Hello my lovelies! I'm back with another chapter! This one was actually very fun to write, practically wrote itself! And while I hate Elena and she most certainly won't be a beloved character in this story to anyone but Stefan I love writing her. She's so easy and her and Stefan are as easy to write as breathing just like Damon and Katherine so that was pretty fun! Hopefully you guys enjoy!
"Everywhere I turn, I hurt someone; But there's nothing I can say to change the things I've done. I'd do anything within my power. I'd give everything I've got, but the path I seek is hidden from me now." ~ No Way Out Phil Collins
Stefan breathed, his chest rising and falling unnaturally fast. Elena was coming, she would be here any second. God how was he supposed to explain to her that this was all his fault?..
How would she react? Surely she would would leave him. There would be no other choice. Their epic little play of "Beauty and the Beast" had gone on far too long. This was the last straw...
"Stefan?" he heard Elena's sweet voice call as she entered the boarding house, making her way into the foyer.
"Damon's room.." He whispered, not being able to shout with all the pressure currently closing in on his chest.
Elena was there in a flash, having heard him from down stairs.
"Stefan-!" she started, preparing to scold him for hanging up on her when she noticed the blood falling from his hand.
"Stefan..hey!" she said rushing to his side and opening his clenched fist, finding bits of shattered glass and plastic embedded in his skin. "Stefan, you broke your phone..." she said sadly, but he didn't seem to be listening. He just sat there still as stone, his breaths coming in labored and shallow as his eyes stared on in disbelief at the aged paper he gripped in his hand.
It was only then that Elena looked around, there were papers and shredded envelopes everywhere, "Are these the letters?" she breathed.
Stefan simply closed his eyes, unable to respond. Elena looked around where they were seated on the floor, picking up a random letter and reading it.
Dear Stefan,
Her brows knitted at the start, Damon had written these letters to Stefan? As she continued reading, she felt her blood get colder and colder as her eyes filled up with tears. By the end of it, she simply allowed the paper to fall from her finger tips, bringing a hand to her mouth as she shook her head in horror "Oh my god.." she sobbed.
"This is my fault.." Stefan whispered, the strength of his voice wavering slightly.
Elena looked at him, tears spilling "Stefan no.." she shushed, cupping his face in her hands. She sniffled, her tears coming faster at the sight of her loves' pain. "Stefan shh Stefan look at me, hey look at me!" she begged, her voice stronger than she expected.
Stefan looked at her, his eyes filled with shame, remorse and practically drowning pain. She smiled weakly at him, "This is not your fault." she stated, leaving no room for arguments. "You didn't do this to Damon, Stefan. You didn't torture him for a yea-"
"Five years." He whispered, pulling his face from her grasp.
Elena froze, the color draining from her face, "Five years..?" she gasped.
"I thought you said this happened in 1953?"
Stefan nodded, "til 1956.."
"1956?" Elena panted, she felt like she was about to throw up.
"Five years Elena.." Stefan said, "Damon was in Hell, for five years..waiting for me to help him..to come and save him.." he broke off, "and I never came.." he said exasperatedly.
Elena shook her head, "No Stefan. I know what you're doing and I won't let you put yourself through it." she said walking over to him and cradling his face.
"This wasn't your fault." she whispered, her eyes begging him to believe her. "If you had known anything about this Stefan, you would have done something I know you would have. You're a good brother." she promised, her voice soft as a feather.
Stefan fell apart under her gaze, his lip quivering before he caved, lunging forward and throwing his arms around her; her frame sliding into place with his like a long missed puzzle piece. "I love you so much.." he breathed, his voice rough with emotion.
He didn't deserve Elena, with all her love and forgiveness, and loyalty. But somehow, she thought he was worth something, and at times like this he was glad he had an eternity to show her the same kindness.
But right now, all he could think of was one thing...Damon
Katherine sighed, zipping up her duffel bag and rubbing her eyes in frustration. They were burning and her body was beginning to feel heavy, she was tired. More tired than she had any right to be. She yawned, moving her rubbing from her eyes to her temples and taking a seat on the ridiculous bed.
She blinked, letting her eyes linger closed for a fraction of a second too long, the burning in her eyes becoming a nuisance as she looked off toward the door. Damon was outside presumably throwing his own things in the car and checking them out, leaving it open with his departure. It was night outside, the starry sky clearly visible from her seat on the bed. They had to travel by dark tonight, Damon needed to feed and it was easier for him to do under the cover of the night sky. She tilted her head in thought, this was the first time in centuries where she hasn't thirsted for blood.
