Jack was trapped. He didn't want to tell Kim about the part of his life he just relived. She didn't need to know that much about him, he thought.
"Jack, look at me," Kim told him softly. She had to see his face, but he wouldn't roll over, didn't try to move. "Don't leave me out!" Kim begged. It killed her to see him like this.
Jack got up and paced around his dark room, making sure she couldn't see his face. His breathing hitched and caught as his pacing speed increased, his hands spearing through his hair.
"Jack, calm down. It's okay, you're not alone. I'm here, right here," Kim said as she sprung up and caught his bare forearms in her small hands. "It's okay," Kim told him, making him look at her. She wanted to break just seeing him, but she knew she couldn't.
"I'm sorry, Kim," Jack said as he put his head down and stared at his feet. "I never should have agreed to go out with you."
"What?" Kim was totally lost. Again, this could go two ways and she didn't like either of them. "Why would you say that?"
"Because you're putting your money on this, Kim," Jack motioned to himself. "It's like my dad said. Nobody needs me, nobody wants me. I'm nothing and I'm never going to be more than nothing. I'm dish washer going for a degree I probably won't get or never use."
Kim slapped him. Right across the face. Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Kim hit him again. A third time.
"Fuck, stop! Stop!" Jack put his hands up in self defense.
"You listen to me. You're going to finish school. You're going to get your degree, and you're going to do something awesome. We're going to take care of these kids and they're going to see just how awesome you are, then maybe you will. You have anxiety and depression, I get that. I can't take that away, but here's what's gonna happen. Every morning I'm going to tell you you're great. Then you're going to tell me you're great. We're going to repeat at bedtime. Maybe eventually you'll believe it, maybe not. But you will hear it every day." Kim's face was red and her little nose was flaring.
Jack just stood there, not sure how to react to the mandate Kim stapled to his forehead. She just signed up to not try to change him. She understands he can't just be immediately happy because they were together now. What was really amazing to him was that she more or less pledged to stay with him even though it could be rocky.
Jack was right. There's nothing cute or sexy about depression and anxiety. It's horrifying, heart wrenching and sometimes seemingly helpless. Kim Crawford would be damned to hell if she would leave Jack for dead because of what was beyond his control. He wouldn't be just some statistic to her.
"Don't say anything. Let's just go back to bed," Kim suggested, more like told him as she took both his hands and tugged him to the warm sheets.
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Jack's alarm went off, waking the both of them. He reached over Kim as she stretched and turned off his alarm. Besides turning off his phone alarm, he made no move to start his day, choosing to snuggle into Kim's warm back instead.
"Jack, should we..."
"No, no we shouldn't," Jack cut her off. He did not want to move. He had just had an exam yesterday and had another one today with a big paper to turn in. He absolutely wanted to stay here with his blonde bundle wrapped in his arms.
"Jack..." Kim said with the voice of responsibility and authority.
"Urgh!" Jack groaned as he released Kim. She rolled over and pecked his cheek quickly before getting up.
"I'll take the ladder down and go back to my place long enough to change, then I'll be back," Kim told him.
"I'll be here," Jack nodded. As Kim left, he couldn't be happier that Kim hadn't brought last night up again.
"Oh, and Jack?" Kim poked her head up into his sight from below the window.
"Yeah?" Jack asked with a chuckle.
"You're amazing," Kim said with a smile then disappeared.
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Kim climbed up the garden terrace and snuck into her own bedroom, hoping to be scott-free of her roommates, namely Grace. No such luck.
Kim hopped into her room to see Grace sitting on her bed. The unexpected presence of the brunette caused Kim to startle and almost fall backwards out of her open window.
"Hey there, Kimmy bear!" Grace said happily. "What are you doing, sneaking into your own room at this early hour?" she asked even though she knew damn well.
Kim decided to sidestep that question. "Wanna get out so I can change?" Kim asked pointedly.
"Going back to Jack's to play mommy?" Grace asked with fluttering eyes.
Kim stopped and tried to control that Southern temper. "Why are you being such a bitch?" she couldn't help but ask.
"Am I being a bitch, or am I a friend questioning what you think you're doing? You're a nineteen year old girl pretending to be a house wife while going through college!" Grace tried to make Kim see her perspective.
Kim scoffed in her face. "You don't have a clue what that family is going through. I'm not doing it for me. I'm doing it because I love those kids they don't deserve to lose their mother for two whole years. I'm doing it for Jack, too, because I care about him. And yes Grace, I'm seeing him! Pardon my French, but if you have ANY problem with that, feel free to eat a dick! NOW LEMME CHANGE!" Kim shouted indignantly.
Grace, stunned, got up and saw herself out.
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Kim had finished her morning freshening routine and was at the door before Julie caught her.
