Thanks for the reviews. These longer chapters are killing me so I've decided to implement a new rule: ten plus reviews earns you an update... ;)


Chapter 7.

Sun rushed towards Jin, crying his name as he caught her up in his arms, and watching their tearful reunion, Kate couldn't help feeling envious of how happy they both looked to have found each other again.

His attention turned to Ji Yeon as they pulled back, asking something in Korean; Sun smiled in response, beckoning their daughter over so that she could introduce them.

He crouched in front of her as she approached him, cupping her face in his hands and whispering something that Kate didn't understand – but that caused his daughter to light up in response – before folding her into a fierce embrace.

Sawyer recovered from his shock next, stuffing his gun into the waistband of his jeans as he stepped forward to hug her. "I thought you were dead," he murmured into her hair, the intimacy of the gesture confusing her as she wondered if he thought she'd come back for him.

She pushed the thought out of her mind. "I'm glad you're okay, Sawyer," she told him, squeezing him back for a moment before allowing herself to sneak a peek at Jack over his shoulder.

The muscles in his jaw tensed, his smile taut as he lowered Aaron to the ground and turned to Juliet, who hovered in front of him, touching his elbow while she greeted him in a low voice.

Kate tried to convince herself that it didn't bother her – not when she was the one he'd proposed to, who was carrying his child – but as he leant in to hug her, she could feel that old possessiveness returning, and it was all she could do not to react.

"Hello Juliet," Ben said when they stepped back but Juliet ignored him, shifting her focus to Aaron instead.

"And who is this?" she asked with a smile.

"That's Aaron," Jack told her, seeming to confirm her suspicions.

"You're taking care of him?" she checked, her smile widening as she glanced up at him.

His expression darkened as he shook his head. "No, Kate is," he insisted, "I'm just helping out," and her heart sank as she realised his feelings about raising Aaron with her hadn't changed.

He wanted her to return him almost as much as Claire did.

Both Juliet and Sawyer turned to eye her with surprise, as if it had just occurred to them that she wasn't in jail.

"I got off," she explained with an awkward smile as the conversation tapered off into silence, tucking her own gun back into her belt and retrieving her son's toy, before picking him up.

"Some… things… happened after you left," Juliet told them as they started down the hill: her and Jack at the front, Kate, Sawyer and Aaron behind, followed by Hurley, Sun, Jin and Ji Yeon, with Locke and Ben bringing up the rear. "So now we try to keep moving. We find that it's safer that way."

Until that moment, Kate hadn't believed "Jeremy Bentham's" outlandish stories about time travelling, but after seeing him rise from the dead, she realised he might not be as crazy as she thought.

"How many of you are there?" Jack asked her.

"About fifty, including Ben's people," she told him, shooting at wary glance at Ben, who Kate had no doubt was listening, though it was a while since he'd said anything. "There were more, but—"

"They bit the dust a while back," Sawyer finished for her, and Kate could tell from the look Juliet gave him that it isn't something either of them liked to dwell on.

"Claire… is she with you?" Jack asked, the words catching in his throat as he tried to make it sound like a casual enquiry, but Kate knew how important it must be to him.

It was important to her too; she found herself holding her breath as she waited for their answer.

Juliet exchanged another look with Sawyer, their gazes travelling to her and Aaron as they eyed him with pity.

"What?" Jack pressed, his voice rising as octave as he struggled to conceal his panic.

"We looked for her in the jungle but we never found her," Juliet confessed, shuddering as she glanced back at the trees. "I'm sorry, Jack, but she was just… gone."

Jack swallowed hard, nodding to show that he'd heard, and Kate wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or even more disconcerted when they still had no idea where she was… or what she was.

"So you really have a boat?" Juliet asked with the beginnings of a smile, changing the subject to something more positive.

"It's right off shore," Jack agreed, forcing a grin in return, but Kate could see that he was still troubled by the thought of his sister's mysterious disappearance. It would be easier if they knew she was dead. "If we leave in the morning, we can be there by dark."

A current of excitement spread through the camp as they arrived, with the remaining survivors all clamouring for news of loved ones and the world outside, seeking reassurance that they were really going home this time.

As Kate expected, not everyone was pleased to see them, but overall, their reception was better than she'd feared; it made her feeling guilty to think that while she was off living her life in L.A., vowing never to return, they were still there, still waiting to be rescued, and she felt a pang of latent sympathy for Jack, whose conscience had never allowed him to fully embrace that existence.

