Mordekaiser sat on a dead horse. Now, before you ask how he killed the horse, mind you that he did not kill it. In fact, no one decided to directly kill it.
Gravity did.
It had somehow invaded his dormitory. He would never know why or how, but it did infiltrate his dorm without a sound. The horse had the guts to walk in without any hesitation. So the first thing that entered the Master of Metal's mind was,
I wonder if I could sit on it?
Yes, that was what he thought. Now that he was proven wrong, he needed to take care of an annoyingly large corpse. And he needed to do it fast. After all, dead horses usually bring in flies, and he absolutely despises flies. Mordekaiser stood up from the corpse before leaving his dormitory. Utilizing the elevator he used all the time, he went to the first floor. The Master of Metal would need help picking this corpse up; it was an excessively heavy horse, so it was hard for even the Shadow Isles ruler to pick it up. He knew exactly where to head to.
"...And that's why you're in my room?"
"Yes, Crownguard."
Garen sighed. He was still intimidated by the Master of Metal, but the Summoner's Rift match and the examination session had brought them somewhat closer. Sitting on his comfy bed, the Might of Demacia blinked several times before standing up. Taking the horse to Brand, the Burning Vengeance, might sound like a good idea, but then again, Brand never opens his dormitory door for others, and for a good reason. After all, the last time he did so, lava poured and spread throughout the Champions' Break. No one knows where the lava came from, or why it was in the dorm in the first place. Taking it to the furnace would be a much better option.
"Alright. We'll pick up the horse and throw it in the furnace."
"Good thinking- wait... just throw it in," asked Mordekaiser with a confused look, "without any trays?"
"...What does burning a horse have to do with trays?"
"No, think about it," said the Master of Metal, "if there's a dead horse, then we could preserve the meat for-"
"Mordekaiser, no one eats horse meat here. Not even Kha' Zix, though he wouldn't hesitate to chop it up."
The Master of Metal raised an eyebrow before growling, "I do."
The Might of Demacia sighed before telling the iron man, "Look, I could understand what you're pointing at right now, but no one would probably approve of you eating horse meat. That's like forcing Soraka to eat a hoof!"
"Soraka? What's that? Your horse?"
Garen rolled his eyes, trying to say something back. Instead, he sighed before walking out of his dorm. "Let's just get rid of that horse, shall we?"
"Let's do this. Hue hue hue."
Mordekaiser and Garen eventually picked the horse up before burning it in the first floor's furnace. Thankfully enough, no one saw them carry the corpse, so their reputation did not change. The Master of Metal huffed before thanking Garen with a swift nod. The Might of Demacia nodded back, exhausted. What kind of horse was that heavy, anyways? The two went back to their rooms, feeling a little sore.
Mordekaiser found a letter written on his dormitory door. Raising an eyebrow, he stomped towards it before snatching it.
Dear Mordekaiser,
Meet me at the Champions' hospital.
Sincerely,
Mercedes
"Mercedes, what's up with this discouraging letter?"
Mordekaiser was sitting in the doctor's office in the Champions' hospital; a place where champions could make appointments peacefully. The Master of Metal currently used the doctor's chair, which obviously belonged to Shen, the Eye of Twilight. Normally, he should be here bickering about how he needed to save people.
Mercedes, who was sitting on the patient's chair, simply told him, "Shen is dead."
"..."
…
…
"...Just kidding, Shen isn't dead."
"Curse you, I was just about to celebrate!"
"Anyways, Shen is right now missing in action. He's currently treating injured people from a riot that's occurring in Piltover right now. Akali and Kennen-"
"Who's Cannon? Are you perhaps referring to Gangplank?"
"No, Kennen. Not Cannon. Y'know, the lovely, masked midget?"
"I hate midgets," mumbled Mordekaiser.
Mercedes chuckled before continuing, "Anyways, Akali and Kennen had also gone off with him without a word. Now, being the generous man I am-"
"Also known as 'loser.'"
"-I decided to appoint you as the temporary chief doc' of this place. Dismissed."
"Okay- WAIT A SECOND, DO I LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR TO YOU?!"
Mercedes simply closed his eyes as the Master of Metal continued to roar,
"I'm no doc', and I never will be! My specialty is to bring suffering, not bless people with new limbs! And why am I being ordered around so much in the first place?! Do you know how much effort I use just to stand-"
"If you hold out for one whole day, then I will supply you with an infinite amount of burritos."