It was odd and foreign to her, she had never thought much about what life would be like without bloodlust.
Without the constant desire to drink a man dry, whether it be for survival or simply as a quick remedy for monday morning boredom. But, now that she had been living without it, she envied Damon his dinner. She missed the craving, the taste, the high, the hunt. For centuries she had been a predator. Strong and dangerous. Now, what was she?
She was lunch.
"You know they say frowning causes wrinkles." Katherine looked up, finally taking notice of Damon watching her from the open doorway. "You should be mindful of those kinds of things what with the whole immortal beauty and youth thing out the window." he said, walking forward and gathering up her duffel.
"For now." he added, a small reassurance that would have made her smile had her mind not been so foggy and one tracked.
"Damon." she spoke up, rising to her feet and crossing her arms.
Damon turned to her, eyes soft with gentle curiosity as he hummed at her, waiting for an explanation.
Katherine opened and closed her mouth, scrambling for the words she hadn't thought through, "Have.." she started, taking a few more steps toward him.
She looked down for a moment, before simply asking, "Have you ever..regretted being a vampire?" she questioned, "Has there ever been a time when..you wished you could be..or that you had chosen to stay.." she trailed off, not exactly sure how to put her thoughts into words.
"Human?" he finished, the word coming out as a soft huffy sound, causing a brief flicker in his eye. But it was gone as quickly as it had come, so much so that she almost doubted it was there in the first place.
Katherine remained silent, her lack of words serving as his confirmation.
Damon nodded, a stiff motion, singular and strained as he swallowed, "Yes..once.. for a very long time actually." he said hoarsely, almost as though he was talking to himself.
Katherine's eyes widened,"What made you want..what was it that happened that made you want to give it all up? The strength..the power..the youth..what made you want to give up an eternity?" she struggled, pausing every few words; her disbelief clouding her already fuzzy train of thought.
Damon froze, his jaw tightening as his eyes hardened, the physical evidence of his walls raising themselves up as his lips twisting into a sneer. "We are not having this conversation." he said, his voice becoming stone cold and clipped.
Katherine blanched, stunned at the sudden change of atmosphere, "Damon-"
"No Katherine." he said, looking at her the same way he'd looked at her since the day he met E-lena. Like an enemy, all softness and affection painfully absent.
"We are not doing this." he spat, "This is not happening." he growled.
Katherine squinted at him, the sting of his bitter actions causing her own temper to rise, "Doing what?"
"This!" he exclaimed, dropping the bag to the floor and gesturing harshly toward the both of them.
"This get to know me-heart to heart-make believe crap." he shouted.
"I am not interested in playing your little games Katherine." he bit, his hands trembling with frustration.
Katherine scoffed, "Is that what you think I'm doing Damon?" she paused, "Playing you?"
Damon swallowed his eyes and posture struggling to hold the cool anger she could tell was pure defense mechanism.
Damon was on the defense and she wanted to know why.
"Damon." she started, looking to the ground. She wanted to know what Damon was hiding, but in order to get a little, she would have to give. She closed her eyes, sighing "When I first woke up this way.." she paused, shaking her head and looking around before settling her eyes on him, "I was terrified."
"For the past five hundred years of my life..I've been running..hiding.." she trailed off, taking a breath. "There have been many things in my life that I..regret. The fact that I never got to know my own daughter." she paused, "The fact that my family had to die for something that wasn't their fault.." she listed, Damon's eyes growing softer by the second.
"But in all that time..there has never been one moment, where I have ever regretted being a vampire." she finished. "Not one second." she stressed.
Damon looked at her, his face stern but sad as he searched her face.
"So.." she continued, "I'm curious.." she paused, "What was it that could've possibly made you want to just..give it up.." she finished, her voice weak and soft.
Second passed like hours, a silence thick enough to breathe filling their lungs with each passing moment. She huffed softly, turning around to pick her jacket up off the bed and unfolding the map she'd left lying beside it. Deciding to just forget the whole thing and concentrate on the task at hand.
If the left now they could hit a nice area-
"You."