After dinner, Jack, Juliet, Sawyer and Sayid disappeared into one of the tents to discuss the trek back to the beach, but by then, Kate was too wrecked to join them, staying by the fire instead, stroking Aaron's hair as he dozed with his head on her thigh.

Sun had gone back to Jin's tent to be alone with and their daughter, while Hurley reviewed the last Star Wars film for the benefit of an eager group of survivors, but Kate didn't know what to do with herself, where she fit.

Everything was different. It felt strange, being out of the loop. She was so used to being part of the inner circle; she wondered if it was the same for Jack, whose role now belonged to Juliet.

"Looks like you got the kid you wanted," Sawyer quipped as he appeared beside her, and when she glanced up, she saw that the meeting had dispersed; Jack eyed them with a tense expression as he emerged, before taking a seat at one of the other fires.

She tried to keep her composure, but Sawyer's words struck a nerve: no matter which way she looked at it, she was going to lose her son. If Claire was still alive somewhere on the island, then she would want him back, and if she wasn't…

Hot tears spilled over onto her cheeks as she laid her free hand on her stomach, allowing her thumb to caress her small bump. She couldn't do this. She couldn't make this choice.

"Damnit, Kate," Sawyer growled with a bewildered frown when he saw that she was crying. "Why'd you have to go and turn on the waterworks?"

"I'm sorry," she told him, wiping her eyes on the back of her wrist, frustrated when she couldn't seem to put a stop to them. "It's just… I'm pregnant," she whispered. After keeping it a secret for so long, it felt good to finally admit it to someone.

It took him a moment to process this, and then his face contorted with anger. "Jesus, Kate!" he said, letting out a low hiss, looking shaken as he grappled for a coherent thought. "Then what the hell d'you come back here for?"

"I don't know," she agreed, sobbing harder at his tone. "I don't know why I'm here. I don't know what I'm doing!"

"And Jack, he just let you?" he asked, sounding incredulous as he glared over at him.

"He doesn't know," she confessed, grabbing his arm before he could do anything stupid. The last thing she needed was him picking a fight with him.

"You didn't think it was worth mentioning?" he insisted, sighing as he seemed to recognise something in her expression, "Of course not, 'cause he's the guy who knocked you up."

"It wasn't like that, okay?" she argued, growing defensive, not realising how he would take this until he scowled.

"We… we were engaged," she amended.

"Were?" he repeated, unable to hide his surprise.

"Can we just not talk about it anymore?" she snapped, dropping her face into her hands, wishing she hadn't brought it up. What made her think she could confide in him? "I don't even know why I told you."

"Well, it's too late for that now – gimme the kid," he ordered.

"Why?" she asked, lifting her head to look at him, confused.

He let out an exasperated sound, rolling his eyes skyward. "Do you always gotta be this damn stubborn? Just do it."

She passed Aaron to him, and once he was settled in one arm, he held his free hand out for hers. "Get up."

It was clear that he wasn't taking no for an answer; she took it and he pulled her to her feet.

"Where're we going?" she asked with a sceptical frown.

"To see the wizard – where do you think?" he retorted. "We're goin' to see Jules. She'll know what to do with you."

"Jules?" she repeated, wrinkling her nose as she trailed after him. Since when were the two of them so friendly?

He didn't reply, ushering her into one of the tents, where Juliet was making up beds.

"Hey," she greeted him, glancing up at him with a soft smile, flushing when she saw they weren't alone.

"Hi, Kate," she said, struggling to act nonchalant as she moved around to the other cot. "Charlotte and I have organised a couple of tents if you want to put Aaron down."

"We got bigger problems than that," Sawyer told her, shooting Kate a disgruntled look, and if she didn't know any better, she'd guess that he was upset with her.

Juliet pursed her lips, trying to keep her expression neutral as she straightened, glancing from him to Kate and back again. "Is something wrong?"

"It seems Kate here has a bun in the oven," he announced.

"You're pregnant?" Juliet asked without skipping a beat, her eyes widening in surprise when Kate nodded.

She put down the pile of blankets she was carrying, switching over into clinical mode. "Do you mind if I…?"

"No, it's okay," Kate agreed with a tight smile.

"I'm gonna take that as my cue," Sawyer told them, laying Aaron on the closest bed so that he could make his escape. "You ladies have fun."

When he was gone, Juliet gestured for her to sit down; Kate perched on the other cot and she knelt in front of her, rolling up her shirt. "How far along are you?" she asked.

