That's what I keep trying to tell myself."
"Cloud will forgive you. I feel it in my heart," Sora said with absolute certainly. "Besides, I saw how he looked at you when we first got here. There's no way anyone can simply stop a love that strong."
Riku's lower lip twitched. "I hope that's true, Sora but, Cloud's heart is fragile. He's still healing from deep wounds made years ago. It's no small miracle that we've made it as far as we have."
"So Cloud's damaged. So are you, so am I, so is Leon, all of us are damaged somehow. We deal with it and heal." Sora grinned viciously. "And if he ever hurts you, he'll answer to me."
Riku chuckled. "Worlds help him."
"It's true the other way, too. Cloud's my friend and I won't let him get hurt either."
Riku met Sora's eyes and nodded. "I understand."
"Good." Sora looked happy. He stood and held out a hand. "So, let's go break into Scrooge's and get some ice cream."
Riku stared in shock for a second before taking the smaller boy's hand. As he was pulled up, he grinned. "I think I'm a bad influence."
"Nah, me and Yuffie were doing it almost from the first day."
They walked from the roof edge toward the interior where they could climb back down.
"Hey, Sora?"
"Yeah?"
"It was kinda nice kissing you." Riku quietly admitted.
"Would have been better if you'd kissed back but I guess that would have been cheating."
"Just a little." They dropped down to the lower level. "So have you figured out what to do about Kairi?"
"I knew that was coming," Sora groaned. "No, though I think I really do like her in that way."
"Maybe you should try kissing her when we get back," Riku commented. "It worked to clear things with me."
"Yeah." Sora rubbed the back of his head. "Maybe I should."
Taking the steps two at a time, Sora bounded ahead of Riku. He then had to stop at the bottom and wait. While Riku appeared more relaxed than before, he knew his best friend was still trembling in fear inside. There was nothing he could do about that which pained him. The best he could do was distract Riku until Cloud returned.
However long that was.
Riku joined him and Sora grabbed his arm. "Come on! You gotta try this cookie dough one."
The pair took off running through the dark streets.
