Disclaimer: I own not the turtles, but of the Austin and the Honey; she is mine.
Author's Notes: Yah. I know. I didn't think it would happen either. But… another chapter. It's short, but I'm posting it so that I can give people time to try and remember what's been happening in the story before I delve into some MAJOR backstory in the next chapter. Here's a quick recap for those of you who need the memory jog. Austin is currently at the airport picking up her daughter Ivy. April and Raphael drove her there. Splinter is currently on vacation so the guys are on their own. Donnie is trying to track down the elusive GeckoGirl23. And in California, a Tracker demon was chastising a team of operatives that clumsily and hastily raided the Miracle's safehouse. They captured a few, a Water Magi escaped, and Jeremy is on the run. …anymore than that, e-mail me and I'll try to explain what you've forgotten. :) It would probably be easier to re-read the story though. I know I had to yesterday, just to figure out where to go from here.
Further Misadventures (of the Mentally Unstable)
Chapter 6
Michelangelo's Interlude
Michelangelo sighed audibly and glanced up at the old black and white Felix the cat clock on the wall of his bedroom. It was almost 10:30pm. Almost. Those last few minutes were dragging on so slowly that he could nearly swear that time itself had decided that he, Michelangelo, was its personal enemy. And as said personal enemy, Time was bound and determined to keep Mikey from any and all happiness that he might have gained from the Universe reaching that wonderful, magical minute of 10:30pm. In fact, even as he stared at the clock, the second hand seemed to slow down by a fraction of a second just for the sole purpose of taunting him.
Mikey supposed that he could have simply reached up and advanced the clock forward by 47 seconds so that Time might be fooled into thinking it was 10:30pm when it really wasn't. That was cheating though. Mikey knew it, and Time knew it. And Time wasn't very forgiving. In fact… when you thought about it… Time was downright mean. Time was that bully on the playground who beat you up on first break and took your lunch money! And then he beat you up on second break because it hadn't been enough money to buy the very last piece of chocolate cake from the cafeteria lady! And then Time dragged you into the bathroom and gave you a swirly because you tried to cheat him out of 47 seconds! Michelangelo had never actually been to school though, so he was just guessing.
In an effort to occupy those last precious seconds, the orange-clad turtle hopped off his bed and quickly crept to door of his room with all the stealth that a lifetime of ninja training had given him. He very softly opened the door and peaked out, listening for any sign that there might be an overly inquisitive brother waiting to find out just what kind of mischief he was getting into at this time of night. There seemed to be no one around, but Mikey didn't want to take any chances. His eyes shifted beadily as he glanced from side to side, sure that any moment either Donatello or Leonardo would come walking up and demand that he give an explanation for why he was sitting quietly in his room instead of making noise and being generally obnoxious. He knew he didn't need to worry about Raph. Even if his tantrum-prone brother had been down in the lair, he wouldn't give two craps what Mikey was up to. Holding his breath and straining to hear even the slightest sound, Michelangelo thought that he could just make out the faint tapping of sounds coming from the direction of Donnie's lab. He wasn't sure, but it did indeed possibly sound like it might definitely be the probable sounds of perhaps maybe a keyboard. If so, that meant one turtle down, one to go. So where did that leave Leo? Well, at 10:29pm he was most likely enjoying a relaxing cup of tea in his room. Or he was out and about on the town, searching for pickpockets and homeless drunks to lecture.
Finally confident that there was no risk of being overheard, he closed the door, taking care not to make even the slightest of clicks as the latch caught. As quiet as a mouse, Michelangelo reached over and grabbed the battered wooden chair sitting next to the door and ever so gently wedged it under the knob. No one was coming into his bedroom in the next 20 minutes. No sir, no how. He breathed a sigh of relief and turned to glance at the clock once more, but his heart sank heavily in his chest as he saw that he still had 12 seconds left. Why?! Why must Time torture him like this?? He'd waited patiently ALL day long and now it seemed like these last few seconds were going to kill him. His breath caught in his chest as he watched the little black tail on the clock swing oh-so-slowly back and forth. 10 seconds now… Oh sweet merciful God, please! What had he ever done in his life to be cursed like this? What possible sin could have earned him such a harsh and agonizing punishment. 5 seconds. It was as if the world around him had frozen completely. It would never happen. Never. Time would withhold this moment of pure and utter joy from him forever. 2 seconds. Oh cursed be the eternal being of utter hate and despair that was Time!
But then as the clock finally hit 10:30pm, Mikey realized something. Time wasn't the bully that beat you up for not having enough money for the last piece of chocolate cake! Time was actually the wonderful cafeteria lady who saved the last piece of chocolate cake. Time was giving him the cake because it felt sorry for him! Time loved him! Time wanted to please him!! Time had finally brought 10:30pm to him, and happiness would finally be his!!!
