A/N: Strangley enough, I intended for this to be only slightly humorous, but it definitely escalated into something I enjoy writting light hearted comedic moments into.

Thanks as always for the reviews and support guys. Lol some of you just let me know how much you like it and that's a fucking awesome feeling. And some have been giving me pretty solid advice. So thanks to all(:

Next chapter will hopefully introduce a character or two. Also, if you like the Naruto and Gaara Duo, I got something a little more serious(and wayy darker) I've been writting. "Interview with a Dead Girl" check it out.

Read, Review, and (hopefully) enjoy.

xXx

Earlier that day

"You know. I don't think this is a good idea. Just putting that out there." Gaara was busy picking through a book Ayame had brought him as he and Naruto waited for Tenten to arrive be with their clothes.

"How so?" Naruto asked. Busying himself by pacing ever so diligently across the small loft.

"I mean, don't get me wrong. I like bombs as much as the next assassin. But can't we just kill her and be done with it? I'm not in the mood for a chase. And it's not like the Anbu even know where we are."

'Though it would be a waste. The girl was, if nothing, easy on the eyes.'

Naruto pauses his walk to consider this, bringing a thoughtful hand to his chin as he looked out across the street at their targets residence.

"How can you be so sure about this? I just think an egress plan is more practical if she's not the one."

"And how are you going to clarify that exactly? Read her mind?" Gaara put his book down to study the same scene as Naruto. "And since when the hell did you become so rational??"

"I'll just... ask her some questions? I don't know, I haven't thought much about it."

"Shocker."

"Shut up. Something about all this just feels... wrong. Her death, our suspect, a fucking nightclub? I'm letting Shikamaru know it's a go."

"If you get blown up again don't come crying to me..."

"One time Gaara! One time I lose my eyebrows and you hold it over me or the rest of my life?"

"Nope. It was just nice to know you knew my struggle for once."

"... oh yeah."

xXx

"Make yourselves at home guys." Choji Ackimichi directed the group to a rather large break room in the back of his restaurant. Equipped with two large couches, a couple tv's and of course a large round dining table with plenty of chairs. "I like my workers to be happy, so this room is a little more extra than what most expect. Go ahead and go crazy, just don't break anything." Choji said as he placed a full plate of fish tacos and a pitcher of beer down at the table. Naruto trailing behind him with cups and Shikamaru with linen for everyone.

Choji was a fairly large man. Stand firm at about 6 foot, the man was easily 250 plus pounds of humble cook. The restaurant they all found themselves in was the result of plenty of years of dedication and patience.

"Thanks big guy, me and Gaara owe you a favor somethin huuuuge."

"I trust you'll keep that favor in mind when I'm ready to expand?"

"Is that even a question?" Naruto hugged the large man. "I've been waiting for you to start another Ackimichis for a fucking year now!"

"Glad to hear it." The man let out a thunderous laugh. "It was good seeing you both." Looking between Shikamaru and Naruto. "And of course my best customer." He said, eyeing Gaara in amusement as he made quick work of four tacos at the table.

"Same brother. Thanks for having us." Shikamaru shook his hand and the man prepared to leave.

"The shops closed tomorrow, so just be sure to lock up when you leave. I should really get home before the wife loses her shit."

"Peace." Naruto waved the man out as everyone gratefully got situated around the room.

"Don vake me before tree." Gaara waved up two wobbly fingers at Naruto while mouthing through a mouth full of fish taco. Whether it was meant to be a peace sign or a failed 3, Naruto would never know. Climbing lazily across a long couch, Gaara's head eventually found refuge in Tenten's lap. The rest of his taco plopping unceremoniously on the ground.

"Um, excuse you. Do I know you, sir?" Tenten teased. Giving up however on her banter however when she found he was fast asleep in seconds. Taking to rubbing a hand in small circles on his back rather than bother waking him. "When did he even drink that much?"

'This is strange... even for him. I've never seen him so much as space out, let alone sleep.'

"Probably as soon as you woke him up after taking a couple rounds to the chest. Just let him be, he usually only sleeps like three nights a week anyway." Naruto stated.

"That can't be healthy." Shikamaru muttered as he took a bite of his own taco.

"What isn't healthy, is if his stupid tacos gets on my dress. It took me forever to pick this out, and I'd hate to have to kill him over it."

Ino gave the brunette a long quizzical look from the couch opposite of her.

"Did you dress up all nice just to come ruin my establishment?" She paused to look down at Gaara who currently slept wide-mouthed and unmoving. "Or perhaps you wanted to get dolled up for your gentleman of a boyfriend?"

'Strange, at first sight, I thought he was more suave than this. Alcohol and him must really not agree.' Ino thought to herself.

"He's not my boyfriend! He's my boss..." Her face flared at the sudden comment, the ground suddenly became a lot more interesting as she avoided Ino's gaze entirely.

"He makes you call him boss huh? And I thought Naruto was the weird one." Shikamaru chimed in.

"No, it's not like that at all-"

"So what does he call you then? Employee or somethin? That seems bland." This time Naruto was the one to question the odd relationship. "Or oooh "Miss Manager!? I guess that's kinda sexy."

