Chapter 7: Hungry teachers are a bad thing

"Well... Shall we skip school today...?"

Link shook his head. "No! We should just go back and get our stuff, come back to school, and then explain to the teacher why we were late..."

Shigen laughed and whacked his head against the steering wheel again. "Do you know what those teachers eat for lunch...?"

Kai shivered, his eyes were wide with fear. "No... What?"

Shigen lowered his head so that his bangs fell over his eyes, shadowing them from view. "They say the teachers eat naughty teenagers who come in late for class... With a bad excuse..."

Link rolled his eyes and stared out the window.

"They say that the teachers have a giant pot down in the cellar... and when someone with a bad late excuse comes in... they tell them to wait for a few minutes after class..."

Kai whimpered and shivered again. "And what happens after that?"

"Well... When the teacher has the student all alone... It drags them down to the cellar through a secret passage behind a book shelf..."

"And then..?"

Link crossed his arms, bored.

"Then they tie the student to a poll while all the teachers dance around the giant pot... Singing and talking in the language known as teacher gibberish... And then when the water is boiled... the teacher's slowly lower you into the boiling water..."

Kai's eyes were big as soccer balls at this point.

"And after you're cooked..." He paused giving the moment dramatic effect. "They eat you...!" He jumped at Kai, looking as scary as possible.

Kai jumped back and let out a scream that would cause some people to question his masculinity.

Link almost jumped out of seat when he heard Kai's scream, and then covered his ears.

And some students who were out in the parking lot on their free class looked at the shiny car, with questions written all over their faces.

After a few seconds, Shigen laughed. "You should have seen your faces..."

Kai glared at him, then turned to face Link. "We are not going in there... I don't want to be boiled alive..."

"Kai, Shigen was just saying all that stuff to scare you! I can't believe you're stupid enough to believe him really..."

"Link... We are not going in there..."

"Then were do you suggest we go?"

Shigen turned the key, bringing the car to life. "Good... We're going to the beach... This will be fun..."

Link grabbed Shigen from behind before he could put the car in drive and dragged him into the back seat. "I think I'll drive thank you!" He jumped into the drivers seat and put his seatbelt on.

Kai poked his arm. "Do you have all emotions under control? Cause I really don't want to die... Remember that's what happens when your distracted by emotions and drive... People die..."

Link shrugged. "I guess we'll see." He backed the car up and drove out of the school property.

Kai sat with his face pressed up against the window. "So far, so good, no pedestrians or animals hit, and you're staying around the speed limit... Good job hero!"

"Oh shut up Kai... Or I'll purposely hit a puppy."

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Try me.."

Shigen reached forward and turned the radio on, setting it on country.

Kai raised an eyebrow. "A emo who likes country music?"

"The emo is just a facade I use... Actually... I'm not even emo... I just like to wear black... Much like yourself shadow... And I like country music because it makes one feel many emotions all at one time... Like anger... Sadness... Happiness... And as a bonus... Most country songs tell a real life situation.. Their songs are written by people who experience these things... Well some of the time..."

"Well that's depressing.." Link replied pulling into the drive way. "We have to get our swim gear right? Let's go."

Shigen got out of the car. "Yes it certainly is... But my favorite songs are the ones about cancer... Let's just say..." He stopped and shook his head. "Never mind, it's not for a while..."

Kai turned to look at him. "What the fuck are you rambling about? Let's go!"

Shigen nodded. "Yes... You'll know eventually..."

Five minutes later in Link's room

Link silently cursed to himself as he changed into his swim shorts. Well at least I don't have to go to school... What a crack house...

"Hey Link!"

He turned his head when he heard Kai's voice, but he soon regretted that. "Kai? What the hell are you wearing?"

Kai was standing in the door way, dressed in a dark red bikini. He waved at Link seductively and winked.

Link stood there, eye twitching. "Where the hell did you get that?"

"You should see all the shit Shigen has in his bag! He gave me all kinds of lingerie to try on too, thought I'd get a kick out of your expression..."

Link quickly pushed Kai out the door and slammed it.

"What's wrong hero? You can wear it if you want!"

"I swear... Everyone is out to molest me..." Why do the goddesses hate me?

In the car... 10 minutes later...

"Shigen... You brought your bathing suit?" Link asked as they pulled out of the drive way for the second time that day.

"I told you... I can see some of the future.." He sighed as Kai changed the radio station.

"I like pop music! I wanna fuck you! You already know!"

Link glared at him. "That song is so stupid... Why can't you like classical music?

"Oh shut up fairy boy! Classical is for old people!"

Link changed it back to country. "Let's leave it on this shall we... I like the sound of country anyways."

Kai growled. "Two against one, that's no fair!"

"Oh just shut up and enjoy the ride."

"How can I enjoy it if I have to sit here and listen to songs about people getting rabies and dying?"

"It's cancer shadow..."

"Cancer? Rabies? Same difference!"

25 minutes later... most of it being war between music preferences

When they pulled into the parking lot at the beach, it was very empty.

Kai ran onto the sand, laughing and whooping.

Shigen looked at Link. "He gets excited easily..."

"It might have something to do with forgetting to give him his medication this morning."

"Well... Even if you did remember... It wouldn't help... They burned in the fire..."

"Come on you two! Get your asses over here!" Kai sat down and started building a sand castle.