"It will be done, summoner."
Mercedes, barely able to keep himself from laughing, gave Mordekaiser an immensely long list that he would need to be a 'proper' doctor. "Today, you will only be doing surgeries. You and I have done some in the past to heal some friends of mine. It should be no problem."
Mordekaiser chuckled, "Old man, you're out of your mind if you think I forgot about surgeries."
This gave the summoner a smile. With a look full of trust, he began to walk out of the office. "Treat the office well. Oh yeah, and don't kill anyone this time, y'hear?"
"Gotcha, gotcha."
With one final look given from Mercedes, the door closed.
Mordekaiser panicked.
Oh SH#*! I forgot how to perform surgeries! What do you cut people up with again? Scissors?
Mordekaiser looked around him. There was another door connected to the surgery room. Scrambling on his feet, the Master of Metal slammed the door open, revealing a large room with one, clean platform floating in the middle. The platform was presumably where he'd put the patients, as it was big enough for even Cho'Gath to lie down on it. Gulping, he began to dig through some of the tools scattered across the room.
Let's see... scalpel, scissors, saw... I think this is a syringe...
Just then, someone knocked on the office door.
Mordekaiser jumped up in surprise, knocking over a whole group of tools down. A battery-powered saw began to spaz out on the floor, causing the iron man to panic even more.
"H-Hold on a sec'! I'll be right with ya! Be right..."
The Master of Metal attempted to catch the saw, which had moved all the way to a corner of the room. He eventually caught it before turning it off, tossing it back to where it came from. Darting towards the door connecting the surgery room with the office room, he used his utmost strength to reach the office. He slammed the door open before shutting it loudly. Mordekaiser literally jumped towards the office chair before letting it slide back to the large desk. He wondered if he forgot anything.
Oh yeah.
Mordekaiser picked up a rock that was labeled 'Shen.' Chucking it away to some dark corner, the Master of Metal took out an iron cube before using his fingers to scratch out the words 'Dr. Morde.' He quickly placed it at where the rock was before saying out loud,
"Come in, fool!"
The door opened, revealing a familiar face. Someone that Mordekaiser was glad to see.
"Ah! If it isn't the Maven of Strings. Your burritos were absolutely perfect."
Sona smiled before bowing lightly. Mordekaiser took it as a 'thank you.'
"OH SHOOT!"
The abrupt yell made the lady jump for a second. Thankfully, she didn't drop the ethwahl she brought with her.
"Hmm... Sona, was it? I happen to be a replacement for the Eye of Twilight at the moment. Do you know how to treat people?"
Sona flinched. After all, it had been the first time he said her name. Putting up a thoughtful look, she contemplated for a while... before nodding.
"Okay, that's good enough. You're hired."
The maven blinked a couple times, surprised at how fast she was accepted.
The small lobby outside of the office was like any other hospital; it had a couple of seats, a reception desk, and a water cooler. Amumu, the Sad Mummy, sat on one of these seats, tearing up thanks to a wound he had received earlier. Okay, sure, he did learn that playing with Tristana's ammo was dangerous, but did he really need to receive a burn? He sniffled. Boy, he hated life and its physics.
He had to note, however, that the hospital felt somewhat different. Instead of that somewhat arrogant Kennen at the reception desk, there was a beautiful maven, plucking strings productively while the doctor prepared for Amumu's appointment. The aura she had was so full of life... Amumu could feel peace just by looking at her.
Then came the dreadful aura coming from the doctor's office.
He had no idea to what was inside the office, but for some reason, he could tell that Shen wasn't there. After all, Akali was nowhere to be seen. Everyone knows that Akali was usually next to the Eye of Twilight due to her fondness of him. So without the nurse walking around, it certainly felt... off.
Finally, the Maven of Strings motioned for Amumu to follow her into the office. The Sad Mummy plucked himself off the seat before proceeding to enter the room.
"Why, hello there! Doctor Mordekaiser, here. Would you like to be treated with a drill or a hacksaw?"
A terrified scream echoed out of the building.
After many minutes of discussion and persuasion, Sona ended up healing Amumu with her instrument. The mummy walked out of the hospital, shaken by what he had seen. Seeing Mordekaiser in a doctor's outfit was simply horrifying to even think of.
Meanwhile, in the doctor's office...
"...okay, so you didn't tell me that your string-thing patched people up."
Sona nodded.
