Elliot scratched his head before looking at his watch. 7:13 A.M. He huffed, knowing that when Olivia finished getting her wound tended to she wouldn't want to go back to sleep. He knew that she would be too wound up from being cooped up all the time. He wanted to take her out, but with all of her flashback and episodes he was afraid it would be to much for her to handle.
He was broken from his thoughts by a very womanly voice."Mr. Stabler?" She called out, her eyes looked around the room waiting for the person she called to stand. Once she seen a man stand she made her way to him.
"She's okay, right? Did she lose too much blood? Can I take her home?" The questions all falling from his mouth before he could stop them.
"She is fine," the nurse said holding up her hand to stop his questions, then motioned for him to follow her. "We did have to sedate her, she started attacking Dr. Lewis, so we put her under so we could stitch her up without complications," the nurse explained as they made their way towards Olivia's room.
Elliots heart sank when he heard the name of the doctor, he started to think of how she would be when she woke up. He couldn't imagine the things that were running through her head as the man was trying to fix her. "Is she still asleep?" Elliot asked as the approached the door to Olivia's room.
"Yes, but they were mild sedatives so she should be up soon. Do you want me to get her discharge papers ready?"
"Yes, thanks," Elliot smiled at the nurse, then he turned into the room. He seen Olivia laying in the bed, he sat down beside her and noticed that she was in a hospital gown instead of her short and t-shirt.
He watched as she stirred slightly and her eyes opened, first they were wide, then when she seen Elliot her body started to relax. He reached out and moved hair from her face, she slowly blinked and smiled at his gesture.
"I would have gotten you a different doctor if I knew his name, Liv… I'm sorry," he whispered, taking her hand in his. "I am so sorry."
He couldn't help but feel guilty for all of this happening. He was the one who pushed her too hard, he was the one who left her in that damn parking lot, and he was the one who was stupid enough to let a male doctor, especially with the name Lewis strip, and examine her.
"It's not your fault, El," she replied, her voice sounding scratching and for a moment he wondered if she was yelling at the doctor as well. "I promise," she whispered giving his head a reassuring squeeze.
He smiled at her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, when he pulled back he noticed the light blush on her face. "You're so beautiful," he commented, earning an eye roll.
She started to sit up, he rested his hand on her back and gave her the extra push that she needed. "I'm sure," she scoffed. "Was it the matted hair? Or the bruised cheek?"
"Well it sure as hell wasn't the attitude," he chuckled, kissing the side of her head as the nurse came in with the the discharge papers.
As Elliot sighed the papers for her discharge, Olivia nervously glanced around the room. She was glad to see it was only the nurse that had brought the papers, she was terrified that he would come back. It wasn't that the man looked like Lewis, he just reminded her of him. The way that he came at her with so many sharp objects, the deepness of his voice, then all the people around him that were calling him Lewis didn't help.
The nurse nodded her thanks as she motioned to the chair and exited the room, Olivia looked at it and bit her lip. Elliot watched and knew she didn't want to ride in that chair to the front of the building. They could talk about it in a moment, for now he helped her back into her cloths.
As he pulled her shirt down over her head, she leaned close enough so that she could whisper into his ear. "I really don't want to go out in a wheelchair."
"I'll carry you to the car, okay?" She nodded and wrapped her arm around his neck allowing him to pick her up bridal style.
"I'll do anything you want." His words echoed through her head as she rested it on his chest.
One week later:
They had done nothing but sit on the couch and watch movies and plain television. Olivia was cuddled up into Elliot's side, her hand resting on his shoulder, as the love scene started to play on the movie. 'When did every movie start to include some type of sex scene?' Was the one thought that kept running through their heads.
She felt how every time one of these scenes came on he would tense and try to move from her touch, she knew it was because of Lewis. She hated that Elliot acted this way towards her because of him. She wondered what life would be like if she hadn't been taken, or attacked, or… She shook her head and pulled away from him as she stopped her thoughts from running too far.
"What's wrong?" Elliot asked muting the tv and looking over at her, he could see worry in her eyes and for a moment thought she fell into another flashback.
"Would, would you still be here had he not taken me?" Olivia asked him, her eyes full of fear. Sighing, he dropped the remote and turned to face her. "Never mind," she told him shaking her head as she looked down at her lap. "Don't bother answering that."
"Don't do that," he said reaching out and taking her hands into his.
"Do what?" She asked her voice cracking, as she stared at their hands. She had a strong feeling that if she were to look him in the eyes she would start to cry.
"You can ask me anything Olivia," he said softly rubbing their hands together. "And yes, I always planned on coming back. You didn't really think that I could stay away from you did you?"
"I.. I don't know what I thought Elliot," she whispered pulling her hands from his. "I don't know anything any more."
"Olivia, don't go there," he told her watching as she started to fill with doubt, he wasn't quite sure what type of doubt, but she was about to overflow with it.
"Don't go where Elliot? Don't realize that I will never be the person I used to be? You do know that; right?" She asked looked up at him with a straight face, there were a few tears rolling down her face but she chose to ignore them. "You do know that I am never going to be.. Olivia again. I'll be, I am, just a shell Elliot. I don't feel, and when I do it's nothing but pain. I hurt, all the time. It has nothing to do with the cuts, the scars, the burns. I hurt when I look at them."
"Liv I don't expect you to be the exact same person after what you went through."
"I don't think that's true," she said in a bitter chuckle biting her lip. "Elliot I want you to kiss me, I want you to take me to your room and make love to me." She watched him as she said these things. "If I told you to do that right now, what would you say to me?"
"Olivia," he sighed reaching out for her hands again but she snatched them away.
"What would you say to me?" She sneered.
"I would tell you to wait till you're completely sure-"
"I'm sure Elliot."
"Liv," he sighed again watching her wipe her tears away.
"See that's, that's what I am talking about Elliot. I don't want you to have to think about it, I don't want you to "make sure" that I am ready. I just want to do it. With you." She stood from the couch and moved so that she was standing right in front of him.
"Olivia," he gasped watching as she pulled her shirt over her head. 'Why was she acting like this?' He wondered. 'Maybe it was her pain meds, they seem to make people a little loopy. I would know after all the times I had to take them.'
"Have sex with me Elliot," she begged, her pride flying out the window along with her dignity.
"You don't want this," he said with surety as he stood as well, grabbing her shirt from the floor he tried to put it back on her. She snatched it out of his hands and threw it across the room.
"I want this," she breathed, reaching up and cupping his face in her hands. "I want you, and I want you to want me."
"I will always want you Olivia." He covered her hands in his.
"I want you to want me, even though I am broken, even though I will never be able to give myself to you completely. Love me! Love me because I never will love myself. Please?" She was crying now, tears sliding down her face as she begged him to love her.
He was so confused, he wanted her, she had to know that he wanted and loved her. He would always love her, flaws, scars everything. But he knew she wasn't ready for this, hell, he wasn't ready for this. "I love you Olivia," he said leaning down and kissing her, it wasn't exactly what she wanted. It was just quick simple and straight to the point. "I love you so much."
"Then do this," she pleaded grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his face down to hers. She pressed her lips to his, harder.
And once again, against all of his better judgment he lifted her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist as his lips moved against hers, her arms tightening against the back of his neck. She moaned as his tongue slid against hers, and then she let out a sigh of content when he gently laid her on the bed.
A/N:
I love that you guys enjoy this story, it's really amazing seeing how far this story has come. You guys are all amazing. Also, next chapter starts out good but be ready for some crazy stuff!
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Thank you guys so much, your reviews and comments are so inspiring and it means the world to me that all of you enjoy this story as much as Lilly and I do. :)
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