Hatred is Harder to Bear
-Wujjawoo-
Standard Disclaimers Apply
A/N: Kirinin – thanks for the review. I think it's one of the best I've had. I'd just like to point out that I'm writing this story with the aim of the end result being a decent Snape-becomes-Harry's-father. I agree that the abuse was a bit overly dramatic, but in all my other fics, Harry is strong and rebellious etc. The abusive aspect of his family life was a good way to change circumstances a bit, and I didn't think it was the all-out abuse that some people do. Sorry if it seemed that way, because I wasn't trying to make it so. The fact that Snape does not care about it serves to widen the gap between the two of them.
oOoOo
You may not believe until you see, but you cannot see until you believe.
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"You would have me take him to the Dark Lord? Why?"
Severus," Dumbledore tutted. "Surely you remember the prophecy?"
Snape started. It had been so long since he had thought of that prophecy, and that night. He had only heard the beginning of it, after all, and he wondered why Albus was bringing it up now. An unwelcome thought entered his mind.
"You believe that Potter is…"
"You don't know the prophecy in its entirety, Severus. There is no doubt that it is Harry, however."
Snape sneered.
"We are doomed," he said, and Dumbledore frowned.
"Have some faith, Severus. It is time you-"
Snape laughed out loud.
"Faith is one thing I will never have," he said emphatically. "And you will certainly not be able to imbue me with it through that boy."
Suddenly Dumbledore stepped back from Snape, his manner cold. His eyes flashed in anger.
"Do you really see this as a curse, Severus?" he asked, his voice distant.
"It is certainly not a blessing."
Dumbledore frowned, and took a step back from Snape, in order to look him up and down. Snape had the impression that Dumbledore thought him something particularly disgusting.
"Harry has wished his whole life for a family, Severus; it is what he sees when he looks in the Mirror of Erised."
Snape sneered, but Dumbledore kept talking.
"I don't believe he has ever truly been loved, by anyone. It is not something a child should go without. You have told me what you see in the Mirror, Severus, and I cannot help but think that this is the perfect chance to-"
"Enough!" spat Snape. "You are a fool, Albus! You are failing to grasp the implications of this situation. You are failing to see that I do not want a son. He is the son of James Potter. We have never gotten along, and never will through any choice of mine. If it is what you wish, I will go along with this until such time as you have made your plans and carried them out. After that time, however, I refuse to have anything to do with the boy!"
Dumbledore seemed to grow angrier at Snape's words, though for the life of him, Snape could not fathom why.
"I do not want a son, Albus," Snape spat, "nor do I have the time for one."
"Ridiculous," replied Dumbledore in a reproving manner. "I cannot believe that a parent would knowingly turn away their child. And you, I know, did desire a family at one time. I don't think that that has changed in the slightest."
Snape sneered. Albus had no business analysing his wants and desires.
"Very well, Albus. Let us pretend that what you say is correct. Were it so, there might be a slight chance that I would be paternally inclined. But I think you are failing to see the details of the current situation. I said I do not want a son. Perhaps what I should have said, to be clearer, was that I do not want Harry Potter for a son."
oOoOo
Harry stormed into the Gryffindor common room, his face red with anger. He saw Ron and Hermione look up and glance at him in surprise, and knowing they would follow, he continued up to the dormitory. He threw open the lid of his trunk and began piling his possessions into it.
"What are you doing?" Ron asked, his voice conveying his confusion.
"What does it look like?" asked Harry savagely. "I'm packing."
"Packing?" asked Hermione in surprise. "Where are you going?"
Harry slammed the lid down and spun to face his two friends.
"Dumbledore has seen fit to impose his will and remove me from Hogwarts," he spat, unwilling to tell them the truth. "It's too dangerous for me here, or some such rubbish. So now I'm to go off somewhere and he won't even tell me how long for!"
Ron and Hermione's jaws dropped in disbelief.
"You're leaving!" Ron repeated. Harry nodded sharply. "Now?"
"I have to be at his office by five," spat Harry. Hermione's face grew sad and Ron swore, kicking the foot of Harry's bed.
"That bastard!" he yelled.
"Ron!" reproved Hermione.
"That's what I said," said Harry glumly, his anger dissipating at their reactions. He laid his head in his hands and sighed. "Bloody hell! Why does it have to be now?" he mumbled. He felt Hermione lay a hand softly on his back, and he looked blearily up at her and Ron. The two of them moved to sit across from him on Ron's bed.
"Did he say why?" Hermione asked. "I mean, apart from it being too dangerous for you here?"
"That's ridiculous!" exclaimed Ron. "Hogwarts is the safest place in all of England! Where else will you go?"
Harry shrugged in reply, before replying in the negative to Hermione. He looked around for anything he might have missed and slammed the lid of his trunk shut. It echoed into the silence with an empty sort of finality. Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably, feeling terrible about lying to them. He couldn't tell them, though. He knew that Ron, at least, would never accept it.
"Well, I guess I'd better go, then," he said wearily.
Ron cleared his throat.
"Bye," he said gruffly, clapping Harry on the shoulder.
"Bye, Harry," echoed Hermione.
