Kieren and Simon have decided to have an early night, and when they arrive home from their Give Back work, Amy is already in her bedroom.

It is late and all the residents of Conyers Road have retired to bed. Rows of dark houses stand dormant under the amber street lamps, tiny droplets of water that make up the thin mist of rain illuminate under their hazy glow.

The bungalow is quiet.

Simon and Kieren's room is bathed in darkness, except for a thin sliver of light from the crack in the curtains where each side meet, escaping from the street outside. It flows like liquid gold across the bed and produces long elongated shadows that dance across the room as the sheets that cover the bed shift.

The only noise that penetrates the silence is the sound of their mingled breathing as they try to make as little noise as possible with Amy asleep in the next room. Each breath they take is rough and fast, as if there is not enough oxygen in the room to support their excursions. Neither men need it, but remembered reflexes of being alive and muscle memory is difficult to suppress when all their senses are so completely consumed in the moment.

Simon moves steadily above Kieren, while the springs of the mattress groan underneath their weight and squeak rhythmically beneath them. His cool lips search blindly for their receptive counterparts, and in finding such a willing target, press greedily against them. Two sets of hungry mouths move in the dark to trace familiar contours as gentle kisses fall randomly onto bare flesh, while strong hands and slender fingers, squeeze and grip solid muscle making their way up and down each others bodies. Each touch makes the necessary silence more and more difficult to preserve.

Pressing his face into the hollow of Kieren's neck, Simon stifles the soft moan of his lover's name. It is not just the physical sensation that overwhelms him - although he never imagined his undead body could feel like this – but the emotional connection of being so close to the one person that has seemingly and quietly fused their soul with his. It is the greatest high he has ever experienced and nothing, in either of his lifetimes, has ever come close to the experience of this intimacy with Kieren.

Only it is more than that. Simon cannot image that the peace that this brings, along with the irony of feeling so alive, could ever be equalled - let alone surpassed - by any everlasting life any religion promises.

Kieren balls the cool cotton sheets underneath his fingers into a fist in a futile attempt not to make any noise in response to the sensations induced by Simon's steady pace. He worries that it is approaching a point where his reactions may well be involuntary, but neither of them wish to wake Amy from her slumber in the next-door bedroom.

Simon can feel Kieren is oh-so-close and he concentrates on giving him pleasure before taking his own.

Simon was not even thirty years old when he died; but still of an age that all but guaranteed he had more than attained his fair share of lovers in that lifetime.

He had been raised to respect the fairer sex to the point of old fashioned chivalry. He would always give up his seat without a second's thought if he saw a woman standing. Cursing or speaking badly in front of them was unimaginable, but opening doors and offering to carry even a stranger's heavy bags was practically an automatic reflex. His mother had brought her son up well as that sort of thing was ingrained into him even now, but never, in his whole life, did he feel so much as the most meagre of sexual attraction to any female that crossed his path.

By the time he hit puberty, a sexual identity crises seemed null and void, as the animalistic nature of any sexual act felt somehow inappropriate to him to inflict on a women. He had slept with women in the past, of course he had. Simon was nothing if not someone who would always try anything at least once, but they were far too delicate and so small, soft and to his mind extremely fragile, it was if he were defiling them in some sordid kind of way and he despised himself for it.

So it was men he found himself drawn to; men he understood. They were like him, robust and strong, and able to weather all the feral passion he threw at them, no matter how fierce. The irony was though, that it had always been the slighter, gentler types who caught his eye and peaked his interest.

The contempt he kept caged deep within for himself since childhood, made his desire for men easier, as he knew they could take everything he had to give and push back equally as hard in return - sometimes even, with more ferocity still - and it took him out of himself. It was the first thing he had discovered that had the ability to wipe his mind clean during those fleeting encounters, without the need of narcotics or any other chemical substance. It was not sex, it was not making love, it was fucking, and his sexual conquests had been made up of partners who entered his life suddenly and left just as quickly. Every relationship he had ever had was always fleeting, never allowing himself to stick around long enough for any emotional attachment to have time to germinate.

He could never have imagined how being with someone he cared so deeply for, could make it so much more, as that was all before he was chosen to leave the commune with Amy and went on his mission to the village of Roarton, to find The First Risen.

All before he met Kieren Walker.

And the moment he saw Kieren, he knew he was in trouble. He may have found The First Risen, but he had also found something even more sacred.

Sitting on his gravestone, mesmerized by the view of the valley on that cold misty morning, Simon had turned to see beauty that surpassed even that of the wild, raw and untamed pulchritude beyond.

He had not expected it and it came as a bolt out of the blue. Amy had spoken at length about her friend and during those conversations he imagined him as a shining bright diamond amongst all the fossilized blacked coal of the Lancashire valley from which they lived. He thought it would be an easy conversion. All he would need to do was just clear away all the dust and debris around Amy's friend and introduce him to the light. Then Simon had seen him, and even underneath the mousse and the contacts, light already shone brightly from Kieren Walker. It shone out of him practically from every pore.

He radiated it. He generated it and its heat warmed Simon.

He could feel the charge immediately, but unlike any addiction he had ever known, in that moment he knew it was one he never wanted to be without. It was not what he was in Roarton for, in fact, it was remarkably bad timing all things considered – a distraction using up precious energy and time when he should be focusing on his real purpose there – but God help him, he could not resist the pull of what seemed to Simon as an Angel in human form.

He had a pure soul, that much was obvious. Kieren was moral and true, standing by his principles and being ruled by a good heart. Simon recognised that before the thought even crossed his mind that he could be The First.

Kieren might have been a little naïve to the evils of the world - which at times Simon had found more than a little frustrating when Kieren's stubborn morals clashes against his own - but that innocence only made him more of an attraction to him.

Simon would be lying to say that Kieren's virtue - as he was later to discover - also applied to his life experiences and allowed Simon to be the first person to take Kieren's lips for the first time and kiss him, was not a turn on to him. And then to be given the gift of being the first to take his body - to be the only person to be allowed to explore and worship it - touched him on a deeper level entirely. That he was the one Kieren had chosen to bestow this privilege to, sent shivers down his exposed spine.

Simon had always had the confidence that comes from knowing who he was and what he wanted, and it had allowed him the experience Kieren lacked. Neither of them liked labels; alive or undead, gay, bisexual or straight - ultimately it was who you were, deep down in the darkest recesses of your soul, that mattered - and there was recognition there between them, as if an invisible thread linked one to the other and pulled them constantly together. Kieren was what Simon craved and Simon was what Kieren needed. They were a match in both mind and spirit.

There is a noise in the hallway. They barely even register it over their laboured breathing, but then it sounds again.

"What's that?" Kieren asks, raising his head and peering over Simon's shoulder towards the door, trying to better hear.

Simon slows, looking at Kieren's face in the dim light. You've got to be kidding.