With a quickness and agility that would have shamed a Speedy Gonzales on crack, Michelangelo launched himself at the scratched and dented yet still operational 1983 novelty Kermit the Frog phone that Donatello had given to him as a Christmas present four years ago. Donnie had found the phone used and abandoned in a junkyard somewhere down by the riverfront and brought it home to fix up. Of course, he had also repainted it and filled in as many of the dents as possible, and it had been restored to near perfection. Upon receiving it that lovely Christmas morning, Michelangelo had declared Donatello his most favorite person ever and vowed to never play a prank on him or annoy him ever again. The vow lasted as long as it took to open up Raphael's present, which happened to be a brand new skateboard. Thus Raphael was declared the new favorite person. Until he opened April's gift… and so on and so on. There were many favorites declared that day.
But back to the present magical minute of 10:30pm and that wonderful Kermit phone. Unfortunately for the phone, Mikey wasn't as careful with his stuff as his brothers were and thus the Kermit had been hit over and over with many the stray nunchaku, basketball, and any other flying object that happened to have been lobbed across the room. Klunk had even knocked it over a time or two. And as he lunged for it now, he was just a fraction of an inch off and his finger managed to knock the green figurine over instead of the desired effect, which had been to pick up the receiver and proceed to dial the phone number that was now etched in Mikey's heart and also in the diary that he would have denied having until his dying breath.. Michelangelo gasped loudly (although anyone listening would have claimed that it sounded more like a little girly shriek) and scrambled to recover the fumbled telephone. He just barely got one hand around the receiver before his other hand was dialing the phone number, desperate to regain those oh so precious lost seconds. Even as the first ring sounded in his ear, he flung himself onto his bed and scooted backward until he was comfortably propped up on his pillows and looking for all the world like this was nothing more than just a plain ol' casual run-of-the-mill phone call. Like he really couldn't care less who answered on the other side. Like he was just chillin'. The youngest of the turtle brothers let out a little calming breath and tried to steady his rapidly beating heart. It just wouldn't do to let the person on the other end know how excited he really was. Click.
"I believe that this legally qualifies as harassment." The silky smooth voice on the other end of the line didn't even wait for him to identify himself. Yet despite the words, there was a slight tone of amusement and just the hint of smile. Michelangelo felt himself grinning like a maniac and nearly wiggling with happiness. She had the absolute most wonderful voice he'd ever heard, and not to mention she was drop dead gorgeous. And she was talking to him.
"I have no idea what you're going on about." What was wrong with one little phone call? It was a free country! He could call her if he wanted!
"Of course you don't." She obviously didn't believe him.
"Not a clue. So… whatcha doin'?" He could imagine her in his head. She was sitting back, relaxing with a hot cup of coffee, running her fingers playfully through her long honey-blonde hair. Mikey thought it probably smelled of flowers… or maybe coconut. Maybe coconut scented flowers.
"Same thing I do every night, Michelangelo."
"Uh… try to take over the world?" Hah! He was so clever. There was no way she couldn't laugh at that one.
"That was only funny the first time, Mikey." Okay… so it might not have been as funny the eighteenth time around, but that joke would never get old. Never.
"So... Uh… you on break?"
"You know that I am." Of course he did. She went on break everyday at 10:30pm, except for Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Unless she was working overtime to cover for someone else. "You call me every day whether I like it or not."
"If you didn't like it, you wouldn't be sitting in the office talking to me right now, would you?" His logic was flawless.
"Well, unless I have the police tracing the line to track you down and arrest you for the aforementioned harassment."
Mikey was speechless for a second. "You uh…. You don't, do you?"
There was a small laugh on the other end and he could swear he saw her flipping her hair in a flirty way over her shoulder and smiling at him. "Of course not. I find you way too amusing to have you arrested. Besides, you're basically harmless."
He gasped and put a hand to his chest in mock shock. "Harmless? Moi??? Don't you know that I'm a classically trained ninja who's dropped 20 guys in less than 5 seconds? You'd never see me coming! I'm silent! And sneaky! And stealthy! I have all the skill and grace of a ballerina at Julian!!"
"Julliard."
"That place too!"
She laughed again and Michelangelo just knew that if he could find a way to break the whole turtle thing to her easy, she'd be more than willing to go on a date with him and possibly kiss him and marry him and live forever happily with him. They'd have at least five children together and his firstborn son would be named Jackie Jet Norris.
A small silence settled over the line and Mikey heard himself asking Honey Gravois how her day at work was going.
"Eh, not too bad. I've only had to kick one asshole out of the café tonight. I thought being night supervisor was going to be a lot harder than this. I really hope Austin lets me keep this position once she takes over The Celestial. Oh hey, did you know she's back in town?"
