Disclaimer: I don't own anything.


Chapter 7

Autumn

The cool wind swept along the grass. It made the trees rustle and shake slightly. It made the brittle Autumn leaves fly through the air. And it crept into the safety barrier of his jacket, making him shiver.

Logan shoved his hands into his pockets and stood there. He stared at the water of the pond, as it moved with the soft wind. He stared as a leaf floated down and touched the water, making ripples on the smooth, clear surface.

His mother was dead. Logan's mother was dead. After all that time of comforting and helping everyone else deal with it, Logan was finally letting it catch up with him, letting it sink in. He didn't have a mom anymore. He had no family left. He was all alone.

Logan sank to his knees, crossing his legs at the edge of the wide pond. He started pulling at the grass and throwing bits into the water, watching as it, like the leaf, broke the smooth surface with its touch, rippling along the water. Even the smallest piece of grass made a ripple that traveled all across the pond. Even the smallest thing had an impact on the large surface.

One person. That's all it took. One person, one misconception of speed, one second too late. Everything came crashing down in that one second. Logan had lost everything, in that one second. That one person, a person he didn't even know, changed his life forever. He killed his mom. Logan's last remaining relative, gone, in an instant.

Tears started to form in his eyes, and he sniffled. His mom was dead. The nice, amazing, considerate Joanna Mitchell was no longer in this world. Logan was suddenly hit hard with a heavy sadness. He missed her. He hadn't been able to see her since she had come to visit him on Mother's Day, but that felt like so long ago. He missed her sweet voice, calming him when he was hurt. He missed her laugh. He missed her caring face. He missed everything about her. He just wanted to see her again. To talk to her again.

Another nagging thought crept into Logan's mind, and his broken heart sank to his stomach. Logan had no family, and he was under age. That meant foster care, or an orphanage. He'd have to leave the only other people in the world who actually cared about him. He'd have to move in with a family that didn't even know him. More tears streamed down his face at the thought of leaving his best friends, and their families that they had so generously shared with him. He didn't want to leave them. Ever.

'I wonder how they'd do without me.' Logan thought. 'Big Time Rush would probably be over. Unless they got a replacement. That's most likely what they'd do. They'd go back to L.A. and Gustavo would find a replacement for me. It wouldn't even be that hard either. I'm already the weakest link of the group. They'd be able to find someone ten times better than me in no time.'

'I wonder how they'd live without me.' Logan thought. 'Carlos would most likely break a lot more bones without me there to nag at him about safety precautions. But he'd probably be having more fun too, without me stepping on his fun schemes. James would definitely get more girls without me cramping his style. Kendall would probably have a lot more fun too, without me being a pessimist all the time about his plans.'

'Why did it have to be her?' Logan thought as tears fell down his cold cheeks. 'She was a saint. Everyone who ever met her loved her. She was a way stronger person than I ever could be. Why did she have to be the one that died?'

"It should've been me." Logan whispered to himself. He sniffled and just stared at the grass in his hands, throwing it into the water. Then he picked up a small rock, rolling it around in his fingers.

Cracks and sounds of twigs and brittle leaves being stepped on, suddenly sounded behind Logan. He didn't even have to look to know who it was. They were silent as they walked closer, sitting right beside him.

Logan sighed, then sniffled. He played with the small rock in his hand. "One person." He said. "One single person, threw a rock in the pond of my life." He said, and threw the rock into the pond. "And I lost everything in the ripples." He watched as the ripples expanded from where the rock fell in, to the edges of the pond. "And he gets away with it,". He said as he watched the small rock sink down to the bottom of the pond. "As I sink to the bottom."

Kendall sighed and stood up. "You're forgetting one thing." He said as he walked over to the pond. He reached into the water and picked up the rock. "You have us, to pick you back up." He walked back over to Logan, who stood up to meet him. "No matter what." Kendall finished, and placed the rock in Logan's hand.

Logan stared at the rock, tears forming in his eyes. He sniffled, and Kendall wrapped his arms around him. "Thank you." Logan whispered.

"I'm here for you Logie." Kendall whispered back.

Logan pulled away and smiled sadly, tears staining his face. Then they both sat back down and stared at the pond.

"I didn't know it could be so hard." Logan said. "To try and. . .Move on, to live. Without. . ." He trailed off and hung his head.

Kendall sighed, then wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close. "I know buddy. I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I wish there was some way I could fix it, to make you happy again."

"I miss her." Logan whispered, laying his head on Kendall's shoulder. "I miss her so much. I hadn't seen her since Mother's Day and now. . ."

Kendall tightened his grip around Logan's shoulders. "I'm sorry Logan." He whispered.

Logan pulled away slowly and stared at the ground. "It's okay. It's not your fault this happened."

"I know." Kendall sighed. "But still. I wish this didn't happen to you. You're my best friend, and I don't like to see you so sad."

"That's why I hid it." Logan mumbled.

Kendall sighed. "I know. And I get where you were coming from when you did it. I understand that you wanted to help everyone else, and you did. You were amazing Logie. But, you could've talked to us. Me and James and Carlos. You didn't have to keep it to yourself, to bottle it up and deal with it by yourself."