"Everything okay, Kim?" The intuitive redhead asked.
"Yeah, just... interesting morning," Kim decided to be ambiguous.
"I'd say," Grace did say, coming around the corner like Julie was used as bait to catch a wild Crawford. "Wanna fill in Julie in the talk we had this morning?"
Julie was immediately interested, but Kim wanted to forget they had it. "Not really, no."
"Kim's moving out."
"When the hell did I say that?!" Kim glared at Grace.
"You totally should! You're literally here just long enough to bathe and sleep. You do your homework there, you eat there. Hell Kim, you slept there last night. It just makes sense. I mean, we'll always leave a drawer for you here," Grace finished warmly.
"Shouldn't she, you know, start going with Jack before she moves in?" Julie questioned, always the trio's voice of logic.
"Valentine's Day," Kim said reluctantly, knowing that gave Grace more food for the pyre she was going to burn Kim on.
"Oh, I'm happy for you two!" Julie said with a genuine smile. "Kim, for all intents and purposes, you have moved in. You just don't keep your stuff there. This isn't actually that big of a leap. Just move in gradually and make it a seamless transition and it'll be an easier process for both of you."
"Julie, you're supposed to be on my side!" Kim growled from behind her hands.
"What exactly is your side, Kim?" Julie asked, honestly curious.
"I don't even know. I think I want to, but nineteen year old brain says things are going so fast," Kim admitted.
"Well Kim, like we said, we'll hold your room, and if you move out our rent drops. But you know who might have an opinion in this? Jack."
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"Have a good day, and stay out of trouble!" Jack called from the passenger seat window.
"We won't!" Marie called back with a smile and wave.
"Damn it, Marie!" Jack knew she was telling the truth.
Kim drove on and dropped off Michael at the middle school and Ann at the high school. "Hey Jack?" Kim figured now would be as good a time as any.
"Yeah?" Jack turned his head and gave her his full attention.
"Urgh..." Kim dragged a hand through her hair."How do I say this... or ask really..." Kim was totally at a loss.
Jack nodded his head as if he already knew what she was going to say. "It's okay, Kim, just come out and say it."
"Should I move in with you?" Kim blurted out so she couldn't over think the simple words anymore.
"Wait, what?" Jack asked. "You want to move in?" Jack chuckled and her heart shattered and cut into her chest like glass. "I thought you were going to say we should break up because of my little... freak out... last night."
It was Kim's turn to laugh. "Oh, oh god no!" Kim assured him.
"So... you want to move in? Is this out of convenience with the kids?" Jack assumed, seeing how it would make sense.
"Grace did have a point, I have to admit," Kim admitted. "She said I'm really there just long enough to clean up and sleep. She's not wrong."
"I wasn't going to tell you this because you're a sucker for little kids, which I get, but on Valentine's Day night after I was in bed, Claire and Marie said they couldn't sleep but would be able to if 'Kimmy read us the littlest story.'"
"Aww, oh my god!" Kim did that sappy girl voice thing girls do when they think something's adorable. You know the thing. "Why didn't you call me?" Kim wanted to be mad at Jack but her voice was still in 'That's So Cute Mode' as Jack called it.
"That's why I didn't want to tell you, because you'd be like this. You would have came over just for that, and I know it." He wasn't wrong.
"It's things like that, even that little, that make me think it's a good idea. It's not their fault your parents aren't there for them. They don't deserve to not have a mom figure." Kim paused and wasn't sure how to say what was in her head without sounding like an arrogant bitch.
"You first signed up as their babysitter, but they clung onto you. They let you know they need you," Jack said it for her and she could only nod.
"Who am I to deny them that given why they need it?" Kim said with a soft, shaky voice, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "If you're okay with it Jack, I want to move in."
Jack didn't reply with words, but instead leaned over and console and put his hand on the back of Kim's neck, gently guiding their lips together.
It was a simple peck of the lips at first, but then Kim leaned in for another. Then Jack wanted another. Jack's tongue made an appearance and ran over Kim's bottom lip, slowly and enticingly, politely asking to be let in.
Kim wouldn't refuse the soft, warm muscle. She opened her mouth and sighed into the French kiss when Jack's tongue met hers. Kim moved slowly, tentatively into the action to gauge the waters. Jack seemed more than satisfied with the slow experimental pace they were on, proving it by moaning into her hot mouth.
A tap on the window scared them apart. Rudy peered through the window and spread his arms with a disbelieving face. Kim had pushed out of her mind that they were parked in the SU central parking lot.
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I know this is a really short chapter and I'm sorry, but this chapter was really important and I wanted to get it out before I'm completely consumed and you guys don't hear from me probably till Friday, so here's my apology chapter, I guess.
