I have gotten official approval on Charles' nickname - thank you britpup.
Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I know you've been waiting for the artifact action -
Hope this 'solution' is an understandable one. If not, ask away and I'll do my best to make it clearer.


Chapter Seven That's How Cookie Crumbles

"Helena! What do you know about Miss Wellington's affair?" Charles said angrily because it was still a very sore point for him. He loved that woman and weeks after they were engaged, she announced not only did she love another, she had been having an affair. All of London was abuzz with the news and she had to move to the countryside to escape the gossip. Charles swore revenge but they never did discover who the scoundrel was. Until now.

"Let's just say Charles that she did indeed share her affections with a Wells, it just wasn't you," HG said leaning into him across the bars. Ha! Try and take Myka Bering and suffer the wrath!

"But how? What? Helena, you're not making any sense a 'tall," Charles said trying to figure out if she meant a cousin perhaps. "You don't mean ….," he asked because the chesire cat grin on Helena's face suggested she knew very well what happened.


Myka was not only surprised to hear her phone ring at 5 AM, she was concerned when she reached for HG and she wasn't there. The Sergeant explained that he had not one -but two - of her friends in the town jail and would she be so kind as to come straight away because he was afraid they'd kill each other. Myka hurried and dressed and saw that the SUV was missing. Then she figured out why HG was incarcerated. She drove carefully and slowly into town to get the Wells siblings before they got each other.


"What are you saying?" Charles raised his voice. Helena smiled now, giving him back a bit of his own.

"Let me see if I can put this more plainly for you, Charles. Your fiancé was starving for affection and you were too busy making the rounds at your parties to feed her," HG said slowly.

"To feed her? Helena, I don't understand you." He tried to consider what HG had already told him. A Wells? "Good Lord, Helena! You're not accusing Father of seducing her!" he yelled at the very thought.

"Not Father, Charles. Someone much closer to her age," HG said batting her eyelashes at him. It took a minute for Charles to put it together.

"Helena! You didn't!" he said his voice covered in fury, the red color rising to his face. Now he came close to the steel bars between them but HG moved out of his way.

"Oh I didn't, Charles. Your fiancé did. Came right to my bedroom to talk about how nervous she was about the marriage. She confided in me how worried she was because she was so…how did she put it, oh yes, inexperienced in matters of … the bedroom," HG relayed to him emphasizing the key words. The mocking tone was not lost on him.

"And you instructed her?" Charles said aghast.

"Let's just say that Clarice did not leave the room ….. an inexperienced woman, Charles," HG said pushing him further.

"Helena! How could you?" he yelled through the bars.

"Well, I would tell you how Charles but I still don't think you'd be as good at it as I am," she retorted in the ultimate competition.

The policemen had been contacting Myka and processing the paperwork so they missed the details of the latest argument. They just couldn't wait to get them out of there.

Charles was sobering up by the second. He was livid now with this news.

"Don't be angry with me, Charles. Clarice kissed me, I did not kiss her. Not my type really," HG said unable to hold back.

"Oh and who is your type, Helena? Myka Bering? Are you convinced you can lead her down your darkened path?" he spat across the cell.

"Charles, not only has Myka joined me on that path, we have taken up residence there!" HG said thinking she was impervious now to his jabs.

Charles was down but not out for the count. He knew his sister and while this update threw him, he would not let her win so easily.

"Well for someone so sure of her companion, it seems a bit curious to me why Miss Bering was so taken with my presence. You did notice her flirting back, did you not? And how she engaged in our Shakespeare tête-a- tête? That took no prompting at all," Charles said slowly.

He smiled when he saw his monologue had given Helena pause. She turned to look at him and it was evident that he had stung her back. Helena wasn't as impermeable as she liked him to think. Myka indeed was her weakness.

"So help me Charles, when they let me out of here…," Helena started at him.

"You mean when they let us out, don't you Poppet? Wouldn't want me stuck here to tell my story now would you?" Charles pointed out. "And this way, we can both go back and let Miss Bering decide for herself which Wells she would rather have. The tall, dark and handsome one or the one who can't control her temper?" he said.

"There is no way in hell Myka would choose you, Charles. Not if you spewed Shakespeare all day long," HG said getting more upset by the minute.

"Oh I don't think it was Shakespeare she wanted from my tongue when she invited me into her bedroom and instructed me to close the door," Charles said confidently, twisting the verbal knife.

"Why you…," HG yelled and put her arms through the bars this time. If only she could reach him!

"Why are you so afraid to let her choose?" he said.

"Afraid? Are you bloody mad?" Helena yelled taking every bait he set out. He knew exactly what words to use to send HG over the edge and he was delivering them one after the other.

Suddenly, Helena caught Charles smiling broadly and looking past her and she turned to see Myka standing there. The two of them rushed to the front of their respective cells to tell her their side of the story. Only HG's contained the phrase; "…and then we can dispose of the body."

