I own none of the characters of Bones
Bones' POV
Over the next couple of weeks Booth made a lot of progress. I loved going to see him everyday and listening to him proudly tell me everything that he had accomplished that day. For the most part he seemed to be in better sprits but he still had his bad days, like the first day he tried to walk. As I sat on a chair watching him struggle as he used his arms to push himself across the parallel bars, my heart broke. I wasn't used to seeing my friend, the man I loved, struggle so much, both physically and emotionally. When he was halfway across he gave up.
"My chair. I need my chair." He grunted.
"Come on, Seeley. You can finish." David encouraged.
"My…chair…now." Sighing, David retrieved Booth and placed him back in his chair and handed him a towel so he could mop up the sweat that had accumulated on his face.
"Take a break for now and we'll try again in a little while."
"What the hell is the point?" Booth shouted.
"The point is it will help you, Booth." I yelled. I knew that he was hurt and angry but I knew that I couldn't coddle him anymore because if I did, these angry outbursts would continue. He looked at me in shock but I continued yelling.
"Ever since this happened all you have done was bitch about how much you hate being in your wheelchair and how badly you want to walk again but every time someone tries to help you and it makes you uncomfortable, you throw a fit and act like a child. We all know how hard this is for you but have you ever considered how hard it is for Parker and me to see you so unhappy?" I knew that I was being selfish but I couldn't stop myself.
"That night at the pool when you abandoned your son because you were too embarrassed to let David help you, Parker was devastated. He was so excited to spend the evening with you and you ruined that for him. I tried as hard as I could to make it up to him but I'm not his father. I wasn't the one he wanted to be with. It was you, in a life jacket, in the pool that was who he wanted, not me." I saw the hurt in his face but I just kept going.
"I hate to you so unhappy, so miserable. It makes me miserable to see you like this. I wish like hell that I could take this all away from you, but I can't." I wiped away the angry tears that were falling from eyes. "I want you to be happy again, Booth. I want to see you smile and if I could take this away from you, I would. I wake up every day wishing it was me that was shot and paralyzed, not you. You didn't deserve this."
"Bones…"
"When you decide to quit feeling sorry for yourself give me a call, Booth." I shot before I stormed out ignoring his pleas to come back.
I somehow managed to make it to my car through my tears. Once I was safely closed inside my car, I let my sobs come. I hated how cruel I was to him but he was frustrating the hell out of me. All David and I wanted to do was help him and he was making it so hard. Over the past few weeks I had been patient and kind with him but maybe that wasn't what he needed. He was constantly feeling sorry for himself and it wasn't doing any good. Maybe he needed a swift kick in his paralyzed ass to get him out of his funk, or maybe I just set him back and ruined his progress. I was so confused, so I called the person who I knew could always set me straight.
"Hey, sweetie." Angela answered.
"Ange, I need you." I sniffed
"Are you okay?"
"Can you meet me at my apartment?"
"I'm on my way."
"And bring beer." I asked. I really needed a drink.
--
Booth's POV
I sat in stunned silence after Bones stormed out of the room. I was shocked, hurt, embarrassed and angry as hell at her outburst. I was shocked because I had only seen her that angry a few times and it was never directed at me before. I was embarrassed because she called me out on everything, and it hurt to have it pointed out to me. I was angry but not at he; I was mad at myself. She was absolutely right. I was acting like a child and I deserved every true, hurtful thing she said to me.
"I'm going back to my room." I mumbled to David who had witnessed my ass getting ripped. He thankfully didn't argue with me. He just moved out of the way so I could pass by him. When I got to my room, I wheeled myself over to my bedside table and picked up the picture of Parker that Bones had brought me. I hated myself for hurting my child. I knew that he was disappointed that I didn't swim with him that night. He was quieter than usual when he returned and I should have apologized right then, but because I was so self absorbed in my own misery I didn't realize how much misery I was inflicting on my child and best friend. I had to make it right by him. I picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Rebecca. It's me."
"How are you doing, Seeley?"
"Shitty right now. Can I talk to Parker?"
"Hang on." I waited patiently while she retrieved Parker. I couldn't help but smile when I heard his sweet voice.
"Hi, daddy."
"Hi, bub. I need to talk to you."
"Am I in trouble?"
"No, Parker. You're not in trouble. I want to tell you that I'm sorry for not going swimming with you last week."
