Chapter seven:
It seemed to all come together in her head. It wasn't because he didn't love her, it was because he had made other promises. She was still locked in his embrace and she found that she had no strength to move. She felt safe.
''Why didn't you marry her, Jack, if you promised such things?''
Jack was silent for a moment. She could hear his heart pound as she leant against his chest. ''Because I knew I was wrong to promise those things to begin with, but at that time, it was what I wanted.'' He stroked Rose's hair and wrapped a couple of curls around his fingers, he pulled at it but not so tight that it hurt and Rose's stomach knotted. ''I heard my father when I was stood up there and he was telling me to do the right thing for myself and not for anyone else.'' He laughed as he heard his own absurdity. ''Maybe I'm crazy but that's what I did.''
Rose pulled away from Jack, she glanced at his face and with her own swollen eyes she saw the boy she had met years before, exactly as he was. ''You know when we were on the ship and I told you that I was going to leave my family, to get off the ship with you?''
''Yes.''
''I heard my father, he told me to do what felt right.'' She smiled through her tears. ''I was ready to give it all up and run away with you.''
''And you trusted it?'' He asked, with tear leaking from his own eyes.
''Yes, and I trusted you.''
His mind fell back on the time. She had become his in that moment and yet neither of them knew just what fate had in store for them. That had been the last second they had been truly happy; before the iceberg, before they lost the other. They had found each other then to be cruelly taken away.
He cradled her against his chest. She could hear his heart stammering fast.
''I love you.'' He whispered.
She heard the words so much clearer than she had any other time he had said them. It was as though clarity had set in. He loved her.
''I love you, too.'' She clung to him. She needed him. Everything which had happened leading up to this moment seemed to fade away. ''Don't let me go.''
With her eyes closed, he found her lips and she welcomed them more than she had before because this time, there were no ties, nothing. They were free to be each others. An explosion of realisation had gone off and now there was no going back. They struggled to breathe as the kiss intensified. They failed to notice the prying eyes of the churchgoers across the street, the heartbroken face of Louise and her father who watched his only daughter weep for her love as he loved another woman.
''Louise,'' Alf breathed through the pain in his own stomach. ''I love you.'' It was dark then. Alf collapsed to the grassy floor of the churchyard, taking with him the hand of his daughter.
''Daddy, no!'' She screamed as she fell to his side.
Matthew rushed to his brothers side. ''Fetch the doctor!'' He called to the vicar. ''He's down!''
Louise kissed her fathers hand. ''Daddy?'' She called, over and over. ''I need you.''
She felt her stomach cramp but the pain. She couldn't lose her daddy. She just couldn't. She glanced over to where Jack and that girl had been kissing. They were now gone. She closed her eyes as she focused all of her pain in one place and then she screamed. So loud. She deafened even herself. She was broken.
The hotel was close enough for Jack to manage to stop kissing Rose. They had walked, touching and holding as though it was the two of them who had just left the church a married couple.
They stopped just outside the front door of the hotel.
Jack leaned forward ever so slightly, so that their lips came into contact for just the briefest few moments. Rose felt her heart flutter and all of her nerves seemed to disappear. She was experiencing emotions she had never felt before. The day was beginning to take its toll on her. Gently, Jack took her right hand in his left and moved forward once again. He kissed her again with more passion than the first time. She could feel his warmth next to her, but yet she still shivered. The outside world seemed to disappear. It was just them now. No more words were needed to express what each felt towards the other. Rose felt as though there was no air. She was dizzy. She struggled and time stood still. This was the moment which she played over and over in her head and yet she hadn't managed to prepare herself enough for what would happen.
Jack wrestled with the urge to keep kissing her; he knew he couldn't stop now. She had offered hesitation but when he pulled away from her she began to struggle once again in his grip. He couldn't let her go not when he was so close.
''I can't hold it back anymore.'' He whispered breathlessly as he leant forward to kiss her. This time it wasn't soft it was hungry. They had both held back for so long. Their hands entwined and touched each other. He clutched her to him tightly, needing to feel his body press so firmly against hers. She leant against him, feeling her body ache for him so much. She was so intoxicated that she couldn't stop and they didn't care who saw. They both needed to relive the tension which had built up between them for so long. His tongue massaged hers so strongly that she felt the strength. They pulled each other so closely as though their lives depended on it. The passion which had exploded was immense and she felt the need to feel his naked torso pressed so tightly against her own. She could hear his breathe, the raggedness and the struggle which he had kept up for so long. She had her own struggle but now she felt the unhappiness drain away from her body and it was replaced by a strong need to be with Jack, an almost animal longing which only grew stronger.
She pushed him away for a moment with her right hand on his chest.
''This has been a struggle for so long.'' Her chest heaved as she spoke.
He touched her face with his palm and then he spoke to her with such sincerity her legs almost buckled. ''I fought and I lost. I can accept that.'' He kissed her forehead. ''I have felt guilty, Rose. But I have no right to feel guilty.''
Rose pressed her lips together. ''You're not guilty for anything than loving me.''
She ached for him again and this time it was her who crushed her body to his and her lips against his. He could feel himself losing control even more and he didn't know how to stop it. He wasn't strong enough to. She fell against his body and he used his weight to hold her up. The kiss was like nothing she had felt before.
