The morning after Connie's first night at the infirmary, Krista came by to drop off his breakfast just before she went to morning drills that day, promising to come by again at lunch time. "Maybe they'll let us to eat with you here at the infirmary!" she beamed hopefully.
A little while after she left, Jean, Eren, and Mikasa came by to check up on him. They already had on their cloaks and were getting ready to leave for Trost that morning but Eren wanted to go see him first. "How are you feeling?" he said, sitting on the chair beside the bed with a concerned look towards his smaller friend.
"I'm good. Honestly Eren, you really don't have to worry about me too much." Connie smiled confidently then winced, forgetting that he had a broken nose and that even smiling hurt.
"Hey, watch it Connie." Jean looked at him with a warning. "How're you supposed to get better if you keep smiling like an idiot?"
Connie chuckled at Jean's expression of concern and just smiled back at him. "Sorry Jean, but it's hard not to whenever there's a horse in the room."
The brunette scoffed and glared. "You're lucky you're injured you little pipsqueak."
The mood in the room was nice. Even Mikasa looked like she was holding back a smile. After a little while, she looked outside the window and saw that it was time for them to head out.
"Eren, it's time to go." Mikasa announced then turned to Connie. "I hope you feel better soon Connie. Don't push yourself too hard."
Connie nodded and gave her a salute. "Right, thanks Mikasa. I'll see you guys in five days I guess. Have fun in Trost." Jean and Mikasa said their goodbyes and left the room but Eren lingered. He was still looking at Connie with that same worried face.
"What is it?" he asked the green-eyed boy.
Eren looked like he was contemplating on whether he should keep talking or not. Pressed for time, eventually he whispered to Connie what was bothering him. "I talked to him this morning. Reiner, I mean. I asked him to come with us since we were seeing you before heading off."
That hit a nerve in him. He was trying his best not to think about the blonde but in the end he knew it was a wasted effort. "What did he say?" Connie asked quietly.
Eren looked down. "He didn't even say anything. He just shook his head and walked away after I asked. It wasn't like him at all and I thought…" He paused, thinking if he should press further. "I'm sorry. I know it's not my place but...did he have anything to do with what happened to you?"
Connie was a little surprised by that. Did he really think Reiner would hurt him like this? He would never...but even as the thought crossed his mind, he began to doubt himself. He doesn't really remember much of yesterday and now he's beginning to wonder if what Eren was saying had some truth in it.
Connie swallowed hard before giving his answer. "No. I'm pretty sure he wasn't there when I fell."
Eren frowned at that, not quite believing it. But he had no time to dwell on it so he stood up to go. "Alright then. Just…" he sighed, his expression softening. "You know we're friends right? You can always tell me anything Connie."
Connie nodded and smiled. "Yeah. Thanks man. Now go before they leave you." Eren gave his injured friend one last look and nodded before exiting the room. Connie was having mixed emotions right now. He was reminded again of how lucky he was to have friends like them. But at the same time, he couldn't stop thinking about Reiner. Were Eren's suspicions true? If not, then what did he do wrong this time? Was it foolish for him to believe that they were finally past the whole issue of Reiner shutting him out? Or maybe his foolishness stemmed from the fact that he actually thought they could get past it.
Sighing, Connie looked out over the window with somber eyes and saw that it had already started to snow. At that moment, he knew without a doubt, that this was going to be the gloomiest winter of his life.
Connie recovered after a few days and got back to training with the others without so much fuss. The winter came harshly, blowing in a lot of snow to the camp which made their drills all the more challenging. But it wasn't the cold of the weather that really bothered him the first few days since his discharge from the infirmary for it was nothing compared to the ice coming off of Reiner. He never once went to see him when he was recovering, and had not asked about it either. It was as if he didn't care. He was also back to actively avoiding him again. And the worst part was, it was only him. He still treated everyone the same. He was still his friendly, confident, and alluring self except he never once spoke or even so much as looked at Connie. It was killing him inside. He's made several attempts to approach the guy but there never came a chance to see him alone.
As days bled into weeks, Connie naturally just came to terms with the situation and forced himself to move on. He figured that if Reiner didn't want him in his life anymore, then so be it. He didn't want to force himself in and just accepted the way things were between them. It was better to just forget about the guy. That's what he kept telling himself at least.
Winter was coming to an end and the snow was finally melting. The sun was shining brighter than ever and the greens of the landscape around the camp were finally starting to show. Spring had arrived, and it brought with it the excitement and trepidation that the 104th training corps had been waiting for since the first day they arrived. They were finally going to start their training for the omni-directional mobility gear.
