And now for part 2! Enjoy x I apologize for the really long chapter...
Raven had bought a mighty amount of books, he knew this because he was the one carrying them. Of course, she would. He had offered to pay, hadn't he? *sigh* thinking of what he could have spent that money on was only a memory now, he supposed it was worth it. After all, this was a 'date' to thank her for her kindness. They were currently back in the park sitting under a tree. She was quite contently reading one of her new books whilst he enjoyed the scenery. The park had quieted down since they were there earlier. Not that he cared much.
It was peaceful. The sun was setting. The wild mix of oranges and pinks were mesmerizing. It reminded him of his life back in Africa, of the nights where he'd sit with his mother and hear her talk and him tell stories of her home back in America. Now that he was here it was exactly as she had told him. Amazing. The masses of people running to and from their busy day-to-day lives, he remembered her describing them as buzzing bees in a hive. Quite the analogy. It was rush-hour and people raced to get home and forget about their day and see their families. It was almost like she had been sitting with him and describing what was in front of him. Just thinking of his mother brought him happy memories. A gentle smile on his face was the proof.
Yet now, he had no real family. No child to sit on his knee and listen to his own stories. His fathers name was to die with him.
He leant his head against the tree behind him. The Park was almost empty, The sun made a warm orange glow spread across the grass, like it were on fire. He could feel its warmth on his cheeks. This was what he liked about being suspended from duty, he could do this whenever he wanted. He could sleep-in till whenever he chose, He could watch TV and play video games all day, he was going to enjoy the time he had left.
His happy feeling was slowly striding away with the people outside.
"Gar?" He felt a soft hand on his shoulder. Bringing him back from his daydream. "Are you all right?" Raven had put her book down and was now facing him, how long had she been staring at him?
"Yeah." He raised his gaze to look at her, she was looking at him with that face she only showed to him, that concerned and caring expression. He would never truly get used to it. He'd spent the past nine years seeing her with that blank, almost distant look. Now she was showing her true colours. She cared.
The same glow that had encased the park, had surrounded her. She had the sides of her hair behind her ears, yet one cluster had escaped and flowed swiftly in the cool breeze. The contrast of orange on purple made her usually cold eyes more gentle and loving. Her eyes were what had drawn him to her. No matter her irritated she was she would always have a slight glimmer, once or twice he found himself staring in them while she yelled at him. Forgetting completely what he had done to make her angry.
She was beautiful.
How could he tell her how he felt? For so long he'd simply kept his feelings inside out of fear of pushing her away. After what she had went threw with Malchior, she had never trusted Affection like she used to. He wanted so badly to show her that love can be a wonderful thing and not something to hide away from. If she was afraid of being hurt, he had to show her that that would never happen. This was the perfect moment, a beautiful backdrop to what could be a beautiful moment. So what was stopping him?
Of course. Sakutia.
What possible hope was there for a relationship, when his own future was uncertain. For all he knew he might not be here next we...he stopped himself. He felt a pang of heart ache in his chest. She had never shown any interest in him up to now. She didn't like him when he was in full health so how would that change now that he's practically dying. It's pointless...
What was he thinking. He had promised her that he would be positive and optimistic. Thinking those sort of thoughts were only going to worry him further, and her. He could feel his heart beating in his chest. He couldn't be sure if it was from nervousness from his and Raven's date or from worrying.
Who was he kidding?
He'd been through Sakutia before. He knew what was going to happen. There's no way she'd fall for him now. He'd missed his chance. He slumped back against the tree and sighed.
Raven leaned forward in concern. "If your not feeling well we could head home?" She suggested.
"No. i'm good. How's your book?" Damn her empathy.
Raven could see from his pale complexion and weak expression that he was lying. "It's a good book. Thank you for buying me it." She tried to smile. She wished he'd be more truthful with her. He obviously forgot she can feel how much he hurts. Granted it wasn't as bad as it had been, but the truth was apparent in his face, always.
Every day that passed she couldn't help but think about him. He was getting weaker. She was sure the others were trying not to notice and focus completely on finding a cure, but she could see it clearly. She felt bad for spending so long in the bookstore, he had been wandering around aimlessly when he should have been sitting down and resting.
Things were getting worse. They were running out of time. Fast.
"Come on. We'll go home." She said as she packed her new books into their bags. She stood and turned as if she were to walk away and leave him. "Come on then." She waited for him to follow her.
