Disclaimer: Do not own.

Author's note: I'm really sorry about the delay in getting this out! As some of you know my computer died and I had to wait to get my new one before I could do any new posting. Hopefully this will be worth the wait, I know I had a great laugh writing this – especially the last part.


It was a gorgeous day outside Harry's apartment this morning; the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Ranka wanted to strangle them in an attempt for a few more minutes of sleep. Grumbling he pulled the blanket over his head and rolled towards his lover, only to discover the younger man was missing, and judging by the coolness of the futon he had been gone for some time. A very tired frown crossed his face as he brought a hand to rub his stubble covered chin. He really had not given himself time to absorb what happened the night before, too concerned at the time with Harry's distress and doing his best to comfort him.

Ranka sighed to himself as he sat up and pushed the blanket down into his lap, muffling a yawn with the back of his hand. He glared at the curtains, hoping to will them closed but gave it up as a lost cause. Reaching across the floor he grabbed up his boxers and quickly slid them on; he wasn't going to make a decision without talking to his lover first.


Ranka was pretty sure there was a little drool in the corner of his lips.

Life had not always been easy for the okama, but all the same he knew he had been blessed. First there had been his beloved Kotoko, the woman who he still loved even after all these years. Then had followed the best gift she had ever given him… Haruhi, his angel, his light. He was well aware that he would not have survived his wife's death had it not been for his daughter's constant presence. Now he had a third person slowly coming to mean just as much to him. When he first laid eyes on Harry, his first feelings towards the man were of lust. He had tried dating other men in the past, and had ended up coming to the conclusion that the rest of his life was going to spent having short flings of relationships; Ranka had been sure that if anything had come from their dating, it would have been another fling. Harry had surprised him though, and it was a surprise he quite enjoyed.

Harry was the kind of man that any man could ask for; he was loyal, devoted, kind, passionate, delicate and strong…all in one delectable yummy package. And to Ranka's delight, said yummy package was in the kitchen making breakfast in only a pair of boxers and a large apron. That had to be the final straw, he was not letting this one get away.

"Hey, I was just about to come wake you up. Breakfast is almost done. Do strawberry crepes sound alright to you?" Ranka could easily hear the nervousness in Harry's voice and knew he had not forgotten Ranka's request from the night before.

"Sure. Anything I can do to help?"

"Umm… could you get the silverware? I'll be over to the table in just a moment." Harry turned back to finishing up the two crepes and left Ranka to preparing the table; they both knew that once they were sitting down at the table, the discussion would begin.

They had only been sitting at the table for a few minutes, both quietly digging into their crepes before Harry finally spoke.

"I'm a wizard." It was said so quietly, and almost nonchalant that Ranka nearly snorted. "Although, I'm sure after last night that was pretty obvious, huh?"

"What was that thing you did?"

"It's called apparition. It is a spell that adult wizards use to travel almost instantly from one place to another." Harry took a sip of his juice, looking up through his lashes at Ranka and was relieved to see acceptance, as well as a high level of excitement.

"That guy from the other night; he's a wizard too isn't he?"

"Yes, a very dangerous and dark wizard. There are few truly born dark wizards in the world; those who are not born dark and practice the dark side of magic quickly become addicted. It's like a drug to them, and every spell is another hit. Rookwood is one of these men, I'm pretty sure he was driven insane by it a long time ago." Harry looked somber and a little angry, so Ranka did his best to change the subject.

"Are there a lot of wizards? How come more people don't know about them? Do you know a lot of spells? Can you show me some more? How do you become a wizard? Can I become one?" Ranka nearly bounced; really it wasn't that hard to accept the idea of Harry being special in this way, he was special in so many other areas already.

Harry blinked a few times before he chuckled, shaking his head slightly he parted his lips to reply and… the phone rang. A snort of laughter escaped him as he got up from the table and took a peek at his phone seeing that it was Fred calling.

"Dale's taxidermy; you kill 'em we stuff 'em! What animal can I do for you today?" Harry gave a wide grin as he heard Ranka snicker from behind him.

"Harry! That's so third year. I demand to know who has been influencing you in that behavior… But! That can wait for another day. We need your assistance my friend; those terrors you call students, who seem to think they'll be our protégés … have declared a prank war. We need your help to put them in their place. You interested? Ranka is more than welcome to come take part; I heard their Host Club is going to some kind of water resort… thingy." Fred's voice echoed a little from being put on speaker phone so Ranka could listen in as well. The two shared a look before they both gave a devilish smirk.

"We're in."


"…I just got the call. Our inside man says it's safe to enter the building. Our targets are located 200 meters from the entrance and they cannot directly see it due to the foliage and decorations of the spa. After the attack is over, our agent wants his payment immediately." Ranka leaned over a large map they had managed to procure of the Ootori Tropical Aqua Garden; he had been able to find out with a few phonecalls that the Hosts had returned to the Ootori theme park once the changes suggested by their 'experience' had been completed.

"Our main threats are going to be Morinozuka-san and Haninozuka-san; I've only heard about them since they are not my students, but from my understanding they're both extremely well trained in martial arts." Harry leaned towards Fred and George, trying to drill this in since they had really no true exposure to the Host Club. "We will need to get them separated from the group if we're going to get the Hitachiin twins. You brought the supplies right?"