"What?" he questions, trying to catch his breath.

"I heard a noise."

Not now, just not right now.

Simon answer does little to disguise his frustration. "Probably just Amy."

"Do yer think she's alright?"

Simon had told Kieren about Amy's nightmare, but she always scolded him for worrying over her too much. He is reluctant to be chastised again, especially when all he can focus on right now is Kieren. The feel of him, the taste of him, and the sounds he makes when he touches him as they learn each other's bodies a little better. When Simon is with Kieren he can never think straight, and lately when he is not around him, he cannot think of anything else at all but him.

"Don't worry, she's fine," Simon soothes, taking his mouth in an urgent kiss as means of a distraction.

It works and Kieren's attention is drawn back into the moment.

The muted creak of the dodgy floorboard by the kitchen echoes through the otherwise silent bungalow.

"Think I better check on her," Kieren whispers apologetically.

Simon sighs, stopping completely above Kieren's concern.

Composing himself, he rolls to the side for the second time in as many days, allowing Kieren to throw the covers off to get out of bed. He fumbles around on the floor for his pyjama bottoms and t-shirt, pulls them on hastily and opens the door to the hallway, peering out into the gloom.

"Amy?" he calls out, keeping his voice low.

There is no answer.

He notices a white gleam coming from underneath the kitchen door.

"Amy, is that you? Yer alright?"

Still no answer.

Approaching the entrance, he pushes down on the handle, opening it slowly.

The fridge door is ajar, casting cold illuminations around the kitchen. A dark figure crouches down in front of it.

"Phil?"

Philip stands up abruptly in surprise as if he has just been caught with his hand in the biscuit tin. He is wearing nothing but Amy's silk kimono dressing grown, which fits where it touches. Kieren tries not to laugh.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake yer both," Phil apologises awkwardly.

It is only now that Kieren notices that Simon has appeared behind him in the entrance to the kitchen, himself clad only in a pair of worn jeans. He notices the top button has been left unfastened and starts to regret his decision to go and investigate the noise.

"No, it's okay. We were still up." That is one way of putting it.

Simon raises his eyebrows at Kieren, who does his best not to react to the unintentional innuendo.

"Didn't know ye were staying over, Phil?" Simon says, leaning against the doorframe and folding his arms so casually, anyone would think that he had just been playing chess with Kieren in their room and not… well, anyway.

Phil seems to realise he is starting to refrigerate the whole neighbourhood by leaving then fridge door open and closes it with his foot guiltily.

"Amy wanted a midnight snack," he says, by way of an explanation.

"I know the feeling," Simon whispers into Kieren's ear, only to receive a "Shhh!" and a jab in the ribs for his troubles.

"Don't think we've much in still."

"Well, there wouldn't be. You two not eating, I mean," he smiles before his face falls sharply at the realisation that the comment was perhaps less than tactful.

Simon unfolds his arms and stands up straight.

"Right, I can't take the rejection any more," he says to Kieren, and then as he turns to leave, "If everything's okay here, I'm going back to bed."

Walking back into the darkness of the hallway, he gives his lover a knowing grin as he goes.

"And Kieren?" Kieren looks at him as Simon winks back, "Don't be long, will ye?"

Philip notices Simon's back and gasps quietly in surprise as he exits. Kieren does not need to look to see what has caught his eye. They wait until they hear the bedroom door being pulled to.

"Is that what he died of?" Philip asks quietly.

Kieren shakes his head. "No, that was done after, while he was at the treatment centre. Halperin and Weston experimented on him, their idea of trying to find a cure."

"I see," he says looking horrified. "Well, I guess they found one in the end, at least." And then realising he has put his foot in it again, quickly adds, "For some people, anyway."

"For some people," Kieren agrees solemnly.

"So, what's going on here then?" Amy practically sings out from the hallway.

Her hair is slightly bedraggled and she appears to be donning what looks like Philip's work shirt. It is all creased and wrinkled, as if it had been hurriedly retrieved from the floor, yet she is still approaching the kitchen door with a smile that is a pure 'Amy Special.'

"If I didn't know better, I'd think yer two were in cohoots over something."

Both men shake their heads automatically in denial.

"Yer dirty beasts!" she gasps, "Sneaking out here to plot a threesome. What are yer like?"

Kieren rolls his eyes while Philip looks on aghast at her suggestion.

"Hi Amy. I heard a noise and assumed it was you. Just thought I better check yer were okay."

"Okay? I'm not just okay, I'm a sex goddess, me! Isn't that right, Tiger?" Tiger just smiles shyly back at her. "Then again, he's not so bad himself," she finishes, dropping her voice so only Kieren can hear the last part.

"I think I'll go back to bed," Kieren says a little embarrassed, mainly for Philip.

"Oooh, where the magic happens, handsome?"

"Er, yep, something like that."

"Either that, or to oil those bed springs!" Kieren eyes widen as she shoots him a knowing look. "Surprised the neighbours got any kip at all while I was away with that racket going on every night."

Kieren decides not to comment and instead makes a hasty escape. Their nocturnal habits and what the neighbours may or may not think about it - or anything else for that matter - does not concern him anymore. He also knows having Simon in his life now is to thank for that.


The four of them decide to walk together to the village hall for the Give Back assembly, Simon and Kieren as participants, Philip as organiser and Amy just going along too as she does not have anything better to do with her day and is simply happy for the opportunity to spend the day with Philip. There was a time when she would have done anything to not spend time cooped up with him in the village hall, assisting him with menial tasks like answering the phone and helping him with filing, but things have changed quite dramatically for them now.

"Just promise me yer won't answer the phone with anything," Philip stumbles over his words as he continues, "inappropriate this time?"

"Inappropriate?" Amy repeats, doing a very bad impression of Philip's voice. "Like what?"

"Like answering as the 'Village of the Damned, how can I help you?'" Philip pleads, as they enter the empty hall. "Please Amy?"

"What's it worth?"

"Well…" He tries to think of a suitable reward, but comes up empty.

"Never mind, I'm sure I can think of something. Anyway, was planning on saying, 'You have reached the winter of our discontent' this time, so."

"AMY!"

"I'm kidding," she sighs. "Don't be such an old Grotbags!"

Gary, Dean and the Give Back participants are yet to arrive, which means Simon and Kieren are not just on time, but early for once. No one will be threatening them with non-compliance today, which will make a change.

Amy nods back at Philip seriously, raising two fingers in oath, "Scouts honour."

"Amy, you were never in the Cub Scouts. I know, because I was troop leader."

"I dunno," Amy shrugs, "Brownies then. Would have loved to see yer in your uniform though, bet yer looked dead sexy, like Richard Gere in An Officer and a Gentleman."

Philip looks at her puzzled. "He was in the Navy, wasn't he?"

"Alright, Tom Cruise in Top Gun then!"