Katherine turned, the word had been so soft, so fragile that if not for the deafening silence she might not have heard it at all. "What?.." she spoke, trying to gain his attention. But he wasn't looking at her, his foggy gaze was instead aimed far off somewhere between the bottom of the floor and the wall.
"My reason for not wanting to be a vampire anymore..my reason for wanting to choose humanity.." he paused, "was you."
Katherine looked at him, "Me?" she questioned, "How did I-"
"Back in 1864..I watched them drag you out of that room and all I remember seeing after that is red.." he growled, "I was so mad at Stefan for telling, for putting you at that kind of risk.." he paused, his face twisting and contorting into pure anger, "I tried to save you.." he said, looking toward her feet.
"..died trying.." he added, "little did I know you didn't want to be saved.." he drifted, Katherine looked away, her chest swelling with painful regret.
"But the second.." he continued, "The second I woke up and realized you were.." he cut off.
"I wanted out." he said, "I didn't want to be a vampire anymore." he finished, "The only reason I'm standing here today is because of Stefan." he grumbled.
Katherine swallowed, frowining at him, "That.." she paused, her mind floundering with the new information and memories, that just didn't add up, "That doesn't make any sense Damon." she said.
"You asked me for this, you chose to drink my blood, you chose this life..I.." she drifted walking closer.
"I thought you wanted this.." she finished.
Damon scoffed, "I wanted it with you ..Katherine.." he said, his voice coming out softer than he realized, his anger and coldness gone just as fast as it had come.
"I didn't just want an eternity." he paused, shaking his head and taking a step toward her.
"I wanted an eternity..with you." he finished.
Katherine gasped, a slilent action completely inaudible as they stared each other down. Somehow it seemed they were drawing nearer to each other, as if some invisible force were trying to pull them in closer and closer. Katherine gazed at him, her eyes drinking in every handsome feature of his face, from his charming eyes to his tempting lips. Damon was busy doing the same, his eyes wandering from her soft brown hair and sharper brown eyes to her endearing button nose, and settling on her plump pink lips. Mindlessly he leaned forward, his eyes growing darker as he did so. Katherine held her breath, her nerves fluttering as they drew nearer her head tilting at a slight.
'Pleased to meet you'
Damon and Katherine jumped as Damon's phone began to ring in his pocket, slamming them both back into reality. Damon scrambled for his phone as Katherine scurried away, backing up a few steps and bringing a hand up to her lips in shock and disappointment.
'Hope you guess my name
'But what's puzzling you'
Damon frowned at the collar I.D. looking up at Katherine for a moment, debating whether or not to answer.
'Is the nature of my game'
Sighing he slid the button reluctantly, grumbling into the speaker in irritation "What?"
Stefan sighed, running a hand through his hair. What was he going to say?
Elena sat across from him, folded up in Damon's reading chair, her small body leaving enough room for the both of them, but his nerves insisted he stand, pacing back and forth before the fireplace trying to find the right words to say.
Elena frowned, she hated seeing Stefan this way, so nervous to speak to his own brother. "Stefan, don't-"
"How do I do it Elena?" he asked, turning to her, a plea for help in his eyes, "How do I tell him I know.."
"over the phone?" he finished, shaking his head and rubbing his face in exasperation.
Elena sighed, "You can't." she admitted, looking off toward the fire. Damon wouldn't want to talk about it, he would want to retreat to a place where they couldn't make him say a word. Especially over the phone, he would simply hang up and not answer again.
So they would have to go to him.
Elena sat up straighter, the thought coming together in her mind; they would go to him, and tell him then. It was perfect. Stefan could tell Damon that he knew, and both he and Elena could force him to talk about it. To give them answers. And then she could try and talk him out of this ludicrous plan to aid Katherine.
"Let me talk to him." she blurted, causing Stefan to look at her curiously, "I'll tell him I want to talk about what happened before they left, that I want to apologize and talk it out." she explained, "I can ask him to meet us and we can ask him then." she finished, rising to her feet and reaching out for her phone.
Stefan looked at her doubtfully, handing over her small phone, "Elena I don't-"
"Stefan trust me." she interrupted, looking at him with a glow in her eyes that melted him to his core, "It'll work." she promised.
He nodded his head, crossing his arms, giving her the go ahead.
She smiled halfheartedly before pressing call, bringing the phone to her ear. It rang a few times before he finally answered, his voice agitated, "What?" he answered.
Elena jumped at the cold greeting, "Damon?" she asked, beginning to pace.