Shigen stripped off his outer clothing and ran directly into the water.

Link placed himself beside Kai and stared after the human. "Wow... I can't believe he can do that... The water's freezing here."

Kai shrugged as he added some beach rocks to the castle walls.

"Aren't you going in?"

Kai's reply came out in a mumble. "You know I don't like water..."

"Oh come on... Just because you were locked away in a room with water and a dead tree...

"It's not that!"

"Then what is it?"

Kai jumped to his feet and walked towards the water. "Look hero!"

Link turned his gaze towards the water. He could see his reflection moving on the surface, disappearing whenever a wave broke against the shore. He looked at the spot where Kai's reflection should have been, but there was nothing there.

"You see? You have a reflection... I don't! I'm afraid of water because of that..."

"You're afraid because you have no reflection? What's so bad about that?"

Kai smirked. "It's like it's showing me that I don't exist in this world... And if I go into the water, It might swallow me and drag me to the shadow world or something, you could almost say I'm afraid of not existing..."

"You know.." Link chuckled and placed a hand on Kai's shoulder. "If you ever went under the water, I would come get you..."

Kai looked at him, Link knew what was coming next.

"Oh hero! I didn't know you cared about me so much!" Kai launched himself onto Link and they both fell into the water.

"No you stupid shadow! I was just saying that to cheer you up! It doesn't mean anything!"

Kai smiled at him and moved forward until his forehead was touching the hero's. "Still, thanks for saying that, you probably don't know how much it means to me."

Link stayed silent, he stared hard at his darker half, like he was thinking about something important. "Kai..."

"Hey love birds..." Shigen had somehow appeared beside them. "Are you two coming in or what? It's quite lonely out there by myself..."

Link glared at the teen for interrupting him but then yelped as he was touched by something underwater, he looked down at the thing that had just poked him in the side. A crab stared back at him, claws raised and blowing bubbles.

Link picked him up. "Hey there little guy."

Shigen's eyes widened before he swiftly moved away. "Sexy... Put that thing down..."

Kai looked at the crab, then looked back at Shigen. He took the sea creature from Link and held it towards the emo. "You don't like crabs?"

"Don't bring that thing anywhere near me..."

Kai nuzzled the crab affectionately. "How dare you call Edward a thing! He has a name!"

The crab was giving them the 'what the fuck?' look.

"I hope it pinches you..." Shigen ran back deeper into the water and swam away.

Kai gently placed Edward back under the waves and watched him make a run for his life.

"So emo's scared of crabs?"

"Kai don't torture him..."

"What do you fear hero?" Kai nuzzled Link this time.

"Not too much actually... ReDeads... Spiders... And other things..."

Kai turned and slowly started eased himself into the sea. "I'll have to remember that." He whimpered as the water hit his stomach. "You better get your ass in here hero."

Link sighed, then waked over and scooped Kai into his arms bridle style. "Kai you're really light... and do you know the best way to get use to cold water?"

"Let me guess.. You're going to show me?"

"Yep!" Link tossed the shadow into the air and watched as he hit the water with a big splash.

Kai surfaced and started yelling. "Fucking cold! Ass is currently numb! Along with other unmentionables! Fuck! Kill hero! Stupid water! Cold! Puppies!"

Link shook his head. "What the hell is so special about puppies?"

"I like them! And you better be getting me one!"

"Why?"

"Because you'll have to give me a sorry present, since I won't be able to use some body parts after this!" He flailed and tried to swim back to shore.

Link jumped into the water and swam next to him. "Just give it a few minutes, you're body will go numb and then it won't bother you."

"I don't know how to swim hero!"

"Well then just hold onto me and I'll swim for you."

Kai jumped on his back. "Giddy up!"

Link grumbled and started swimming.

After many hours of swimming adventure.. I'm just too lazy to type what they did...

Kai, Shigen and Link all lay on the beach staring up into the havens. The sun had set earlier, leaving only the night sky painted with stars to look at.

Shigen turned from the sky to look at the twins. "So what are you two planing to do once you graduate high school...?"

Link yawned. "Not too much really."

Shigen shook his head in agreement. "Yeah... me neither... Life's too short.."

Kai rolled so that he was on his side. "Is there anything you want to do?"

"Travel... I would like to see the world... It sounds so fascinating..."

Kai growled. "I think I'll be satisfied with life if I could just learn how to drive damn it."

"There's no hope for you there bro.."

"Thanks hero..."

They stopped when Shigen grabbed at his head with a muffled scream.

"You okay emo?"

Link flicked Kai's nose. "Stop calling him that." He turned to Shigen. "Got a headache or something?"

"Yeah.. That's right..." He continued to clutch at his head, but he smirked at them. "Don't worry... It's nothing... Just ignore me..."

The two elves didn't look convinced, but they complied for the time being and turned back to looking at the sky. It was covered with shooting stars.

"Look." Link gestured above them. "The goddesses are crying."

"Oh how poetic." Kai yawned like Link had earlier. "Shouldn't we be getting home now?"

"Yeah... School tomorrow..."

"Oh shut up Shigen!"

"Ok then sexy..."

Kai got to his feet. "Okay... Last one to the car has to make out with me!"

Link jumped up like his ass was on fire and raced towards the car.

Kai and Shigen looked at each other. "Don't even think about it emo."