The sun was setting when they arrived back home. Raven loved the sunset, though she'd never admit to it out loud. They were stood at Beast Boy's rock, the red and gold hue on the waves accompanied by the shimmering reflection of the moon, had somewhat relaxed Beast Boy's nerves slightly. But the thumbing in his chest remained. He took a quick sneaky peek at Raven, she usually hated to stay out too late, preferred to be inside reading by now. Yet she seemed happy enough.
Wait...happy?
He took a better look at her. She was happy. She was smiling. Granted it was a small smile, but a smile nonetheless. He'd done it. He'd made Raven smile. To say he was shocked would have been an understatement. He remembered the day he promised her that he wouldn't stop until he made her smile. He never thought the day would come. Oh well... Better late then never.
"...And what are you looking at?" Her voice broke him out of his trance, again.
"Uh, nothing...err No. I mean..." Crap. What am I doing? This is that perfect moment I was talking about before...come on. Man up Beast Boy! He turned to face her, he put the most serious face he could and looked into her beautiful eyes.
"You." He took a step closer, she didn't move away or insult him, her smile had disappeared though.
"What?"
"You...err...like the sunset?" Why could he never get his words out around her?
"Oh. Urm. Yes, I do actually." Did she sound disappointed? No, it was him and his wishful thinking. "It's beautiful."
"Yeah, Its beautiful" You're Beautiful...
He felt like in idiot. Not that he didn't feel like one usually. He knew he'd regret not telling her. So why wasn't he? He knew he loved her, he was certain of that. He knew she had feelings for him, She had told him so only a few hours ago.
What was he so scared about? Sure, he had Sakutia again. It was like an annoying, in denial ex-girlfriend, always there trying to break them up. This time. 'She's' not going to ruin his life.
"Raven..." Here it goes..."I think you're wonderful. You know what you want and you go for it. With what you were told about your father. You knew what you were going to do, yet you fought against it. You've always been the strong one. The one to depend on. You've been amazing these past few weeks, I would have given up by now if it weren't for you. Whenever i'm around you... I find I don't want to leave you, and when i'm not I wish I was. I've wanted to tell you for so long now Raven. My thoughts get all muddled up when i'm with you." He let out a little laugh.
"It's funny to think, but when we were kids, I would always get so nervous around you. I could never seem to get out a proper sentence, so i'd tell a joke, in hopes you wouldn't notice how nervous I really was. I guess what i'm trying to say Raven is that, I... I Love You."
There. He'd said it. His heart was beating so fast now. He could hear it ringing in his ears. It was deafening. Her silence only made the feeling worse. Shit. He'd told her too soon. His ears went back, his cheeks were red and his hands were trembling. What a catch. He should have just said that he liked her. Not loved her! What was he thinking? His head was spinning now. The tension between them was growing, He'd ruined everything. Now any chance he might have had with Raven was gone.
He opened his eyes and there she was. Gazing back at him. With that expression she always had. And just like that, he was caught in her eyes again. That awkward tension that had been following them all day was back. Why did he suck at this?
The cold night air was blowing, it made the goosebumps on their arms show. He could see her slightly shivering as she rubbed her upper arm. Out of pure instinct he reached out and wrapped his arms around her. He griped her firmly, she didn't reject the embrace which was a relief. He was surprised to feel a pair of slender arms hug him back, Who was this girl? And what had she done with Raven? He remembered the last time she had hugged him. He was surprised back then too.
He could have hated Cyborg that day. He had been about to hug her back, he could have had the chance to be with her. She had broken her barriers and shown him a different side to her completely. Trust Cyborg to butt in with his damn Stank Ball.
Raven couldn't believe what she was doing. She was acting like some love struck school girl. She had promised herself she'd never let love get the better of her again. It never ends well. Especially for her. Hadn't she leant her lesson? She mentally slapped herself. However, she thought, it felt good to be with him. She usually felt cold inside yet...he made her feel so warm. She had hated being touched let alone...hugged. So why does being hugged by Beast Boy feel so good?
She could hear his heart beating. It was thumbing so fast. He was just as nervous as she was. She felt him move backwards, he placed his hands on her shoulders, releasing them both from the hug. She was slightly disheartened, but knew they had to. It was getting dark and colder.