"What is it?" he snipped, his tone getting more annoyed.
She sighed, "Damon listen I wanted to talk-"
"Obviously." he interrupted, she sighed again, "Damon please.." she said trying to get him to listen, "I wanted to apologize."
Damon scoffed, "Yeah? Well I don't wanna hear it." he said, "You think you can control me Elena and you can't. Not anymore." he finished.
"Damon please just give me a chance to explain." she pleaded trying to calm him down, "Just tell me where you are and we can meet up and talk it out-"
"No Elena." he said, his tone stubborn. Elena shook her head, "Damon just please listen-"
"No Elena you listen. I am done trying to justify who I am and what I do to you. I'm sick of everything I do not being good enough or big enough." he said, his words getting faster by the minute, "I am sick of trying so hard to be someone I'm not." he spat.
Elena scrambled, her mind trying to catch up with the situation, "Damon, where is all this coming from?" she asked, before a boiling anger began to settle in her stomach, "Did Katherine put all of this in your head?" she asked.
Damon scoffed, "Unbelievable.." he paused, "I'm done Elena." he finished.
Elena frowned, "Done? Damon what do you mean, done with what?" she asked.
"I'm done with this. This relationship or whatever the hell it is that's going on between us!" he scrambled, "Whatever you wanna call it Elena I'm done, I don't want it anymore."
Elena shook her head, "Damon no.." she said, her hand rising to her hair, tugging on it nervously, "Whatever it is that Katherine planted in your head, we-we can work it out don't give up Damon you've come so far-
"Elena stop!" he shouted, silencing her with his anger, "I'm so sick of this whatever I choose to do with my life is my choice I'm not Stefan or Jeremy or Matt I won't let you do this to me Elena not anymore."
"Damon.." she whispered, her voice pleading.
"Save it Elena." he said, "Whatever promise or excuse or apology you have planned save it." he paused.
"I'm over it and I'm over you."
Elena froze, his heartless words feeling more like a stake through her chest. No, this wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.
"Damon I'm sor-"
"Goodbye Elena."
That was the last thing she heard before the line went dead. She stood there frozen in place with her hand over her chest. It felt like the world was caving in on her, like the walls were slowly moving in to try and crush her, body and soul until there was nothing left. How could this happen? How could he be so cruel?
"Elena.."
She turned, looking at a worry struck Stefan with tears in his eyes. She tried to speak, but it came out as a sob, she then realized she was crying. Tears were flowing and she couldn't make them stop. She felt like she was going to die, her heart was pounding and her nose was beginning to run, she looked toward Stefan once again her face falling.
Stefan stepped forward swooping her up in his arms and shushing her softly, running a hand over her hair. She sobbed into his embrace, wrapping her arms around him tightly as the pain came rushing out of her, only to make room for more. Stefan kissed her head, cooing at her and holding her steady, his grip was strong as steel, comforting in a time where she literally felt as though she was being ripped apart from the inside out. How could he think this of her? Of them? How?
Then it hit her, it wasn't possible. No. Damon would never speak so harshly to her, he would never hurt her this way. She sniffled, Damon was kind, and gentle and he loved her. Damon loved her. He loved her. She repeated the words to herself over and over again until her sobs turned to hiccups, and Stefan began to rock her in his arms.
"I love you Elena."
She nodded to herself, no, this wasn't Damon's fault. Damon loved her and she had to trust in that. It was Katherine. Katherine was poisoning him and trying to get him to turn on her and Stefan and keep her to herself as some kind of personal toy. She wanted what Elena had. She had started off wanting Stefan but when she saw how impossible it would be to steal him she turned to Damon.
Elena's blood boiled, Stefan didn't love Katherine, he knew enough to see the monster that Katherine was and move on from that. To find a better life and love with herself. But Damon, Damon she knew would always be there. Always be willing. All he needed was to think, if he only thought even just for a moment there was a chance at love he would take it, he would blind himself and fall right back into the arms of his killer, his destroyer. The woman who made him the monster he believed he was.
Elena wouldn't allow it. She would save Damon if it was the last thing she did.
Damon scowled at the device in his hand, proud of himself for the first time since he met Elena for letting her go. He didn't need her. He was fine before her and he knew he would be more than fine after.
Katherine looked at him in shock, unsure of whether or not to speak instead she chose to clear her throat awkwardly. "So.." she started.