Logan sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry. But, it just. . .I don't know. I felt like if I did deal with it, the way you're supposed to. You know, with, crying and everything. It'd feel more. . .Real." He shrugged. "Plus I didn't want to break my promise."

"What promise?" Kendall asked.

Logan looked up at him, then dropped his gaze again. "It's stupid."

Kendall placed a hand on his shoulder and looked at him with caring, understanding eyes, coaxing Logan to continue.

Logan sighed. "Before the. . .Accident. I talked to her, over the phone. We talked about how life was going on my end, talked about Gustavo and stuff. The usual." He shrugged. "Then I started to get tired. So we were getting ready to hang up. The last thing she said to me was to stay strong. I promised her I would."

"Logan,". Kendall started. "You know she didn't-"

"I know she didn't mean it like that." Logan nodded. "She was just talking about work and Gustavo and stuff. But still. It felt like, the last thing I could do for her." He sniffled. "I know it's stupid." He said in a cracking voice, dropping his head as he tried to compose himself.

Kendall wrapped him in a hug again. "It's not stupid." He said softly, then chuckled lightly. "I'd probably end up doing the same thing you did."

A small smile crept across Logan's face, then disappeared quickly. "Why did she have to die?" Logan asked quietly, tears running down his face. "She didn't deserve it. She was the nicest person in the world. She went out of her way to make everyone happy. She didn't deserve to die."

Kendall rubbed Logan's back comfortingly. "I don't know Logie." He said softly, a tear running down his face. He hated seeing his best friend so hurt and broken. And he hated not having the answers to fix everything.

"She was the strongest person I know." Logan said softly. "Way stronger than I could ever be. If anyone should've died in that crash, it should've been me."

"Now hold on there." Kendall said, then pulled Logan away to look him in the eyes. "Don't talk like that." He said firmly, holding Logan's shoulders. "Don't even think like that Logan. Your mom wouldn't want you to be thinking like that."

Logan sniffled. "But-"

"Listen here Logan." Kendall said firmly, holding his shoulders tight. "You may not think very highly of yourself, but let me tell you right now, that you are exactly like your mother. All those nice things you said about her, they apply to you too. You're just as amazing as she was Logan. She didn't deserve to die in that crash but neither do you. You're stronger than you realize Logan."

Logan dropped his gaze. "Mr. Garcia said the same thing." He muttered.

"And he's right." Kendall said softly. "Logan, we all love you so much. We wish you wouldn't put yourself down like this all the time. What will it take to make you see what we see? The amazing, strong person that you are?"

Logan shrugged. "I'm sorry." He said softly.

Kendall pulled him into a hug. "It's okay buddy. But promise me one thing." Logan looked up at him expectantly. "Promise me,". Kendall continued. "That whenever you have these feelings, these doubts about yourself again, that you'll come tell me. You'll talk to me, instead of hiding everything and pretending like nothing is wrong. Just come find me, no matter what's going on, or what time it is, or where we are, and talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you. So I can help you. And even if I'm not around, talk to someone. James, Carlos, my mom, we're all here for you Logie, and we want to help you. Promise me you'll let us." He said almost desperately.

Logan gave Kendall a tight squeeze. "Okay." He whispered, then sniffled. "I promise."

Kendall smiled and squeezed him back. "Good."

"Kendall?" Logan asked.

"Yeah buddy?" Kendall replied.

"Thank you." Logan said softly.

"Anytime." Kendall smiled.

They pulled away and smiled at each other, then Logan rested his head on Kendall's shoulder and they just stared at the water.


They didn't know how long they were there. At one point, they had moved from the edge of the pond, to sit under a large tree, leaning against it's wide trunk. Kendall had an arm around Logan's shoulders and Logan rested on his right side, his head leaning on Kendall's shoulder.

The wind was getting colder, but they didn't really want to move, they just stayed there, up against the tree. They didn't talk, they just stared at the water, and watched the leaves dance in the wind, content in each other's company.

Finally they heard the crack and crunch of footsteps, and turned to see James and Carlos walk over to them. They sat down beside them silently, James on Logan's right, and Carlos on Kendall's left. James wrapped an arm around Logan, who did the same, and Kendall wrapped his other arm around Carlos, who leaned against his shoulder. No words were spoken for the longest time. But then again, no words were needed. All that was needed was the comfort and reassurance that their closeness provided.

"I love you guys." Logan said softly.

"We love you too Logie." Kendall said.

"Always have,". James added.

"Always will." Carlos finished.

They sat contently, watching birds fly. The cold air no longer effected them in the warm embrace of each other.


"It's getting kind of late." Mr. Garcia said, observing the window.

"Do you think they're alright?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"I'm sure they're fine." Mr. Garcia assured.

"How do you know?" Mrs. Diamond asked. "Jen, did they-"

"No new text since the one fifteen minutes ago." Mrs. Knight answered. "Kendall said they were on their way. I'm sure it's just taking a little while to get here." Though as she spoke, she paced nervously around the room.

"What if they ran into trouble?" Mrs. Garcia asked.

