Chapter Seven
Disclaimer: SAME AS USUAL! :)
Author's Note: Thanks to all those who reviewed last chapter. I hope everyone enjoys this one as well! My Muse and I worked hard on this one! (Well, we work hard on every chapter … Whatever!) Enjoy! Hey, I just decided that we would hear from Kili about the Quest as well, so lots of chapters! The Quest will be a bit AU, though. I might twist and turn a few parts about, just to make it a bit more interesting. Anyway, enjoy!
Fili wouldn't let me out of his sight. That wasn't good. Everywhere I went, he came. Thankfully, he didn't come to the washroom with me, but still, his following me had made me puzzled and slightly on edge. Perhaps he was afraid, afraid that I would leave him again. Yes, that was probably it.
But the biggest problem was that I couldn't challenge Linor and Finor because Fili was always trailing after me, always watching me.
Finor and Linor had been surprised to see me at lessons with Dwalin again. I suppose they had been hoping that I was dead.
"Hey, look, Linor! The dwarfling is back!" Finor cried out.
The other dwarflings spun to watch the 'action' as Linor responded to his brother. "That's not a dwarf, Finor! That's an elf-spawn!"
"Elf-spawn!" Finor and Linor both cried. They jabbed at me with their swords. It wasn't hard enough to actually cut or stab me, but they left quite a sting.
I scowled at the memory. A hand on my shoulder made me jump. Fili gazed down at me with an affectionate smile. "What are you thinking about, brother?" Fili asked, sitting down beside me.
"Nothing," I said with a shrug in my voice. "Not much."
Fili regarded me with a curious look, but to my relief he didn't ask any more questions. "How do you feel about swimming?"
"Swimming?" I shot him a glance, and Fili's smile widened. Swimming sounded great. Swimming was great, especially in this hot summer weather. "Sure."
Fili laughed and jumped up. "Race you to the pond!" he challenged.
I leaped up after him, shouting indignantly, "Not fair! You had a head start!" I ran and followed Fili's footprints. We skidded to a halt next to the rather big pond surrounded by trees and bushes. A log was placed conveniently for anyone who wanted to sit and rest.
I leaped in, still fully clothed, and so did Fili. It didn't matter. We were only dressed in thin tunics and shorts anyway. Mother wouldn't mind. Hopefully.
I swam to the surface, gasping for air but grinning. Fili had already arrived at the surface. Everyone knew that Fili was the better swimmer between the two of us, but I was still better at him in some other things, such as shooting with a bow and arrow.
The last time Fili had tried to shoot, he had almost killed Dwalin, and thus, his shooting lessons had ended. I was almost as good as Thorin in shooting, or rather, I told myself that. Dwalin insisted that I was better than Thorin. There weren't many good dwarven archers, and I was proud of my shooting skills.
A wave of water crashed down over me and I sputtered, coughing. The water tasted foul. Making a face, I swam up to the surface and paddled toward the edge of the pond before spitting out foul water.
"Stop daydreaming, Kee!" Fili called as he grinned cheekily.
I scowled at him. "I'll get you back!" I bellowed, pointing a finger at him. Fili's grin widened even more, if possible. I made some threatening and rather rude gestures toward him.
"Kee! I would never tell you to go kiss an Orc!" Fili sputtered as he read my gestures.
I lunged for him with a grin and we went down, tussling and sputtering.
After a while, I found myself on solid land, Fili sitting on my back and holding my wrists behind me. I bucked, but he wouldn't let me go. "Fili!" I whined.
"Nope. Not letting go, brother. Apologize for what you said."
"I didn't say it!" I protested. "I gestured it!"
Nimble fingers tickled my ribs and stomach and I shrieked with laughter, bucking in the mud and getting myself dirty, but Fili was merciless. "FEE!" I screamed, eventually curling into a protective ball and wrapping my arms around myself, protecting my ribs and stomach.
I didn't see Fili's smirk until it was too late. He began tickling the soles of my feet and I squealed, thrashing. "S-STOP!" I cried. "PLEASE, FEE!"
"Say you're sorry."
"SORRY! SORRYYYYY!" I bellowed. "FEEEE!" I burst into harder laughter, and eventually Fili stopped, releasing me.
"You're muddy, brother," Fili said, eyeing me. "Mother will kill you."
"Mother will kill you," I retorted. "I'll tell uncle that you attacked me."
"Attack? I didn't attack you!"
We continued arguing as we waded back into the water to wash off the dirt and mud, and when we were clean we clambered on shore and began heading home, wringing the water out of our wet clothes.
It felt nice and cool in the hot day, and I found myself grinning, all worries that previously filled my mind gone. I wished I could stay like that for my entire life, and for a moment, I thought that the rest of the day would go well.
I was wrong.
"WHERE HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN?" Mother shrieked the moment we entered the house, our clothes and hair now mostly dry but still a bit damp. "NO NOTE, NO MESSAGE, NOTHING!"
I winced at Mother's scream. I looked over to Fili and saw the look of guilt on his face, and I instantly realized that we should have written a note for Mother or uncle before going.
Dis had been visiting the market today and Thorin had been working at the forge from dawn, but he would have probably taken a break to come home and eat before going back to the forge. He would have probably just assumed that we were with Mother or something.
"Mother, we're sorry," I began.
"SORRY?" Mother shrieked again. "OH, YOU WILL BE SORRY WHEN THORIN GOES UP TO YOUR ROOM TO SPEAK TO THE BOTH OF YOU!"
I felt myself go numb, and when I glanced at Fili, I saw that my older brother had gone a bit pale. Neither of us wanted to suffer Thorin's wrath.