The recruits found themselves in one of the larger classrooms of the camp. Standing in attention, everyone had a complete ODM gear set sitting on the table in front of them. Connie was standing beside Sasha as the commander was briefing them on the equipment.
"Alright recruits! The day you've all been waiting for is finally here!" the commander barked. "In front of you is the main tool that will keep you and others from being titan fodder! Today we will be going over how to equip, maintain, and use the ODM gear so pay attention!"
"Sir!"
The commander stepped back to give way to their instructor, who had his own set of ODM gear in front of him. "Alright recruits, listen up. We already went over the different parts and functions of the gear set for the past week so I expect you all to remember everything we learned."
Crap. Already Connie started to panic. As usual, he wasn't paying that much attention when their classroom lessons started again.
"I'll be demonstrating how to equip them now and how to do the routine checks before setting out on the field. I cannot emphasize this enough. Checking your gear can and will determine your survival. If your gear fails because you overlooked something, then you might as well consider yourself dead." he gave the whole room a cold glare to really drive in the lesson.
The instructor then proceeded with all the technical details and steps of the equipment process for their gears. Connie was dumbfounded. He couldn't remember all the terms and parts taught in their previous lessons so every time the instructor mentioned one, he had no idea what he meant. He looked over at Sasha, who had a bored expression on her face. He knew her well enough by now that just by her watching the instructor, she'd be able to piece everything together no sweat. He faced front again, trying to will himself into concentrating and—
"—and that's it." the instructor finished, who was by now completely clad in his ODM gear. "Now I want you all to equip yours first. It shouldn't take you more than five minutes on normal situations, but since this is your first time I won't give you the limit. Now proceed to suit up, I'll be going around to check your progress."
Shit. Connie looked at his set. Where should he start? The belts? The gas? The blades? He glanced at Sasha who was already starting to put things on one by one with so much ease as if she'd been doing this her whole life.
"Sasha, what do I do?" Connie whispered urgently asking for help. Sasha looked at him with an equally confused face.
"I don't know Con! I don't remember the details. I just know how to do it." Great. He knew better than to ask her. Sasha's brain only worked for herself and even if she knew how it was done, she couldn't for the life of her teach it to someone else.
"Nice work Braun," came the instructor's voice from behind them. "You managed to equip everything in under five. Well, I'm not really surprised. Keep up the good work."
"Sir!"
Connie tried not to eavesdrop but he couldn't help it. Of course he would have no problem with this, being the self-righteous bastard that he is. He may have moved on from all that drama with Reiner but he was still feeling a bit salty. Connie was trying his best to look like he knew what he was doing when he suddenly found himself in front of the instructors glare.
"Of course you I'm not surprised with either." he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Braun, come over here."
Shit.
"Sir?" Reiner hesitated, not sure why he was being called.
"Springer needs your help."
Shit.
With full reluctance, Reiner went over to them and faced the instructor. "Make sure he puts his gear on properly and that he remembers how to do it."
Shit!
Reiner didn't even have time to react before the instructor moved on to the next table, leaving him with Connie. Of all the people! Connie side-glanced at Sasha and saw that she was biting her lip, holding back a smile and pretending not to have noticed the whole thing. Connie glared at her when Reiner finally spoke in a harsh tone devoid of all the awkwardness that the situation entailed.
"Right. Let's get this over with."
Connie nodded. He could do this. They were soldiers and he had to be professional about it. He can't keep letting his feelings affect the situation. Easier said than done.
"I'm only gonna say this once so listen ok. You need to remember this." Reiner started as he picked up the belts. "The first thing you do is put on the body harness. As the name implies, it goes all around your body—like this."
Connie couldn't tell if he was more embarrassed or angry when Reiner suddenly put his arms around him trying to get the body harness on. He started with his torso then his arms and continued without faltering as if this wasn't a big deal to him.
"That goes for the upper body. Now turn around."
He did as he was told and was now facing Sasha, finally seeing that she had gone a slight red from holding back her laughter. Connie was just about to give her a scowl when he suddenly felt Reiner's hands travel between his thighs. He froze, mind going blank.
"Hey, pay attention." he said suddenly, knowing full well that the smaller man wasn't concentrating again.
Connie just about lost it when he looked down and saw Reiner crouching in front of him, holding the harness against his inner thigh. It took all he had to keep his composure when the blonde started clipping the harness across his groin. "You have to make sure this is secure and properly adjusted. You can adjust it...here." Connie blushed at his touch. Reiner stood up and looked Connie in the eyes, continuing his explanation, completely unfazed. How the hell could he keep a straight face right now? "The tighter the better, but keep in mind that you still have to be able to move around." Connie was blushing so hard right now that looking at Reiner's serious face was the only thing keeping him together. He heard Sasha cough beside him and thought he really wanted to choke her right then and there.
