Chapter Seven

The Dream


It had to be a dream, otherwise her nemesis had a very strange sense of humor.

Amanda found herself in the midst of sitcom - or at least what she perceived as the set of one. She stood next to a large dining room table laden with glistening meats and casseroles. She wore a cocktail dress that likely hadn't seen the light of day for three centuries. With it was a plaid apron that clashed outrageously. The colors of both were a special kind of neon that made Amanda wince every time she glanced in the mirror.

The mirror itself was something strange. It's frame was overly ornate and pinned to the railings of a staircase that lead nowhere. In the reflection she could see ghosts moving around in the audience – though the rows were empty. Her hollow eyes stared back at her.

Everything was unnerving.

"I'm going mad…" The woman whispered as she yanked off a pair of oven mitts (that she didn't even knew she had on) from her hands. Both gloves hit the floor dramatically, cueing a laugh track that made Amanda yelp in surprise.

"Oh c'mon!" She sputtered to the ceiling, hoping someone would hear her. When her heart stopping trying to jump out of her chest, she looked around a bit more. The stage lights were blinding, but she could make out a few cameras and some balconies beyond the decorated dais.

"This is ridiculous… wake up Mandy… wake up…" Her voice was shaken. This was unlike any dream she had before. It was too real.

She wandered around desperately, picking up knick-knacks from an era she'd only experienced in museums. Was she in a period piece from the 1900s? The 2000s? She tried pinching herself and half expected the walls to peel or blur as she transitioned into reality. Nothing of the sort occurred. Frustration made the teacher throw herself onto a wooden chair and put her hands over her face.

What was she doing here? And why couldn't she remember falling asleep? Did she nod off marking again? Perhaps she had a little bit too much of the midnight wine…

Something was bothering her - a curious weight on her heart. Absentmindedly Amanda put a hand to her shoulder. She turned to her hand and frowned at it, feigning dusting off her frilly apron to make the gesture make sense.

As if waiting for the opportunity to scare the wits out of Amanda, half a dozen Sareks appeared in the chairs surrounding the table. Amanda jumped yet again, crying "Jesus!" before she could control herself. The six pairs of eyes just stared at her, full of malice. The Ambassador's face was like a gargoyles, and suddenly everything she did flooded back to her.

She gripped the back of her own chair as if holding onto it would save her from his inevitable angry words; yet he didn't stir. There was silence on the set.

"I didn't mean to betray you! Honest! I knew you trusted me… but…" She started before letting go of the chair and jumping to her feet in a fit of passion that was out of place. Her sentence trailed off lamely in the stillness of the room and Amanda resorted to hanging her head. The Sareks were doing nothing but following her movements with their frozen expression of hatred. Amanda realized they were just a figment of her imagination like everything else. She mumbled, "You're not even here… " and sat back down.

The teacher put her hand back to her shoulder again. This time there was pain buried there. For a second Amanda wondered if she were dying and this was some sort of 'sub-heaven' where she had to face her sins before she could move on. What happened if she didn't? Would she be stuck in this ancient silent sitcom for all eternity?

She would deserve it for what she did…

Sarek trusted her, and she used that trust to put him in danger.

The woman grabbed locks of her hair and wrung them as if expecting to get answers out of it. Of course it didn't work.

"What can I do to atone for what I did?" Amanda raised her head, blue eyes turning to each Sarek in turn with absolute sincerity - but they didn't move. Under her gaze they began to flicker and fade, leaving Amanda alone as she was when she first appeared on the set. The loneliness hit her hard.

An empty house, with no one in the audience. No laugh track now. No one applauding at her every move. This wasn't a sitcom, it was a horrible soap opera, and she was the star. Was this a metaphor for her life? Was it really like this? All vacant and cold?

This was a terrible dream! Wake up! Wake up!

Amanda got to her feet and started to pace frantically. There had to be something she could do! This was no ordinary dream… maybe if she tried to knock herself out she could get back to reality? What if she died here…?