"Come on. We'll catch our deaths out here." He said as he held out his hand.
She knew if she took it, there'd be no turning back. They would be together. An item. In her opinion to love some one you had to entrust everything of yourself to that person, unconditionally. The old Raven would have never... never have allowed that to happen. So why did her heart ache when he let her go? She couldn't be...
In Love?
No. She was caught up in the moment. That's all. She raised her head to look at him. His green eyes were looking back at her. She saw the love and care he had for her. Hell, she could feel it. She felt it all day, but chose to ignore it.
Could they have a relationship?
Fear was a dangerous emotion. She had denied it before and she scared and possibly could have hurt her friends. Her powers were unpredictable. What if she hurt Beast Boy? She'd never forgive herself. He had been stressed all day thinking they wouldn't be able to be together because of his condition, And here she was stressing over her powers. She told him she didn't care about his condition, when really she did. In all honesty she was terrified. She was so scared, more than she had been her whole life. The fear of losing control of her powers seemed so little compared to how she felt now.
She was scared...of losing him.
Her powers had denied her of so much. Now. She really didn't care. It might just be her last chance.
"I Love you too, Garfield."
Happiness. Shear happiness.
That's how Beast Boy was feeling right now.
He was walking with Raven as quietly as they could down the long corridors of the Tower. It was late. Much later then they had expected. Their friends were surely fast asleep in their beds by now. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop the smile he had on his face. He was still in shock. She had told him she loved him. He was dreaming. He had to be. Then again. They were walking together hand in hand towards her bedroom. He thought since he couldn't walk her home, since they live together, she'd just have to settle with that.
His head was spinning. The night was becoming a blur. These sort of thing didn't happen. Not to him. His heart was thumping in his chest, he should calm down.
She loved him back.
Who'd have thought it. Raven loved him.
They reached her room quicker than either of them would have preferred. They wanted to stay like they were, holding hands, feeling each others heart beats in their palms.
"Well, here we are." He said trying to smother his disappointment.
"Yeah, I guess... Thank you for today Gar. " She replied with a small smile. Her eyes were fixated on her door. His on the floor. Why were they so nervous? It was like it was the first time they'd ever met each other, they were 16 all over again. Beast Boy knew he had to make a move now or never. He'd made it this far, no turning back.
"Your welcome." He moved towards her. He placed his hand on her chin and lifted it to look at him. She turned so she could see him better, his warm hands felt good on her cold skin. He'd wished for so long to touch her. No. For her to allow him to touch her. His heart was beating in his throat, he was glad his hands weren't sweating, that would ruin the moment. Her eyes were amazing, they were like glistening amethyst's. He could stare into them for hours.
He hadn't realized he had been leaning in towards her. He was so close to her. The closest he had ever been. The feeling of her breath on his face was pulling him in. Was she going to let him kiss her? Should he risk it?
No.
He leant in and gently placed a kiss on her cheek. For those few small moments he felt like he were floating, like gravity itself had gave up resisting. And just like that. It was over. If he lingered any longer it would be borderline creepy.
"Goodnight Raven." He gave her his signature smile. "Sweet dreams."
"Goodnight Beast Boy." She opened her door and walked in, she turned as he raised his hand to say goodbye. He continued to look at her door after she had closed it. His heart refused to calm, his mind was spinning. He felt weak at the knees. Had that really happened?
He was surprised he had made it to his room without collapsing. He was overjoyed. Glancing around his room he took a mental note, OK, if me and Raven are going to start dating...I have to clean this mess. His entire body felt like it weighed nothing. All the emotions spinning around in his head, he couldn't concentrate.
Then something felt wrong.
His head hurt. The spinning feeling had worsened. It was a sharp pain in the back of his head, he felt lightheaded and weak. He took a few steps forward, towards his bed but it only made it worse.
"Urrgh" He tried to steady himself by taking some deep breaths. This can't be happening. Not now. He pushed himself to get to his bed. He thought the only way he was going to get there was if he ran. He mustered up all the energy he had and leapt forward. He could touch his sheets. Thank god. He climbed into bed and curled up into his usual ball and let unconsciousness take him.
Morning came sooner than Beast Boy would have liked. Remembering the pain he felt last night he was scared to sit up. He felt OK though. He sat up and waited...Nope no nausea. He felt relieved, He really didn't want another episode to ruin his happiness from last night, but the headache remained persistent. He glanced at his clock. It read 12:27, had he really slept that long?