Mordekaiser was deep in thought. Now that he found out about what Sona was capable of when it came to 'treating people,' he needed to learn how to utilize this efficiently. Mercedes had been wrong; there were people who came for appointments other than surgeries. Blame the old man and his blasted age.
"Alright, here's the deal. If it comes to burns, cuts, or other small injuries, you take care of it. If it comes to large-scale surgeries, I do it. How's that sound?"
Sona looked around before picking up a paper and pencil. Tilting her head, she wrote something down before showing it to Mordekaiser,
"Are you experienced with surgical tools? I could help."
The Master of Metal stared at the paper.
"I can't read."
Sona felt the urge the slam her face on the desk.
"Hue hue hue, just kidding. But yes, I am. Do not worry."
Right when Mordekaiser stopped talking, someone knocked on the office door again. Rolling his eyes, he gave Sona a pleading look, who headed for the door. The maven opened it, only to find an unfamiliar face.
"Yo!"
The pink haired woman before her had a tight suit that covered up most of her body. She didn't have her iconic gauntlets with her, but her finely-toned muscles were somewhat visible even with her armor on. Her cocky expression supported her confident air, and the tattoo on her cheek clearly stated who she was.
"So, uh," said the Piltover Enforcer with a grin, "is there, by chance, a big metal bub in here?"
"If you're referring to me, then I'm right here, punk."
"Hey, everyone loves Vi!"
Mordekaiser rolled his eyes before asking the girl, "What do you want, Enforcer?"
"Well, on behalf of Piltover and freaky-ninja-guy," said Vi, taking a cup of coffee out of nowhere, "I was sent here to help you while that dude's taking care of people in a riot. Jayce is busy, and so's Cait, so... here I am! An old man taught me the way to here. Seems like your retired contract-summoner loves to make your work, eh?"
"Wait, you? Help? Mercedes' must've finally snapped."
"Hey! He gave me coffee, so he's cool!"
"Mmm hmm. Guh, I needed help anyways. You're hired. I guess. Sona here will be treating patients with minor injuries, while you and I would deal with surgeries."
Vi's expression slightly darkened. Curious as to why she suddenly shut up, Mordekaiser asked, "What's wrong? Don't like blood?"
"No, no, it's not that... it's just that..."
"...?"
"I'm just getting a feeling that many people are gonna visit us."
Mordekaiser would eventually figure out that Vi was right.
After Sona treated several patients, Kayle, the Judicator, burst into the hospital with an injured Jax. The Grandmaster at Arms barely breathed, which simply caused Kayle to panic. Vi brought Jax into the surgery room, placing him on the obnoxiously wide table. Apparently, he had been injured by a legendary monster at a river while he was fishing. Of course, he slayed it, but with a price. The Enforcer put on a hygiene mask, with Mordekaiser doing the same.
They eventually put the Grandmaster to sleep with a syringe, allowing them to 'cut him open.'
"Ew," said Vi with a hint of disgust, "this is so... complicated."
"Meh, I've seen worse. Alright, his heart is severely injured, so we're gonna have to do a transplant. Bring me... uhh... 'Heart 208.'"
"Gotcha, gotcha."
Vi quickly ran towards a large drawer. Shen used these whenever he did transplants, so he wouldn't mind if they were used for the greater good. Mordekaiser used a scalpel to cut out the heart. He barely cut it out without inflicting more injuries. When Vi came back, he took the heart from her hand before he-
"...Wait a minute, THIS IS 'HEART 2008!' I said two-oh-eight!"
"Oh shoot. Be right back."
Mordekaiser sighed before waiting for Vi to return. The Enforcer came back with the correct heart.
"Okay, good. Now shove it in where the previous heart was."
"Right!"
Vi roughly shoved the new heart into Jax. However, when she tried to pull her hand back out, it wouldn't budge.
"Huh? What the?"
"Enforcer? What's going on-"
…
"...since when did you put your gauntlets back on?"
"I dunno," said Vi, shrugging nonchalantly, "I just thought that my gauntlets would be useful for breaking ribs open."
The Master of Metal asked, "Could you take them off?"
"Yeah, but it would take thirty minutes."
"..."
Mordekaiser sighed.
Before he screamed, "GO TAKE AT LEAST ONE OF THEM OFF!"
"Okay, okay! Fine, geez!"
Vi literally had to swing her hand out of the Jax's chest. After rubbing some blood off the glove, she walked to a corner in order to take at least one gauntlet off. Meanwhile, Mordekaiser began to finish up the heart transplant. Now, all he needed to do was-
KABOOOOOOOOM!
