Warnings: Slash/Yaoi, Sexual Themes, Angst, H/C, Language, Alternating POV, Possible spoilers until chapter 613 (Darn you Kishi :c )
Disclaimer: I still don't own, and I'm still writing for entertainment and not for profit.
—"If I could say what you'd like to hear
I'd whisper in your ear it's only temporary"
"But for now can we just both pretend to sleep
Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need"
—Marianas Trench
Chapter 6
Naruto's eyes opened slowly and the first thing he saw was the view outside of his window. The sun was shining through the leaves of the tree outside and it created a soft soothing glow around his room. He was face down on the wrong side of the bed and with a soft groan he lifted his head off the pillow that smelled a decent amount like Shikamaru. "Damn it!" he cursed and snapped his head to look at the alarm clock where sure enough it read that it was 9:30 AM. He had overslept. He was about to gather himself out of bed when he felt another's weight dip the mattress and he turned his head to see Shikamaru fully dressed.
"I thought you needed your rest," Shikamaru said, his expression betraying nothing but boredom as he crawled over and laid on his stomach, one arm slinging across Naruto's back urging the blonde too to lie down.
"And Naoyuki?" Naruto said, immediately feeding off of Shikamaru's calm energy.
"Fed and in class," Shikamaru assured him.
"Thank you, you didn't have to," Naruto murmured softly, watching the brunette with the one eye that peeked up over the pillow he was hugging. He was slowly recalling the night before and it was making his mood heavy once more. People always described their relationship as simple and lazy, Sakura had always found it borderline adorable the way they did things. It really was anything but. When things did work out between them, Naruto figured they pretended that everything was okay, that everything was just that simple because neither of them wanted to deal with the problems. They simply held on and hoped that the illusion was enough. They had broken up a total of six times over the past few years. Ever since Naoyuki had been old enough to understand and know what he wanted, he had thoroughly decided he wanted no part of Shikamaru. Everyone always said it was probably because Naoyuki didn't want Naruto's focus split, Naruto wasn't sure it was that simple. He had a suspicion that Naoyuki wanted his real family. Even so, they kept finding their way back to one another. They had decided the last time that they would only try if Naoyuki was okay with it, Naruto couldn't ask his son to accept someone he didn't trust and he couldn't ask Shikamaru to work so hard on a relationship that had only ever been a gamble. Things changed when the brunette had saved his son, everything seemed to click into place and Naoyuki seemed to understand that Family wasn't only something written into your blood. Something had come along with the incident though. Naoyuki changed when he had been brought home, he was frightened of several things but the biggest complication beyond trust was how much a lack of control frightened him. It was the reason he had been so angry that Naruto hadn't informed him of the invitation he extended to Sasuke. If a dinner invitation had the power to unhinge his son, Naruto truly feared what Shikamaru's desired conversation was going to unleash.
"You had a long day yesterday, all I did was sit around and do nothing," Shikamaru said with a shrug.
"Every day is a long day," Naruto mumbled with a sigh and he lazily rolled over onto his back, his leg hooking over top of one of Shikamaru's, purposely invading the brunette's space.
"That's what happens when your actions catch up with you."
Naruto stared up at the ceiling and he could feel the pace of Shikamaru's breath where his shoulder pressed against the brunette's ribs. "Oh…so that's how we're going to start the fight?" he was sure he should be offended but he was less than invested.
"Is that what we're doing? Usually a fight consists of you yelling, so whenever you're ready," Shikamaru said, but only silence followed.
Naruto's eyes didn't leave a small speck he found on the ceiling, his head tilted and he let out a heavy breath. Shikamaru was right. He knew he was before the man even said anything, all of their problems, all of their issues revolved around him running away from Sasuke. "It would make what comes next easier," he said after some time had passed.
"What's next?"
"The part where you leave me," He murmured quietly.
"Nice of you to let me know what I'm going to do," Shikamaru turned his head and Naruto did as well.
"You saw what happened last night...I can tell. Most people tense up when they lie, you release tension in your shoulders when you do," Naruto said, he could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes. It seemed like all he was doing was crying and he hated the buildup more than the actual act. "Plus you always get really nice right before you leave me…like your pre-taking care of me or something. I'm surprised you didn't make me breakfast," He mumbled. He felt sad that he knew the signs.