Slowly and carefully he got up and walked across his room. He felt a little unsteady but not as bad as he had last night. What had happened last night? He thought it only happened when he over did it with his powers, maybe it was the disease getting worse. That was just what he needed. He made his way to the common room, he was surprised he hadn't passed anybody on his way there. Where were they? Once he arrived at the common room he saw the alarm bleeping on the huge screen.
They were on a mission.
This was what he didn't like about being suspended. His friends were out saving the city and here he was, bored. He had thought it was going to be fun. No early morning training being dragged out his bed and especially no missions. Now, it was just him and chores. Not what he had in mind.
He glanced at the kitchen. He had been left with a mountain of dishes, dishes he didn't feel up to clean. Yet if they came home and saw he'd done nothing but play video games, they'd be furious and the last thing he wanted was them giving him a lecture. He already had a headache and making it worse was not on the agenda. He walked to the sink and turned the tap, filling the basin with water.
Right now, the others were fighting Mumbo. He picked up a dish and began rubbing a cloth in circles on it. Mumbo was probably attempting to rob some bank, and bring them down with his 'magic' tricks. There was this constant nagging in the back of his mind telling him they needed him. His instincts screamed at him to protect his friends, He wanted to run to them and fight by their side, yet he knew he couldn't. It would be the death of him. Not by Sakutia, but by Raven.
The silence in the room reminded him that this was how his life must be now. Ever since he was a child and first became 'Beast Boy' he thought he'd be this almighty superhero and go down in history, like Batman. But now what would his legacy be? The weak link of the Teen Titans, The one defeated by his own body. Nice.
What was with this headache?
It wasn't going away. He had took aspirin, what else could he do?
It was seriously bugging him. It was just a headache, he hadn't had a Sakutia related attack for weeks. The pain in his head grew more intense. He dropped the dish he was cleaning, it smashed on the floor. The loud crash sound seemed a drill through him like nails on a chalkboard. It hurt like hell. He only wanted it to stop. Why was this happening?
He wobbled his way to the sofa, and dropped on its soft cushions. It felt better to lie down, but the pain was still drumming against his skull. His ears were ringing, it felt just like before, back when they had battled Dr Light. He needed Cyborg. Hell, he needed Raven. He wanted to see her. He couldn't leave her, not after getting so close.
"Aarghh." He grabbed the collar of his T-shirt, that all to familiar stab feeling in his chest confirmed his fears. Sakutia was winning. His heart was beating so fast, he was scared. His friends weren't home. They were on a mission, they might not be home for hours. He couldn't do anything. This really was the end. His breath was caught in his throat. He couldn't breathe, his whole body was trembling, his chest convulsed as it tried to grab air but failed.
He needed to call Cyborg. He reached for his communicator but his legs couldn't hold his weight any longer. He crashed to the floor, His head hit the hard surface, he could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness from the impact, but he willed himself to stay awake. If he fell asleep, he knew he wouldn't wake up.
His body shook uncontrollably as he began to cough. This was bad. Much worse then before. He wished he wasn't alone. Why of all times must this happen now? It hurt when coughed. The strain it caused on his throat made it more difficult to breathe. Warm tears fell down his face. He was dying. This was the end of Beast Boy. The end of Garfield Logan.
He closed his eyes. He gave up fighting. There was no use. He was useless, vulnerable. He heard a loud noise from behind. He could have sworn it was the door.
"Gar!" He heard her. He heard Raven. He opened his eyes and there she was. Like an angel. Watching over him.
"Raven?...I'm sorry. I couldn't...I wasn't strong enou..." she placed her hand on his mouth.
"Shh. Shup up will you? Of course you're strong enough. You need to be OK." He saw her tears fall onto his face. They were cold. What he hated more than seeing her upset, was that she was crying over him. He tried to tell her that he was OK. That he would always be OK as long as she was with him. He tried to tell her that he loved her. No sound came from his lips. He was mouthing the words just no sound. His short rasped breath was all she heard.
He couldn't leave, not now. He had to tell her one last time.
I Love You...
Sorry that this was really long... I kinda got caught up in the fluffyness of the romance. I think I might have over done it though. What you think? R&R please... x :) GP x