"You know Agent Wells, if anything happens to your brother here, you're going to wind up on my short list of suspects," the Sergeant said as he stood there. He didn't know which one to release first. "I think maybe you want to have a little talk with your partner here, Agent Bering?" he offered and Myka thanked him. It didn't matter to Helena that she was being released first because the cop thought she needed the most talking to. She turned to Charles and smiled wickedly.


Helena stamped her way out to the car and slammed the door shut as if they could now leave. "Helena, would you mind telling me how the two of you wound up in jail? You know, in case Artie asks me?" Myka said trying to bring HG back to her senses.

"He was arrested for being the drunken coward that he is and I was erroneously detained for having to come and get him!" HG stated.

"Helena, you see the bigger picture here, right? Your brother is here from the 19th century and we have to find a way to send him back, yes?" Myka pointed out ….again.

"Yes, but Myka he is just so infuriating!" Helena said proving that she did not see the bigger picture at all.

"OK, well let's get him back to the B&B. Claudia said she's come up with something that might work but we need him in our presence … alive… Helena, to return him," Myka said yawning as the sun began to peek over the horizon. God this was going to be a long day.


Myka went back in to collect Charles and the policeman told her that they both would have court appearances that week. "Oh this is just great!" Myka said to herself. HG was at the door waiting for them in case Charles tried something.

"How did you even get into town?" Myka asked him out of curiosity.

"By bicycle, of course. I've always said; "every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race," Charles quoted.

Helena moaned loudly. "You are quoting me, you imbecile!"


Myka just wanted a strong cup of coffee and she couldn't drive fast enough to the B&B. The Wells siblings had not stop exchanging barbs since they left the police station and she wasn't sure which one was more annoying. She drove to the house and almost jumped out of the car. She turned to face the two of them.

"I don't know how the two of you managed to write a sentence together, let alone volumes! " Myka said and went into the house.

"I got good news and I got bad news," Claudia greeted them. She was in the same clothes as she was in last night which meant to Myka that she has spent the whole night working on this.

"Why don't you go lie down," Myka said to Charles and then stared at HG until she wiped the smirk off her face.

"Yes, Charles you must be so tired after your night of carousing with women at the local pub," HG said before Myka gently pushed her into the dining room.

Charles went upstairs and Leena was more than happy to show him to the guest room. She secretly hoped that whatever solution Claudia came up with did not work too soon. "I am undeserving of such beauty this hour of the morning," he said to Leena who swore she had never seen a more beautiful aura. Leena had it bad for the other HG Wells.


Myka gulped down the coffee in hopes it would erase some of the tension headache the ride home had given her.

"OK, so here's what I have. The only artifact I could find that might remotely work is the gown that Marilyn Monroe wore when she sang Happy Birthday to JFK," Claudia announced through her muffin stuffed mouth.

"What?" Myka asked because she couldn't see how this would work.

"May 19th, 1962 – Marilyn Monroe sings for President John F. Kennedy at the celebration of his 45th birthday. She wore this dress and sang Happy Birthday Mr. President and made headlines. She was the epitome of a sex symbol singing to the President of the United States," Claudia read from her laptop.

"There was great speculation that they were having an affair, isn't that right?" HG asked.

"Yes and then she died August 5th, 1962. There have been conspiracy theories that it wasn't an accidental drug overdose. What does the dress have to do with our situation?" Myka asked.

"Well, the dress is half the solution. It seems it's imbued with the Happy Birthday song. When someone wears the dress and sings Happy Birthday to someone whose birthday it is – they give that person's birthday wish major mojo," the young Agent explained.

"Meaning?" Myka asked.

"Meaning the birthday wish comes true. In this case, to send Charles back," Claudia said.

"So Charles has to wear the dress?" HG said excited at the thought.

"No," Claudia said putting distance between her and her fellow agents. "According to this, the dress has to be worn by the love interest of the person you are trying to affect so …..Artie suggested ….. that…. You know…. Maybe…. It should be worn by …. Myka," she said slowly.

"Oh you are kidding me?" Myka said putting down the coffee none too gently. "What's the good news?" she asked as she caught the expression on Helena's face. She was already eyeing Myka up and down, imagining her in that dress.

"Uhm, Myka that was the good news," Claudia said. "The bad news is you have to sing the song to someone, whose birthday is soon, like within ten days because that's how far in advance Marilyn Monroe sang it to the President in 1962."

Myka put her head down. There had to be another way but Claudia wasn't done.

"The really, really bad news is that the person whose birthday is up next is ….. Artie," Claudia said and closed her eyes.


OK be honest - - - do you think Myka can pull this off with Artie? Or should I use a different combination of agents for the artifact to work?

It can be changed ... I think.