"I was about to start when I heard you moving around…" Shikamaru said as he shifted his weight onto his side. He reached over to push Naruto's hair back and out of his eyes a moment. "I think I can differentiate between who kissed who, unlike Ino. You wouldn't do that to me," Shikamaru said, coaxing a pitiful laugh from Naruto.
"Yeah, Sai's a little too socially dense to notice when someone's flirting," he said.
"No one blames you, you know? Were there better ways around the situation? Maybe, but you did what you thought was best. Naoyuki's a wonderful young man, that didn't come from nowhere, that came from you."
"I hurt him though…I hurt a lot of people," Naruto admitted.
"I don't know all the details," Shikamaru trailed off.
"What you mean is you can't help me without knowing? Sasuke didn't let me tell him anything…we had a fight and I never tried again," Naruto said.
"Define fight,"
"You know the definition perfectly fine," he mumbled.
"Was it verbal?"
"I don't want to talk about it," he really didn't. He knew what Sasuke did was wrong, but despite the fact that he might be involved with Shikamaru didn't give the man rights to that insight. He doubted Sasuke wanted to know what he had done that night, let alone anyone else.
"I think you and Sasuke need to sort things out…with your words," Shikamaru said and briefly paused as he thought, "your well informed, rational, big boy words."
"Who knows when that will be," Naruto murmured. He had a hunch that Sasuke was either going to be back on his door step by the end of the day, or he wouldn't hear from him for a week or so. It might give Naruto a little time to figure out how to do things. He had been trying to forgive Sasuke for years, maybe talking would do him some good.
"It's never too late to fix things," it was a generalization but Naruto appreciated it.
"Except us," Naruto murmured.
Naruto's eyes were back on the ceiling before he felt Shikamaru's warm hand urge his head to the side and his eyes slid shut in anticipation. Shikamaru's kisses were always slow and tender. There was a sense of security in the lack of unpredictability. Some might think it to be boring but Naruto find it to be a wonderful resting point in the middle of his chaotic life. "You're still not yelling at me," Shikamaru murmured, their lips brushing together with every word spoken.
Naruto's eyes opened and locked on Shikamaru's and on the tail of a heavy breath he said, "I love you…"
There was a long pause between the pair and Naruto could see the confliction in Shikamaru's eyes. He sighed at the bittersweet feeling that ripped through him as Shikamaru's long fingers ran through his hair again. "You love him more…"
"People need to stop telling me how I feel," Naruto said into the second kiss Shikamaru pressed to his lips and he found himself needing to face the brunette, needing to hold onto the other man. His feelings for Sasuke were complicated, but he did know one thing. He didn't trust him, and he didn't know if that could be repaired. Two nights together were not basis to disrupt the entire life he tried to build for him and his son. It didn't matter how compelling the thought of being together was.
"Am I wrong?" he heard Shikamaru say before those lips pressed against his throat.
"I dunno…I beat you at your precious game, anything could happen," Naruto said, swallowing the lump in his throat trying to ignore the fact that Shikamaru might not feel the same about him. He allowed his hands to slip down Shikamaru's back to slip under the hem of his shirt.
"Hm, maybe…trust you to keep rubbing your victory in my face," Shikamaru said, but despite his words he continued to tease at the honey flesh.
"Stop analyzing. I can hear you thinking," Naruto hooked his leg with Shikamaru's and rolled until he was straddling the other man. Shikamaru hadn't known all the information, Naruto could tell his own admission was causing some conflict. His hands slid up the other man's defined arms to clasp their hands together. He had always loved his hands.
"What am I thinking then?" he asked.
Naruto felt the hands close around his, and the feel was familiar and soothing. Tipping his head on an angle he leaned down. "You're thinking about—" their lips met in relaxed sensuality, "—how you want to be inside of me," his voice rasped and he could feel the shiver that coursed through the frame beneath him. There was silence between them, and with a gentle quirk of Shikamaru's lip Naruto suddenly felt his back against the mattress again with Shikamaru's solid weight resting on top of him. It was a rare occurrence that Shikamaru ever took charge, one that Naruto loved.