"Why didn't you? I really wanted to show you everything that I had learned in my swimming lessons." I was now feeling like a total ass.
"I know that you wanted to show me your cannon ball. I really wanted to see it."
"Then why didn't you swim with me and Bones?' I sighed.
"Because I was embarrassed, Parker."
"Why were you embarrassed, daddy?"
"Parker I can't walk. My friend David would have had to carry me into the pool and I didn't want other people, you or Bones to see that."
"That's silly daddy. I saw lots of mommy's and daddy's getting carried into the pool and they weren't embarrassed."
"I know, Parks. I was being silly. When you come to stay with me this weekend would you go swimming with me?"
"Do you promise that you'll swim with me this time?" I knew that if I made this promise to my son I had to keep it and I knew that it was a promise that I was ready to keep.
"I promise, Parker."
"Will Bones come too?" I cringed when he asked that question. She probably will never speak to me again.
"I'll ask her, Parker, but she might have other plans."
"Okay."
"I have to go exercise, Parks, so I will call you tomorrow okay?"
"Okay. I love you, daddy, and you don't have to be embarrassed around me." I stifled a sob but silent tears rolled down my cheek.
"I love you too, Parker."
After I hung up with Parker I wheeled myself out of my room and went to look for David. I had suddenly discovered a new sense of determination and I needed to prove to myself that it was real before I called Bones to beg for her forgiveness.
"Got a minute, David?" I asked when I found him. He nodded in response to my question. Great, I managed to piss him off too. "I'm sorry for snapping and acting like an ass. If you're willing, I would like to get back on the parallel bars." I said sheepishly.
"I'm more than willing. Let's go." David and I went into the exercise room and I positioned myself in front of the parallel bars. "You ready?'
"Let's do this." I reached up and pulled myself up. Using every bit of strength I had I slowly, very slowly inched my way to the end of the parallel bars. I can't remember the last time that I had worked so damn hard. I felt like I was dragging a ton of cement behind me. I silently begged and pleaded with my legs to feel something, anything, but they failed me and I felt nothing. About thirty minutes later, I made it to the end and thankfully David helped me back into my chair.
"I'm not being…an ass but please…tell me what is…the point…if I can't…feel my legs?" I panted to David as I mopped the sweat off of my face.
"It's quite possible that by putting pressure on your legs you may eventually feel sensation again." David explained.
"Possible, eventually?" I snapped before I could stop myself.
"I'm sorry Seeley but I can't guarantee that you will ever walk again. By doing this you can only improve your chances."
"Thanks." I mumbled. "I'm going to call it a night. I'll see in the morning." I needed time alone to figure out if I could salvage any but of my relationship with Bones.
"Good night, Seeley."
--
Bones' POV
"So are you just going to sit there and drink or are you going to tell me what happened between you and Booth?" Angela asked me
"I was a selfish bitch." I moaned into my beer.
"Bren, that is not true. You don't have a selfish bone in your body."
"I yelled at him. I basically told him that he was a bad father and that he was acting like a child."
"Oh, sweetie, you didn't." I nodded miserably.
"I did. He was trying to walk and he got frustrated and gave up. I rubbed it in his face that he ruined Parker's plan when he wouldn't go swimming. I hate seeing him like this, Ange."
"You can't deal with him being paralyzed?" She asked sounding somewhat surprised and I just laughed (probably had to due with the alcohol that I was drinking).
"His paralysis doesn't bother me at all. What I hate seeing is how unhappy he is. He hates his current situation, which I can't blame him, but it hurts me that he is hurting so badly. He is feeling sorry for himself because he is convinced that he is going to spend the rest of his life alone because Parker will eventually become ashamed of him, which is total bullshit. For someone that is so good a reading complete strangers where is his magical powers when it comes to the people standing right in front of him."
"Why can't he see that I love him and I won't ever leave him? I don't want to leave him. Why can't he see that Parker will never be ashamed of him?" My sobs had returned by this time and because of that and the alcohol I had drunk I was struggling to get the words out. "I can't believe that I told him that he was a bad father. He will probably never forgive me and then I'll never know."
"You'll never know if he feels the same." Angela whispered and I barley heard her. I sent her a confused look.
"What are you talking about?" I asked her.
