Chapter 7
Clary POV
DISCLAIMER: I Do not own TMI only the plot o the story. Certain lines in this chapter are from The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones that was written by Cassandra Clare, I've simply used her beautiful words in my fanfic(: Enjoy!
I have know sense of how long I've been lying here alone on this booth but I can say that my entire body now hurts from Sebastian beating me and that I have nowhere else to go.
So lay here I shall.
It's gotten darker and I feel myself drifting in and out of sleep. I know I shouldn't, I should stay awake in case I'm attacked by a demon or something. But then again…what else do I have to live for right now? What have I done? My brother no longer wants me and I've pushed away the friends that have accepted me like no one else had in my painfully forgotten life. I feel another sob choke my throat, I bite it down as best as I can. You're a shadowhunter Clarissa, act like it.
I must've fallen asleep. There's a breaking noise that startles me awake, making my body start to hurt again, and makes me want to do nothing more but hide. I stay curled up as best as I can, not making a sound. I wait for the scent of rotting garbage to hit me, but when it doesn't, I spare a look up.
I see Simon hovering over me immediately as I lift my head up, I gasp and scramble back into the wall that connects the booth, I whimper when it hits the side Sebastian kicked.
"Hey, Clare. It's okay." He whispers, I look around to see if the others are around.
"They're keeping watch outside, I can't tell you how much Jace wanted to come in with me to find you." He says, answering my unvoiced question.
I have no idea what to say, "You guys…came for me?" My voice is barely a whisper.
"Of course Clare, You would've and have done the same for us. We're your friends and I know you may not remember it but you can trust us."
I ignore the pain in my body and stretch out to hug my best friend, I'm starting to figure why he's my best friend. When we release he looks me up and down before touching my cheek; which I imagine has a bruise on it.
"Clary who did this to you?" He asks me, but I feel like he already knows the answer.
"He doesn't want me, Si. He said I was a useless bitch whose been holding my mother and him back since I was born. He…he told me it was no wonder our dad left us." My voice is shaking by the end and I feel silent tears fall from my face once again from the pain of rejection.
"You don't need him Clary, you never did. He's a jerk and the Clave hates him, you've got to believe us." Simon tells me.
"IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE?" Both of our heads snap in the direction of Jace's voice outside.
"COMING OUT." Simon replies to him before turning his attention to me, "Can you walk?"
Uncertainly, I get up. I put weight on my left leg and then a sharp stab from my right ankle makes me lose my balance, adding a sprained ankle to my list of injuries. Great.
"I got you." Simon says, swooping me up bridal style and with that, all of the little energy I had left is gone.
"Thank you Si." I say quietly, resting my head on his chest.
"Any day, Red." Ugh, I hate that name.
As we walk out I tune out what's happening around me, I know Simon is retelling what I told him inside. I can tell by the shocked expressions around me and how their eyes keep shifting towards my bruises. They seem angry. I slip out of consciousness when Simon begins walking.
When my eyes open again we're still walking down the street. I see Jace and Alec in front talking in hushed voices. Simon is still carrying me and is talking to Izzy next to, I can't make out what they're saying.
"Hey there sleepyhead." Izzy says, when she sees I'm awake. I offer her a small smile.
" I'm sorry." I say to Simon, "I can walk from here, it can't be too far."
Simon looks at Izzy and then at me, he looks uncertain but lets me down. I groan softly as my ankle takes on my body weight but otherwise fight through the pain.
"Simon I told you to carry her." Jace says, turning around.
"But-"
"I'm perfectly capable of walking on my own." I tell him defiantly as I limp down the street.
He rolls his eyes and swiftly scoops me into his arms before I can say anything, "You're just as stubborn as I remember you being." He says.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask him.
A small smile forms on his face that makes my heart skip, it feels…familiar. He shakes his head and continues to walk.
"Let's get you fixed up." Jace says, gently placing me on 'my' bed in the institute, or at least the bed that was supposedly mine before I disappeared.