"Not exactly," he said. Naruto's confusion only lasted the moment it took for the brunette to duck down to press his lips to the blonde's ear. "I'm thinking about how much I love you," He whispered as his hand slipped down Naruto's side to rest on his hip bone.
Naruto's lips parted as he heard the admission. He turned his head and effectively caught Shikamaru's lips, their kiss was slow and passionate and Naruto couldn't help but lament at their sense of timing. After gathering himself he reached up and caught Shikamaru's hair tie. He slowly drew it out until each strand pooled over the man's shoulders. "We're brilliant," Naruto muttered, so brilliant for figuring their relationship in the end.
"Absolutely astute," Shikamaru said absent mindedly as he sat back, pulling his black shirt over his head before making quick work on the last of their clothes.
"You're using weird words again," Naruto mumbled, shivering as he felt their flesh come together with no barriers. He felt a little more comfortable now, romantic just wasn't them.
"Absolutely incontinent," Shikamaru kissed into the blonde's collarbone and Naruto let out a soft lighthearted laugh that morphed into a strangled groan when Shikamaru's hand began to palm his member, urging it to life.
Naruto hooked his ankles around Shikamaru, drawing him impossibly close. Grinding up against the other man he let out a low growl, and was pleased when Shikamaru similarly groaned. He didn't want to wait. Anywhere that wasn't pressed up against the other man, panting beneath him, over him, crying out in pleasure, was too far away.
"Impatient…" Shikamaru's teeth slowly dragged across the honey column, careful not to mark the man, but he was playing a dangerous game on the boundary.
"And you're dawdling…" Naruto muttered breathily. He kept Shikamaru close, enjoying the delicious friction between them.
"Troublesome," Shikamaru said, but Naruto could hear the smile on his lips as he spoke. Shikamaru's hands on his thighs were enough to make Naruto shiver in anticipation. The brunette untangled the dark legs from his hips, spread them, and allowed his hands to linger on the back of the blonde's thighs. His fingers ghosted over the soft flesh behind his knee, flicking at it gently.
"Hgn, tickles," Naruto started, with a twitch of his leg before catching Shikamaru's wrist. "Please," He murmured, not remembering the last time he had felt this sense of urgency. He watched the brunette as his solid frame leaned forward, hovering over top of him. He bit his inner lip and nearly groaned in frustration as Shikamaru smirked down at him. His eyes roamed over the other man's features, he was so consumed with the tug of the man's thin lip, the arch of his elegant brow, and his dark eyes that the hand closing around his member came as a surprise. The blonde moaned deep in his throat as the other man began to stroke him, effectively distracted him from Shikamaru's free hand slipping from his grasp.
The next thing he felt was Shikamaru's slick member nudging at his entrance. His body quaked in response and he could no sooner stop the muffled keen as Shikamaru pressed inside than he could refrain from dragging the other man down, forcing their lips to lock in a kiss drunk with passion. The quick loss of breath he suffered from having Shikamaru's full weight crash down on him didn't even register until Shikamaru's hand began to pet through his hair. Naruto absentmindedly classified it as Shikamaru's attempt to calm him down.
When Naruto finally relaxed his hold on the other man Shikamaru gathered his weight on his elbow before he urged his hips into motion. The pleasure slowly began building between them until Naruto's throaty cries echoed down the hallways through the open door. Shikamaru's small grunts and groans sounded nowhere but Naruto's ears, and somewhere in the shroud of desire Naruto was able to admire that look of eyes closed concentration on Shikamaru's face. His blue eyes were half lidded as Shikamaru found that spot inside of him he shivered and let out a moan. His hands slid down the brunette's sides, feeling the muscles beneath his fingers as he dragged his blunt nails to Shikamaru's hip bone gripping tightly. "Kiss me," He whispered.
Shikamaru's eyes fluttered open in a dazed expression and Naruto could see desire that matched what he felt inside. Each movement was slow, Shikamaru leaning forward with gentle rocking of his hips, and the barest brush of their lips. Naruto could feel the steady build between them, and the steady crescendo of his breathing and as they rocked one another to euphoria it was no matter if Naruto's hands were on Shikamaru's hips, at his back, or on his arms. He refused to let go. Trailing Shikamaru's breathy groan, Naruto keened as they met their end. The blonde soon found himself with Shikamaru's dead weight on top of him.