"You'd think we were amateurs the way you're going on, Commander. Fred and I have been pranking and tormenting people since before you were in diapers. Thank you very much." George raised his nose upwards in a snooty manner. "You should just sit back and take notes, little boy."

Fred and Ranka watched amusedly as George and Harry bickered back and forth, for once the other brother decided it best to stay out of things.

"I really don't know how you put up with the bossy thing. He was always such a drill sergeant when things needed to be done." Fred turned to Ranka with an easy grin, watching the older man as he gave a slow suggestive smirk.

"Hey, I happen to enjoy when he's commanding." Ranka got a far off look in his eyes as they dilated slightly, causing Fred to snicker.

"I don't think I want to hear about my baby brother's perverted sex life. I may end up thinking you're a bad influence Ranka-san."

"We should though! Fred have you no sense of mind? We need to make sure that Harry is properly taken care of after all." George was barely holding back his laughter as he leaned heavily into Harry's personal space. "So Harry… just how many times has he made you-?"

George's lewd question was cut off as Harry slapped a hand over his mouth; the same hand that pulled off seconds later as Harry grimaced.

"Ew…George! Did you really have to do that? I really don't want to know where that tongue has been." Harry wiped his hand off on his pants as he glared at the redhead.

"We all know where Harry's tongue has been though." Fred gave a suggestive eyebrow wiggle causing his twin to fall over laughing.

"You two are so dead when this is all over. Right now though we need to focus on our current assault, so shut up and let's get to work." Harry growled as he stabbed a finger against the map. "Fred, George I want you to enter through here and this would probably be the best spot to place…" Conversation kept up for a few more minutes as they plotted their positions and exchanged supplies. This was going to be fun.


Ranka and Harry moved quietly as possible through the tropical brush that surrounded the pool area; they were trying to get into their positions in time so they could lure Hani and Mori away so the twins could attack.

"What all did the twins give you to work with? They work at a Joke Shop, a magical one?" Ranka whispered to his lover as they positioned themselves behind a rock partition, easily able to peek around and keep an eye on the Host Club.

"Yeah, they've had their joke shop for a few years now. And they gave us a pretty good assortment to work with: Daydream Charms, a few Portable Swamps, a Headless Hat, as well as some Wet-Start Fireworks." Harry dug carefully through the bag, pulling out a Daydream Charm as well as a Portable Swamp. "I think these two should be effective. We can use the Daydream on Haninozuka-san, and hopefully Morinozuka-san should quickly follow; after that the Portable Swamp should be enough to keep them busy. They won't be in any danger, just distracted by the illusion of trudging through a swamp with its usual swamp like properties… Hey! Ranka what are you doing?!"

Harry quickly grabbed Ranka about the waist, holding him back in their hiding spot as the older man snarled under his breath and flailed in an attempt to break free. Harry's strength seemed to surprise them both though as he pulled Ranka back behind the wall before anyone noticed. Carefully he looked up and tried to see what had caused his lover's abrupt reaction. He looked from person to person until his eyes landed on Suou-san and their targets. All three had their attention focused heavily on Haruhi, who was wearing for the first time in front of them… a bikini.

"Hurry up Harry-koi and get those two out of here. This is all out war now! How dare they stare at my daughter like she is a piece of meat! I'll make them pay for ever thinking they had the right." Ranka snarled as he reached for the headless hat and the fireworks. Harry nearly laughed at his lover's response before realizing it was probably in his best interest to keep his mouth shut.

"Alright. Operation Twin Terror is a go." Harry snuck off a few feet from his lover as to get closer to the Haninozuka heir before he tossed the Daydream Charm at the small blond.

(Separation Bar)

Harry was pretty sure he was going to jail, or at least going to be sued for all the therapy that the Host Club would need after the pranking of their lifetimes. After Hani and Mori had been successfully lured off and detained the attack quickly followed in a brutal and thorough fashion. Apparently Fred and George had figured out that the dome over the theme park could be covered up with a thick metal shield to protect it from harsh weather. With that, the park was cast into darkness except for the occasional flash of Water-Start fireworks and Weasleys' Whiz-bangs; the lights off of those lit up the pool area in a rather spooky manner, leaving a great backdrop for headless Ranka and zombie like Harry, Fred, and George (oh, the power of illusions) to appear like they came straight out of a zombie horror movie. Luckily, their spy had managed to find out this seemed to be one of the twins' main weaknesses.

Tamaki had screamed like a little girl when Ranka had grabbed him from behind, and the twins looked like they might need a change of shorts…though it was hard to tell since they were wet already from the pool. Haruhi had realized rather quickly what exactly was going on and had just sat back to enjoy the show.

"Ootori-san, I wanted to thank you for your assistance." Harry moved to the third son while the others were distracted. "Without it, I doubt our plans could have succeeded as well as they did."

"I'm always more than happy to assist Ranka-chi and yourself, Potter-sensei." Kyouya said calmly as he pushed up his glasses, it was nearly impossible for the teen to hide the twitching of his lips. He looked ready to break down in laughter any second. He didn't say another word as he accepted a briefcase from Harry; the torment of the twins as well as the payment of a top of the line Zabini Industries laptop that wasn't due to be released to anyone for at least 10 months. That as well as the promise of photo-documentation of the whole incident made his silence more than worth it.


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