Mordekaiser accidentally shoved a scalpel deep into the new heart.
…
Infuriated, the Master of Metal's eyes glowed. They headed for Vi, who simply rubbed her head in confusion and apology.
"Eh heh... heh... sorry 'bout that."
"Oh, man, I'm so screwed."
Mordekaiser panicked. He had been doing so well until some explosion came from Vi's gauntlet. He was about to lose Jax! Thinking quickly, he came up with one solution. Rushing over to another drawer, he took out a glowing object before returning to Jax. He carefully placed it inside of Jax before heading back to the drawer again. The iron man returned again with a red bottle before pouring its contents messily on the heart. And with that, he began to patch Jax up again. It wasn't the best, but it was enough to keep the Grandmaster's organs to hold until Shen comes back.
"And... there we go."
"Wow, you're done?! Man, I didn't get to have any fun."
Mordekaiser grimly stated, "Oh, you'll be seeing fun soon. Now who's next?"
Garen eventually met up with Jax at the Champions' Break. Sitting in the first floor lobby with a grin, the Demacian asked, "How was the surgery?"
"Dunno. I actually feel a little better."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Doc' told me that I shouldn't move too mu-"
Jax suddenly collapsed while he was walking towards Garen. The Might of Demacia panicked, yelling,
"Jax? JAX?! DEMACIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
"..."
"..."
Mordekaiser and Vi's next patient was Draven, the Glorious Executioner. They were currently doing another heart transplant, but they were facing something that destroyed their logic about human hearts.
Vi broke the silence, asking, "Why does this heart look like Draven?"
"Beats me."
The two stared at Draven's heart, which indeed looked like the Executioner himself. Even its hairdo was in perfect shape. However, due to the fact that the heart was dying, its smiling mouth stayed open.
"...Okay," said Mordekaiser, who was disturbed at this point, "give me 'Heart Draven,' please."
Vi went and searched through the drawers, looking for another heart identical to Draven's. When she found 'Draven's Heart,' however, she realized something disturbing. As she went back to Mordekaiser and the patient, she told the iron man,
"This heart looks nothing like Draven's."
"...Madness."
Mordekaiser took the heart away from Vi's hand. Indeed, it looked like a normal heart.
"Are you sure this is from the Draven drawer?"
"Well, duh! I have eyes, bud."
"..."
The Master of Metal fell into a long train of thoughts. After coming up with the best solution he could think of, he took out a scalpel.
"Uhh," asked Vi with a look of confusion, "what're you exactly gonna do with that?"
"Carve a head out."
The two felt the air tensen when Mordekaiser began to carve out an eye on the heart...
...only to find blood spurting everywhere.
"Gah! Stop the blood, stop the blood!"
"No," screamed Mordekaiser, "shove it in the trash can, shove it in the trash can!"
Vi plucked the heart out of the iron man's hand before tossing it into a trash can. "What now?!"
"Go get me a green bead and some red bottles!"
"..."
"...What? What're you waiting for?!"
"No, no, wait just a sec'. Don't tell me you used a Rejuvenation Bead and Red Potions on Jax...?"
"Shut up, they're just beads and bottles."
"But I'm pretty sure-"
"THEY'RE JUST BEADS AND BOTTLES!"
"OKAY, OKAY, FINE! Geez!"
Vi reluctantly headed to the drawers before taking out a Rejuvenation Bead and Red Potions. When she brought them to Mordekaiser, the Master of Metal took them from her before placing the bead near Draven's heart. He then poured the potions' contents on the heart before beginning to patch some skin to cover the Executioner's chest.
Darius, the sat in the second floor of the Champions' Break, sipping some coffee. However, his peace crumbled when he heard the familiar voice of his brother echo across the building,
"Bro! I've been looking for ya'!"
"Ya? Ya," mumbled the Hand of Noxus.
"So anyways, I visited the-"
Draven suddenly collapsed on the floor. His brother simply sipped his coffee again, not bothering to look at Draven, before simply replying,
"Good for you."
And so, Mordekaiser and Vi continued to perform surgeries. They yelled at each other quite often, bickering about what they should've done instead of what they actually did. Garen found himself mourning for Jax and Master Yi, both who were victims to the surgical tools of two 'expert' surgeons. Lulu found herself worrying over the yordle, Tristana, who had begun to spaz out more than usual after visiting the doctor, and Cho'Gath constantly ate food to forget about the three obnoxiously glowing spots on his chest. Interestingly enough, the monster didn't faint unlike a majority of the patients.
