Ch. 7

GG: dave you didnt drink the tea i gave you did you?

TG: no was it supposed to help me sleep or some shit because that ride home was awful and i feel like the energy bunny

TG: all pink and banging at my drums

TG: been like 10 hours

TG: thats the power of duracell

GG: dave you are making more silly references to things that i dont understand!

TG: sorry sorry

TG: im not a big tea fan so i gave my share away

GG: oh no :(

TG: uh

TG: was it like a present

TG: cause im really sorry if it was

GG: no its okay i didnt give you too much but

TG: what

GG: you were supposed to drink it! :(

TG: why

GG: this is going to sound really mean of me...

TG: well out with it

Jade proceeded to explain that she had developed quite a few remedies for various ailments and things of the like in her younger, exploratory days of being a botanist. She'd come up with a few narcotic substances and hallucinogens along the way, a point that Dave tacked on many jokes upon. That certainly would've explained the major acid trip that the whole trip had been.

Then there were some other findings done later, researched and more intentional. Among them was certainly a painkiller/anasthetic, but there was something else that she was driven to discover: an amnesiac, and she found it. And tried to give it to him.

TG: woah there what

GG: i know

GG: im really sorry but you understand

GG: no one is supposed to know where i live

TG: so what

TG: you give me some magic voodoo tea to forget that you ever existed

GG: yes...

GG: i'm sorry dave but i do it to everyone who finds out where i live

GG: let alone all the things i showed you! like my dog and the ruins...

GG: no one else knows about these things

TG: so like you don't trust im gonna keep your whole deal a secret? like anyone would believe me

GG: its not that

GG: there are more spies and ways to spy on people over there than you would expect

GG: there were a million ways to discover things while i was still there

GG: imagine how much more she can do now

GG: i mean if she wanted to find me she probably could but as much as possible i would prefer to be as off the radar as possible

TG: is this the part where you like disappear and i get obsessed trying to find out who you were and stuff like in the movies

TG: wait no you wanted me to forget about you completely

TG: getting mixed signals here doc harley

TG: like first youre all boom boom baby lets get it on

GG: i dont think i was like that dave...

TG: then never come back dave strider farewell beautiful maiden

GG: or that

TG: like girl you gotta get your story straight cause right now its more twisted than a three year old trying to tie his shoes

TG: the bunny ear style dont work so he goes for the run around the hill method but shits just gone cray and now his fingers are all caught up in a double loop dee loop

TG: so his parents give up and get him velcro instead

GG: um i dont know exactly where that was going and how we ended up there!

TG: yeah me neither

GG: but if it means anything

GG: im happy you didnt drink it :)

GG: so thats the velcro part i think?

TG: sure

After that fiasco, Jade and Dave kept in contact on Pesterchum. They figured it was the least conspicuous way of communication seeing as it was probably one of the lowest forms of computer technology there was around. After much exaggerated yet still heartfelt apologizing, Dave made a big deal about forgiving Jade for toying with his emotions like some playboy.

He would send her pictures of his latest project, tell her about the mishaps of the day on set, which she would listen to enthusiastically. He tended to do most of the talking as his life wasn't as static as hers, but now and then he would try to wrap his head around whatever discovery she would make. He kept himself online almost constantly with his phone to talk to her until one day when he overheard some of the set assistants gossiping about him, saying how they caught him smiling while he was on his phone. God, it wasn't like he was incapable of facial expressions. Still, he felt particularly exposed about the whole ordeal and tried to keep his talking with Jade as private as possible from then on.

He found himself blowing off more and more social event to get home to his computer instead where he could send her links to shitty movies streaming online. Rose not so vaguely wondered if the sentiment counted as dating, which he tried to ignore. As if watching crappy films simultaneously and commenting on how horrendous they were was something remotely romantic. He continued to think so for all but two weeks when Jade told him that she'd be out on their usual Friday movie night to test out some outdoor environments for a new set of plants she had been breeding. Essentially that meant she was camping out for the night and wouldn't have a good enough signal to talk to him. She told him maybe he could be like a normal person and watch a movie that was actually good in a theater with someone. Then she signed off.

