Conrad watched the door closing with a dumb expression on his face. He didn't expect that reaction from his wife: that she didn't want to talk yes, that she'd have locked herself in the dressing room for not to be in the same room with him no.

"Victoria you're being childish, open the door!" he banged the door

"Go away!"

"I won't go anywhere until we talk!"

"I've nothing to say to you"

"But I do and you're going to listen!"

He realized he could keep banging as much as he wanted but she wouldn't have opened anyway so he simply sat on the floor resting his back against the door.

"When we started having sex again and so frequently I didn't think about the consequences, I just wanted to enjoy it with you because we're having mind-blowing sex and you can't deny it but then… something changed"

Victoria swallowed biting her lip and looking at her reflection at the vanity's mirror. It was strange how only a closed door could make a conversation even more intimate and intense, she was grateful for that barrier between them because she wouldn't have been able to mask her feelings to him right now.

"Vic are you listening?"

"As if I had any other choice"

She was pretending to be bothered but it was the contrary, she was scared like ever before because that conversation was heading to an unavoidable direction and she didn't want to listen to him. She has been so idiot to lock herself in there, she should have pushed him out of her room with her own hands!

She heard him sigh from outside trying to find a more comfortable position on the hard floor, she closed her hands in fists to stop the shaking, she did have headache now and it was his fault!

"I don't want… I don't want just fuck you, I want more. I love you Victoria, I always have and I always will"

He said it. She pushed a hand against her mouth to stifle a sob, a tear slipped down her eye while she shook head… no, no, no, no!

"Please say something" the crack in his voice only made her cry more

"Leave me alone" she almost whispered

"I know you feel the same, I read it in your eyes last night. In vino veritas Victoria, I don't need to tell you this"

He was right, he was damn right but she couldn't admit without deciding to be with him from that moment on and she couldn't, she couldn't let him use her until he got bored and sought the warmth of other women, the warmth she'd have never be able to give to him.

"I was just drunk and out of my mind, I didn't know what I was saying in fact I don't remember it"

"Stop faking for God's sake!" he yelled "The fact that I can't see your face doesn't mean I don't know when you lie to me!"

"Stop it!" a sob escaped her lips "Please stop"

"Are you crying?"

"I am not"

"You're lying again. Open the door!"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because I love you!"

"But I don't" she lied "I don't love you"

"If you really don't love me, tell me while you look me in the eyes"

"Will you leave me alone then?"

"I will for good"

She placed the hand on the doorknob but couldn't find the strength to move it. His words sunk in, he'd have left her for good… for good, it meant forever, it meant no more his smell, no more his hands on her, his kisses, no more sex, no more him. She had to do it- no, she couldn't, she couldn't, she… Victoria fell on her knees leaning against the door, the hand she kept pressing on her mouth muffled her sobs, she loved him so badly it hurt and she couldn't be with him but also could not be without him.

"Don't make me choose"

"You have to Victoria, you can't always get what you want, how you want and when you want. Do you love me or not?"

"Please…"

"Open the door and answer the question"

"I can't"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not ready to see you walk away"

"Is it for the sex?" he pushed trying to get the truth from her "I'm sure you'll find other volunteers to keep you company"

"It's not about that"

"And what is it about then?"

"You know what it is"

"I want to hear you say it!"

"Why? Nothing's going to change"

"It has to instead because I can't do this anymore. It's not what I want, not with you"

Victoria realized she wasn't going to get what she wanted, he did want more and he was determined to get it otherwise… she sighed and turned the doorknob, Conrad stood up from the floor and looked at her, she had red and puffy eyes, she cried like he imagined but she was beautiful anyway.

"I love you but I can't be with you, not again"

She turned around to close the door again but he stopped her.

"Why?"

"Let me go Conrad"

"No! You owe me an explanation"

She wiggled out of his grip "Don't you see? Every time we tried to fix our marriage things got only worse and in a blink you'll be running behind some other tramp"

"This time is different"

"It's never different! It's 26 years, it's never different!"

"We both made mistakes. I was too focused on the job, I let you alone and I cheated on you it's true but you didn't want me Victoria, you never loved me"

"So it's my fault now?"

"I said we both made mistakes. You're not a saint either dear, you fell in love with your lover and had a daughter with him. Do I need to remind you that?"

"That's the reason why we can't be together. We're full of contempt, we can't get over the past and move on"

"We hurt each other deeply but I want to forget the past and start anew with you. I love you"

"Love is not enough"

"And what does it take then? I'm ready to do whatever you want Victoria, I want you back"

He seemed so desperate, there was so much honesty in his eyes, he wasn't faking. There was no game or hidden purpose, he wanted her: for the first time in their marriage he did want to make things work.

She didn't know how to answer to his question because instinctively she'd have said 'love' but love was exactly what he was offering her with his heart and himself but she still wasn't convinced. She was too scared, too hurt, because no matter how much she hated him, pushed him or made him pay during all these years he was still the one who could crush her like anyone else in the world, he still had that power over her.

"Victoria…" he whispered

"I can't simply jump in your arms and say yes. We need to take things slow and…"

"Whatever you want" he smiled "I-"

"Let me finish" she rolled her eyes "I'm not promising you anything Conrad, I want to be clear… I don't trust you and if you want me back you need to gain my trust again and it won't be easy"

"I know, I know how much I hurt you and I'll never forgive myself for that"

"Fidelity is important to me and you had never shown me you can keep it in your pants. I know I cheated too and it was wrong but if I'm making an effort to fix this relationship you can be sure I'll be faithful and I need to be sure it's the same for you"

"I want only you Victoria, I haven't been with anyone expect you since we started being intimate again"

Victoria raised an eyebrow suspicious

"I haven't slept with anyone else and I can give you proves if you don't believe me"

"Or make them disappear"

"If you're really making an effort for us, you're not doing it well…"

"You keep tabs on me, if I decided to cheat on you you'd know even before I started undressing myself… But I can't say the same about you"

"You don't get it, do you?" he placed his hand on the doorjamb looking in her eyes "If I had you, I mean for real, I'd have never cheated, never"

She swallowed "You had me"

"I didn't, I had your body when you allowed me but I never had you completely and if we're doing this I want all of you, heart, soul and mind"

"You'll have to earn them"

"You can be sure I'll doing everything in power to do it"

He brushed her cheek and she closed her eyes enjoying his touch, Conrad wrapped his arm around her tiny waist gently, they were so close now and he couldn't suppress a laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked annoyed

"Because our conversation looked more a business transaction than other"

"We're both very good at getting what we want"

"Yes but I won this time"

"Are we keeping score?" she smirked

"Only of the times I make you smile"

She shook her head smiling and blushing

"You're so beautiful" he looked adoringly at her

"You're not so bad yourself Mr. Grayson" she smoothed the front of his jacket

He leaned forward making his intention clear before brushing his lips against hers and Victoria wrapped her hands around his neck kissing him softly, mingling their tongues together. She could feel him harden against her lower belly and smiled against his lips: she knew him so well but having such an immediate effect on him wasn't only a turn on, also a good stroke for her ego.

"I want you" he groaned, his mouth nibbling her neck

"Maybe you took this for granted too much dear" she smiled devilish pushing him away gently "Here's another thing you'll have to earn… my body"

"Victoria please…" he was begging

She looked down at the bulge of his pants "It's such a pity to waste it… but it's better this way. Considering it a tie, see you at dinner dear"

She kissed his cheek and closed the door behind herself smiling.