"Ow," Shikamaru muttered his breath heavy as he reached up to dislodge Naruto's fingers.
"Sorry," Naruto panted, relaxing his hold finally feeling his body begin to wind down. He trailed them up Shikamaru's arm and into his hair, shifting his weight until he was comfortable. He couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh when he felt Shikamaru's lips mouth along his throat.
"S'fine, I'll live," Shikamaru mumbled and he shifted until he was lying on his side. He was still pressed against Naruto, his arm slung over the blonde's stomach.
"Mnnn…I should get up," Naruto said and he tried to roll toward the edge of the bed but was immediately stopped by Shikamaru's tightening arm around his waist.
"Let's just stay here all day," Shikamaru said, burying his face into Naruto's collar bone.
Naruto huffed as he felt himself incapable of moving and he slung an arm over top of Shikamaru's. "Shika, I have to work. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough."
"You've been on that verge for over six months," came the muffled reply.
"Yeah, well, life happened and I haven't been able to find time to keep up with everything."
"I don't know why you can't just read them in bed."
Naruto stared up at the ceiling and found that same speck from before. His lip twitched and his fingers began to draw small patterns on the back of the brunette's hands. "Fine, but at least clean up you lazy bum," he swatted at Shikamaru's arm and was finally able to dislodge himself.
"I'll think about it," Shikamaru simply flopped over onto his back, his arm folding under his head casually.
Naruto snorted as he stretched, "Of course you will, you think about a lot of things,"
"Mnn," Shikamaru didn't even have enough will power to answer properly.
Naruto mumbled as he made his way from the room, returning some ten minutes later obviously cleaned up and with a loose pair of pants on and a few scrolls in his hands. "Did you even move?"
"I didn't feel like it…but I did," Shikamaru promised, not looking up from where he now rested on his stomach.
Naruto smiled and he settled back down onto the bed unsurprised when Shikamaru's arm slung over his midsection again. "I'm proud of you," Naruto muttered, catching the man's wrist and he lifted it to press his lips against Shikamaru's knuckles. "Now hush," he smiled and unravelled a scroll.
"Mmk," Shikamaru's eyes didn't open for a second, he seemed completely content to have Naruto's warmth against his side. They sat like that for a couple of hours and Naruto could tell that Shikamaru was drifting in and out of sleep. Eventually Shikamaru's arm tightened around his waist again, "Nope," he mumbled.
"Nope what?" Naruto asked, not looking away from the third scroll he had brought with him. He let out an undignified noise of surprise when Shikamaru dragged him farther into the middle of the bed and he was forced to abandon the scroll.
"Nope, you can work on saving the Hyuuga family tomorrow, I need you right here," he mumbled, not allowing Naruto's struggles to disrupt his hold.
"That's unusually selfish of you," Naruto muttered. He had been trying to find a way to safely remove the seal from the branch family for years, but all he had done was uncover the original seals that it was derived from and was forced to even come up with an adaptation of the seal due to the council's urging. He could feel he was getting close to the solution though.
"Mhmm," was the only answer Naruto received before Shikamaru shifted until he was effectively spooned against Naruto's back, "Shh, go to sleep," Shikamaru reached a hand up and lazily covered Naruto's eyes, urging Naruto to laugh.
"You're more unusual than people give you credit for," Naruto said as he finally relaxed. He looked up at the clock and he sighed heavily. He could spare this time to be with Shikamaru. He closed his eyes and rested his hand over Shikamaru's arm once more, trying to ignore this bitter sweet feeling that they weren't forever and they were only trying to hold onto the illusion for a little bit longer.