"Erm, I think that was the Navy too." There is no 'think' about it, but once Amy has an idea in her head, there is usually no talking her out of it.

In fact, Amy is still going on about it as she follows him into the office.

"No, as he was a pilot, dumdum. That means he'd have to be in the air force."

Philip gathers his meeting notes and decides the safest option is to drop the subject, smartish.

"Oh yeah," he laughs, "In that case, yer must be right. Air Force, of course."

By the time they come back out, Simon and Kieren have arranged the chairs ready for the meeting. They are in conversation, but Amy has missed half of it.

"Ye working this weekend?" Simon is asking Kieren as they both finish off straightening the lines of seats.

"Am Friday night, but got all of Saturday off."

"Ye think ye could get Friday off too? Thinking about taking a trip to the city. See me dad," Simon clarifies, somewhat nonchalantly.

"Oh. Okay," Kieren says, sitting down in the back row, shrugging off his coat and pulling the bright orange, 'I'm PDS and I'm Giving Back' bib, over his head. "Well I can speak to Pearl, see if I can swap around the shifts."

Simon joins him sitting down. He takes his own bib off his shoulder, but does not put it on.

"What's this?" Amy asks, plonking herself next to Simon with a thump. "Yer not going on a day trip without me, I hope?"

"Simon's going to see his dad," Kieren explains.

"That's good. Hey, no, that's great, in fact. If you're going to the city, we could all go? You two, me and Philip."

Simon does not respond and Kieren is left to second guess whether it is because he would rather make this difficult trip alone, just the two of them, or is not bothered one way or the other and so has no further contribution to give on the subject.

Kieren eyes Amy suspiciously. What is her interest in the city all of a sudden, anyway?

"Why would yer want to come with us?"

"Well," Amy starts and Kieren can hear there is something monumental – in Amy's opinion anyway – coming. "There's this club I've heard about. It's called the Lazy Jones."

"A club?" Kieren asks dubiously.

"Yeah, it's for people like us. Well, like you, well like… Anyway, it's meant to be rocking."

Simon has not spoken to his father in a long time, so clubbing is probably not going to be high on his priorities of things to do when they get there.

"Well…" Kieren begins, wondering how to word this without giving too much of Simon's business away, or offending Amy for that matter. But she is far too excited by the idea to let him continue with whatever he is about to say.

"I'll speak to Philip. He's got a car now, for business purposes." The way she says business purposes sounds very much like terminology Philip might have used and she is just repeating them. "He could drive us there."

It would certainly be easier than catching a train. People were not too keen on seeing PDS Sufferers on public transport these days for obvious reasons after the past years terrorist attacks.

Amy is up and out of her chair before either Simon or himself have chance to say anything further on the subject.

"Where are yer going?" Kieren calls out to her as she passes Philip, who just gawks after her as she disappears back into the office.

"Going to get Philip's laptop," Amy calls back. "To look at hotels, obviously."

"Well, guess that's settled then," Simon says to Kieren and Philip, who both look a little railroaded by it all.

Philip just smiles, somewhat dazed, and turns his attention back to his notes, sitting down away from them at the front.

"We could tell her no. If you'd rather?" Kieren whispers. He would always let Amy have her way in all things, but not at the expense of Simon, especially not when it was this important for him.

"No. If it doesn't go well, might as well make sure the weekend isn't an entire washout."

They sit in silence now until Simon notices Kieren smiling to himself.

"What?"

Kieren shakes his head, "Nothing," which would look a little more convincing, were he not wearing a grin from ear to ear.

"Kieren, what?"

"It's just... It'll be our first weekend away together."

"It will," Simon agrees, putting his arms around his shoulders. "Next time, if these phantom certificates they promise ever appear, maybe I'll get to take ye to Dublin." He kissed Kieren. "Show ye where I grew up." Kieren kissed him back. "And then to Paris, maybe?" They kissed again. "Berlin. And then, who knows where?"

This sort of behaviour would normally be reserved for their private time together, as neither men feel particularly comfortable with public displays of affection, but there is only Amy and Philip there to see them and they have seen it all before by now anyway. In fact, they are so engrossed in each other, they fail to notice that other people have started filing in to the hall, until someone clears their throat near by causing them to both look up.

"Alright?"

Zoe is standing in front of them. She is au naturel as usual and wearing her favourite tea cosy woolly hat, with her lank peroxide hair matching her bleached bare skin and contactless eyes.

Brian is beside her, and nods, "Simon, Kieren" in greeting, as if he has been coerced into doing so.

Kieren looks at the two of them and frowns. Well this is a turn up for the books, thought as far as they were concerned Simon was a traitor and they blamed Kieren for leading him astray.

"We're good, thanks," Kieren answers with very little warmth in his voice.

"Good. We should meet up sometime? It's been ages," Zoe continues, as if the events of the Beating of the Bounds March had never happened.

"Sure," Simon agrees, although Kieren doubts he is being sincere.

Amy is back with the laptop and does not notice Zoe and Brian as she sits down again beside Simon.

"Found a PDS friendly hotel that has two rooms for Friday and Saturday night," she says.

When neither Simon or Kieren reply, she looks up to see who they are in conversation with and glares immediately at the pair in front of her. She had little time for Zoe before, but after what had happened, she has none whatsoever now.

"If yer wouldn't mind, got important stuff to discuss here."

Zoe nods, her smile fixed in place.

"Will catch yer later then," she says, before pulling Brian away.

The three of them watch in silence as they sit on the opposite side of the room.

Kieren is the first to comment, "That was weird!"

"Oh, who cares about them!" Amy bristles. "Anyway, take a look-see at this hotel I've found."


The rest of the week had dragged for all but Simon. Amy was giddy with excitement for the weekend, Kieren and Philip were reserving judgement on whether it was going to turn out a great success or a dismal failure, and Simon was secretly apprehensive at the idea of seeing his father again.

Amy had booked two double rooms online for both nights at a Comfort City Express. It was one of those 'hotels for businessmen' style establishments. They were clean, basic and no matter where you stayed, they all looked exactly the same, so you knew what you were getting whichever one you stayed at. Apparently it was PDS friendly as when it comes down to it, business is business, and if the undead had money to spend, they were not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Simon had stayed in this particular hotel before, but chose not to share that information with the others, in case Kieren asked when that had been and what for.

The hotel had a chain bar and restaurant next door to it, which served breakfast in the morning for the hotel guests and was all included in the price. PDS guests naturally did not get the rooms at a discounted rate, even though they would be forgoing the meal.

The four of them had left Roarton on Friday afternoon after the Give Back working day had finished. Philip had driven them to the city and stuck to the speed limit the entire way - shuffling the wheel instead of crossing his arms over when he took turnings, and tutting at cars as they overtook him - until Amy complained he was an "old man driver" and he found the accelerator.