"Then you have your blades and the main unit." he picked each one in turn then proceeded to attach them to his body. "This goes here—clip this here—and then this one goes here."
When he was done, Reiner stepped back to inspect his work. He gave him the once-over, staring intently at the smaller man—and for a split second, Connie could've sworn he saw the other's brows twitch, as if there was something wrong in what he did. He looked a little forlorn too, but the expression disappeared just as fast as it came.
"I-uhh…"Reiner cleared his throat before addressing Connie again. "Did you get all that?"
"Y-yeah, I think so." Connie looked down at his fully equipped body, testing out his movements and limbs before looking up to see that Reiner had already gone back to his table, serious face plastered on and staring hard in front of him looking like a true soldier again.
Connie turned and faced front and released a huge breath he didn't even realize he was holding. His heart was beating so fast and he didn't even know why. After all this time, Reiner still had that effect on him. He hated himself for feeling this way. He hated looking like an idiot again for not listening in class. He hated that the instructor called over Reiner to help. But most of all, he hated Reiner for shutting him out again.
"Well that was interesting." Sasha whispered beside him, snickering. Connie glared at her just as the instructor spoke up again and alerted the class.
"Alright recruits, looks like you all have your gear on so listen up. I'll be going over how to do your routine checks and you will follow along with me so stay sharp." The instructor then went over all the steps required to check their gears for proper functionality. "Remember that you absolutely have to do these checks every time you head out with you gears."
After the classroom session, the recruits were brought outside for their first test run. For everyone's safety, all the blades were left back since they were only going to focus on movement that day. They walked along to the edge of the forest where the commander and the other marshals were waiting for them.
"ATTEN-TION!"
Everyone stood ready at the commander's voice, looking forward as he gave his briefing. "We will now perform your very first rundown with the ODM gears! The objective of today's exercise is to simply use your gears to alight on top of the the tree branches above you. Now these are easily at an eight to ten meter height so using your new knowledge on the gears, combine that with the physical and mental prowess you've accumulated for the past six months to get up!"
"SIR!" All of them had a determined look on their face. The air was buzzing with silent excitement and everyone couldn't wait to get started.
"Our senior officers will first demonstrate how it's done then each of you will perform the exercise." The commander pointed to the marshals who were getting ready. One by one, they all launched themselves upward, grappling a point on the tree trunk and landing nimbly on separate branches. The recruits were in awe. For some of them, Connie included, this was the first time seeing the ODM gear in action. After explaining the basics, the marshals descended and faced the recruits, waiting for the commander's order.
"Ackerman! Braun! Step forward!"
"Sir!"
It came with no surprise to anyone that they would go first. The genius and the golden boy, as some people liked to call them. Top of the class since day one and undisputed ever since. Reiner and Mikasa prepared themselves and stood their ground, eyeing their respective branches. Then, simultaneously they launched their hooks and flew up the trees, landing just as well as the marshals did earlier.
Their display was followed by hushed whispers of amazement and awe from their fellow recruits. It was a good move on the commander's part to use them as motivation for the others. He nodded at the two on top then faced everyone again, choosing who will go next.
"Springer! Yeager! Step forward!"
Connie jumped in surprise—this was it. Walking to the trees, he was suddenly filled with the same feeling of excitement he only ever felt on his first day here. He remembered sitting on the horse wagons, peeking outside the covers completely amazed by the view of the camp. And then that time again when he was hanging on their first test, impressing even himself with his skill. He was so ready for this. He looked over at Eren and they nodded to each other before preparing to launch. Connie was standing where Reiner was a while ago and was looking up the trees trying to find a branch to land on. He spotted one, a little to the left of Reiner but a few feet higher than his position and as he looked up, their eyes met for a moment.
Reiner was staring at him again, in the same way he did whenever the two of them were alone. He was suddenly reminded of that time at the stable many months ago when Reiner was tutoring him, and then again all those weeks ago at the lake when he taught him how to skip stones on the water. And that's when he suddenly understood it. That look, he was waiting. Waiting for him to show how good he can be—waiting to make him proud. He liked to think that was the case, even though their situation right now wasn't the same anymore. Regardless, Connie let the feeling course through him and took a deep breath. He readied himself then shot his hooks, his instincts aiming for him. His grapples latched and with the push of a button his feet left the ground, quickly and smoothly going higher and higher. It was exhilarating! He couldn't stop the wide grin forming in his face as he started soaring through the trees. The feeling was incredible, the wind on his face and the feeling of weightlessness. He was flying!
