The bravery of wearing a lifetime of scars is the purest love of all.
φ
Once upon a time, there was a prince and a maiden.
"It frightens me."
He turned to catch a glimpse of her profile. "What does?"
"Being here, away from everyone. What if we get caught?"
"What's wrong with getting caught?"
The clues of a scowl traced her glabellas. "I'll be beheaded. That's what is wrong."
"My head is worthier than yours." He mocked.
She twitched hesitantly. "So if I cry for help and say a strange man is holding me down, you'll be fine getting stabbed to death?"
He smiled softly. "Don't get your hopes up. They'll see me and bow reverently and proceed to apologize. I'll tell them I was merely looking over the town's "inventory" and will give a vehement display of how there's nothing good out here."
She hissed between fangs. "How could you?"
"And at this point your family will be begging me for forgiveness. I'll tell them to give you to me and all is solved."
"You're mad!" She shrieked.
"In such circumstances, my reputation is the only thing that can save us."
"What about chivalry and asking for permission? Courting me and meeting with my family? Asking for my hand?" She counted off restlessly. "Those things are fundamentals of a sincere, life-long relationship. No wonder purebloods can't satisfy each other. They assume everything is easily attainable and rightfully theirs."
"And what does that have to do with you?" He questioned.
"Everything, you jackal." She spat.
"Is there a rule book about relationships? Let me take a look at it."
"There is one actually." She beamed.
"I wish to burn it." Kaname monotonously sliced. "There shouldn't be a written word defying I can't have you. Your respected parents appreciate my interests, and you, Ms. Elusively Self-Centered will put barges of nuisance laws and ideas between us."
"Don't blame it all on me. Whose brilliant idea was it to let the horses go and get stranded outside in winter?"
"You want heat?" His eyes blazed as his tugged her violently in the column of his body. "I should be enough."
She raised her fists to push him off but a noxious emotion unrolled from her insides and she shuddered in the seductive heat of his frame loudly, surprising both. Dodging him she averted her blushing face. "This is not what it looks like. We need to find the horses quickly, not be trapped in each other's embrace for no reason."
"I see one perfectly good reason." Kaname breathed over her face.
"A condemning reason!" She wrestled in his tightening arms.
He yanked her face back, smoothed the hair fluttering around her rouge cheeks. "Oh, Airin..." He mouthed, feeling his heart inside of his throat. "This sort of thing can't be hidden forever. Our families will be proud. Yours will be rewarded for life and I'll cherish you—"
"Let's cherish the horses first who're lost in someone else's fields." Her lavender eyes narrowed behind a stream of silver braids.
"They'll survive."
"But I'll get in trouble."
"Can they trust a young woman to find horses in the thicket of the night?"
"They trust this girl who isn't afraid of the dark or some makeshift idiot."
His eyes narrowed as if the pupils were seconds from disappearing behind their lids. "You know that mouth of yours-"
"Let me go, will you?" She fidgeted.
"Ought to do other things besides talking." He moved to make his point but she jerked back with a strangled gasp.
"Not now, not here!" Airin cried desperately, shooting surveys over the landscape. "I'll be burned to death if I someone sees."
Kaname only clenched his grip around her bodice. "Don't you have faith in me?"
"If arrows are good for the heart I don't see why not."
"I won't let you down."
"It's not about being let down, ah! Oh dear, you don't—don't look so agonized. I-I didn't mean that. I trust you with my life. I-I'll do anything to make it real. Fight fire at the stake and take snakebites in the lake, I assure you. It-it's not just about us but our families. Once I can convince them about our plans, we'll be fine." She brushed his collar and looked up delicately. "Don't you trust me?"
His response was in the slow release of his arms as he stepped back. "There's no doubt about how much I trust you. You have all of me, not just my name."
Airin leapt for his white hand and squeezed it. "That's right, Kaname. You remind me so easily why I adore you."
Kaname locked her hands instead, flinging her forward. She fell with her shoulders against his chest, face dumped in the cushioning silk and wool coat. "Then marry me."
She trembled first and stared softly. Her lavender eyes flushed with questions and doubts, thoughts tucked in a haze of disbelieving fear. Looking so flawlessly pure and statuesque with the moonlight caught in her white hair, her eyes held onto his for as long as her sugary breath festered out of her nose.