They arrived at the hotel just before six, and after collecting their key cards from reception, made their way to their rooms with the agreement of meeting in 'The Toad and Crown' next door, before heading to the club later on.

Amy and Philip were already drinking in the bar by the time Simon and Kieren arrived and before they could object, Amy ordered a couple of bottles of HiGlow as soon as she spotted them coming through the doors. It seemed nearly everywhere was stocking it now.

Kieren had struggled to find appropriate clothing for the evening, not having been to a club before, but Simon was wearing new clothes that Kieren had insisted he bought a few months before. Most of what he had brought with him from the commune were hand-me-downs as he had taken very little with him from Norfolk, and his father had given his old clothes away to charity after he died, thinking he would never have need for them again.

Simon's appearance was never something that particularly concerned him. He had always been what people thought of as a 'good looking guy', and it had worked to his advantage more than once in the past, but he never put any effort into the way he looked. In general he felt people should take him as they found him and Kieren admired that about him.

In fact, Kieren had grown quite fond of the thick oversized jumpers he wore, but the dark shirt and leather jacket he had on now, insured that Kieren could not take his eyes off him and Amy smiled in recognition of the love-sick look on his face. He did look quite different dressed in these new clothes. If only the girl's at the commune could see him now?

Neither Amy nor Philip had eaten, so at Simon and Kieren's insistence, they took an hour or so getting food in the restaurant before going off to find this club of Amy's.

They paid the bill and put on their coats to leave. Amy was already a bit tipsy, determined that tonight was going to be a night to remember, and Kieren had the feeling that all bets were going to be off and he would have to keep a close eye on her in case she got a bit too carried away with things.

As they were leaving the pub, Amy grabbed Kieren's arm, holding him back to put a little distance between them and Simon and Philip ahead.

"What yer doing?" Kieren whispered. See, this is exactly what he was talking about!

"Me and Morgeous here will be along in a minute," Amy calls out to Simon and Philip, who turn momentarily to look back at her. "Girl talk. Go on, then!"

"Ye, what?" Amy was certainly going to be a handful tonight.

Simon and Philip continue on as instructed, keeping pace with one another. Kieren wonders what they will find in common to talk about and wishes he was with them instead of being 'one of the girls'.

"Shhh!" Amy whispers, putting her finger up to her lips. Only the sound is rather too loud and Kieren leans as far away as he can from her, only Amy has interlinked her arm with his and has him trapped securely. "So I've got to ask. Well I know I shouldn't, but I just have to! Me and the girls at the commune always wondered."

She is giggling and Kieren has the sense that the imminent question is going to be bad. Well, bad for him, anyway.

"Wondered? Wondered what?"

"About Simon."

Simon? What about Simon?

"I'm fairly certain he's gay Amy, on account of…," he gestures toward himself with both hands pointing at his chest, "Being in a relationship with me."

Amy rolls her eyes. "Yes I rather gathered that, yer loon. Not that we realised that at the time. Can think of a few hearts that would'a broken had we known back then." She decides not to mention that it might have also included her own.

"So what, then?"

"The walk! The John Wayne one," Amy nods towards Simon walking ahead of them.

Kieren looks towards Simon who is now in deep conversation with Philip, though what the topic could be about, he simply can not fathom.

"They say John Wayne only had his famous gait for one of two reasons. The first being all that riding he did in those old western movies he were in," Amy giggles again to Kieren's frown. He was more than a little confused by her meaning.

Reluctant to spell it out for him - as clearly Kieren was not catching on here - she drops her eyes toward his crotch, just for a second, and then raises her eyebrows at him questioningly.

Kieren's mouth drops open.

"So? Come on then. Is it true? Were me and the girls right? Spill the beans, Kieren Walker! You're meant to be my BDFF."

"Yer mean?" Oh. "Oh!"

He is incredibly glad he cannot blush anymore, as he is sure he would be beetroot colour otherwise at this point.

"Yeeeessss?" Amy encourages.

Hmmm. This is embarrassing. Not only for ending up somehow on the girl's side of the confidence – and he is not quite sure how that happened - but how to answer her question, exactly?

Simon was not what you might call a 'starter boyfriend', and that first night together at the bungalow - after the row he had had with Steve, because of what he had said to Gary over lunch - had plunged Kieren straight in at the deep end (so to speak). Luckily, Simon had known what he was doing and was conscious of it being Kieren's first time. He was gentle with him, taking things slowly and had kept checking that he was sure he wanted to continue at each step.

He had seen Rick naked of course, and plenty of other lads in the showers after school football come to that, but in those circumstances you always pretended that you were not looking - and anyway, they were hardly in a state of arousal at the time - so comparison was difficult.

Was this really what girls talked about with each other?

He considered not answering, discussing his boyfriend's anatomy was not something he felt comfortable with - to Amy or anyone else for that matter – but he realised this was probably something Amy had never been able to do in the past. Having chats with her mates about boys, swapping notes and experiences. When she was alive the first time around, she was denied all of that on account of being ill for so long, and so Kieren felt he could not refuse her now. Especially, when she was the best friend he had ever had, and vice versa.

So he answers her question. Sort of.

"I have no idea if Simon can even ride a horse."

"I knew it! Ohhh, yer lucky boy, you," she gasps. "Although, not so easy on the ol' jaw, I bet? Do not envy yer that, my friend."

Oh God. Really? Is she really referring to that?

But no, Amy is still going on.

"It all works then? Down there, I mean?"

Will she not shut up about it, already? Never mind jaw ache, if it were not already on the pavement, it certainly would be now.

Kieren really, really, does not want to be having this conversation and just nods uncomfortably in the hope she will get the message and drop it. Some hope!

"Coz I did wonder," she continues, oblivious to Kieren's distress. "Not having a pulse and blood flow and all that. Then again, that never stopped all those horny vampires on TV, did it?"

"Hm." It was getting way too 'More magazine' for Kieren's liking.

Yes, he had occasionally sneaked a peak at some of Jem's copies of the girl's mag when he was younger. Holding the magazine at arms length away from him and rotating it to different angles to try and figure out exactly how the 'Position of the Fortnight' was achieved.

"Not that I have anything to complain about with Philip."

Right okay, Kieren did not need to hear the rest of wherever Amy was about to go with this. She will be arranging an Ann Summer's party next at the bungalow and insisting he attends it at this rate.

He notices Simon and Philip are some way ahead of them now. Thank God, an excuse. Finally!

"We should probably catch up with them, ay?" he says and picks up the pace to join them, pulling her along quickly, before she can ask anything further.


Amy claps her hands together and shouts, "There it is!" when they finally arrive at the club. Her directions have been spot on, despite her not entirely sober state.

Not that the club, as it turns out, is hard to miss.

There is a long queue curling around the converted warehouse, cordoned off by barriers. The heavy beat of the music playing inside is pumping through the very fabric of the building and as they make their way down parallel along the line of people, Kieren notices all the white undead eyes of the clubbers as he passes them by.

