Serena's POV

I fell asleep last night still being able to feel Abbie's kiss. When she wasn't looking, I touched my lips to make sure it had even happened. Her strawberry chapstick was still on my lips and once she fell asleep, I reached into her purse and grabbed the tube so I could apply some more. As weird as it sounds, applying more chapstick felt as if I was kissing Abbie all over again. The whole situation is pathetic. Here I am, 18-years-old, and that was the first time I had been kissed by a girl. In fact, that was the first time I had been kissed by anyone.

She didn't come back to our room until a little after 5 in the morning. Even though she didn't tell me, I knew she was on the phone with her friend Virginia while she was outside. I can only imagine what she told her. Abbie probably thinks I'm a horrible person for reacting the way I did. To be honest, I don't know why I reacted that way. It's not like I think Abbie is unattractive. I've thought she was beautiful since the moment I first saw her. I guess I had always assumed she was straight because she never talked to me about girls. Then again, I had never talked to her about girls either.

I'm looking at her fast asleep in her bed and I can't help but smile. Abbie is so beautiful and so different from any girl I have ever met. I quietly make my way over to her bed and give her a delicate kiss on the lips. Her lips are unbelievably soft and a part of me is hoping that she'll wake up to me kissing her. What I'll do if she does wake up, I have no idea. After a few seconds, she is still fast asleep and I decide to pull my lips away before the situation becomes weirder than it already is.

I can't have a crush on Abbie. I can't. She is my roommate and one of the best friends I've ever had. If we act on our feelings, we risk ruining everything we have and making the rest of the school year incredibly awkward. On top of that, Abbie is straight. What if we act on our feelings and she makes me fall in love with her, but she ends up leaving me for a guy? That's always a possibility.

"What are you doing?" she asks when she wakes up and sees me sitting on the other side of her bed.

"We need to talk," I say urgently.

"You actually want to talk to me?" Abbie asks. She gets up so quickly that her blanket falls down to her waist. Why does she have to be wearing nothing but a bra?

"I'm not upset with you," I tell her. "About last night, I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I was just taken aback."

"Was I your first kiss?"

"Yeah," I say hesitantly.

"I thought so." She thought so? She thought so? I am so mortified now.

"It was a nice first kiss," I insist. "You're the type of girl I've always wanted to kiss."

"Type?" she asks with one eyebrow raised. It's the expression of hers that I've grown to love.

"Tall, dark, and gorgeous."

"No one has ever said that about me," she says and smiles wide enough for me to see her dimples. "I really like you, Serena."

"I like you, too, Abbie."

"What do you want to do now?"

"Nothing," I tell her. "We shouldn't act on this."

"But we both have feelings for each other and we shouldn't deny it."

"You're straight, Abbie."

I can tell she's becoming frustrated with me. "Serena, I'm obviously not straight if I have a crush on you and I like kissing you. Sexuality isn't just gay or straight. I like you for you, not for what's in between your legs."

"Thanks?"

"You know what I mean," she says. "Serena, we're perfect for each other. We have similar interests, we make fun of the same obnoxious people, and we always have a good time when we're together. You're quickly becoming one of my best friends."

"And if you leave me for a guy I'll be devastated."

"I'd never do that if you were mine," Abbie insists.

"Abbie, I can't," I tell her even though I know I'm breaking her heart.

"It's fine," she says and gets out of her bed. She grabs her shower caddy, some underwear, and heads over to the shower without saying another word to me.

I spend the next few minutes lying in my bed, trying not to cry. I think I just blew my one shot with the girl of my dreams. There's no way Abbie is ever going to try to kiss me again.