For muentiger.
Chapter 6: How the hell did I lose my best friend?
It worked. Prongs was confused. Lily somewhat insulted.
"Morning, Black." Snape came up to the Gryffindor table. James shot him the ugliest of glares.
"Calm down, Prongs." I growled at him. Lily just went on to ignore him.
"Hi, Snape."
"Will you indulge me in a walk?"
"Do I have to?" I moaned, knowing it would infuriate James to have Snape here longer.
"Yes." Snape snapped. Ooh, alliteration. At that moment Moony entered the Great Hall. Looking as bad-ass as ever. A cocky grin lined his face, until he saw me. For a second he paused, uncertain, then he stepped forward, avoiding my eyes – making sure our two friends would notice it.
"Morning Lily, James, Severus." He greeted everyone once reaching the table.
"Hi."
"Morning."
"Toenail clipping." He nodded at me.
"Morning, Remus. Sleep well?" I asked. He glowered at me and went on duly helping himself to breakfast.
"Black?"
"Fine, I'm coming." I said, annoyed. I held out a hand to Snape – clearly sending the message that he should help me up.
"You cannot be serious?" He asked, eyeing my hand. I grinned, he didn't realize the pun.
"Of course I am."
Snape looked at me, not registering my joke.
"I'm Serious Black." I explained. Snape looked at me for a whole minute, fighting a laugh – I could tell. He just reached forward and took my hand, helping me up.
We walked out of the Great Hall, side by side, hands, thankfully, not touching.
"That pun was unintended." Snape said.
"Oh, I know." I grinned. "But it was there, no matter."
"Did you see how Potter looked at me?"
"Yeah. I reckon he's mighty jealous of our newfound friendship."
"I thought you updated it to lovers since you held out your hand."
I stopped. Was he joking or being serious?
"I doubt you'd want to be known as my lover, Snape." I said, gathering my bearings and continuing to walk.
"Oh, but maybe it's just that push we need to make them blow their caps."
"Are you serious?" I asked, my mouth hanging open.
"No… you are?" He said, a tad confused. That time I actually did laugh.
"That was an intended pun." He smirked.
"You know, Snivelly, if you weren't aligned with Voldy already, I reckon you'd make a fine Order member."
He glared at me, going in instant from niceguy to Snarly-guy-who-hates-my-guts.
"You don't know anything Black!"
"I know enough." I said, taking a step forward. "And you aren't as high-and-mighty as you claim to be."
His eyes flitted to the hall of the Great Hall – Lily and James just exited. They spotted us and quickly hid themselves.
"Oh, great, now I look like I'm in a relationship with you." I said, groaning.
"Get used to it." He said, pinching my nose. I suppressed the urge to both throw up and hurtle him into next year.
"Sirius?" James had plucked up the courage and made his way over.
"Yeah?"
"What are you doing with… him…?" He threw his head in the air slightly, looking down at Snape.
"We're so obviously chatting." Snape sneered (alliteration again), putting an arm around my shoulders.
"Get your hands off him!" James warned, his eyes clouding over.
"Now, Potter, tell me why I would want to do that?" Snape teased – he sure had determination. "You were trying to set him up with Remus, thus we decided to make it public."
"Public?" James and I said it at the same time. Snape was going to do it without my consent!
"Yes, Black, public." He smirked again.
"And what, pray tell, are you going to make public?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Snape sneered, drawing me away from James. James' mouth fell open. What the bloody hell was that all about?
"Ew, Snape, no… just…" I pushed him away, feeling the vomit in the back of my throat.
"Admit it. It's a good idea. Both you and Remus can go missing for hours on end, and they would assume that you are with me, while Remus is sulking."
"That makes Remus sound pathetic."
"Do you know how long I was sulking after Lily told me to sod off?"
I considered his question. "A long while?"
"Black, I'm still sulking."
I appraised him. He seemed so different than he usually did. Yes, he sneered and snapped, but he didn't curse me, or at me… He didn't seem like such a git anymore.
"You really love her." I realized, not even trying to catch him out. Snape shot a small smile at me.
"But Potter makes her happy." He said, sighing. "And I wouldn't take her happiness."
"You're so different than I imagined." I said, coming to a stop again.
"Yes, well, never judge a book by his cover."
"I shall try." I promised, falling into step beside him again. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
"I've already talked about it, the proposition of it seeming like we're going out."
"Why you?"
"It's a way to ensure Lily's safety from that oaf."
"Excuse me, Snape, but that oaf happens to be my best friend!" I said, slapping him over the head.
"Well, be that as it may, I am not going to pretend to like him."
"I didn't ask you to, all I'm asking is you do not insult him or any of my other friends in my presence."
"All right, I agree. But in turn you must agree not to taunt me about my allegiance."
"I can't not taunt you, Snape. It's in my blood!"
"Actually, there are hormones in your blood right now."
"That too, but I'm talking about my taunting."
"If I have to make sacrifices, so do you."
"Gosh, we sound like an old couple."
"It's a good thing."
"No, it's not." I snapped, glaring at him.
"What's not a good thing?" Remus popped out of nowhere.
"Me and him acting like an old couple." I said, jabbing my thumb at Snape.
"Actually…"
"Oh, you two already discussed it, did you?"
"My, you think fast."
"So I have to pretend to date Snape?" I asked, outraged.
"Yes." The two of them answered in unison.
Was it worth it? I pulled Remus closer. I looked around to see if anyone was following us – no. I pressed a kiss to his lips, ad waited patiently for him to deepen it,
"Please? Not in front of me?" Snape moaned. I pulled away.
"Okay, Snape, you and I are an item. Gosh, that sounds wrong."