It is dark apart from the eerie green glow streaming down from the neon sign stating loud and proud, the name of the club, LAZY JONES.

"Lazy Jones?" Philip asks, looking up warily at the name. "Why's it called that?"

"Dunno," Amy shrugs, hugging her arms around herself before Philip does the honours and rubs her arms in an attempt to and warm her up in the freezing night air. "Heard it's meant to be ironic though."

Kieren is with Philip. Both are looking ever keener to give the whole thing a miss. It is only Amy's enthusiasm that stops them both from legging it.

"Lazy Jones. It was the name of a computer game for the Commodore 64, back in the eighties," Simon clarifies.

All three of them look back at him with blank faces.

"Commodore 64? No?" Simon sighs, "I forget how young ye all are, sometimes."

The queue moves forward and the four of them shuffle along.

"I still don't get it," Philip says, feeling slightly less stupid, because clearly Amy and Kieren do not understand the reference either.

"The name of the club means Zombie Nation. The game's soundtrack, Stardust, was sampled for the song 'Kernkraft 400', by the band…?"

"Zombie Nation?" Kieren finishes.

"See! Told yer it was meant to be ironic," Amy says, nudging Philip in the ribs, before giving him a satisfied peck on the cheek. He smiles automatically and returns the favour.

The queue moves again and when they stop, Kieren turns back to Amy.

"Hang on. Thought yer didn't like the term 'zombie'?"

"I don't!" she objects, and then smiles slyly bumping his shoulder. "Don't mind the name Lazy Jones though."

Amy is already bopping up and down to the beat, thumping into the street outside the club, by the time they reach the front of the line. There are two large bouncers checking the ID of anyone who looks under eighteen. They're both PDS and their pinprick eyes and white shaven heads make them look even more menacing. They both look past Simon and assess Kieren, Amy and Philip for a moment, before nodding and letting them through.

The throbbing music is even louder in the entrance as they hand their coats in to the PDS girl behind the desk and are given plastic branded LAZY JONES keyrings with individual numbers on for retrieval later, before they approach the kiosk to pay their entrance fee.

"Fifteen quid each. Living must be accompanied by an Undead," the bloke at the till says. "If you ain't got enough Undead with you, suggest you go cop off with someone right quick, as if you're not with an Undead, you're not getting in. See?"

He points to a sign on the wall that states clearly in bold letters, NO UNDEAD, NO ADMITTANCE!

"Not a problem. Two Undead and," Simon pauses for a moment. For all intents and purposes Amy looks like she belongs to the Living population. No point in drawing attention to her Re-Living state and be the subject of curiosity, so he keeps things simple, "And two Living."

"It's sixty in that case, mate," he tells him, laying an open palm out lazily for the money. He has got a single contact lens in, but not the regular PDS Irisalways type. It is neon green and has a black swirl curling towards his pinprick pupil.

Simon and Philip hand over £30 each and they are waved through to a pair of double doors. They push them open and the music assaults them as a wall of solid sound.

The club is packed.

PDS, Living and who knows what else, ram the huge open space from wall to wall. Drinking, dancing - some are just people watching or simply surveying the hordes on the pull.

Kieren wonders how they can actually see anyone at all. It is really dark inside except for the green, purple and blue lazers circling over the crowd. White strobe lights flash on and off, highlighting the outlines of the clientele, as they dance to the pumping electronica vibrating through their bodies. He realises there must be black light too - put to good use by the dancers on the podiums either side of the raised dance area - as every pair of eyes that look him over, glow white as they push past him.

They squeeze their way through to the long bar running the length of the opposite side of the ground floor room, and when a space is made free Simon moves in, money in hand, to get the first round of drinks in.

"What can I get yer?" a barmaid says, spotting Simon almost immediately. She places LAZY JONES paper napkins on the bar in front of him as Simon shouts out his order. They have HiGlow on tap and he asks for two (for Kieren and, begrudgingly, himself), a JD and coke for Philip (he would have gone for Jameson's himself, hold the coke. Sacrilege!) and a Midori and Lemonade for Amy (as it is bright green and can pass for HiGlow, so she still feels like she fits in with them even though she is now Re-Alive and no longer PDS.)

The women behind the bar fixes their drinks and places the plastic glasses on the napkins carefully, shouting out the price over the bar. It is too loud to hear over the noise, so Simon just hands her a twenty. When she comes back with the change, Kieren notices the appraising once over she gives Simon and feels a pang of jealousy. Tonight is going to be full of new experiences and he is not sure he is going to enjoy all of them.

The balcony has the best view of the floor, so they stand against the railings to get a feel for the place. Talking is out of the question and not being used to the dry ice, it makes Kieren and Philip's throats sore. Amy meanwhile is dancing on the spot, her arm raised in the air as she sways to the music with her eyes closed.

Simon looks down at the scene in front of him and Kieren wonders absently if he is searching for faces he once knew. Apparently, he has never been to this particular club before, it was only converted into a club after The Rising, but it is clear he feels at home here. Surrounded by his own kind in a place he can be himself without having to be on guard to watch his or his company's back at all times.

The current song morphs into another and the buzzing thrum that replaces it is like a heartbeat.

Kieren watches from the balcony as the whole floor seems to slow in unison. Those on the dance floor begin to sway in time to the beat as if in a meditative state.

A voice sounds over the speakers.

For reasons yet to be determined, the bodies of the recently deceased are returning to life and attacking the living. The scope of this epidemic is now reaching global proportions...

Then an electric voice chants, Zombie, Zombie, Zombie, Zombie Nation, and the DJ in the booth above the dance floor - his hand cupped against his can headphones – shouts to the crowd, "Are you ready to kick some ass?"

The music starts to repeat its heavy repetitive tune and the dancers come to life. Together they sing along in unison, at a deafening volume, like a war cry.

"Woah oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh…"

It is thrilling. It is terrifying.

It feels like they all have one voice, hundreds of people, but all are as one. They are an army; any army of the undead joining together and singing their anthem.

Kieren is in a different world and he drags his eyes away from the crowd to glance at Simon and Amy, who are both joining in. It is the song Simon talked about earlier in the queue; the song the club was named after.

He watches Simon closely, watching the light of the lazers dance over his features, the black light picking out the white of his eyes.

He is stunning.

Kieren turns Simon's face away from the floor below, forcing him to look back at Kieren. And then he kisses him.

So much for no public displays of affection as this was starting to become a habit.

Someone taps Kieren on the shoulder and he reluctantly pulls away from Simon.

"We're going to go check out the other rooms," Amy shouts directly in Kieren's ear, so he can make out what she is saying. It tickles and Kieren shies away from her.

She gestures towards the stairs. "Yer coming?"