With a deafening chime that made Amanda clap her hands to her ears, the doorbell rang. Her head whipped in the direction of the stage door. "What… the…" she started to murmur before realizing that she probably should be asking 'who' rather then 'what'. The woman took a few hesitant steps towards the source of the sound, before full out dashing to the door and yanking it open.

Applause erupted from nowhere in particular, but Amanda paid it no attention.

"I sincerely apologize for the intrusion." Ambassador Sarek said in a deep voice that seemed to penetrate every fiber of Amanda's being. This Sarek was different from the ones that materialized earlier… but he was also different from the Sarek in reality. He seemed younger, and more venerable. His stoic mask was removed. Amanda said nothing as she stepped aside in a dream-like motion and let the Vulcan onto the set.

Perhaps it was the complete shock that was written all over her face, or the slight drop her jaw made, but Sarek seemed uncomfortable. Usually he never seemed like anything.

He looked around the studio with his eyebrows knitted together. A once over was enough to satisfy his curiosity. "You have a very strange imagination."

Amanda made to open her mouth and reply, but nothing came out. What was there to say? Was he even the real Sarek? If he was, why was he here in her subconscious? Amanda wanted to reach out and touch him just to make sure he was there, but she refrained and sat down in the chair she had been lamenting in. Without any of her usual reserve she stared at the Ambassador with the most confused expression she could muster. She couldn't summon the words, but Sarek heard them anyway in the way Amanda draped herself in her chair.

"Miss Grayson. You are critically injured and being held prisoner by the Romulan known as Nula E-Fethreie. She will probably kill you at her next opportunity." Sarek approached Amanda carefully as if measuring every step. His hands were behind his back, making Amanda nervous despite this being her own dream. It seemed as though he were building up to ask her a favor. He continued, "She is inexperienced and would not have been able to abduct me so easily without help – yours excluded."

That statement, spoken so softly, still felt like a slap to the face; but it was the truth.

"I'm sorry. Really… I am." Amanda attempted to smile, but she knew in the back of her mind that charm had no merit with a Vulcan. "She poisoned me. Unless I did something I'd be dead in 24 hours; that, and she threatened my family. It seemed logical to follow through with her plan. Don't you Vulcan's have a saying? The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few?"

Ambassador Sarek took a deep breath. "We do not have time to assess whether your actions were right or wrong. I understand the motive behind what you did, and that is all I need regarding that subject. For now."

Amanda nodded. The shock of Sarek being in her head was beginning to wear off, and the questions she wanted to ask before began to jumble into words.

"What are you doing in my dream? You're not mind melded with me are you?" Amanda's voice went up an octave during her last question. She knew that Vulcan's had some interesting abilities, and that mind-melding one of the more fascinating ones. Usually Vulcans refrained from even mentioning them among strangers. Such techniques were veiled in mystery, and that's the way Vulcans liked to keep it. From what Amanda learned in her studies, Vulcans rarely melded with anyone but those extremely close with them. If Sarek was mind-melded with her…

Sarek was definitely uncomfortable now, Amanda could he it in the way he held himself. He stood center stage and allowed the stage lights to make a shadow out of his face to help assist his emotion suppression. It must be harder for him to retain his Vulcan nature in the mind of someone whose feelings liked to run rampant every second of every day.

"I am not... fully bonded." He was careful in his choice of words. "Considering your mental state, it is possible for me to manifest myself in your thoughts. I am using a precise form of telepathy," he explained simply.

"Oh…" Amanda blurted. There was a mixture of emotions swirling within her. She was surprised to find that disappointment was the most outstanding. "Then… why are you here?... boredom?" They would have to be close by in order for him to use his abilities, perhaps he just wanted to talk? Then again, that seemed like something a human would do, not Sarek.

"I am here to ask for your permission to become one with your mind."

Amanda turned bright red. How could he just waltz in here and ask her something like that? It was as if he were asking her for a stick of gum! The teacher struggled to clear her mind, but the laugh track kicked in making the both of them jump and look around.