"Naruto. Shut. Up-"

"Well aren't you her boss also, Naruto?" Shikamaru's face was open with shock at his realization. "Don't tell me she treats you both like that?!"

"Shikamaru I just met you, don't make me hate you already-"

"No no no, don't get me mixed up in their crazy sex escapades." Naruto replied. He and Shikamaru both steadily ignoring Tenten's cries of discomfort with the topic.

"Sex escapades?!"

"Well it's better than that "Daddy" trend the kids are into these days, now that's unhealthy." Shikamaru and Naruto both seemed to agree on this as they ate peacefully at the table in the break room, nodding heads at each other's brash assumptions.

"Yeah, I can't really see Gaara demanding that much respect-"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!! UGH!" Tenten's outburst earned her a wide toothed smile from Naruto, a lazy glare of acknowledgment from Shikamaru and strangely enough a scoff of what seemed like laughter from Ino.

"Jesus it's like you two are God damn children-"

"Baby." Gaara, still very much asleep, shifted his torso higher to cradle Tenten's lower half with both arms as he nuzzled his head against her stomach. "Too loud." Tenten looked down at him in shock and then around the room, mouth agape in slight horror. His tamgled locks still in her hands as he got comfortable.

"I-I swear he never calls me that!" She spurt out.

'He's. So. Close.' Tenten's typically bronze complexion heated to match Gaara's unruly red.

"Baby, huh? How basic." Ino held a genuine smile at the scene as she fought back laughter.

"Gaara you sly dog! Way to tell your friends? A Hole." Naruto proposed a toast to the man across from him. "To them!" as he and Shikamaru washed down the remainder of their food. "He's lucky this dinosaur flip phone doesn't take photos."

Tenten merely leaned her head against the couch in defeat. What's worse is that the Nara and Ino had met her only today and they were already making fun of her mercilessly.

'You would choose now of all times to show me some attention? Jerk.'

"Just tell me where the first aid kit is, assholes." Tenten lifted Gaara's head up carefully as she stood up. "I need to wrap his torso up, those shots probably did a number on him."

"Man I wish Sakura was that caring... try the pantry over there." Naruto said, jabbing a thumb in its direction.

Tenten swiftly got to work putting a tight compress on Gaara after finding the for-mentioned Med kit amongst the dozens of snacks and seasonings in the pantry. Stopping only once she was satisfied the the complex patch job around the man's upper body. She took back her spit back after all was done and a very grateful/passed out Gaara took her waist back in between his arms.

"So how do you know Choji anyway? I was surprised you even knew what Ackimichis was. Let alone frequented here." Shikamaru asked Naruto on the other side of the room.

"HAH! Small world Shika, me and Gaara own about a third of this place. We funded his startup two years ago, and it's one of the best investments we ever made." He gave a nod to the mentioned redhead. "Plus, that A Hole is picky beyond all belief. But if Choji puts something in front of him, he's eatin."

"Interesting. I grew up with him, he was one of my best friends through college. Strange that he never met sunshine over there." He jabbed a thumb in Ino's direction.

"My name is Ino. You know this."

"Yes ma'am, Mrs. Boar."

"Shika... don't make me hurt you."

"So sunshine." Naruto interrupted. "What can you tell me about who would want Tsunade dead?

Ino sauntered over to there table, taking a seat for herself in between the both of them. Doing her best to tame her boiling anger. Sunshine? Who the hell where they. If they continued to antagonize her they'd soon find out how much of a blazing ball of fire her anger could actually be.

"Are you asking for my opinion? Or what's more likely?" She said stifly.

Naruto placed his mug on the counter and regarded her with a smile.

"Whatever you got beautiful."

"Watch yourself Uzumaki..." Ino took one of the tacos Shikamaru offered her. "She had me put down men in Danzo's organization. So smartest bet says him."

"What do we even know about that guy anyway? All I know is he was grandma's second in command."

"He's my husband's boss. That's reason enough to kill him." Ino took her own mug and filled it up with the pitcher on the table.

"...relationship problems?"

"Men are assholes."

"Oh. Well. Yeah... sorry. Feel like elaborating or?-"

"You're an asshole too."

"Noted." Naruto nervously got back to eating. "She's all yours Shika."

"It never really made much sense to me... Danzo is a Konoha official, so I can't really understand her motive. Maybe she thought Danzo was a threat to her life?" Ino questioned.

"Maybe." Naruto paused. "But if she even had the slightest notion that he might be a threat to her or Konoha, she'd have him put down like a dog."

"So then what's the angle here?" Shikamaru asked. "I'm not convinced Danzo's approach would be this transparent. What do you think?" He asked Ino.

"I think... I think we have to consider the possibility that Danzo isn't the only factor at work here. Or maybe not our guy at all. Sai has broken contact with me since this morning, I think a few choice words with him can set us on the right track."