Then she lost sensation in both legs and slumped loudly on the ground. Kaname barely caught her and righted her but she brushed him away nervously.
"I-I don't know what to say." Airin quivered.
"It's not a hard question." He replied.
"No. It's a big question." She nodded.
"You can have anything you want. Your family will be debt free and your relatives will have the pleasure of receiving the best medical services. Not to mention your younger cousins will become prospective royalty. Airin, the world will be at your feet and you'll have me. All of me by your side..."
"Forever?" She hopefully panted.
Kaname cradled the back of her head. "Can't I have you forever?"
φ
"And what are your reactions toward the lessons?" Akemi asked her dear daughter-in-law.
The young woman was whiter than the marble walls. Her flushed eyes lapped from the sugar canteen to the biscuit saucer irregularly. Akemi glanced at the tray and beckoned a maid to deliver the snacks.
"You must be hungry. Being locked inside studying isn't healthy. Take strolls and visit the market." She counseled.
The maid stacked more biscuits on a plate for the pureblood princess.
Rather than accepting the offer Yuki unhooked her fingers from her skirt and grabbed a cup of tea in her lap, never averting from her reflection in the rim. The maid softly retreated to the side.
Akemi hovered her in dispelled expectation.
"The techniques..." Yuki managed through weak vocal cords.
The briefest thought of what was taught behind doors of her quarters was astounding. She couldn't believe what tools and unique interactions required when squaring away the basics. The information dispensed was exalting and it was her responsibility to apply them appreciatively. What hell had Akemi unleashed? How could Yuki—inexperienced, docile—have the verve and inspiration to play it out? She was horribly intimidated and scandalized.
"You like them?" Akemi grinned. "Go over them with the maids and you'll be fine."
"I'm not a harlot!" She barked.
Akemi straightened alertly. "Pardon?"
Yuki cupped her mouth and swallowed the terse yearning to explode before her queen. She hadn't known newly married ladies were educated under the special direction of bedroom decorum. The kind enacted between a man and woman. The subject was not taken lightly at the palace, she realized. It was obligatory to ensure her cooperation in the department. She might as well just lie there while he did all the work.
She gagged in her hand. What was it they said to do? Dance enticingly until all her clothes discarded, one by one. Be subtle and shy and once she was in his arms, there was no going back. Men of this country were bold and meticulous receivers of their objectives.
I'll chop my head off before I ever, ever throw myself at Kaname.
Besides he was more advanced and experienced. Meaning all ploys and special enactments ought to be voided. She was certain her dancing exotically wouldn't have any appeal. He'd rather throw coins at the brothel if he wanted. His own wife chiseling corner stones pitifully just to entice him to bed was extremely pathetic.
She shouldn't have to work hard to make him want it—want her, of course.
"Why do I have to learn sexual techniques? He knows already and doesn't need a revisit." Yuki claimed.
Akemi slammed her teacup. "This is where you're wrong. And only a woman with my knowledge can guide you closer to him. Men need temptation. That's what keeps them coming back. Don't give yourself completely to him. The trick is to leave hints and beckon him. You're only accentuating what a desirable catch you are. And he'll reaffirm that you are indeed his. Do you know what that means?" Akemi mysteriously narrowed her eyes. "When a man realizes a woman is solely his he'll go to any lengths to have her. That's all you need to do, Yuki. Let him know yo—"
Yuki cringed even more and skewed off her seat, head sagging over the armrest to flush out vomit.
"Stop overacting." Akemi scowled.
She recomposed and marked her with a ruthless stare. "What if I refuse?"
I'll cut your throat if you do. Akemi gradually reached for her cup once more and sampled the warm liquid. "Dear," She began with slipping self-control, "I'm telling you this for your own good. You wouldn't want Kaname to wander."
"I understand your intentions," Yuki waved her palm, "Kaname and I have agreed not to take our relationship further. We have nothing to prove to one another."
The appalled queen sat with her mouth dangling. The tea spilled over her skirt. She cried out, screaming for a maid. "Damn, this hot tea! Bring me a towel."