"Yah… I heard." Mikey really didn't want to be talking about Austin right now. Yah, she was a nice girl and everything, but he was more interesting in talking about Honey… and himself. Besides, Austin was all that Raph had been obsessing over this last month and he honestly didn't see what was so special about her. Sure she was cute.. and funny.. and she had a really nice rack… but quite honestly she was a bit too insane even for the likes of the Michelangelo. There was a very thin line between wacky fun and wacky insane, and Austin seemed to have carelessly bounded over that border without even looking twice. Honey on the other hand…
It had started out innoncent, as most things tend to. Mikey, calling The Celestial Café once or twice a day to see if anyone had heard anything about where Austin had gone. He'd even gone with Raphael to stake out the café for a few nights. And that's when he'd noticed her. Blonde hair, brown eyes, pink fuzzy sweater, skin-tight jeans, and a no-nonsense attitude mixed with the most beautiful laugh he'd ever heard in his life. The binoculars he'd swiped from Donatello had told him her name. Honey. Ah, a sweet name for a sweet girl. He started calling over and over just to hear her voice answer the silliest questions about store hours, (They were open at 4am and closed sometime after midnight), coffee varieties (twelve premium flavors, three espresso blends, one house blend, and they also carried twenty-five different flavors of organic herbal teas), what they had to eat (soups, sandwiches, homemade breads and a couple different cakes and pastries), and do they cater? (Yes, they do!) After a week of strategically planned random calls, her voice had finally just told him matter-of-factly that she went on break in ten minutes and if he really wanted to talk to her that badly then he should just call her on the separate office line so he wasn't tying it up for real customers. Honey Gravois then rattled off a number and plainly asked him if he needed it to be repeated. Sheepishly, Mikey had stammered and answered 'yes' and there had been a slightly annoyed sigh on the other end. She had given him the number again, slower than was really necessary, and then told him, "Ten minutes."
Michelangelo had been afraid to call her back, yet more afraid not to. If he couldn't find the courage to call her back right now when she wanted him to, then he'd definitely never be able to find the courage to call her back in the future. With gut-wrenching terror, Mikey had sat in his room staring at the clock and begging whatever powers be watching over him for deadly Foot assault on his home in which he would be left lying dead on the floor before that little black hand could hit 10:30pm. When the Foot still hadn't shown up at thirty seconds after, Michelangelo bit the bullet and dialed the number she'd given him, nausea building in his stomach until he thought he'd vomit when he heard her voice on the line. Somehow though, by some grand miracle, he managed to keep down the chili cheese fries he'd had for dinner and had not made a fool of himself.
After the first few awkward moments, Mikey had found that she was surprisingly easy to talk to and over the course of the last month they had become rather good friends; at least he liked to think so. Honey seemed to be amused by him and she hadn't told him to leave her alone yet so he had hope that one day he might actually get to meet her face to face. Yes, it was a slim hope considering what he was, but hope was better than sitting down here night after night wallowing in self pity and loneliness for the rest of his life.
"So, what do you think?"
Mikey blinked dumbly and realized that he'd completely been spacing out on what Honey was talking about. "Uh… about what?"
"C'mon, Mikey, just give me a yes or no answer."
"…yes?" He cringed and prayed that was what she wanted to hear.
"Really?!"
She sounded so excited that he almost groaned out loud. Oh craptar. Mikey desperately searched his memory for any indication of what he'd just agreed to, but couldn't seem to remember even one word of what Honey had said. "Uh… wait.."
"No! You can't take it back, you already agreed! My shift ends at 1am tonight, after I finish with paperwork."
"But-" The panic started to rise in Michelangelo. Oh HOLY craptar.
"I'll wait outside and you better not be late. I don't want to walk all the way to my apartment by myself."
"No, Hone-" He held his hand up and gestured for her to stop, forgetting that his telephone did not yet have video capabilities.
"Hey, I need to get back to work. We're short-handed tonight. See you at one!"
*click*
There was a sudden dropping of lead in his stomach and the dial tone seemed to mock the racing of his heart. Oh. Holy. Freakin'. Craptar. He slowly pulled the receiver away from his ear and stared at it as if he'd never seen it before. Honey wanted him to walk her home… The part of him that wasn't nearly wetting himself in fear was a tiny bit excited. She wanted him to walk her home! But… there was just a couple of small problems… Okay, more like one big problem.
But then again… if Raphael could do it, why couldn't he? Mikey almost slapped himself as soon as he realized how silly that sounded. Yah, as if anything Raph did was ever the smart or right thing to do. He bit his lip and looked at the receiver, still buzzing mockingly at him. He could dial the main line of the café and explain that he hadn't realized what she meant. That he couldn't meet her tonight because he was busy… uh… cleaning his room. Or something. But she'd sounded so happy when he said 'yes'. Mikey sighed and gently set the receiver back down on Kermit's dented outstretched leg. His stomach felt like it was a spin cycle going around at full speed.
Maybe he could just… walk in the shadows. Maybe she wouldn't notice? Maybe he could just not show and lose her trust and her friendship and never ever speak to her again because she hated him so much for making her walk home alone. The thought made Mikey feel like he had to throw up. That was just not acceptable. Nevermind the fact that if she found out what he really was, he'd probably never get to see her again anyway because she'd be too freaked and would probably call animal control on him or something. What the shell had he just gotten himself into?
Author's Notes: Haha! I'm writing again. Here's hoping that a few of you have a little faith in me still. I know I need all the support I can get to keep writing this thing.