Damon looked at her as though he'd almost forgotten she was there, a moment passed before he finally spoke up, "We're not talking about it." he said bending down and picking up her duffel.
Katherine nodded, "Okay." she said, picking up her jacket and the map and heading out the door.
Damon threw their things in the trunk taking a moment to breathe in the chill night air before walking to the front of the car and getting in the driver's seat, finding Katherine already in the passenger side.
He started the car, pulling out of the lot and switching the radio on, turning the volume on soft in case Katherine wanted to fall asleep.
The melody of the song playing poured through the speakers like honey, it was soft and sweet and Damon felt himself and Katherine relax beside him.
It was a love song, something that Damon supposed should be making him think of Elena and all the dreams he'd lost. But instead he found himself looking to Katherine, the lyrics filling him to the brim with a familiar warmth aiming itself at the gorgeous woman seated beside him.
She looked to him then, finding his eyes on her, but he wasn't embarrassed, instead he found himself wanting to reach out and take her hand, his mind shook itself at him in a dull disappointment, she would never allow him. He shouldn't be letting himself see her this way again, no matter how perfect it seemed, or how easy it was he should be fighting.
Katherine noticed him drawing back, deciding now was a good time as any to tell him what she had wanted to tell him back in the room, before the phone had interrupted them.
"I watched after you, you know.." she said softly, drawing his attention to her once again.
He looked at her curiously, "When?" he asked, his voice matching hers.
"When you turned.." she answered, "Both you and Stefan..I had to leave mystic falls for much longer than I'd ever guessed.." she explained, "I thought I would only need to stay gone a few weeks maybe a month before I could return.." she continued, "but, the weeks turned to months and before I new it, it had been two years.."
"You and Stefan had both moved on to different places by the time it was safe to come back.." she said, "So I searched for you.."
"Both of you.." she added, "I checked on Stefan in some small little town I can't hardly remember the name of now.." she said shaking her head softly, "Then I found you in some large overcrowded city, and I watched after you." she finished.
"Wherever you went for as long I could.." she whispered, "until something happened and I had to leave the country, I ran to England and even from there I still sent others to watch over you.." she finished looking at him, taking in his reaction to her words.
Damon looked at her in confusion, "Why? I thought Stefan was the one you loved why bother with me?" he asked, his brows furrowing.
Katherine frowned, "I did love Stefan.." she admitted, looking at him sadly when his eyes filled with disappointment.
"But..I loved you too." she confessed.
Damon shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around everything, "No, you said-"
"I know what I said Damon.." she said looking down at her lap, where her fingers were twiddling nervously, "And it's not so easy for me to say so just.." she trailed off shaking her head, "Just promise me..you'll listen.." she asked, only continuing when he nodded his head.
"I lied to you when I told you that it was always just Stefan." she confessed, "And I'm sorry for hurting you.." she said, her eyes filled with sincerity.
Damon looked at her the awkwardness of her movements and facial expressions an obvious sign that she didn't do this often and he wanted to smile, so he did. He didn't know what was going on or what all of this would mean in the morning but for right now, he was going to pretend that everything was alright. He was going to let the feelings in and allow himself to believe he finally had what he wanted..
He moved his right hand from where it had been idly placed in his lap, using it to take her own fidgeting one, rubbing the nerves away soothingly with his thumb and smiling to himself as he whispered, "It's okay.." he said, watching her fingers curls around his, the soft music serving as the perfect addition to the soft moment.
He brought his eyes to hers, letting the emotions he was feeling show for the first time as he looked deep into her own, the small smile resting so naturally on his lips, "I forgive you..Katherine.." he said, his voice hushing and sweet as though trying to comfort her.
Her heart swelled with relief and excitement at the way he was looking at her in that moment, she smiled at him, allowing her worries to fall away along with the fading music, signalling the end of the song.
Whatever may come on the rest of this trip, whether or not she got her vampirism back or if she was doomed to remain human. She would hold on to this moment.
Forever.
Well my lovelies hope you guys enjoyed! I really liked writing this chapter, so I really hope you liked reading it as well!
Also let me know if you would all like me to release the playlist I have for this story now or if you would rather wait till the story is complete!
By the way, the song that was playing in the car is "Cost is too High" (Not to Love) by Adaline
Thanks to all who read!
Much love.!
xoxo
((4 reviews for the next chapter.!))