He nods and grasps Simon's hand, intertwining their fingers together and pulling him after Amy and Philip who are already, by this point, several people in front of them.

The stairs are quieter and although they still have to raise their voices to be heard, they can at least talk now.

"So, what d'ya think? It's blooming amazing, don't yer think?" Amy says to Kieren, slipping her hand through his arm as they climb the stairs, weaving through those just hanging out on it and taking a breather.

"Yeah, it's okay," Kieren shouts back, trying to look as enthusiastic as he can.

"Okay? It's flipping undeadtastic!" she laughs.

They corner the top of the stairs and Kieren catches a small blue bottle being handed over by a dealer to an undead punter out of the corner of his eye.

The music from downstairs is drowned out by the hard core heavy metal even before they push through the doors to the first floor room and when they get inside, it has a totally different vibe; all red light and those who occupy it are entirely in contrast to those in the electronica and techno room below.

One - Nothing wrong with me,

Two - Nothing wrong with me,

Three - Nothing wrong with me,

Four - Nothing wrong with me…

The music is far more to Kieren's tastes, always being more interested in alternative anyway. He finds himself nodding his head unconsciously to the pulsing rhythm and mouths along to the lyrics.

Now - Let the bodies hit the floor,

Let the bodies hit the floor,

Let the bodies hit the flooooor….

Simon smiles.

"More your kinda thing?" he asks, leaning close to Kieren. In actual fact it was more Simon's kind of thing too. He used to be into bands like Nirvana and The Cult growing up, and even had signed posters of them on his wall as a teenager that he had picked up at gigs he went to.

"Definitely," Kieren agrees, looking around him.

Booths section off the edges of the room and the circular bar in the centre has a huge chandelier hanging above it, twinkling red sparkles as the light reflects off of the crystal.

A woman passes them wearing a black leather buckled corset, fishnet tights and thigh high boots. She has a different contact lens in each of her eyes; one black and one red, to match the shades of her hair. Kieren follows her with his eyes as she joins a group in a corner booth, but looks away when she straddles a bloke with blue tipped spikey hair and eyeliner, and passes what looks distinctly like sheep's brains to him her mouth.

"Definitely!" Kieren repeats, downing the rest of his drink.

Philip looks even less at home on this floor than he did in the previous one and gestures the universal sign of 'Want another drink?' to the other three. They all nod and he wanders off, giving people as wide a birth as he can, to get to the bar while Amy spots a booth that is being vacated and nabs it before anyone else has chance to move in. Her skirts flow over the curve of the red leather sofa, but moves over to make room as Kieren and Simon join her.

"Your Jem would love this, I bet," she says to Kieren, watching out for Philip to reappear from the crowd.

"What?" Kieren shouts back. Honestly, he cannot hear a thing.

"YOUR – JEM – WOULD – LOVE – THIS!" she shouts again to him, over accentuating the words with her lips and flailing her arms around her head, referring to the room.

Kieren gets her meaning.

"Oh, yeah. She would," he agrees, nodding his head like one of those Churchill dogs in the back of cars, so she understands him.

"Will have to bring her sometime?"

Kieren shakes of his head; he did not catch any of that.

Amy shrugs her shoulders in defeat, before standing and waving to Philip an, 'over here', after spotting him emerging from the bar with four drinks carried precariously in his hands.

They watch the huge TV screens showing the accompanying music videos to the songs playing for a bit and drink their drinks, none of them attempting to make further conversation. Kieren is getting close to head banging now and is singing at the top of his lungs to the music.

I feel it deep within,

It's just beneath the skin,

I must confess that I feel like a monster,

I hate what I've become,

The nightmare's just begun,

I must confess that I feel like a monster…

Kieren apparently knows every word and he is practically buzzing. Simon cannot take his eyes off him.

I, I feel like a monster,

I, I feel like a monster...

He is totally oblivious to his surroundings, immersing himself in the song, until a lad about his age - well probably older as he looks the age Kieren is now, so in actual fact is likely to be in his late twenties, being The Rising was five years ago now - walks past their booth. He looks like a model, all high cheekbones and pouting lips. He is as thin as you like too and wears skinny jeans with a shirt that fits where it touches, which only draws attention to his wiry toned body. His hair is razor cut at the sides, but longer at the top, and it falls into his eyes. He epitomises what is known as heroin chic – and after a brief glance at Kieren, he clocks Simon and stares directly at him as he passes, not even trying to hide it.

"I've had enough of this room," Amy shouts over to Philip. "Let's go see what the second floor is like."

Although Kieren is enjoying the music, he is keen to move away from Skinny Jeans, before he gets any ideas and tries to speak to Simon.

They push their way through to the doors and climb the second set of stairs.

"Think yer might have pulled there?" Kieren says to Simon now they can at least hear themselves think.

"What?" Simon asks as he lets Kieren squeeze past the two women snogging each other's faces off on the stairs.

"That lad in there? Didn't yer notice?"

"I don't see any lads," Simon winks at him. "Except the one I'm looking at right now."

Kieren smiles back, but he is still a little ruffled by the experience. The one good thing about Roarton; no one was going to be making a pass at Simon anytime soon. In the city though, as he had always known, things were quite different. He had imagined that that was a good thing, but now, he was not so sure.

The next floor is playing dance music, and a remix of Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way' is pumping out over the crowd, but Kieren's attention is on an extremely impressive floor to ceiling cinema screen that has been erected behind the dance floor.

It is showing scenes from various films, new and old, and as he watches, it takes him a moment to notice all the actors are mostly undead and he realises the films are actually pastiches. One clip ends and another comes on the screen with a title card that reads, Fifty Shades of Dead. The scene opens to a bound and blindfolded young female and an undead male, his post-mortem scars plainly on show, while he strokes a black leather riding crop down her pink fleshy skin, before pulling it back and spanking her hard with it.

"Seen something you like," Simon breathes into Kieren's ear from behind him.

Kieren is sure he is blushing now, despite his capillaries not being able to fill with blood.

He shakes his head quickly. "Nah, never really got stuff like that?"

Simon's body is still pressed up hard against his back in the limited space they are standing.

"Shouldn't knock it, 'til ye tried it."

Kieren wonders – and not for the first time – exactly what Simon got up to in his past life.

Lady Gaga is still preaching her musical sermon over the speakers,

Whether life's disabilities,

Left you outcast, bullied, or teased,

Rejoice and love yourself today,

'cause baby you were born this way...

If Kieren were listening to the lyrics, he might find them quite apt suddenly, but his mind is fixed firmly on Simon's possible implied revelation.

He turns his body, to get a better look a Simon's face. The expression he is wearing is amused and Kieren realises Simon is teasing him.

"So, that's what you used to get up to then, was it?" Kieren asks, deciding to play along. "What do they call it?"

"BDSM."

"Yeah, that's right, sado masochism. Plenty of sado masochists we know back in Roarton!"