"What kind of trouble could they possible get into in Minnesota?" Katie asked incredulously.

Then the door opened, and the boys all entered before closing it behind them.

"There you are." Mrs. Knight said with a smile.

"What took you so long?" Mrs. Diamond asked as she and the others approached the boys.

"Just, walked a little slower I guess." James shrugged.

"Sorry we worried you." Kendall added.

"It's fine." Mrs. Knight smiled.

"You boys are freezing!" Mrs. Garcia said as she held Carlos' face. "Come on, we'll warm you up." She lead Carlos and the others to the couch where they sat. Carlos was at the left end, then it was Kendall, then Logan, then James.

"I'll get the blankets." Mrs. Diamond ran off.

"I'll make some hot chocolate." Mrs. Knight ran off.

"You boys hungry?" Mrs. Garcia asked. "I'll go make some nice warm soup." She said and ran off.

The boys all ducked their heads in embarrassment, and Mr. Garcia laughed, watching from a chair across from them. "You boys should know better than to make your mothers worry." He chuckled.

"Or at least be prepared for the ultimate babying when you do." Katie laughed, sitting beside him.

"Yeah yeah." Kendall waved off. "Bad us, for making them worry and all that. We get it."

"I'm sorry." Logan said softly. "It's my fault we were out there so late. I should've known-"

"It's not your fault Logan." James said firmly. "And if anything, we all needed that." He smiled.

Logan offered a small smile in return, then dropped his gaze. "Still." He said.

"How are you doing Logan?" Mr. Garcia asked gently.

Logan looked shyly at him. "Better." He answered with a shrug.

Mr. Garcia approached him, then knelt down in front of him, placing a hand on his knee. "Are you sure?" Mr. Garcia asked softly.

The deep care in his eyes made Logan's heart ache. It just reminded him of what he would have to leave behind when he was taken away to foster care. Tears stung behind Logan's eyes, and he sniffled. He dropped his gaze to his hands.

Mr. Garcia wrapped his arms around Logan, and Logan did the same. He tried to compose himself, but the second that James, Kendall and Carlos joined the hug, a sob escaped, and he cried into Mr. Garcia's chest. He didn't want to leave this, to be taken away from this.

"I know what your thinking." Mr. Garcia said softly, then everyone pulled away so he could look Logan in the eyes. "And we're not gonna let you go."

Logan sniffled. "But without a family, I'll have to-"

"You have a family." Kendall said, squeezing him with the arm he had around his shoulders. "You always have."

Logan smiled sadly at him. "I know that. But the law doesn't see it that way."

"They do now." Mrs. Knight said as she and the other moms entered. She had a tray full of cups, Mrs. Garcia had a tray of bowls, and Mrs. Diamond had an arm-full of blankets.

Mrs. Diamond draped blanket after blanket across the boys, then Mrs. Garcia and Mrs. Knight set their trays on the table in front of them.

"I. . .I don't understand." Logan said, looking to each of their smiling faces with confused eyes.

Mr. Garcia reached behind him and pulled out a couple of papers folded together. He unfolded them and began reading out loud. "Custody Case of seventeen-year-old Logan Mitchell. The jury hereby grants shared custody of one Logan Mitchell, to a Mr. Garcia and a Mrs. Jennifer Knight. They will share the responsibility of the care and well-being for the child. Logan Mitchell will live in the caring household of Mrs. Jennifer Knight and her two other children, as it is the best place for the child at this time. Jury approved. Case closed." He folded the papers back up with a smile and stared at Logan, patiently waiting for a response.

Logan stared at the papers, mouth gaped and eyes wide. He couldn't believe what he's just heard. He couldn't process it.

"Logie?" Carlos asked quietly. "Did you hear us?"

"We adopted you buddy." Kendall whispered close to his ear.

"No foster care. No orphanage." James said with a smile.

"You're staying right here with us." Mrs. Knight said. "Forever."

Logan finally tore his gaze away from the papers in Mr. Garcia's hands and looked to all of them. Could he really believe it? "What. . .How. . ." He stumbled for words.

"It's okay Logie." Kendall said softly, wrapping him in a hug. "You're not gonna have to leave us. We're keeping you." He pulled away and smiled at him.

Logan stared at Kendall. "I. . .I don't know what to say."

"How about, 'This is so awesome!'?" Carlos suggested softly. "You're like, our real brother now. I mean, we've always been brothers, but now it's like, official!"

Logan smiled, then looked to them all with teary eyes. "Thank you."

"Thank you Logan." Mrs. Knight said with a smile. "For being such an amazing and wonderful person. We never have to miss Joanna too much, because you are exactly like her. You're sweet and kind and considerate. We just have to look at you, and see her. We love you so much Logan."

A lone tear slipped down Logan's cheek. "I love you guys too." He said quietly.

Everyone gathered around and surrounded him in their arms. Despite the fact the his mother was gone, Logan felt the happiest he'd ever been. And he knew that his mother was watching him, with a smile as well.


Author's note: I don't know if the papers were right. I just wrote what sounded all, official and stuff. Sorry if it's wrong.