That Friday Dave found himself extremely bored. Even Rose who was usually cooped up writing until her hands went numb had a book signing to attend to out of town. He sprawled on his couch and tried to watch television. When one of the two dozen Betty Crocker commercials aired he immediately shut the thing off and gave his all into making some shitastic music. He got a few good bits and parts, but nothing really came together.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] -

TG: rose are you back yet

TG: god how longs it take to write down your name a bunch of times

TG: unless you only know how to write on the computer

TG: or you burned up in the sun when you went outside

TG: had one of those

TG: oh god the light it burns

TG: moments

TG: yeah thats probably what happened

TG: you turned into a witch or something from being home alone all the time

He sighed. Leave it to Rose to be gone on the one day he could use her abysmal amount of attention and analyzing to get him through the hours. A minute later he heard his phone go off with a message.

TT: Dave you're being pathetic.

TG: rude

TG: hello to you too

TT: Hello.

TT: Have you been moping around all day?

TG: define moping

TT: I figured as much, what with Jade gone for what now, 10 hours?

TG: like 11 hours and 26 minutes thank you

TT: Right, and what have you managed to do to occupy your time since then?

TG: plenty of stuff

TG: watched some tv, mixed some totally sweet new songs

TG: like all the songs

TG: i made all the songs and watched all the tv

TG: productive as shit

TT: I'm going to take that last bit literally.

TT: Will you please just admit to yourself, and to me, that you have a Jade dependency? It'll make this whole process so much shorter.

TT: Though if you're as desperate for me to gracefully act as your guide to enlightenment on the matter as I am to take you there, then by all means keep up the blatant and pointless denial.

TG: why did i want you back

TG: like

TG: what is even wrong with me to wish youd get your ass here to pester me

TT: Is this what Strider affection feels like? It's like I'm basking in the warm glow of an inactive volcano.

TG: wow yeah, you should feel my deep love like the power of fifty thousand flamethrowers trying to burn your witch ass on a stake

TT: I do wish you'd stop calling me a witch or vampire or whatever cliche mythological creature is popular at the moment.

TG: right youre a wizard girl all the way

TG: as if that ship hasnt been dragged through the oceans a billion times before being run into the ground so hard its finally resurfaced in china

TG: i thought girl wizards were called witches anyways

TT: That very well may be, but the witches you're referring to are so much less fascinating.

TG: sorry to get your wizard panties in a bunch

TG: oh fuck forget i mentioned that

TT: What? Your desire to cross dress? Why would I bring that up when you manage to segue into the topic all on your own? I'd be happy to take a detour to talk about that tonight also.

TG: oh my fucking god no

TG: you know what

TG: fine lets talk about how much you ship me with jade

TT: Oh no. I was looking forward to pushing you towards your drag queen destiny.

TG: yeah well too bad

TT: Indeed.

TG: so what this deal with jade that you think i have

TT: Seeing as how you're a wreck after, what's the clock say now? 11 hours and 53 minutes? I think it should be obvious you're obsessed with her and rather clingy at that.

TG: nope does not compute

TT: I thought we agreed that you admitting this would make this whole thing much easier on the both of us.

TG: and take away all the joy you get from dissecting me to pieces, blending the chunks of emotional carcass and spoon feeding them to me? id never be so cruel lalonde

TT: Oh thank you. So considerate of you to let me have one of the few untouched pleasures I have in my lonely cat woman life.

TG: youre fucking welcome

For the next two hours Rose did a marvelous job of shoving feelings up Dave's ass until they came out the other end and he finally had a verbal vomit session of admission that maybe he kind of had a Harley thing. After a day with her, and a few months into knowing her via bright green text on Pesterchum, he was a mess for one Jade Harley. Maybe. Probably. Fuck she just signed on in the midst of the wreckage. Rose decided to be pure evil incarnate by psyching him out while he was in the middle of a mental breakdown to boot. What should he say, what should he do?

Once Dave received a happy message of greeting from her the whirlwind tornado comes to a sudden stop. The debris lands everywhere and it's pretty much a disaster, yet Dave felt oddly okay realizing for the first time that he is watching it all on a screen. Jade Harley is a person on the other side of a computer, so he should be able to keep his shit together. What's so intimidating about words? Nothing. He can take his ass and shove in the refrigerator to fucking chill because even if he did have a thing for this girl she was in the middle of the ocean anyways. Yes, Jade was miles and miles away.

- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] -

GG: hi dave :)

And it was in that moment that Dave Strider realized that Jade was really fucking far away, and he needed to see her like right a fucking way.

Too bad he had no idea how to get there.

TG: harley where the fuck do you live even

-x.x.x.x.x.x-

Hi everyone and happy New Year! This chapter was really chat based... and that's always intimidating because it's more pressure to be in character when I'm sure I'm terrible at that. Hope you all have great years! It's our year homestucks! :D