"I'm not chasing after your hubby unless I have too. Kill him on your own time. Now pay attention because I got some good fucking questions for you Ino." Naruto said. "Just how did the Anbu know we'd be at your place?" His face was cold as he folded on arm under the other.

Silenced ensued as she weighed her options. To tell him the truth? Or deflect his suspicions in hopes of keeping their thin bond of trust.

"I tipped them off. Of course, I didn't know what threat was coming my way. But I figured if the Anbu cased my club and found nothing, then my name would definitely be clear." She said, a tense hand twirling her long blonde locks.

"And how'd that work out for you?" Shikamaru scoffed.

"Well, I didn't know a gaggle of assholes were coming to ruin a pretty solid plan!-"

"One more question." Naruto still sat tensely in his chair as he thought over her confession. "Who told you to stop by my coffee shop this morning."

"... I chose it myself-"

"BULLSHIT!" Naruto slammed his hands on the table, restraining a yell as best he could. "That kinda shit doesn't just happen."

"Jariya. Jariya asked me too."

"...What?"

"Jariya called me personally that morning and told me where to go and what to order."

"Now that's strange..." Naruto sat back down, rubbing the back of his head with both hands as his mind reached for answers.

"Believe me if you want, but I didn't find it too strange. He treats her every now and then, sends flowers to her office, visits on lunch breaks, the works."

"That might be true, but the old man knows better than to come to my shop for anything if it's for her." Naruto said.

Ino's brow furrowed in confusion. "But you're practically her son, why wouldn't she visit as often as possible?"

"She wasn't exactly ecstatic when Iruka became a cop instead of one of her agents." It was Shikamaru this time that explained. "And She was even less enthused when her favorite quit to run a coffee shop of all things. The more important question is why Jariya would do that?"

"Maybe he was sending a message?" Ino suggested.

"Doesn't do us any favors, it's guaranteed that he's in hiding by now. Hm."

"Then what's our next lead." Ino directed the question at both men.

"I'm not the man to ask. But I know who is, her bodyguard. He failed, and I want to know how, and why." Naruto said, words laced with conviction.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru stood to go take his own spot on a now empty couch. "You mean that old pervert don't you."

"Bingo. I don't think we're getting far without Kakashi-"

"Hey, dick! That's my spot!" Ino shouted as she abruptly shoved a half asleep Shikamaru off the couch.

"Damn Ino...Yeah, whatever. We'll figure this out in the morning." Shikamaru took his own blanket and passed out on the ground before any more could be said.

"I don't suppose you want to make room on that couch beautiful-"

A fit of laughter was all Naruto got in response as he begrudgingly took his own space on the floor.

'And to think I thought she was incapable of laughter... maybe Tuesday won't be so shitty.'

xXx

'Man was I wrong.'

"Naruto-"

"Noooope. I refuse."

"Stop being a fucking brat."

"You stop being an annoying little shit! I'm NOT calling him."

"You're the one who wants to break Kakashi out of a fucking jail then you're the one who has to make some fucking calls."

"But-"

"But nothing! Just do it."

"But Sasuke is such an asshole."

Naruto and Gaara have been arguing in stride for what felt like hours. Sasuke Uchiha, a mutual friend of the two was the only in they had at the jail Kakashi had been placed in. The Uchiha Compound was built like a fortress and had been run by the family for generations, taking in the countries most dangerous convicts and locking them away from the free world. For a hefty tax from the state of course.

"Can you ladies figure something out? You're bickering is giving me a headache." Shikamaru rolled over in his position on the floor and fell fast asleep once more in the early morning.

"Agreed. It's not even 7 yet and you've already got Gaara grumpy." Tenten made her way to the men with two cups of coffee in hand. "Here." She placed the redhead down a cup before sitting with the two at the table.

"Thanks. This hangover might literally kill me."

"Hey! Where's mine?" Naruto asked rather whiningly.

"Naruto. You don't get anything. You can pour your own for being such an asshole last night."

Naruto's groaned as he got up to do just that. Gaara took sips at his cups hot contents.

"What'd he do anyway? I don't remember much past getting in the car."

"Um. That's probably for the better, you were a bit of a handful last night. Lightweight." Tenten said, sticking her tongue out endearingly.

Tenten had woken earlier to escape Gaara's grasp. He'd surprisingly taken the role as big spoon pretty easily, but Tenten wasn't quite ready to let him know they'd been sleeping together so naturally.

'I don't need to go inflating his ego at a time like this... even though it was kind of amazing being so close for once.'

"I'm a cheap date, there's no shame in that."

"I suppose-"

"No shame in you being little spoon either." Gaara sipped coyly as Tenten's face dropped. "Hope you didn't mind me too much... I wasn't quite myself."

"You remember?!"

"As if I'd forget something like that. You know." Gaara took another long sip. "You drool a little in your sleep."

"Why you little shit!"

"Hush! It's ringing." Naruto returned with antique phone and coffee in hand. "I swear to god if he sends me to voicemail, I'll kick that duck haired ass bitch's-"

"This is Uchiha Sasuke's line, state your business." Sasuke answered on the other line.

"Heyyy buddy. Got a sec?"