"Bren, you said that you love him and you're worried that if he doesn't forgive you, then you'll never know if he loves you too." My sobs increased and Angela took me into her arms and held me until I finally calmed down. "You okay, sweetie?" She whispered softly after I blew my nose.
"No. I love him so much Angela. The fact that he is in a wheelchair doesn't change that in the least. In fact, I love him more because I see how strong he is but now I've gone and ruined everything."
"I know that Booth feels the same way, Bren. He is in love with you too and I believe that no matter what you said, if there is something to forgive, Booth will forgive you."
"No he won't." I said miserably as I opened my third beer.
"I think you should slow down." Angela recommended.
"I will when it stops hurting." She flashed me a sympathetic smile. "Oh well, at least I got to kiss him once." Angela choked the swig of beer she had just taken.
"You kissed him?" She practically shouted and I nodded. "Temperance Brennan, how could you not have told me? How could I not have known? When did this happen?"
"The Christmas before last. Caroline agreed to arrange the trailer for my family if I would kiss Booth on the lips for five steamboats."
"Is he a good kisser? I bet that he is a good kisser." I smiled at the memory of our one and only kiss.
"He is the best kisser that I have every encountered." I said wistfully as the tears started filling my eyes again. I felt Angela take my hand.
"Bren, sweetie, look at me." I slowly raised my eyes to meet her compassionate brown ones. "I promise that you and Booth will have many more kisses."
"You can't promise something like that." I mumbled although I wished like hell she could.
"I can, because I know that you and Booth are meant to be together, no matter what happened tonight."
"Thanks, Ange, but I don't think so." My cell phone chose that minute to ring. I picked it up and immediately recognized the number of the rehab center. "It's him." I told her suddenly terrified.
"Answer it."
"I don't know if I can."
"Answer it, Bren." She demanded and with a shaking hand I answered my phone.
"Hi, Booth." I slurred.
"Bones, have you been drinking?"
"Yep."
"Why?"
"'Cause I hurt your feelings." He was silent for a minute.
"I wanted to talk to you about that but I can tell that you're not up to it right now. Can you meet me here for breakfast in the morning?"
"I have to work in the morning." I argued. I wasn't ready to face him.
"You can go in late if you want to." He countered. I covered the mouthpiece with my hand.
"He wants to meet me for breakfast in the morning," I whispered
"Go." I shook my head. "Go, Brennan." I sighed and uncovered the mouthpiece.
"I'll be there, Booth."
"Great. I'll see you then." We experienced a moment of awkward silence, something we have never had to deal with before. "Uhh, tell Ange I said hi." A giggle escaped from me.
"Goodnight, Booth."
"Night, Bones." I disconnected the call and grabbed another beer, hoping that the liquid courage lasted through breakfast tomorrow morning.
--
Booth's POV
I was still glad that my charm worked even in the rehab center. I managed to convince the morning staff to help set up a private breakfast in my room for Bones and me. I knew the public setting of the dinning room wouldn't be the best place to have this conversation. As I sat there waiting my stomach churned with butterflies. I don't remember the last time I was this nervous. The soft knock at my door caused me to jump.
"Come in." I called and when she walked in I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. She must have had a lot to drink last night because she looked so hung over. Although I didn't laugh I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.
"Not one word." She snapped.
"Then the whole point of you coming here this morning would be pointless." She removed her sunglasses and sent me a death glare and I retaliated with my charm smile.
"How did you pull this off?" She asked as she motioned to the table.
"I have connections. Please sit down." She did as I asked. "How do you feel?"
"How do you think I feel?" She snapped.
"So I take it you're probably not going to be eating?"
"It would be rude if I didn't eat since you invited me for breakfast, so I'll have a cup of coffee and a piece of dry toast." I smirked as I poured her coffee and then handed her a piece of toast.
"I'm sorry for everything that I said yesterday." She blurted out a few minutes after I started shoveling my eggs in my mouth. She always had the best timing because my mouth was full and I couldn't respond right away. I quickly swallowed my food, almost choking in the process. "Please forgive me, Seeley." She whispered.
"I'm sorry, Bones. I can't forgive you." She looked crestfallen and her eyes filled with tears. She spoke again before I could finish what I wanted to say.
"I realize that and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness because what I said was inexcusable. I was just hoping that maybe…"
"Temperance, please stop talking for a minute." Her mouth snapped shut. "The reason that I can't forgive you…"
"Is because I don't deserve it."
