"Does it have to be tonight?" Heather asked, her hair still a mess from her last date.
"Don't worry, Heather," Ike said, "Ilyana is a lot gentler than Mia. You'll be fine."
"Thank the goddesses…" Heather said, "I mean Mia is fun, but she can tire me out big time!"
Heather wrapped her mink coat around her. "How do I look boys?"
"Like you just rolled in a trampled rabbit," Soren responded.
"Shh… don't say the 'R' word, she might hear you!" Ike said.
"I heard him," Heather said, "But I'm not offended by the word 'rabbit'… even though this is mink."
"I don't think she's here yet, Ike," Soren said calmingly.
"But you can never be too careful. She's known to pop up when you least…"
"Did somebody say rabbit?" a quiet female voice asked. Ike leaped up and nearly hit the ceiling.
"She's here," Soren muttered.
"Hey!" Heather said, "You're that cutie from the war!"
"Have we met?" Ilyana asked, "I think you might have given me food once…"
"Yes, that's exactly it!" Heather said gleefully, "You DO remember me!" Heather hugged Ilyana.
"Great! And we're getting food today too right?" Ilyana asked.
"Of course," Ike said, "Let's go to the inn."
---
"Wow," Calill said, upon seeing the crew, "Two mages. You two are going to have to come with me later on and perform a trinity."
"Don't worry about that," Ike said, "Soren is the best mage around."
"Use your fire!" Ilyana told Calill.
"I would anyway. Come on, let's get you seated," Calill shouted.
"What's for dinner?" Ilyana asked.
"Spaghetti," Calill responded. A clang was heard in the kitchen. "Hold on, guys, I need to go yell at my husband."
"I understand the urge," Soren joked meanly.
"Hey!" Ike laughed.
"So, you like girls, right?" Ilyana asked.
"Yep," Heather said, "Love them."
"So you would be seduced into getting me food by my cuteness!" Ilyana squealed gleefully, "That Zihark is a real bore, and he chews me out for everything!"
Ike began to tap his fingers on the table. "What are you doing?" Soren asked.
"They should be here by now," Ike responded.
"Who?" Heather asked.
"I don't know… Sothe and Micaiah!" Ike guessed randomly.
"Why would those two be on a date here?" Soren asked.
"The same reason Leanne and Naesala were and Jill and Haar were?" Ike asked. "Give me a break, it's not like this isn't the best date spot on Tellius!"
"Did someone say our names?" a young man asked.
"Speak of the devil…" Soren said.
"Oh, hello, Ike! I see you and that boy you're always with have got yourselves some girls," Micaiah said. "Which is weird because I always thought…"
Sothe whispered to her, "It's another couple."
"Oh, it is? I never got these ideas of 'warm feelings' from either of those two…" Micaiah responded.
"It's called love, dumbass!" Soren shouted, "And furthermore, this is their first date."
"Date? Date!?" Ilyana asked, "I love tropical fruits!! Are they dried?"
"Not that kind of date," Ike muttered.
"Say," Ilyana said, changing the subject, "Shouldn't our spaghetti be here by now?"
"Spaghetti!" Micaiah shouted, "Simple, yet appetizing!"
"I'M HUNGRY!" Ilyana roared. She began to gnaw on Ike's arm.
"Umm… ow?" Ike said weakly.
"I figured something like this would happen so I packed a roll," Soren said, reaching into his bag, "Knock yourself out, Ilyana."
"How can anyone live with her?" Sothe asked.
Ike responded, "The world may never know."
Ilyana shouted excitedly, "CANDY!!!!"
"Where did that come from?" Heather asked.
"Who knows?" Ike asked, "She just gets weird when she hasn't eaten."
"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING SPAGHETTI!?" Ilyana screamed.
"It'll be out in a minute," Calill said, hearing the obscene cry of anguish. She turned back to see her husband with the pot of sauce, the pot of noodles on his head.
"LARGO!" Calill screamed.
"It was AMY, I swear!" he shouted.
The little girl responded, "I didn't do it."
Heather thought fast, and went over to the market across the street, stealthy as a chameleon, and brought back some food for Ilyana.
"I thought you said you didn't like being dishonest when we invited you to join us on the last date," Soren said, somewhat hurt.
"I don't," Heather said, "But this is an emergency."
Ilyana began to eat the food, not merely happily, but ecstatically. Her eyes softened in bliss, and she looked directly in Heather's eyes. "Oh, goddess," she said, "I think I love you."