Currently, Mordekaiser and Vi had begun the final surgery on Thresh, the Chain Warden. They decided to begin at-
…
"..."
Thresh simply stared at the two surgeons as he lay still on the platform.
"Thresh," said Mordekaiser with the simplest sentence he had ever said in the Institute so far, "get out."
The Chain Warden got up and obediently left the surgeon. After all, what business did he need with doctors if the souls of his victims unconsciously patched his wounds up?
Mordekaiser sighed as he returned to Shen's office, sitting down on the office chair. He had been worn out due to the sheer amount of people visiting him, and so was the Piltover Enforcer. She simply sat on the floor, panting for breath.
"Y'know," said Vi after catching her breath, "this ain't that fun."
"No, it's absolutely no fun."
"Hmm... well, it was a little fun for me," claimed the Enforcer with a grin.
Mordekaiser simply raised an eyebrow before he chuckled. Now that he thought about it, the antics he had with the girl were quite amusing. And Vi herself was quite interesting; she didn't seem to fear him due to her extreme confidence in herself, which was actually somewhat relieving for Mordekaiser. He could consider her as a decent partner. Decent partner. That itself is an accomplishment, mind you.
"Meh, at least your presence spiced things up."
Vi heard her cellphone ring. Due to the fact that it was made from the steampunk city-state, Zaun, it was slightly loud for even Mordekaiser. Taking the call, she answered the phone,
"Vi, here. Whatcha need?"
"..."
"...Yeah...? Okay. Alright."
She hung up, allowing Mordekaiser to ask, "Who was it?"
"Jayce. Friend of mine. Told me that ninja boy's arrived at the Institute."
"Finally!"
Mordekaiser stood up, eager to leave the hospital. However, just when he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of a Shen with a dreadful aura coming from him.
The Master of Metal and the Piltover Enforcer felt sweat trickle down their necks.
"...What is the meaning of this," asked the Eye of Twilight with a monotone tone.
Mordekaiser stood up straight before telling Shen, "W-Well, we were substitutes. There were many patients, so we had no choice but to take your place."
"We?"
"Yeah. There's me, and then there's-"
Mordekaiser pointed at Vi, who was thirty meters away from the hospital at this point.
"ENFORCER! GET BACK HERE! TRAITOR!"
The pink-haired fighter ran and ran, not turning back. Just when Mordekaiser was about to retort, Shen ordered the iron man,
"You have one week to pay one million gold pieces for the trouble you caused. Especially for all the beads and potions you weren't supposed to use."
Mordekaiser's jaw slammed itself on the hospital grounds. Somewhere outside of the hospital, Vi thanked her instincts to grab the gauntlet she had taken off earlier before running. She loved the gloves. And her life.
Meanwhile, Sona had also left the hospital, knowing that her job had been finished. She reflected on what had happened in the hospital. Mordekaiser seemed to get along with Vi; a step further to his goal of being accepted by the champions. The maven felt happy for the Master of Metal, for he was always alone in the Champions' Break. Sure, she felt a little disappointed with the fact that she herself didn't help the iron man out, but Mordekaiser had his reasons.
Now inside her dormitory, she put down her ethwahl before laying on her sky-blue bed. The maven stared at the ceiling, remembering how she peeked behind the office door. Watching the prideful two talking to each other confidently and naturally...
She became quite friendly with him... even though it's their first time seeing each other. Do I just lack the ability to be social?
Sona buried her face underneath a pillow. Now that she thought about it, it only took Vi a few hours with Mordekaiser before he had somewhat accepted her presence. On the other hand, it took Sona days. At least, that's what she thought. Burying her face deeper into the soft object, she sighed. She wanted to know more about the iron man as a friend. Maybe she could get rid of that looming aura of isolation coming from the Master of Metal. After all, he was quite interesting in terms of personality and attitude. It would be a waste for his good points to never be shown to the other champions.
The maven shut her eyes tightly. She would think about this topic later. Sona decided that she was too worried about Mordekaiser's reputation. The maven would rest, for it had been a long day.
Author's Notes: Next up – 'Laborkaiser!'
Also, this was, by far, the longest chapter I had worked on. The original was too unorganized, forcing me to condense the chapter. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Feedback is appreciated!