Yuki watched with no interest while the matter settled. She hadn't the faintest desire to participate in the lessons, much less act on them. Her luck with her dear mother-in-law regarding the subject was not about to change. She would rather be stuck in mud than delve more.
Two maids opened the suite doors and dropped into an elegant bow. "Your highness, Ousama and Ouji-sama are entering the room."
Akemi only nodded with a light grin as she noticed Yuki shuffle with her veil. She had requested Yuki to discard the item when they were alone but Yuuki's desire to enshroud in mystery from her husband had not been quelled and it appeared, it wouldn't be quelled for a long time. A violent fear whirled inside of Akemi's chest. Though she was a proper princess was she suitable for the crown and Kaname in the end?
She doesn't want to win his heart. Why is she against it?
"Oh, Akemi dear." Ken swept into the room. His voice boomed like thunder and his large herculean frame halted next to her settee. Away from the court's presence and servants, he sought it appropriate to grab her thin hand and kiss it. Ken retreated and took his designated chair.
The faint shadow flicking at the corner of Yuki's right eye brightened each second. Kaname's black coat glistened in the light and he drifted in his seat beside his silent wife, setting one arm on the rest, a finger under his chin and wavering eyes scrutinizing the saloon.
"Akemi, we've just come from an interesting conversation. I alerted Kaname the importance of making his marriage official. It's only right they put aside this platonic agreement and get closer." Ken waved his fingers at Yuki and Kaname.
Akemi nodded, "That is the whole focus of the lessons—"
Yuki's head snatched up in indignation.
"Yes, Yuki?" Akemi leaned forward.
Her fingers clenched against her skirt as she gritted, "The lessons—I don't wish to participate in them."
Akemi stirred in her seat and looked upon her husband for suggestions. Ken sighed and shook his head. "Every new bride had to attend the lessons. The tradition can not be dismissed."
"Yuki, newly married purebloods are pressured to consummate and bring heirs. Kaname was a single child. He has no cousins that are second in line to the throne." Akemi inputted slowly. "I apologize for being forceful but I had to attend them when I first came to the palace."
"Joousama, please don't apologize." Yuki bowed her head.
"Let her apologize." Kaname cut in out of nowhere. His passionate eyes zoomed on his surprised mother. "Our scheming queen locked us in freezing quarters all night so we'd have no choice but to consummate—after I told her we will not share quarters."
"Kaname!" Akemi gasped.
Ken stirred from his position and cleared his throat, "Kaname, it's not fair to put the blame on your mother."
His eyes narrowed crudely. "I'll put the blame on you then."
Ken blinked between the younger couple. "You are married, why not consummate?" He abruptly demanded. "One day you'll have to bequeath these conditions and come together. Why evade it?"
"That does not mean you can ignore my request and put us in one room. She is not ready." Kaname added on Yuki's behalf. "Why would I consummate with an insecure girl, much less produce heirs with her?"
Yuki froze, she was sure her teeth cracked from clenching too hard. Insecure?
"Hold your tongue, Ouji." Akemi warned. "Producing heirs isn't the only thing we want the two of you to achieve."
"Ah," Kaname waved a digit mockingly, "You mean, a sustainable marriage for the crown?"
Ken rubbed his temple with closed eyes. "That is not a—"
"You may have plenty reasons for locking us in a room, coaxing us to consummate or making Yuki attend those embarrassing lessons that make her uncomfortable but we also have our reasons for not taking the marriage further. If I find you temper with our sleeping conditions or make Yuki attend those sessions again I'll impregnate a low-level and make her my wife. The crown will have the heir you want."
"Disrespecting us won't get you anywhere!" Akemi cried.
"Kaname, don't take the situation lightly." Ken sliced, "Producing a pureblood heir for the crown can not be forgone. At the appropriate time you will both need to take responsibility. We will not push you but we do expect your cold-shouldering one another to stop at once. If it does not, take my word for it I will annul this marriage."
Akemi gasped under her hand. "Ken, how could y—"
He hadn't looked away from Kaname. "Before you take preposterous actions to show your arrogance remember whom you represent. Weren't it for your mother and I, Kaname, you wouldn't be our son. Yuki—"
The princess turned cautiously at her name.