Never mind Pearl Pinder suggesting PDS get up to all sorts behind closed doors, maybe some of the HVF veterans were setting up dungeons in their basements now they did not have an avenue to work off their blood lust?

Simon is thinking about getting another round, but the HiGlow is obviously starting to have an effect on Kieren and he is still talking.

"Why would anyone enjoy someone hurting them? Roleplaying violent fantasies like being kidnapped and raped and stuff? It's a bit sick."

"It's about power exchange, Kieren. Trusting someone enough to submit to them and allow their dominance over you."

Simon spots a space at the bar, but Kieren puts a hand on his arm to stop him.

"But still, rape? Surely there's a line?"

Simon steps in closer to Kieren again to be heard over the music. His lips brush the skin of Kieren's neck as he speaks.

"It's not rape though, is it? It's consensual. All that particular fantasy is, is one person handing over complete power to the other. The victim isn't the victim at all; they're offering themselves to their partner and saying. 'take all the pleasure ye want from me.'"

Kieren was not sure if it was the HiGlow, what Simon was saying, or just the proximity of him, but suddenly the end of the night and hotel room they had waiting for them, could not come quick enough.

"Because when ye do that, Kieren, in actual fact, it's you that has all the power. All that attention, all that focus, all that pleasure. In that moment, nothing else exists for the other person, but you."

Kieren begins to wonder how this explanation went from the general to the personal all of a sudden. Was Simon imagining him as the submissive, while he the dominant? Kieren tries to pretend to himself that the idea does not excite him. Just a little.

Simon pulls back now and their faces are at such close proximity, his next words almost vibrate against Keiren's lips.

"Don't ye see" It's the submissive that's the powerful one. The dominant's power is a mirage. They are but a slave to their desire for the other."

"Well," Keiren clears his throat. His eyes are wide and Simon is sure, as impossible as he knows it is, Kieren's pupils are dilated. "When yer put it like that, I suppose there might be some merit in it."

"You guys?!"

Amy says, crashing into them both and hanging both arms around their shoulders. "Will the both of yer stop looking so mizzy! We're meant to be enjoying ourselves here!"

Kieren considers explaining that the look on his face is not him being miserable, but… actually, no. Even slightly intoxicated, he thinks better of it.

Amy has already moved on though and wastes no time in grabbing Kieren and then reaching for Philip by the wrist, to drag them both to the dance floor with her. Kieren glances over his shoulder at Simon as he is pulled away into the throng and Simon points towards the bar, before they disappear out of sight completely.

He finds an opening at the end of the bar, which curves around in an L-shape. The floor to ceiling speakers are at the end of the room and the height of the bar shields him a little from the music, enough to hear the barman at least when he orders the drinks.

The music playing now has changed into 'Insomnia' by Faithless and Simon is reminded of going clubbing in the 90's when this first came out. Back in the day when he would arrive at a club at 12am and dance through to 9am in the morning, fuelled by Ecstasy or Speed, or whatever else he was offered on the night. It seemed a lifetime ago now. Then again, it was, literally.

"An't seen you 'er before," someone says next to him.

Simon turns his head to look at the lad standing beside him at the bar. He has a strong Manchester accent and has the look of a model - all high cheekbones and skinny jeans – or he would, if he were not such a Scally Simon can see that he is under all that designer gear.

"Cos, I would'a remembered you, right, if yer had. Always remember fit blokes, me," Skinny Jeans continues, all pouting lips and pale skin. "I clocked yer when you was downstairs with your mates."

"Is that right?" Simon says in a monotone, somewhat unimpressed and trying to catch the barman's attention with a twenty-pound note.

"I'll get 'em. What yer having?" he says eagerly, squeezing his hand into his jeans pocket for his money.

"S'okay. I'm getting a round in for me mates," Simon replies, copying his acute observation.

"How about I just get you a drink then? I'm having a shot of Water of Lethe." He nods to the blue bottle at the end of the optics. "Yer tried it?"

Simon shakes his head. He has never heard of it before. He knows the name though. It comes from Greek mythology. Lethe was a river that ran through the Underworld. The word literally translates as meaning 'oblivion' or 'forgetfulness'. It is clearly a PDS only drink and going by its name, Simon considers that trying it would probably be a mistake.

"Oh, it's well mint. Only can get it 'ere though, as it's exclusive to LAZY JONES, in't it."

If this is a seduction technique, he has picked the wrong man.

The barman comes over and nods for Simon to give him his order. He asks for the same as before.

"And two Lethes an' all too with that, right," Skinny Jeans adds. Cheeky bastard.

Simon adds another tenner to the twenty nonetheless and hands it over. Skinny Jeans gets full points for sheer barefaced audacity at the very least.

"What's ye name?"

"Jay," Skinny Jeans replies. "So yer shagging one of those mates of yours yeah, or what?"

The barman, places the row of drinks in a line in front of them and Jay reaches for his immediately and takes a big gulp. Simon watches, somewhat fascinated. It has been a long time since he has been chatted up by anyone on a night out and he cannot help but feel a little flattered.

"Something like that," he answers. Kieren and he are doing a little more than just "shagging" as far as he is concerned.

Jay nods toward the blue liquid in the plastic glass. "An't yer gonna try it, then?"

Simon knows he should do no such thing, but there is something about talking with Jay that makes him feel – well, normal. No not normal, Simon never had felt normal, but, well alive again. Like the last five years never happened. They were both PDS, but that was the norm here after all.

He picks up the glass and holds it up for a moment, just watching the light make patterns against the liquid, before putting it to his lips and swallowing it in a single mouthful. Jay grins back as Simon puts the glass down, and nods at the barman, pointing at the Lethe optic again and holding two fingers up for a couple more.

"So, which one of yer mates is it, yer doing then? Cos, I know it an't the girl," he says with a cheeky grin that lights up his face. "My money's on the well fit red 'ead."

"Very perceptive."

The barman puts two more shots of Lethe in front of them and Jay gives him the money. He picks up his, clinks Simon's glass with it and downs the blue liquid. Simon does the same.

"Really? Nice one," Jay says, pulling a face as he swallows the Lethe and puts the empty glass back on the bar. "I'd have him, me, only I prefer the more mature bloke," he points out, looking up at Simon through his long eyelashes.

This is getting a bit out of hand, and the Water of Lethe is strong.

Simon goes to pick up his ordered drinks to find the others, but before he does Jay grabs him, pulling his face down and kisses him hard.

Simon stumbles back, pressing both hands firmly on Jay's chest to push him off. What the fuck?!

Jay looks anything but undeterred by Simon's reaction though, and if anything, looks more than a little chuffed with himself.

He licks his lips.

"Delicious."

Amy is standing not six foot away and sees all of it.

She hangs back for a moment to see what Simon will do next, but he looks part way stunned and the other part livid. She has seen enough.