When Mother turned and stormed away, we both took it as our cue to head up to our room. When we arrived, I silently changed into some dry clothes and when I looked over to the bed, I saw Fili, already dressed and sitting quietly.
"Uncle will not be pleased," Fili commented quietly as I sat on our bed as well.
"He won't be happy," I agreed. I felt a sudden feeling again—a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.
Shame.
I was ashamed of myself. I had disappointed uncle. Again. I could never be a proper prince; I could never be a leader. I didn't know how to be one.
"Brother?"
I blinked and shook myself out of my thoughts. Fili was staring at me with concern in his gaze. "You know, you can tell me about what's bothering you."
I shrugged. I opened my mouth, but what came out was, "It's nothing."
Fili regarded me shrewdly for a few moments, then sighed and closed his eyes. "If you say so," he muttered.
I felt a flash of guilt. Betrayal. That was what Fili felt right now; I knew because I had seen it in his eyes. My brother had closed his eyes to hide his feelings. I wished I could tell him, oh, I wished I could! But I couldn't. It was stubborn Durin pride I had inherited from Thorin; we were well known for it. But it wasn't just pride, I realized. It was also the feeling that I might shame my brother as well as my entire family.
I wasn't a real dwarf. I was … I was nothing.
You are nothing, the voice agreed.
I shut my eyes and struggled to block out the pounding inside my head. Then the door creaked open and Fili and I both looked up. Thorin stepped in.
I braced myself for the tongue-lashing that was sure to come, but instead, what Thorin did was frown at us for a few moments before saying softly, "Your mother is not happy."
"We know," Fili answered.
"She screamed at us," I added, rather unnecessarily. Then I grimaced when Thorin cast me a disapproving look. I dropped my head, feeling my face burn with embarrassment.
Thorin merely muttered something under his breath (it sounded suspiciously like a curse), then walked out the door, closing it shut behind him.
I exchanged a confused look with Fili. What had just happened? No scolding, no roaring, no thrashing? Then I heard it. So did Fili. We both leaped off the bed and pressed our ears to the door.
"Thorin, you can't just let it go!" Mother was yelling. A thump sounded, and I guessed that Mother had slammed her fist to the kitchen table in her temper.
"Dis—"
"It was unacceptable behaviour!"
"Dis, please, just listen—"
"No, Thorin, you listen!" Mother snarled at our uncle. The anger in Mother's voice suddenly dropped and it was replaced with—sorrow? "I can't lose them, Thorin," her voice croaked so quietly that I had to strain to listen.
"You won't," Thorin answered in a low voice.
"That—that pond," Mother said in trembling voice again. "I—Mirli—I can't—"
I suddenly heard Fili's breathing quicken and felt him tense. I looked at him, curious, but otherwise kept my mouth shut and continued to listen.
"THEIR FATHER DIED IN THAT SAME POND!"
I was suddenly knocked backwards as Fili rushed out, flinging the door open. I regained my senses and stumbled after him, and found Fili facing Mother and Thorin.
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Fili bellowed, pointing a finger at Mother. "Father died during a flood! He died saving dwarflings that were trapped!"
Mother had tears in her eyes. I heard Thorin mutter, "Dis, leave." Mother, surprisingly, left. I supposed she didn't want to hear about her dead husband.
I didn't know Father. I had never met him. But Fili had, and I knew that Fili had been very close to him. Father had died the day after I was born, and Fili had been five that day. It seemed that he was remembering that day clearly. My brother's breathing was harsh and wicked; he was trembling so hard that I became concerned. But before I could speak, Thorin did.
"No, your mother is correct," Thorin said softly. "Mirli son of Rili died during a flood, as you said, but that pond, the pond you went swimming in today … the night before the flood, it had rained heavily. The pond filled up with water and when the flood began, your father, mother, Dwalin, Balin and a few others and I managed to escape narrowly. But two dwarflings were trapped. They were on their table, but they were surrounded by water. They were too young to swim, and there was no sight of their parents. Dead, perhaps."
Thorin sighed, meeting Fili's transfixed gaze. Then he continued. "Mirli knew how to swim. He ran forward, ignoring your Mother's protests and dove into the water. He threw the two dwarflings to Dwalin and Balin, and they were safe. Just as Mirli was about to swim back to safety, where we were all waiting anxiously, a wave of water crashed down above him. He couldn't get back to the surface. He sank deep into the bottom of the pond, and his body was never found again. That was the day after you were born, Kili son of Dis."
I felt a shudder. The very same pond that we had gone swimming in—it might have held our father's dead body? I shuddered again.
"Now do you see why we were so worried?" Thorin moved closer to us, but to my envy and dismay, he drew Fili into a warm hug.
I felt a flash of anger and jealousy. Thorin never hugged me like that. He had never hugged me or cradled me when I had been a wee dwarfling. But I remembered that he had held Fili, hugged him, told him stories.
Then, the day I was born, he had hardened. He never spoke to me as tenderly as he had once spoken to Fili, he never hugged me. He had … changed. I saw Fili close his eyes, accepting his warm embrace.
I turned away, unable to bear looking at their closeness. I knew the feeling too well. I was jealous. "Excuse me," I muttered, grabbing a coat and snapping on my boots before heading out. I snatched up my sword along the way and strapped it to my belt.
"Kili?" I heard Fili call after me.
But I ignored it.
No one wanted me.
"Kili, wait! I'm coming with you!"
The words that Thorin spoke next truly broke my heart.
"Leave him, Fili. He is too lost to see who he truly is."
Uncle's right, I thought to myself miserably. I don't know who I am.
End of Chapter Seven
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed! Please REVIEW!