"Bones let me talk." I demmanded
"Sorry." She mumbled.
"The reason that I can't forgive you is because you did nothing that needs to be forgiven." She opened her mouth to speak but I gave her a close motion with my fingers and she complied. "I told you when this all started that it was going to be rough and I was going to be an ass. I have been a huge ass for the past few weeks, hell since this whole nightmare began. Last night you said some things that really hurt me but the truth is I needed to hear it."
"I have been so consumed with my own feelings that I haven't thought of anyone else's. I didn't realize how much I had hurt Parker when I didn't go swimming and I wouldn't have realized it had you not told me. I didn't know how much I was hurting you, Bones, so it should be me asking for forgiveness, not you. Please, Temperance, forgive me for hurting you." She nodded through her tears. "After you bitched me out, I called and asked Parker's forgiveness and we made plans to swim on Friday night."
"Don't bail on him again." She warned.
"I won't." I smiled softly at her. "One more thing. I don't appreciate you saying that you should have been the one that was shot. Why would you say such a thing?"
"Because I hate seeing you hurt so much. I don't have any children and I can still do my job from a chair. It would just be easier for you." She told me softly and I truly hated myself right then.
"Don't think like that, Bones. I'm glad that you weren't shot. I'm not happy that I was shot but I NEVER want you to be hurt, physically or emotionally."
"I also got back on the parallel bars after you took off and I made it all the way across."
"I'm so proud of you."
"I can't promise you that I won't be an ass again. In fact I can promise you that I will be an ass again, probably on multiple occasions and when that happens I need you to promise me that you will do exactly what you did last night and put me in my place again. Can you do that?" She sent me that gorgeous confident smile that I love.
"I can definitely do that."
"I know I could count on you, Bones."
"You can always count on me."
"I know I can."
--
Over the next week and a half I worked my ass off with very little attitude. I kept my promise to Parker and we went swimming. I hated that David had to carry me in the pool but I swallowed my pride and in the end Parker, Bones and I had a blast. I was surprised by how much I was able to do with Parker in the pool. David thought that it would be a good idea for me to go out into the real world before I was released so David, Bones and I went to the grocery store dinner and a movie. I had a blast at the grocery store as well.
I got into one of those motorized wheelchairs with the basket attached and Bones and I got a lot of non-perishables that I could eat when I moved in. The dinner and movie didn't go as smoothly as the trip to the grocery store. My pride got the better of me when we arrived at the restaurant and I stubbornly refused to go in for ten minutes because I was convinced that everyone was staring at me. Eventually, Bones convinced me otherwise and we went in but I pretty much sulked the whole time.
I was in a pretty crabby mood by the time we got to the theater and the only handicap seating was in the front, so I spent the first hour complaining how much I hated sitting at the front because it hurt my neck to keep looking up. I finally stopped when Bones got up and left. We tried the dinner and movie again at the end of the week, just her and me, and it went much better. I didn't think about what other people were thinking about me and I just enjoyed the company of the fabulous woman that I was with.
Before I knew it, I was checking out of my home for the past six weeks and was on my way to my new home. I had a bittersweet goodbye with David who promised to keep in touch and visit me often.
"Are you okay?" She finally asked me. I had hardly spoken a word the entire drive home.
"Yeah, I guess. My future in this chair seems so real right now." I said sadly.
"Hopefully it won't always be like this." I reached over, grabbed her hand and squeezed it.
"Thanks for your support, Bones." A few minutes later she pulled into her parking lot. I hated the fact that I had to wait in the car while she unloaded my chair. She came around and I opened my door, easily transferring myself from her car into my chair. She grabbed my luggage, another thing that was screwing with my pride, and we headed into the building. During the ride in the elevator she handed me a key.
"What's this?" I asked
"This is your home now and you should have a key."
"I really don't need this, Bones. It's not like I'm going anywhere." She shot me a glare. "Thanks." I mumbled.
When we got to her door, she stared at me until I took my new key and unlocked the door to my new home. I sat in my chair unable to move forward, not only into the apartment, on with my life. She walked in and set my luggage down and then returned to the doorway.
"I know your scared but it will be okay. Please come in." I looked into her eyes and I made my decision. I pushed myself in. "Welcome home, Booth."
Thank you so much for reading. I would really enjoy ready your reviews (Hint hint) Thanks Vebbie for your help with this chapter