Sasuke was a murderer and it was no surprise to him. He knew exactly what he had been before he had found his way back to Konoha. He had tried to keep to his morals as best he could when he initially turned his back on Konoha. He tried only to rob the life of the person who he thought had torn his life apart. It wasn't until Itachi's secrets had been unveiled that Sasuke's disposition on murder had changed. He had been completely willing to rob every person in this village of everything it had stolen from him. He hadn't cared that there were children and innocent members of the community here, or maybe he did his best not to think of it? Now that he thought back on it he wasn't so sure his heartlessness was concrete. He tried not to picture himself as a child, not understanding as he uncovered the lifeless bodies of people he had loved. He desperately tried not to see himself in the children he'd potentially be killing. If he likened the innocent children of Konoha to himself he would have lost his resolve, so he chose not to think of it.
It hadn't mattered though. His resolve had been completely broken due to whatever he had felt for Naruto. Whatever it was that had him so captivated had been enough to sway his decision. He couldn't remember the exact words Naruto had uttered to him in the final battle. Surely these feelings hadn't been the only deciding factor in his sudden change of heart? Sasuke wasn't sure of that either. Naruto had spoken of how they knew one another; how Naruto knew at his core that Sasuke was a better person than he was acting like. Naruto had mentioned how he had believed in him, and how there had never been a moment of doubt in his mind that Sasuke would make the right decision in the end, even if it would bring about his and Naruto's destruction. Sasuke had never had any shortage of people believing in him, no shortage in people knowing that he was destined for greatness. It was that day he discovered that there was only one existing opinion that mattered to him and he found that he was so tired. He was tired of the constant hatred that burned through his veins, he was tired of opposing Naruto's ideals and he wondered if, maybe, Naruto was going to be the one to save him. He wanted everything to end, and though he knew he had cut his decision close, when it seemed like their world would be lost on the trails of his clan's reign he decided that the world would continue on the trails of the Uchiha name instead. No, the world would continue to exist because of the names Uzumaki and Uchiha.
He had tried to forget the other man because of something he wasn't sure he could comprehend anymore. When he had surrendered, and aided the blonde in the war he had decided he never wanted to hurt Naruto again. He could see in the blonde's expressions just how much damage he had done. When he was faced with the option of returning to Konoha with Naruto, or running away again he had to choose the lesser of two evils. He could return to Konoha with the other man and forever be tempted to destroy the place of his birth, or he could leave and keep everything Naruto cherished safe. He would never forgive himself if it turned out he wasn't as good as Naruto thought he was. So he left, and convinced himself this would hurt Naruto less than if he eventually gave into temptation. He convinced himself that he needed to rebuild his clan and that Naruto couldn't give him that. He never imagined he could be wrong in that.
Naruto had always been unexpected, it was clear that the blonde's unpredictability knew no bounds. So Sasuke found himself in his apartment, fresh from what had occurred the night before. He sat beside his bed with his head hung low and his arms resting limply on his propped knees. He had only ever killed men who were evil, the ones who took innocent lives. It was the only justification he had in the murders he committed for money. The potential murdering of his own unborn son was never something he considered possible. When Neji had managed to drag him back to the apartment he had pitifully crawled to the washroom and released the contents of his stomach.
He had never hated what he had grown up to be more than he had now. He couldn't cope with it, so he did everything in his power to turn off his emotions because it hurt too much to think he could have taken the life of someone he loved more than anything. It hurt too much to think that he had willingly raised his hand to Naruto in that fashion…all to get a point across.
He spent all week more or less seated there, at the foot of his bed. He only moved from the general area when he absolutely needed to. It was seven days before his newly locked window began to rattle, and Naoyuki's muffled voice filtered through, Sasuke didn't move to let the boy in. He stayed seated, with his head bowed as tears slowly slid down his face.
His brother was right, he was very foolish.
"Naoyuki, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you!" Naruto asked in anger. He had leisurely strolled toward the Academy, his spirits high earlier that day. Naruto waited at the swing like he usually did and when Naoyuki didn't show in the first 10 minutes he went in search of him only to have Iruka tell him that Nao was the first one out of the classroom. Naruto had taken off to search for him, trying to remain level headed and not let his panic overcome him.
"Nowhere," Naoyuki muttered, his hands stuffed in his pockets. It was only then that Naruto had seen Nao's eyes, glistening with unshed tears that only remained at bay out of stubbornness.