"You are our daughter now." Ken pointed authoritatively. "You represent us and will hold more responsibility within the passing months. Your father approved the marriage believing you were the best candidate for our family and Kaname's mate. And you—" He reverted to his son. "Make Yuki's comfort your priority."
"If I hadn't considered her comfort I would have forced her in bed already." Kaname gnawed between fangs.
Yuki battled with herself from slapping him.
φ
"She seems nervous." Juuri sighed at her comb in the lamplight. Shadows crawled across walls as she swung in her chair toward Haruka. His silhouette was tucked behind the netting. From her seat she could only distinguish the light color of his shirt and a wrist cropped on top of his forehead, a habit that followed when he was tensed. Juuri pulled away from her desk and wandered to the side of the bed.
She lifted the net and crawled inside, stopping beside Haruka who hadn't moved from his lounging position.
"Are you awake?" Juuri leaned forward in inspection.
He winked an eye open lazily and closed it. "Juuri, was it a good idea to begin with?"
"She'll be fine. I don't understand why you're still unnerved?" Juuri murmured, with her hair hanging around her shoulders and cheeks.
"I'm happy she wrote us a letter but she sounds lonely." Haruka sat up on the pillows. "Should we go visit her?"
His wife stiffened and shook her head. "No. It'll be harder for her to let us go if we do. This is the time for her to start depending on her husband. She has a new family. I'm sure they won't neglect her."
"I know what you're saying but..." Haruka sighed listlessly. "She is used to having things her way. It would've been easier if she weren't living in a different country. You merely moved between palaces, Juuri. Yuki, on the hand, had to leave the land she grew up in."
Juuri brushed his hair locks away from his temples. "Thank you, Haruka, for loving our daughter as much as you do."
He blinked uncertainly and moved away from her caressing hand. "Why am I being thanked?"
She beamed quietly. "I am just happy that you are mine."
φ
"Yuki." Akemi hovered the doorway to her room.
She lowered the articles on the desk and turned with a soft bow toward her mother-in-law. "Yes, Joousama?"
Akemi pulled her chin higher to peer in her eyes through the veil. "I am sorry for being harsh in there."
"You weren't harsh and there's nothing to be sorry about." Yuki adjusted her veil. "I can see Ousama's concerns clearly now. The conversation helped me understand the weight of our marriage and what's expected of me."
"Even though he said all that, Yuki, I don't want you to be hard on yourself." Akemi squeezed her fingers. "Please, don't be afraid to tell me if you're uncomfortable. Kaname was impulsive because I irritated him from an earlier occurrence."
Yuki stilled in thought, "Occurrence? Oh, you mean putting us together in one bedroo—"
"No." Akemi hesitantly looked away. "It's a sensitive matter involving his past. He resents probing."
"Then I'm sure he'll understand you're just worried about him."
Akemi narrowly observed Yuki's kind eyes. "Don't be afraid to get close to him. Judging by his reaction in the parlor he's still not over it. I hope he opens up to you soon."
Yuki gently shook her head, "You shouldn't worry about these things. You can't force a bud to bloom in a day. It takes nurturing and time. Kaname is the same."
Akemi beamed at the princess. "Then it's settled. I leave the matter to you." As Yuki tried to unweave her hands back, Akemi snatched it brutally, caught by the sound of bones cracking from the grip. Yuki noticeably turned rigid and held her frantic eyes. "Don't turn away from him when you do find out. Just don't—" Pleadingly, she pressed Yuki's hands together. "Please, don't hate him. He was young and he didn't know better. Let his anguish absolve quietly."
"J-Joousama?" Yuki fretfully quivered. "My hands—"
"Please, Yuki." Akemi whispered. "Forgive him for my sake."
After acquiescing the queen's request, Yuki treaded into the garden and sat down on the grass. Alone and surrounded by meadows of roses and jasmines she sighed under her breath so softly it was almost unnoticeable. Her mind blanked, any thought she tried to seep swiftly fleeted and she sat searching the sky with puzzled but forlorn eyes.