"What was that sound?" Sarek inquired, recovering faster then Amanda. In the tilt of his head, she noticed that his ears were greener than usual.

"It's…. nothing. Just dream stuff." Oh god, why was this happening to her? She stood up, her face still pink. She needed more information, and she was already at the peak of her embarrassment. What more damage could she do by probing further?

"I'm sorry if I'm not entirely clear on Vulcan customs, but don't Vulcan's only meld with… well…" She couldn't finish her sentence, there was already too much blood rushing to her cheeks, any more she was going to get a nose bleed.

Sarek blinked at Amanda, making her feel even more uncomfortable. The teacher thought she should be used to it by now.

When Amanda didn't continue Sarek assumed that she never would. "You would be the first human to ever experience kash-nohv, but in my defense I am a most accomplished 'mind-melder' and have done it a few times previously."

This didn't make her feel any better. For some reason it put her on the defensive. "Oh really? Just how many minds have you penetrated?" She couldn't get the image of him surrounded by a bunch of Vulcan women swooning over his sensual melding abilities out of her head. Did Vulcans even brag about that kind of stuff?

The Ambassador raised an eyebrow at her question. "Your tone changed."

"Nicely noted Einstein." Amanda said before she could stop herself. Sarek looked confused at this rebuttal, making the teacher feel horrible for using sarcasm against the poor Vulcan. It wasn't his fault she was stressed out and trapped in some sort of nightmare.

"I'm sorry. I just… can I say no? I mean, there's a lot in this human brain of mine I don't want you to see." It was her mind after all. Him being in her dreams was difficult enough.

Sarek hardened his voice and pinned her with a stern look. "I need to view your memories to find data on who is behind my kidnapping." Sarek turned his back to Amanda and examined the empty audience. "You will not wake if this issue is not resolved."

The woman jumped to her feet and looked at Sarek with unbelieving eyes. "Oh come on! You mean to tell me I don't get a choice?"

"You misunderstand. You humans are…" He struggled to find the right word, "Frustrating."

Sarek turned back to Amanda, his face less stoic. Amanda was struck dumb with the emotion he fought to keep off of his face. It turned him into a different person. "I do not wish to meld with your mind, but it is the only available option to me at the moment. Nula will return in approximately thirteen minutes, yet it took that amount of time and more just to explain my presence!" Anger made his face flush green. "I'm trying to save you!"

Amanda stood entranced.

Sarek covered his face with one hand and attempted to return to his usual self. "Your choice is death or kash-nohv. I am offering you life Grayson. I'm offering you Hope. Please take it."

What was he saying? How did this turn around? He was the one asking for information. He was the one not taking no for an answer. He was the one offering hope. This was not the Vulcan way.

Amanda slowly crept up to Sarek till she stood a few centimeters away. Her eyes were level with his chest. "I don't want to die Sarek," she whispered. Tears threatened to untangle themselves from her eyelashes for many different reasons, some she could not understand. Sarek was trying to save her, even after what she did to him. It would be stupid to deny Sarek the means to try and solve the problem out of pure vanity. So what if this was going to reveal some embarrassing emotions? This was going to be more awkward for Sarek.

The Ambassador looked down at the woman before him and raised his hands. He waited to see if she would resist before he put his fingers to her psi-points and began to meld with her mind. It was a lot easier then blending with another Vulcan; Sarek was surprised. The influx of thoughts and feelings were overwhelming. Amanda had no control, no shields to lower or even ability to resist if she wanted to.

Before he knew it, he was spinning into the depths of Amanda's psych. Like a weighted blanket he twisted himself into her thoughts, ideas, beliefs and memories. Sarek felt so many things at once that he struggled to breath in the maelstrom of emotions. Instinct told him to back out while he still had the chance, but his own voice buzzed in his ear and reminded him of the damage breaking the connection at this juncture would cause.

He needed to proceed. He needed to let his barriers down.

With much trepidation, Sarek relaxed and Amanda's mind enveloped his own like a mother's embrace.

And they became one.