"What's wrong, Naoyuki?" Naruto asked. His brow furrowed and he took three whole steps and knelt in front of his son, brushing his hair back gently. He pressed a kiss just below a faded scar on the boy's temple and feared that once more he had been unable to protect Naoyuki. "What happened?"
"Nothing, dad!" Nao said angrily and tried to push Naruto away, but the blonde refused to budge.
"You don't have to tell me Naoyuki," Naruto said, feeling a heaviness crushing down on his shoulders. Nao was locking him out and was doing nothing to conceal that fact. "But if you don't, I won't be able to help," Naruto said running his fingers through his son's dark tresses.
Naoyuki was quiet as he glared off to the side. He reached his knuckles up to wipe roughly at his face, and watching his son over another moment was all it took for the boy's resolve to crumble. Nao's small arms wound around his neck and his chin rested on Naruto's shoulder. "He really is a jerk," he muttered.
Naruto's eyes widened as he glanced in the direction Nao had appeared from. Sasuke's apartment was in the same direction. He embraced his son and lifting him up he stood slowly to ensure his balance remained strong. "What did he do?" Naruto asked. No, it had been a week since their fight, but he still believed with his entire being that Sasuke wouldn't hurt Naoyuki. Had he been wrong to trust the man with their son?
"He won't see me. I know he's there, but he wouldn't let me in. I could see him, he didn't even move, like I wasn't worth his time. Like he doesn't want me," Naoyuki said, his voice heavy with emotion.
"Nao…" Naruto murmured and he embraced his son even tighter as he began to walk back home. "Naoyuki, he wants you very much. I promise," Naruto knew that much. "Sometimes, people just need a little space to themselves," he tried to salvage the bond between Sasuke and his son that Naoyuki believed was crumbling.
"No! There's no space between family," Naoyuki said, his fists gripping into Naruto's deep red over-shirt tight enough that the fabric almost squeaked in his grip.
Naruto's eyes widened as he heard the words. Naoyuki had never once called Sasuke father, or any derivative of the word. He had no doubt that Naoyuki would eventually see it that way, but even Naruto couldn't have imagined that they had grown so close in a few short months. "Naoyuki, everything will be okay," Naruto tried.
"He's not like us, is he dad?" Naoyuki asked quietly, his grip loosening on Naruto's shirt, but he didn't let go. "It's just us…we're in this together, like you said. Nothing will come between us…" he murmured.
Naruto felt a slight stinging behind his eyes. He remembered saying those words to Naoyuki when the boy had been convinced that Shikamaru was just trying to tear them apart. "He's trying, baby," Naruto murmured soothingly, petting down Nao's back. "It's been a long time since he's been in a family," he said as he walked up to the front door of their house. Upon opening the front door he saw a picture of Sasuke with his parents and brother. "He needs to figure out how to be in one again," Naruto said his gaze lingering on the photo, knowing that he personally needed to learn how to let Sasuke in as well.
"That's not good enough…" Naoyuki said softly. "He's the one that who came back uninvited. He can't…he can't just leave and not tell me!" Nao was angry again and trying to squirm out of Naruto's hold.
"Naoyuki, enough," Naruto murmured. He crouched and let Naoyuki down and before the boy could run off he gently urged the boy's chin up to look at him. "Sometimes things happen that we can't control, that doesn't mean that anybody loves you any less. Not me, not your aunts, uncles, grandfathers, and not Sasuke. Do you understand?" Naruto watched the confliction in Naoyuki's blue eyes and it almost broke his heart.
Naoyuki's arms wound around his neck again and the boy openly wept. "I hate this feeling," the words were muffled, but Naruto heard every word. He knew that Naoyuki was reliving the night of his abduction almost three years prior, when all control had been taken from him. He knew that in the face of Sasuke's unintentional rejection, Naoyuki was feeling powerless again.
"I know," Naruto murmured and simply held the boy until he fell asleep, unconsciously hiccupping in the aftermath of his tears. He carefully lifted the little raven and carried him to bed, took off the boy's sandals, and pressed a gentle kiss to his brow before leaving him be.
Naruto hated this feeling too.