What exactly was she referring to? After an intense scrutiny at the universe above, Yuki asked herself. What kind of past did Kaname have that makes him irritated and guarded?
φ
Once under a rainy night, an unsuspected prince and a maiden secretly met.
"It's not fair to me if you hold back."
She averted and turned to leave.
"I want to marry you." He announced resolutely. "I want to have you as my wife."
The maiden clenched her fists and whirled back to her prince. "Don't be mad!"
He ensnared her automatically in his embrace, covering her shivering body that drenched from the falling rain and whispered against her temple. "Airin, don't be afraid. Focus on me. On being with me only and no one else. I promise nothing will go wrong."
"Your words are very comforting." She murmured against his collar. "I'm afraid this kind of thing is impossible for me."
He held her tighter and she shivered more. "I won't let another man have you." Kaname vowed.
Airin struggled and pushed out of the chasm of his embrace, her lavender eyes cold and warm at the same time. "You are not the one to make that decision, my family holds that right."
"They won't reject us." Kaname insisted.
Her eyes narrowed in opposition and she glanced away. "Let me go."
Through the cold rain his hand caught her chin with long warm fingers. "Tell me you don't want to be with me." Kaname peered in her screaming eyes. "Tell me you can bear living without me. I want to hear you."
Yet she gnawed her lips between her fangs and spat vehemently. "Stop it this instance!" Forcefully wrenching out of his arms, she growled, "Purebloods—I'm not your puppet."Airin dashed across the muddy footpath toward her residence.
Dodging rain, she ducked around the flimsy wooden stalls and darted through the narrow lane of the stable. A good half-mile ahead stood her abode, brimmed with her poor family who slept on floors and carried on with incurable diseases.
"I don't want to be with you." Airin muttered as she crept the footpath of her home. "I can live without you. I'm not your puppet."
"Airin!" Her father looked taken aback at the sight of his daughter drenched from the rain from the courtyard. "What're you doing out? Get inside and dry off. Hurry!" He beckoned.
She shuffled inside obediently. "I'm very sorry. I was out by the stable with the horses. I wanted to make sure the doors were locked."
"They were locked, I made sure." He scanned the plowed lands not far on the right and lingered at the door for a moment longer. "Airin, your uncle is not doing well."
She quickly dried her hair with a towel and took her place next to the burning hearth. "How frightening." She breathed, "What will we do?"
He sighed at her and whispered. "He wants to see you one last time. Go and stay with him for a short while."
Her working hands turned stiff and she rotated on the floor to meet her father's apologetic eyes. "What're you saying, you want me to leave home right now?"
"As soon as possible." He nodded. "The situation is time sensitive. There is a-uh suitor for you there." Her father worded delicately, vigilante of her expression. "Take this chance to meet him. If your aunt approves your match you should consider the marriage and live there."
Twice under the rainy night, the prince and the maiden met.
He was standing by the shed with folded arms with no intention of leaving the perimeter of her home. She couldn't help but wonder what benefited from waiting aimlessly in the rain instead of returning to the luxury of the palace. What fool would waste his time?
He looked up at his lover longingly. As she drew closer with each step, he straightened to his full height. It was still raining and her family was tucked in bed. She reeked of tears and fear from sneaking out by herself. "I will take care of you." He said to his lover.
She only smiled in a daze. "I know you will." Airin fell in his arms.
In the cold rain they stood silent. She dissolved completely in his warmth. With his breath in her wet hair Kaname pressed her firmly against him, afraid she would break apart if he were to let go. She clung to his clothes and hid her face on his shoulder.
"Why are you scared?" Kaname whispered in the teeming rain.
"Of leaving my family." She said secretly to his skin.
"They will be fine." He brushed her head gently. "I can always abdicate and come live here."
Swiftly she shoved away and rasped, "Don't you dare."
Kaname's long arms stayed craned around her back. "I won't abdicate if you marry me."
Her eyes softened. "A common vampire and a pureblood prince—This sort of thing doesn't happen. Our families won't be able to adjust."
"In time they will." He comforted.
"In time..." She sighed. "In time..."
φ
A/N: Airin's character is based on the hooded woman from Kaname's past.
© Nur Misurr ● Read and Review ● Thank you.
