Susannah Remembers

Chapter 7 Birthday

To my friend Hardstar. Thanks for sticking with me. This has been the most difficult story for me to write, because it's in first person and also I too found it very sad. But take heart. In my future stories William will be quite alive.

For two people who were so in love, there were a lot of things that Julia and William disagreed on. Probably the most polar of their ideas were about religion. William grew up Roman Catholic and was taught as a child by Jesuit priests. Julia, on the other hand rarely went to any church and if pressed would claim to be an atheist or at least an agnostic. They each went their separate ways until I arrived. William anticipated an argument from Julia, but she was quite content to let him take me to church every Sunday. Of course at home she made no secret of her beliefs or lack of. I was expected to one day choose for myself how "religious" I wanted to be. I liked going to church with my father. The rituals, the pomp, even the smells fascinated me. And on Sunday mornings I had him all to myself. But I can't say I was not influenced by Julia. So now as an adult I still go to church, but my beliefs are much less strict than William's. I have chosen to be married in the church that William and I attended. John is okay with this and so is Julia.

My parents both made a descent living and we lived well. Julia of course had family money as well. But I too have my own money. My birth parents left me everything, which was quite a lot. Julia and William never touched a penny of it, having put it all in a trust fund for me upon reaching my twenty first birthday. I used part of it to pay for medical school.

Today Julia and I visited the cemetery. William is buried in the churchyard of our little church. There is a lovely tree nearby and a bench, so it is a very peaceful place to sit and think. I find it almost too painful to come here very often but today is his birthday. He would have been 57, not so old. He never liked for us to make a fuss on his birthday, July 2, which falls one day after Dominion Day. So we would celebrate both events together, taking some of the attention away from him, which he preferred.

But William and Julia went all out for my birthday. We either had a party or when I was older, we would go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. And they always put a lot of thought into the presents they got me. And William would select a special gift that was just from him. One of my favorite presents (and I still have it) was the rocking horse he gave me on my fifth birthday, which was the first one I celebrated with Julia and William. He had it specially made by a wood sculptor. I expect he paid a pretty penny for it too. We had a small party at home with the Murdoch family's usual friends and family-George and Emily who were still in their courting phase, Margaret and Thomas and the boys, James and Aunt Ruby (also courting), Penny and her soon to be fiancé Clarence. Even as a child I was always comfortable in the company of adults, but it was nice too to have Bobby and John Backenreid there as well. We had a lovely dinner and then a huge cake with candles. Then I got to open my presents. William had left for a few minutes and when he came back he took my hand and led me to the parlor. There in front of the fireplace was Peg. Not really. But William had the artist paint the wooden horse the color of our Peg, a grey roan. She was mounted on a beautiful wooden bow rocker. The small saddle was real leather, as was the bridle. Stirrups hung low. And the tail and mane were real horse hair. I know my mouth dropped open upon seeing it.

Then I said, "Its my pony!"

William replied, "This will have to do when I can't take you to ride the real thing."

"Oh, William. I love her!" He then lifted me onto her for she was quite tall to a five year old.

Julia asked, "William, when did you have this done?"

"I've had it for a while now."

"It's absolutely beautiful."

That horse was often my best friend when I was sad or lonely. She was much more than a toy. She was and is a piece of art.

William looked so pleased the rest of the evening. I know he liked giving me the horse as much I liked getting it.

That was the beginning of the tradition of special gifts just from him. Julia never seemed to mind. She loved how close William and I were. She felt it was good for him, since he had a history of difficulty expressing his emotions. And I was close to Julia in a different way, but I always remembered that it was William who rescued me from the kidnappers. He was my hero.

My last birthday that we spent together was just months before William died. He was as mysterious as ever about the gift he had gotten me. We were going out to a wonderful new French restaurant. John was coming too, as were the usual crowd-Uncle George, Emily, Margaret and Thomas. James and Aunt Ruby were away as was Bobby, who was at school. Penny and Clarence had moved to New Foundland. William and I had fun conversing with the maitre d' and the waiter in French. And we helped the others order. After dinner it was time for presents. I opened William's last. It was in a small jewelry box. My heart quickened. It was beautiful, beyond beautiful; heartfelt. There was a long gold rope chain and attached to the chain was a gold disk. On one side was a high relief of the Rod of Asclepius, a snake entwined around a staff, the symbol of medicine. There was an amethyst at one end of the staff, for Julia's birthday in February and a diamond at the other end for mine. On the reverse were the Scales of Justice, with one scale holding a sapphire for John's birthday in September and the other holding a ruby, for William's birthday. I couldn't help myself, I began to cry. At first William thought I was disappointed, but then he realized how touched I was. I got up and came to him at the table, hugging him and kissing his cheek. "Put it on me." And he fastened it around my neck where it has been ever since. I shall never take it off.

So now I think I'll stop my written memories for a while. Perhaps I'll be more organized one day and write a biography of my extraordinary father. But in just a few hours I will marry John Brackenreid. And I hope our children will love us as much as I love Julia and my Daddy, William Henry Murdoch.