Naruto had decided to let Naoyuki rest. In the short hours after school had let out he knew the boy had a very emotionally draining experience. He knew that the argument between Sasuke and himself had put distance between them again, but he thought Sasuke would alienate him and not their son. He could live with that, but with Sasuke blatantly ignoring Naoyuki. Well, Naruto couldn't stand for that. He dispersed a single clone and sent it off to Shikamaru's house.
He breathed in deeply and he made his way to his personal study. The study was the area he kept all his scrolls, the ones his father had left behind and others that Naruto had travelled to collect. He grabbed small book and took it with him to his own bedroom. When he had compiled the book into something worthwhile he wrapped it in a simple paper. He had taken care in wrapping it, just like Sakura had showed him on the eve of Naoyuki's first birthday. He bit the inside of his cheek and went to sit out on the deck. He observed their garden quietly, remembering the feel of Sasuke's lips on his, and then recalling the terror he felt with it. The terror that there was still something between them after all this time, the terror that he continued to feel when he began to think of 'what if?' scenarios. It hurt to think of a life where Naoyuki might not be with him, he needed to learn not to dwell on Sasuke's actions, because Naoyuki was with him now and that's all that mattered.
"You summoned me?" Shikamaru's voice sounded over his shoulder and Naruto jumped in surprise. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't heard the man.
"Oh, Shika…yeah," He said softly and he picked himself up off the deck. "I need you to watch Nao for me…Sasuke and I have something to straighten out," he murmured. "He's sleeping," he explained.
"He was upset?" Shikamaru asked.
"Yeah, I need to do some patchwork," Naruto offered a sad smile. Shikamaru seemed to recognize Naoyuki's behaviour and the fact that he never slept unless he had to, or he was upset.
"Take your time," Shikamaru said quietly.
"Thank you," Naruto said before he departed for Sasuke's apartment.
When he arrived he felt the anger building up inside of him. He had decided that he was going to be tactful, and talk about this like adults. He decided to keep his anger in check, but every intention he had vanished when Sasuke wouldn't open the door upon his knocking. "Sasuke! Open this door this instant, or I'm going to inform the council of what I saw in your eyes last week!" He threatened, he had seen the man's Sharingan, he was positive. His jaw was tense and he couldn't unwind even as he heard movement inside the apartment. It took a few moments but the door slowly opened. Naruto didn't give Sasuke time to say anything before he pushed inside, slamming the door shut behind him. He paced back and forth twice before he finally looked at Sasuke. "You look like shit you bastard," Naruto said. It was true. Sasuke's hair was an absolute mess and he had dark circles under his eyes that nearly resembled Itachi from what the blonde could remember.
"What do you want?" Sasuke's voice was quiet and held no emotion.
"You're an idiot! I told you he couldn't handle actions like this! I told you and you didn't listen! Are you capable of thinking about anyone else but you?" Naruto asked, his fingers fisted and his knuckles cracked three times under the pressure.
"I assure you that I have no idea what you're talking about. If you're going to yell, you can leave," Sasuke said and he moved to open the door.
Naruto growled audibly and he stalked forward, his hand laid flat on the door and he slammed it shut just as Sasuke had opened it a few inches. "The hell I'm going anywhere! Do you want to get to know your son?" he asked.
Sasuke frowned and stared at Naruto and the blonde could see something flickering inside the raven's obsidian eyes. "How can you ask that?"
Naruto could also sense the uncertainty in those words. He knew Sasuke was waging a war inside himself over the discovery of what he had done. He knew he probably should be a little more compassionate, but the memory of his son's sobs was enough to quash that. "I'm not the only one who feels the need to ask. You told me that you had to witness our son confess that he thought you didn't want him all these years. Yeah, well guess what? I just finished consoling him because he thinks you still don't want him!" Naruto said.
"I never said anything like tha—"
"—You didn't say anything at all! I told you Sasuke, you can't treat him with silence. I told you that it would only hurt him, and you went and did it anyway! You fight with me over the right to our son and the first thing you do when you get a little bad news is run away? This is exactly why you shouldn't be involved," Naruto said with a growl. It was a harsh statement, but everything Sasuke was doing was exactly what Naruto was hesitant about in the first place.