Twenty minutes later, the spaghetti came out. "FINALLY!" Ilyana shouted. She ate it so quickly that when her tablemates blinked, it was gone.
"Soren, can I have yours?" Ilyana asked.
"Yes," Soren responded, at the same time Ike responded, "No." They looked at each other confusedly.
"Well, then, Micaiah can I have yours?" Ilyana asked.
"Mooch off someone else, why don't you?" Sothe asked rudely.
"Ike, can I…" Ilyana asked, but before the words came out the plate was clean.
"Sothe!" Ilyana said, despairingly.
"Ilyana, what on earth are you talking about? You have food…" he said. Heather's plate had made its way to Ilyana's place.
"But you already gave me food," Ilyana said.
"I know," Heather said, "But you were hungry. I couldn't let a gorgeous little girl like you go hungry."
"I really think I love you," Ilyana said gleefully.
"Aww… now I am getting that 'warm feeling' from them too!" Micaiah said proudly.
"It. Is. Called. LOVE!" Soren shouted. "Love! Why are you so afraid to say that word?!"
"I'm not," Micaiah said.
"Then why don't you EVER SAY it?" Soren asked.
"It's… well, it's a bit premature to…" Micaiah said.
"Premature to call me and Ike love, or Naesala and Leanne love, or YOU AND SOTHE love? Honestly, Micaiah, when will it NOT be premature?" Soren asked.
"Soren," Ike said, "You need to calm down." He then kissed Soren and led him to their room.
"Love? Warm?" Ilyana asked, "I love warm bread!"
"Sothe," Micaiah said, "What is his problem?"
"He just hates it when people beat around the bush," Sothe responded honestly.
Ilyana followed Heather up to her room.
"Smell you later, Daein!" Heather shouted.
"Mmm…" Ilyana said, "Daein smells like bratwurst…"
------
Soren was crying when they got up to the room. "I'm sorry," Soren said.
"Why?" Ike asked.
"Because I was taking something out on Micaiah… that I should've taken out on you years ago."
"Me?" Ike asked, "What did I do?"
"You beat around the bush. You gave me stealth compliments, and little bits and pieces of affection but you never told me how you felt…" Soren said, "And it infuriated me… because until that one day you said it in so few words… I didn't even know it was mutual."
"I'm… I'm sorry," Ike said, giving Soren a tender kiss. "I was just so insecure, and there was no way for me to tell you I loved you until I knew for sure you loved me."
Soren stopped crying and began to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" Ike asked curiously.
"Because we were both so afraid of rejection, that we made it impossible for the other one to do what they wanted to all along," Soren laughed, "Aren't we pathetic?"
"Of course," Ike responded, "And that's why we found each other." Ike kissed Soren gently on the cheek, and then the two of them fell asleep in each other's arms.
------
"Ilyana," Heather asked, "Do you want to lick and nip at me?"
"Oh, yes," Ilyana responded, "You might not be a snack but you still look delicious!"
"Ilyana," Heather said, "The way into your heart is through your stomach correct?"
"That's right!" Ilyana shouted.
"So as long as I continue to cook, you will continue to be happy?"
"That is correct," Ilyana answered, licking at Heather and nibbling on her.
"Ilyana," Heather said, "You would make a great girlfriend."
"Oh, thank you," Ilyana said. As the night went on, Ilyana would get hungry, and somehow, Heather always found something to feed her.
----
"How did it go?" Ike asked when Heather came down. Ike and Soren were well-rested compared to how they had been in previous nights, and opted for juice over tea.
"It went… awesome!" Heather said. Ilyana soon followed, eating a bon-bon.
"Heather's great! She unconditionally feeds me and I can remember her name!" Ilyana shouted proudly.
Calill wandered into the room, and noticed Soren and Ilyana sitting at the table. "Hey, you guys forgot about our trinity plan!" she shouted.
"Oh, you're right!" Soren said, putting his hands on his cheeks in faux disbelief. "We have to do the trinity! Heather, Ike, and Largo if you're in earshot, LEAVE THE BUILDING!"
"But I wanna see," Ike said.
"I said LEAVE!" Soren ordered.
"Can I look in through the window?" Ike asked eagerly.
Soren said flatly, "I don't see why not."
Ike looked in through the window and saw a beautiful collage of colors. And a horrifically wrecked kitchen.
"You're cleaning this up," Ilyana and Soren said in unison to Calill before leaving.
"Damn," she muttered, picking up a broom.
Heather began thinking about her next date; the one with the beautiful Lucia. Sure, she thought, it's dishonest, but she wants me, and honestly, I want her.