Harry murmured a quiet goodbye and set off for Dumbledore's office.
oOoOo
Harry arrived at Dumbledore's office to find it empty, so he sat uninvited in the chair in front of the desk, his arms crossed stiffly over his chest. He glared at the childish instruments surrounding the room in disdain, wondering how he could ever have imagined them to be interesting. His eyes landed on one on the mantelpiece above the fire, and his hands itched to take it up and smash it to pieces. After all, it had no discernable purpose, and its constant soft whirring was becoming increasingly annoying. And it belonged to Dumbledore. In Harry's mind at this moment, that was enough of a reason to cease its existence.
Harry slumped further down in the seat, scowling unseeingly at the wall. His anger bubbled up in his chest, seeking an outlet. He decided that if he had to go along with this…charade, then he wasn't going to make it easy for them. Giving a grim smile of satisfaction, Harry schooled his face into a calm mask and sat up straighter in the chair, raising his chin in defiance.
A moment later Harry heard muted voices that increased in volume as they ascended the staircase, and Dumbledore and Snape entered the room.
"Ah, Harry," said Dumbledore, his voice bland. He came around the front of the desk and took a seat, gesturing for Snape to do the same. "I wasn't sure you would be here."
"You told me to come," Harry pointed out loudly.
"Yes, well…"
"Well, what?"
"Quiet now, Potter," snapped Snape. Harry shot him a glare, which was returned full force. Dumbledore tutted impatiently.
"Come now," he chided. "I sincerely hope the two of you will be sensible about this. I am painfully aware of the fact that you may wish things to be otherwise, but circumstances have forced us into this position. I-"
"You have forced us into this position," said Harry, leaning forward to stare at Dumbledore. "Don't think for a moment that either of us believes otherwise, sir."
Dumbledore stared at Harry for a moment, a flash of sorrow passing across his face.
"I had hoped that it would not come to this," he said softly.
"And what did you think it would come to?" Harry asked bitterly. "You thought I would put up with everything you forced upon me?"
"I have done what was good for you, Harry."
"You have done what was good for your cause," said Harry. "It's what you've always done and it's what you'll continue to do. Don't think I don't know it."
"Harry-" began Dumbledore, his voice firm.
"No," cut in Harry. "Don't try and tell me otherwise. Ill do what you want, Dumbledore, but don't lie to me. Don't lie to me."
Dumbledore regarded Harry with a cool look before leaning back in his chair, a strange look on his face.
"I am very sorry for this, Harry, I really am."
"Snape's sorry too, sir."
"Ah, yes, I see your point."
Dumbledore and Harry stared at each other for a moment before Snape broke the silence.
"If you two are quite done, I would like to complete our arrangements before a decent hour."
"Of course, Severus," said Dumbledore quietly, his gaze not leaving Harry. Suddenly he blinked and looked down at the table. He fiddled with his quill indecisively before picking it up and scribbling something on a piece of paper and locking it away in his drawer.
"Well?" inquired Harry. "What happens now?"
"Now?" said Dumbledore. "Well, you cannot stay here. Your father and I have-"
"Albus!" injected Snape sharply, and Dumbledore sent him a frown, but amended his words.
"Professor Snape and I have discussed possible options. It is holidays in just a few short weeks, and that should be more than enough time for you to adjust to the situation. It is enough time for people to not be suspicious about your disappearance and the appearance of someone new."
"And?" Harry prompted.
"We have decided that you will return to Hogwarts for the beginning of the new term, and will be Sorted as any new student would to evade suspicion."
"So I can be in Gryffindor?" asked Harry quickly, a brief hint of hoe lighting his outlook. Dumbledore gave a small smile.
"Of course. In the mean time, however, you will take lodgings with Professor Snape at his home in London. You have many things to learn if you are to play the part."
Harry thought about objecting, but then wondered what else he had been expecting. Nothing too different, he supposed. He gave a sharp nod of agreement and stood as Dumbledore and Snape did. Snape fiddled in his pocket for a moment and withdrew a small stone.
"Take this, Potter," he said, holding out the small blue object. "I will be along shortly."
Harry grasped the handle of his trunk and gripped the stone tightly in his fist. Snape tapped the protruding edge with his wand and a second later, Harry felt a tug and was gone.
oOoOo
"A Snape in Gryffindor, Albus? It is unheard of."
"Harry is in Gryffindor."
"He is a Potter."
"Don't be ridiculous, Severus. The sooner you admit it to yourself, the better it will be."
"I can assure that I have admitted it, Albus," replied Snape harshly. "Admitting does not mean that I have to accept it however."
"If the issue is of Harry being in Gryffindor, I should tell you that that is only through his own choice."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that the Sorting Hat wanted to put Harry in Slytherin. The two of you are not so different after all, Severus."
"The fact that I chose Slytherin and he did not attests to our complete incompatibility, Albus. You'll see; this will not end well."
Dumbledore didn't answer. He stared off into the distance as though he could see something more than the wall there.
"The more I see that boy, the more he reminds me of another," he said eventually, his voice so quiet that Snape thought he could have been talking to himself. He turned to look at Snape. "I sincerely hope we are doing the right thing."
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A/N: Hope you liked it! Please review and let me know what you think. I'll be updating much quicker now that I've finished CoV, but I'm fairly sure that they won't be long chapters - Wujjawoo