She roughly grabbed his shirt collar to push him away. ''Jack, we can't lose control.''
''I lost my self control a long time ago.''
Those were the words she needed to hear. He wasn't going to offer any hesitation then neither was she. He grabbed her hand and tightly threaded his fingers through hers. He literally dragged her inside the hotel.
''Lead the way.'' He told her.
''Up the first lot of stairs, second right.'' She breathed as she handed him her room key.
She could feel her heart pounding in her ears, her breathing still ragged. She allowed him to lead her without any words back down the path where she had ran just an hour before fearing she would be late to the wedding. Fearing seeing Jack marry the woman he loved. Fearing been alone.
She bit her lip still tasting his lips. He let go of her hand as he fiddled with the keys in his pockets. As he turned the key in the lock she could see his hand shake. Once inside the room, she closed the door and leant against it.
Jack grabbed her hips, feeling her curves beneath her dress. She turned around with her back against his stomach. He moved her hair to one side and trailed kisses all the way around her neck so gently. She shivered, feeling her whole body numb and tingle all over. Slowly, she turned around, taking in just how beautiful this man was. Their eyes never left each other's, and slowly, they found themselves to be leaning in to kiss. The kiss was passionate and only a taste of what was to come next. She felt his hands on her waist and he seemed to massage her hips through the dress. She dragged her hands through his hair and then stopped for a moment. He ran his index finger over her shoulder before turning her around to face the door as he slowly found he was unbuttoning the back of her dress. Slowly he managed to open them one by one as he kissed the back of her neck once again.
She closed her eyes and placed the palm of her hand against the door for support as the dress landed in a pool at her feet. Next he played with the lace on her undergarments.
She felt her breathe so ragged and she placed her left hand on her chest to attempt to calm her racing heart. It wasn't as though she was in the nude, she was wearing her underwear and he had seen this much before. She turned her back to him and he began to unlace the garment as gently as he can but still tugging on the lace causing Rose to fall backward a little. She held her hands over her stomach to stop the garment from falling to the floor when it was unlaced. He felt his hands trembling slightly, her bare back coming into view as he continued to unlace.
He could feel his uneven breathing as she turned to face him. Her curls cascading down her shoulders, wearing just her unlaced with her hands around her chest area to keep the garment from falling to the floor. She glanced to him and gave him a small smile, almost shyly. He stepped towards her not exactly knowing why; just feeling he had to be close to her. She was nothing short of perfect, and he couldn't even begin to explain the feelings which roamed around his head.
She lowered her lashes before their eyes met and interlocked and silence fell upon them for several seconds, both of them feeling their heart pound. Suddenly, Jack could take no more, he had to kiss her, and be close to her. He pulled her body towards his and their lips met. It was soft but so full of passion. Rose kept one hand over herself and placed her other around his waist and Jack touched her face as he kissed her, making her nerves flutter. Neither of them knew what this would lead to, it was as if passion had exploded inside both of them and all they wanted was the other. Jack kissed Rose's neck breathlessly and she pushed him away slightly, he looked at her a look of confusion on his face. He thought he had hurt her or moved too fast, but she ran her hand up his shirt and began to unbutton his shirt slowly one by one with the one hand. His wedding shirt. Rose bit her lip as she couldn't help but think that it should have been Louise undoing the shirt that evening.
He trembled more, looking downwards and swallowing heavily, he couldn't believe she was doing this. This was enough to throw any insecurities which she had from her head. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, she ran her hand across his bare chest and stomach. His muscles were tight from the work which he had done over the summer and he had little hair, he was tanned and the most beautiful man she had seen, she wanted him she knew that. Jack pulled Rose to him and removed her hand from her undergarment to allow it to fall to the floor and pressing her naked chest against Jack's. He wrapped his arms around her keeping their torsos pressed together, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her again, she ran her fingers through his hand, feeling her hands shake. She could feel cold shivers running down her back as he kissed her neck before slowing the kiss down as they caught their breathes. His tongue began to play with hers and he felt his whole body throb for her, for his Rose. Pressed against each other and he could feel her breasts against his naked chest, he hadn't looked, he daren't.
His hand slipped down and ran across the top of her exposed breasts. His heart was racing as he glanced downwards.
He caught her mouth once again and this time she knew he wouldn't stop kissing her. He managed to lift her into his arms and carry her to the bed. He lay on top of her and their lips hadn't parted until he got onto his knees to remove her stockings and undergarments. She felt so exposed to him and there was something so beautiful about it. His eyes twinkled in the dim light and she knew that he felt something too.
She watched as he unbuttoned his trousers and kicked them off. She held her breathe as he removed his undergarments. And there he was, naked before her. His eyes were focused between her legs as she spread them for him. In an instant he was on top of her, his mouth on hers. She felt his tongue dive deep into her mouth as tiny fiery threads ran down her spine. His hands were rough as he pulled her legs up against his sides. Hot desperate lips found her breasts and then his hands gripped them. This was what she had wanted for so long.
He tenderly touched her hair as it spread on the pillow around her face. He stopped kissing her just long enough to find her eyes.
''I love you.'' He whispered.
She felt her chest rise and fall heavily. ''I love you, too.''