I watch him go into one of the bedside table drawers and take out a stele, he sit's down next to me on the bed and takes my arm, in the light I can see the hands shaped bruise encircling it. As he draws the rune on my upper forearm I watch as the bruises begin to fade, as with the ones on rest of my body.
"Have you ever hit your sister?" I ask him curiously.
He looks up at me, eyes wide, "I would never do that to her. And if anyone did I would kill them, like I'm going to kill your brother for touching you like that."
A chill runs through my body at his words, "You all really seem to hate him. Why don't you hate me that much?"
He looks up at me again, "Oh Clare, If only you could remember the terrible things he's done in the past couple of months, he killed my little brother."
My eyes go wide, "Max." I say before thinking.
Jace's eyes light up and the name that comes out of his mouth, but he doesn't push me.
"You're not like him," He says, walking to the door of my room, "You're the opposite; angel and devil."
After he leaves I get up, happy that my ankle is healed, to quickly shower and change. I'm exhausted, but when I lay in my bed I find I can't fall asleep. I'm not even sure I do fall asleep rather than sucked into memories I don't even remember making:
There they were, the Lightwoods: Maryse with her arms around Isabelle, who was sobbing, and Robert Lightwood sitting on the ground and holding something- no, someone, and I thought of the first time I'd seen Max, at the institute, lying limp and asleep on a couch, his glasses knocked askew and his hand trailing along the floor. "He can sleep anywhere," Jace had said, and he almost looked as if he were sleeping now, But I knew he wasn't.
A sick feeling in my stomach leads me to believe a couple of things: a) This was in Idris, b) That is Jace's little brother c) this is all my brother's fault.
I suddenly feel overwhelmed by the information I've just obtained, suffocated by it. I want to forget, I want to forget so badly it hurts. I kick the covers off of me and curl into a ball, I seem to be doing that a lot now. The image of the dead boy sticks in my mind until I want to scream. Before I think about my actions I'm already scrambling out of bed, out my door to the other side of the hallway.
Jace props himself up when he hears the door open, I can tell he was sleeping by the way he squints his eyes from the light filtering in from the hallway and his tousled hair.
"Clary?" His words are slurred ever so slightly.
"Jace, I… I'm sorry I don't even know why I'm here. You're the only person I thought of coming to but it's really late…erm, early in the morning and I shouldn't have-"
"Come here." He says, shutting me up from my rushed words.
Without thinking I crawl under the covers next to him in his bed, I don't think to touch him until he wraps one of his strong arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
"What's on your mind?" He asks me.
"I remembered something." I say, taking in a shaky breath as he looks down at me curiously, "We were in Idris. I guess we had come back from something, I don't know what, but then there's your brother Max being held by your father and you all looked so distraught and I just knew that this was my brother's fault and words cannot describe how sorry I am Jace. I'm so so sorry." A couple of stray tears leak out of my eyes by the end.
"Hey." He says, taking my face in his hands and wiping the tears away with his thumbs, "What are you apologizing for? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."
"Not just that. I've been such a bitch to you and you don't deserve that, Jace. I'm sorry and I understand if you hate me and never want to for-"
"I could never hate you Clare." He tells me, looking me straight in the eye, "We've been through so much together, you may not remember it now, but you will. You may not remember it but I love you to the moon and back, and I'm pretty positive you felt the same way."
I have no idea how to reply, he loves me. I belong somewhere, but I don't remember. I rest my head on Jace's chest and close my eyes for a second, he feel familiar, like my hands have touched him a million time but my mind was never there.
"Tell me a story." I ask him, "About us."
I can tell he's thinking for a second, "You know you saved my life once. Like literally brought me back to life."
I look up at him, eyes wide, "I did? Why would I want to bring you back to life?" I say sarcastically.
He puts a hand on his heart with a look of mock pain, "You wound me Clarissa. I mean who wouldn't want all of this sexiness alive for himself?"
I giggle, "I have no idea what I was thinking."
He clutches his heart, making me laugh out loud "Your words hurt Clary, like knives through my heart." He says poetically.