"Quit acting like it isn't a big deal. If you ran away from it, it obviously is you idiot," Sasuke said, Naruto could see the weariness in Sasuke's limbs but he wouldn't relent.
"I'm touched you feel so guilty, but damn it Sasuke. I'm trying to move past everything and give you another chance for the sake of our son and what's the first thing that you do? Sasuke, you need to make a decision on whether or not you want to live for our son, or if you want to live for yourself, because you can't do both," Naruto said. He was unimpressed when Sasuke's eyes glazed over in what Naruto assumed was inner reflection. "Well, clearly you need some time to think. Make up your mind fast though, because you might not be in so deep that it'll leave a lasting impression on him if you leave, but it will be very soon," Naruto muttered as he turned toward the door. Sasuke had forcibly torn his way back into Naruto's life, and into the life of his son. He was giving Sasuke this last chance to make the right decision, but the fact that Sasuke had to think about it was the biggest disappointment of Naruto's life.
"You have to know that this isn't easy Naruto," Sasuke said, but the blonde didn't face the other man in spite of the returning emotion he heard in the man's voice. "How do I look him in the eye knowing that as easily as I'm the reason he's alive, I could be the reason he's dead?" he whispered.
Naruto sighed heavily and reached behind him to grasp a wrapped square he had tucked inside his waist band. "Here," Naruto muttered. "I almost forgot," He said as he handed over the brightly coloured gift. His jaw shifted as he tried to think. "Sasuke?"
"Yeah?" Sasuke said quietly as he gently took the gift from Naruto.
"Figure it out, or stay away from us," Naruto said with a steeled expression before he made to leave. It was a severe ultimatum but Naruto couldn't put Naoyuki through a life time of Sasuke's uncertainty. Not when it hurt his son this much.
When the door shut behind the blonde, Sasuke stood there unmoving. His hand was grasped around the gift Naruto had presented him and he felt himself begin to shake. Naruto couldn't understand how it felt. He didn't know what it was like to possibly be your son's murderer. How dare he talk to him like he knew anything? Naruto had no idea what he was talking about.
He turned and he walked down the hall and back into the core of his apartment. He threw the gift on the table before he sat on the edge of his bed with a heavy breath. When Naoyuki had shown up at his window and Sasuke heard his voice all Sasuke felt was fear. He felt a fear that churned his stomach, he couldn't let Naoyuki see him so weak, it would have hurt the boy more than Sasuke turning him away. He knew that much. Right? Naruto didn't know…so Sasuke rested back on the bed and fell asleep, determined to escape this feeling of torment once more.
It was two days before he had begun to eat properly. He made himself a full meal, and it wasn't until he had finished that the gift caught his eye once more. Sasuke frowned and he picked it up. He stared at it for a long time; it was light blue with bright green frogs printed on the paper. He grew angry as he thought of the blonde, and grasping a corner he tore the paper haphazardly to reveal a small black book and he rolled his eyes. Did Naruto expect him to learn from some sort of self-help book? How much more dimwitted could he get?
Sasuke froze when he opened it though. His eyes widened as he stared at the front page, it was a photo of an impossibly small infant nestled into an obnoxious orange blanket. His eyes were closed and lips were smiling in slumber. The baby's hands were fisted and rested over his chest, a light fuzz of black hair dusted a top his head. Sasuke's brow furrowed and he felt the emotion begin to build in his throat. He couldn't muster the courage to turn the page for some time. When he did he was faced with Naruto cradling their child months later, looking down with a genuinely happy smile on his face. Naoyuki's eyes were open wide, hand grasped tightly in the folds of Naruto's shirt. The third was of Naruto lying on a couch with Naoyuki sleeping cradled on his chest, the blonde wasn't smiling but the expression was nothing but content. He turned to the next page but there wasn't a photo. Instead there was a white piece of paper, Naruto's messy writing was at the bottom corner.
Bastard,
Come find us when you're ready for more.
- Some Moron
TBC…
Drama, drama, drama. My poor boys.
It's been a long time since I've read/watched the fight between Naruto and Neji. I apologize if I'm wrong, I can't remember if the seal can't or won't be removed. For all intents and purposes of this fic, there's no known way to remove it.
Please, I hope you can take the time and leave me a review~