"Yer alright?" Amy asks, pushing herself in-between them and glaring at the Scally. "I'm gasping and Kieren was wondering where yer got to. Thought I'd come see what was keeping yer."

Simon looks at the floor trying to avoid her gaze. He has done nothing wrong, but still.

"Who's this? Yer made a new friend I see?" If looks could kill, then Jay would be dead and buried for a second time.

"This is, er," Simon is flustered and takes a moment to recall his name. God, that Lethe is strong, even for him.

"I'm Jay," Jay says.

Amy remains deadpan. "Charmed."

"Yeah, Jay," Simon repeats, trying to catch up.

Amy takes her and Philip's drinks from the bar, and hooks her arms around Simon's while he follows suit and picks up his and Kieren's.

"Well, it's been a pleasure Jay, but Simon doesn't want to keep his boyfriend waiting." And then for added effect, just so Jay gets the message, "His name's Kieren by the way, and he's bloody gorgeous!"

"Yeah, I saw he weren't no munter, upstairs," Jay agrees.

Amy pulls Simon by the arm, dragging him away before she has second thoughts and decides to deck this bloke.

Simon is still looking a little dazed and quite out of character. "Mr Disciple, come on will yer?"

Jay picks up on the name. His eye's grow wide with a spark of recognition.

"Disciple? Like, an Undead Prophet disciple? Yer part of the ULA?" Jay questions, barely concealing his excitement.

Amy and Simon are already pushing their way through the queue to get to the bar though, and do not hear his question.

Kieren and Philip are still on the dance floor when Amy and Simon come back to join them. They hand over the drinks and move to the side.

"You took yer time?" Kieren says to Simon as he takes the drink from him. "I probably shouldn't have this, yer know? I'm feeling quite pissed. Anyway, thought you'd had a better offer?"

Simon looks at him. Does he know? But Kieren is all warm smiles and soft eyes.

"Told ye, I only see you." Simon repeats his confession to him earlier. And he means it. Absolutely.

"That's alright then," Kieren smiles back before Simon's lips are on his; one long, hard, reaffirming kiss. He does not want anyone else. Not now, not ever.

Amy's enthusiasm for the evening appears to be waning fast.

"Yer wanna try the third floor? Think it's all reggae or something?" Philip asks her, trying to raise his voice over the music enough to be heard.

"Nah, think I've had enough to be honest. After these, think we should go," she answers, sloshing her drink and looking directly at Simon and Kieren as they continue to snog like teenagers. "Probably best we get love birds here, back to the hotel sooner rather than later, going by the look of them."

Philip looks surprised, but does not argue. He is happy to leave whenever she is ready. It has been… interesting, but he would rather be back in their hotel room and have Amy all to himself. Wonder if they have cable on the telly? He is more of a wild – okay then, quiet - night in man himself at heart, anyway.

And going by the expression on Simon's face when he came back with Amy a minute ago, Philip begins to wonder if Simon is too.


AUTHOR'S NOTES:

When I began this story, I decided that I would leave Kieren and Simon to their privacy and leave their bedroom door closed. For Amy and Philip, you only see them 'after the match' as it were, and so it felt authentic to canon that it was the right approach for Kieren and Simon too. (Plus, although I've kept away from other In The Flesh fanfictions while writing this for fear of being influenced, I have no doubt that there are plenty out there that explore Kieren and Simon's more intimate moments.) But the fact my beta has now renamed Amy, Simon and Kieren's home, 'The Bonkfest Bungalow', I'm going to ignore!

I recall an interview with Ewan McGregor on the Graham Norton Show a year or so ago - an actor who has done his fair share of explicit sex scenes on film – where he said he was only comfortable with doing those type of scenes if they were relevant to the story and not just gratuitous. Well, to my surprise I found that including such a scene, albeit not overly explicit in nature, was relevant to both the telling of this story and the character's development in it.

Throughout this story I have only gone so far in language, violence or sex that I believe could be shot for a BBC drama to be shown after 10pm. Some fanfictions are wish fulfilments and filling in the gaps where the screen can't go, but I have tried to stay as true to the series as I can with this story and I don't think anything I have written, providing it was shot correctly, would be inappropriate for a series broadcast after the 9pm watershed. Simon and Kieren are a couple and just like Amy and Philip they would have sex, so as I have not gone into detail – I'll leave that to your imagines to fill in the gaps - I think I'd get away with it.

There is of course the obvious physical problem of how does a man have sex when he doesn't have blood pumping through his veins? (Although this certainly hasn't stopped vampires in recent years in series such as True Blood and Vampire Diaries – Edward Cullen can even procreate by Breaking Dawn!) This is especially an issue as In The Flesh states that PDS cannot feel anything physically, so it's not only a stumbling block for partially deceased males, but why on earth would Amy sleep with Phil if she couldn't feel anything at all? I can understand her 'going through the motions' when she was emotionally involved with Philip in series 2 for his pleasure, but he was just a one stand for her in series 1 which seems to me a bit pointless from her point of view if this is the case. Guess she was just trying it out? So, as canon seems to have a loophole when it comes to sex with their zombie mythology, I'm not going to argue and instead make the most of it. If the undead are capable of having sexual relationships with one another, then at this point, Simon and Kieren will have exactly that type of relationship too.

Oh and while we're on the subject, although I believe in safe sex to protect against pregnancy or STDs, I can't see these are really issues for the partially deceased - although I did notice the brothel's bedside table draws are stocked with condoms and Femiwash of all things - go production design! - but that is perhaps because the living are clients?

Finally to explain the, er, anatomy conversation. I really wanted Amy to be able to start to have some of those experiences she missed out on during her first life, and being able to have silly girly chats was one of them. As she doesn't really have any female friends at present, Kieren would have to do. I thought about the topic of conversation I had experienced during various hen do's, and one stood out for me as being the most embarrassing, so thought Kieren could share in some of that awkwardness. And as for Simon, well he shares Emmett Scanlan's voice, face and body, right? Search YouTube for "Emmett J Scanlan in Savage", and that's all I'm saying!

So enough about sex - considering I wasn't even going to include it, I've talked a great deal about it now - and after the above, I suspect I've lost most of you to YouTube anyway, but Simon's feelings towards women were inspired by some very positive experiences I had while in Dublin last month. I have never visited a place where men were so polite and considerate towards women. Perhaps I was just lucky, but I will forevermore think of an Irishman as a true gentleman.

Finally, for those of you who have come to In The Flesh as Hollyoaks fans, there's a nod to Stendan's first kiss with the song Insomnia, and I had a particular actor in mind for Jay too who will be familiar to those who watch the soap.

As always, thank you to all who are on this journey with me and keep me supported and motivated; and to those of you who favourited out there, I really appreciate you all.

Anyway, lots of love, moust-dash! - as Brendan Brady would say.