"Almost sixteen weeks," Kate confessed, leaning back on her hands and staring up at the roof while she probed her abdomen with her fingers, feeling her uterus. They were cold, and her natural instinct was to push her away; she flinched as Juliet applied pressure to the spot where she imagined her baby's head to be.

"You should be able to feel the baby move some time around now," she told her.

Kate smiled at the fluttering sensation her exam seemed to stir up, her own hand falling against her belly. "Especially at night," she agreed.

"How have you been eating?"

"Pretty well," she lied; her appetite had been erratic since her nightmares became a regular occurrence: one minute she was starving, the next she had to force herself to finish her meal.

"I'm just a little concerned – you should be putting on more weight," Juliet told her as she replaced her shirt.

"I'm not starving my baby if that's what you mean," she insisted, folding her arms over her stomach, irritated by the implication that she wasn't a responsible parent.

Juliet pulled back with wary look then, changing the subject by hitting her with another barrage of enquiries. "You've been back since yesterday?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"How're you feeling?"

"Tired, I guess," she admitted.

"That's normal," Juliet assured her. "Any nausea or shortness of breath?"

These were different questions to the ones her doctor back home in L.A. had asked her at her last appointment; she remembered the hike, and the difficulty she'd had breathing then, and wondered if this counted.

"No," she told her, deciding that it was nothing to get too concerned about.

"Good." Juliet relaxed, smiling at her. "Do you know what it is yet?"

"It's a boy," she agreed, returning her grin.

"Couldn't wait to find out?" Juliet teased her, but rather than keep the mood light, her words had the opposite effect.

"I know because I've seen him," Kate confessed, her smile fading as she turned serious. "I've been having these dreams…"

"It's very common for expectant mothers to dream about their babies – many even accurately predict the sex," Juliet told her, missing the shudder that ran though her.

"These aren't ordinary dreams – more like nightmares," she insisted.

"Where the baby is missing or in danger?" Juliet supplied.

She nodded.

"Then I would say you're anxious about something, Kate."

"I have a child – I know how to raise one," she reminded her, frustrated that she didn't seem to believe her when she said there was more to it than that. "Why would I be anxious?"

"You didn't give birth to him – maybe you're anxious about that," Juliet suggested.

She didn't realise how close she was to the truth.

"How did Jack react to the news?" she asked in the same polite tone when Kate sighed, catching her eye, her expression unreadable.

"Who says—?" she began, flustered.

"You were off the island together for three years," Juliet reminded her, raising one thin eyebrow at her, and she knew there was no sense in insulting her intelligence by trying to deny it.

"I haven't told him," she confessed, averting her gaze, concentrating on smoothing her shirt back over her stomach.

"Are you going to?"

She licked her lips, afraid that if she didn't, Juliet would. "It's complicated."

Juliet flashed her a tiny half smile. "When is it ever not with you two?"

She was tired of talking about her and Jack; she needed something to take her mind off it. "So what's going on with you and Sawyer?" she asked, taking a sweater out of her pack.

Juliet blushed, covering it by stooping to collect the spare blankets. "You should try to get some rest," she told her, starting for the flap. "I'll check in with you tomorrow to see how you're doing."


Jack's stomach tightened as he watched Sawyer lead Kate into one of the tents, leaving him to wonder what they were doing, and why she was crying like that.

Something was going on with her – something more than him – but whenever he tried to get it out of her, she closed up.

This trip was supposed to be about redemption, about proving to himself – and if he was honest, her – that he still had it in him to be the man he once was, but so far, nothing was going according to plan.

Claire was still missing and Kate couldn't seem to forgive him for hurting her, even if it was for the best.

He reached into his pack, fumbling around at the bottom until his hand closed over a bottle, rolled up inside a pair of socks; checking to make sure no one was looking, he slid it out, staring it for a moment before prying the lid off and tipping a few white pills into his palm.

Just as he was about to pop them into his mouth, a shadow fell over him, and he felt a presence behind him; he tensed, dropping them back into his bag before she – or anyone else – could discover what he was doing, but when he glanced up, he saw that it was only his father.

"You know what to do, Jack," he told him, his expression, hard firm, and Jack groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose to avoid looking at him, aware by now that the only way to get rid of him was to do whatever he'd come there to ask.

"You have to find her," he insisted in a tone that left no room for argument. "Find your sister. Find Claire."


Hopefully you can all start to see where I'm going with this. ;)

Next chapter: Jack gets a lead on Claire... ;)