"I mean I guess I'm glad I kept you around." I say to him, he smiles down at me. His smile is beautiful.
I snuggle closer to him, feeling tired again.
"Sleep easy Clary."
His voice is nice, it soothes me like no one else's voice ever has.
Which brings up the thought that I just might be falling in love with this boy…again.
Jace POV
She's beautiful, just as I remember. God I missed her so much and now she's back, she's damaged but she's here with me. It's hard for someone to fix themself when they don't even know something is wrong. I hate what Sebastian has done to him and I personally want to kill him for what he's done. The only problem is I have no idea how Clary'll react. I mean he is her brother and she seems to have grown an emotional connection to him, however it was probably broken last night when he treated her like a piece of shit.
Clary looks so peaceful next to me until she starts to stir.
"Morning sleepyhead." I joke, her eyes are still closed but I watch as a small smile forms on her face. I can't help but smile back.
"Morning goldilocks." She says back, she's said that to me a million times.
"Goldilocks?"
"Yeah, because you have gold hair."
"Ha ha. You're so funny." I say dryly which makes her smile and giggle, "Come here."
I gently pull her on top of me. I watch as a cute blush blossoms on her cheeks as we both become painfully aware that I'm in a pair of boxers with no shirt and she has on an oversized t shirt and no pants. One of us is just better at hiding our emotions than the other. I run my hand down her cheek; She's back. It's hard being this close to Clary and not being able to kiss her.
I don't get to think that for long when she takes matter into her own hands and kisses me herself.
It's shy at first, as if she's not sure if I'll kiss her back but oh boy do I. Words cannot describe how much I missed kissing Clary, no matter how shallow that sounds. Her lips are so soft and gentle and I feel her hands wander around my chest like she always used to. I told myself I wouldn't take things to fast with her until she got better, but that has definitely gone out the window. I let my hands wander up her shirt onto her hips.
Everything else in the world goes away as the kiss gets deeper and more yearning. I mean I've gone months without this girl you can't expect me not to be more passionate. I hear her gasp slightly when I flip us over so I'm propped up on my elbows. The kiss deepens even more as she puts her hands on either side of my face. One hand moves back on her hip and up her waist, I stop suddenly when I feel a raised scar on her waist. I stop immediately and lift up her shirt to see what looks like a scar caused by a knife closer to the back of her waist.
I touch it gently, it's not that long but it still hurts because I know it wasn't there months ago before she was taken, it also answers the question as to who did this to her.
"Clary-"
"It was my fault!" She says, still half in a daze from our kiss.
I raise an eyebrow at her as if asking her to explain.
"It's my fault this happened to me. I wasn't listening to Sebastian so I needed to be taught not to disrespect him and to listen." She sounds like she's reciting exactly what he had told her the day he did this to her which only makes me angrier.
I want to get this energy out now but I don't want to take it out on Clary, It isn't her fault.
"I'll kill him." I say, my hands tightening into the sheets under me.
"Hey." She says gently, putting a hand on my cheek, "It's over now, Can we forget about this?"
I think we both know I never will but I nod anyway. Her eyes brighten and she touches my shoulder that has the star imprint on it.
"You have one too." I say, rolling up her shirtsleeve so she can see it, her eyes get even brighter and she smiles at me.
"How?" She asks.
"Remember How I told you, you brought me back to life?" She nods, "Well you met Angel Raziel and he told you that you could have anything you wanted. You could've asked for anything, Clary, but you asked for me. We got these because we actually met an angel."
Her hand lingers on my shoulder, I can tell she's disappointed that she doesn't remember the whole ordeal.
"I think," She starts, blushing, looking me in the eyes, "that you're the first boy I've ever kissed."
I smile widely at her comment, this girl makes me so happy.
AN: Hey guys ! I'm so sorry for how late this update is I was at Vidcon and it was SO MUCH FUN! I highly recommend it to anyone who loves youtube it's an amazing experience! I'm also thinking about making a channel what do you think?(: Anyways thanks for reading this and comment because i love reading your feedback you all are amazing!
R&R
XOXO
Erin