"Connie!" Reiner suddenly called out. Distracted, he realized his mistake too late when he saw that his current trajectory was being blocked by a thick trunk and he was looking at collision in a matter of seconds. He didn't even have time to see that Reiner suddenly stood in anticipation, ready to swoop in just before Connie hits.
But it wasn't necessary. Instead of panicking, Connie instinctively released his hooks and retracted them, freeing him from his current ascentt. Using his strength, he shifted his body so that his feet were in front of him and used that to kick himself off just as he made impact with the tree trunk, sending him flipping backwards. When he was upright again, he shot his hooks in mid-air, choosing a clear trajectory this time and pulled himself up to his target branch and landing with finesse. He took a breath, hands shaking with adrenaline. He actually did it.
"SPRINGER!"
Connie looked down towards the commander's voice, suddenly realizing that the branch he got on to was higher than he expected. "Sir!"
"Very well done recruit!" he smiled then, his face warming up. That was the very first time the commander praised him.
"Alright Next up!"
The day ended with everyone just practicing going up and down the trees with their ODM gear. Connie was feeling quite proud at dinner that night because the majority of them weren't able to get up the trees earlier and he was one of the few who did. Everyone's compliments also may have added to his pride a little, but maybe just a smidge.
"Your were awesome today Connie!" Thomas said. They were still eating at the mess hall and everyone was still talking about today. "The way you did that somersault in mid-air looked so cool!"
Flushing, he awkwardly scratched at his cheek, not really used to being complimented. "Hehe, thanks Thomas."
"I can't wait to give it a go again tomorrow." Samuel chimed in. "Finally we're doing something other than military drills." They had to agree to that. Although they were told that they'd still be doing physical drills and military exercises until the moment they graduate, it was nice to finally have something new to do.
"Well if it weren't for those drills you wouldn't even be able to move on your ODM gear," Reiner said, sitting next to Samuel. It was times like these that Connie usually stopped talking and just blended in with the conversation. He just couldn't bring himself to act as aloof as Reiner whenever they ate with everyone. His presence was a constant shade that he could never break away from.
"Yeah, yeah. Hey I'm sticking with you tomorrow Reiner. You think you can teach me to get up those trees?" Samuel asked. He was among the people who didn't manage the exercise earlier. "Just the getting-up-the-tree part. I'm okay with putting the gear on by myself unlike baldy over here." he snickered looking at Connie who was shooting daggers at him from across the table.
"Well at least he didn't slam into a tree unlike some people." Sasha said in his defense, reminding a now blushing Samuel how he swung back and forth between two tree trunks earlier.
"Hey!" he attempted a comeback but everyone was already laughing at the memory. Connie gave Sasha a small smile as thanks when she winked at him and they all went and finished their dinner just as evening bell rang. Getting ready to walk out, Connie noticed Reiner silently taking the back exit alone without anyone else noticing. Where was he going?
What am I thinking? He tried convincing himself that he was long over this. That Reiner was the one who decided to push him away. He's told himself over and over that he's moved on. So why was he still pining over him? He should really just head back to the dorms with the others. Just forget about him...but even as he thought this, he remembered that this was probably the only time he's seen the big guy alone. He's never really had a chance before so should he go and finally confront him?
Connie remembered how Reiner helped him in class that morning. And the way he looked at him from the trees earlier. Is that why he's still holding on? Because he saw that his friend was still in there, and not the cold person he was acting like? Before he could act on his thoughts though, his decision was made for him when Bertholdt suddenly came back inside the mess hall, looking very surprised to see Connie.
"C-Connie. Hey, w-what are you still doing here?" Bertholdt stuttered nervously.
That's when it hit him. Connie blinked at the taller man's reaction and tried to come up with an excuse that didn't involve the blonde. If there was anyone he didn't like talking about Reiner with, it was Bertholdt.
"I just wanted one last drink before going back." he answered with a straight face and started walking out. He didn't even need to ask what he was doing there. He left the mess hall and a bewildered Bertholdt without saying another word and walked back to the dorms alone. How could he be so stupid all this time? But then again, when was he ever not stupid. All the answers to his questions about Reiner were right in front of his face the entire time and he didn't even see it. He wondered now if the others knew. He suddenly felt so pathetic, all those times he's blushed openly and embarrassed himself in front of Reiner and—
Thud!
Connie tripped and landed on his hands. Down on the ground, he could clearly hear Reiner's voice in his head saying 'You're thinking too much again.' He smiled sadly at the memory. Because now that's probably all they were, memories. Connie got back up and started walking again and as much as he tried to push it away, he couldn't stop the thoughts that flooded his brain. Thoughts of Reiner and Bertholdt secretly meeting at night together. Thoughts of him being replaced. But even worse were the thoughts saying that he was never even someone to replace to begin with.
