Chapter 7 Friends

In the end of the afternoon, Dylan and Nikki entered her parents' home again.

When they entered, it seemed that her mum was waiting for them. She noticed also a suitcase in the hallway.

"Ah, there you are. Love, I'm very embarrassed because I forgot to tell you that we were invited to my sister in Gosport for a few days. And now that you both have some free time to spend with us. It wasn't a last minute decision. No, it was already planned for two months. Really, I feel ashamed!", she mumbled nervously.

Nikki looked surprised, "Oh mum, that's not that bad you know. When?"

"Well uh, today. We were at the point to leave. Do you mind?", she asked sadly.

Nikki wrapped her arm around her mum's shouldes, "No mum, enjoy your stay with aunty and give her our greetings", she said.

Her mother's face lit up instantly. "Oh, that pleases me. I was worrying a lot about having to leave you both alone here".

Meanwhile her dad had also arrived. He looked irritated. "Finally", he mumbled.

"No, no, mum, dad, go for it and have fun", she said to encourage them.

"Oh fine!", her mother said by turning around to grab a coat, her handbag and shoes.

Dylan and Nikki waited patiently until they heard the car leaving and then they roared with laughter.

"I think that they would have wanted to leave a tad earlier, but they were stuck here because we've taken their car!", he said with a broad smile.

"Yeah, I think so. But then they should have said something this morning, no?", she said with a shrug.

"Exactly"

"And darling? Do you know what that means?", she asked playfully.

"That we have the house for us alone, you little hotspot!", he replied.

"Yeah! Let's build a gorgeous evening! And I'm going to pull on something else!", she replied before walking to their bedroom.

Nikki had changed her T-shirt and shorts for a short sun-dress with a large cut-out on her back. They had just finished supper and they were enjoying a last glass of wine at the table.

They were talking about the fact how to tell Kate and what to do.

"We have one fact, but Kate didn't give a clue if she knows or not. Can we just pop in and say, 'Hey Kate, do you know what we've seen?'. Tricky uh?", Dylan said.

Nikki sighed, "It's hard, but we have to do that for her. But, let's give her some time to react to our visit. But darling, let's put aside that issue for the moment and let's enjoy our evening. Just the two of us!", she said with a twinkle in her eyes.

Before he could answer, the doorbell rang.

Nikki sighed, "Not now!". She padded to the door to open it.

It was Kate. She looked sad, tired, desperate and vulnerable.

"Oh Kate! What a surprise!", she exclaimed.

Is this the same self-confident commander of the Darwin I met a few weeks ago?

She was seemingly surprised by the joyful reaction of Nikki. She looked at Nikki's sexy dress and started hesitating.

"No, I'm sorry. It's a mistake. I'd better leave. I disturb you. Sorry.", she said gloomily with a lump in her throat, gesturing with her hand and wanted to turn back.

"No, no, Kate, please, come in." Nikki said while she grabbed Kate's shoulder and ushered her inside.

"No, it's a mistake, really, you both have surely somewhat better to do", Kate mumbled.

"No, no, not at all. As a matter of fact we're expecting you."

Honestly, I wanted to do something else. On the other hand, I didn't expect that it would be so quick. Even the same day.

"Is it?", Kate replied faintly

Meanwhile they reached the living room.

"Hey Kate, welcome. A glass of wine or some coffee?", Dylan greeted her enthusiastically.

"A wine will be ok", Kate answered softly.

Now they could have a better look at her. She stood quite forlorn in the living room.

Her eyes were red and puffy and it looked like she had decided to come at the last minute because the items she wore didn't match. Kate had put on a simple sand-coloured cotton dress and had slipped in the first shoes that she saw, a pair of black pumps. Her handbag was the black Navy model that didn't fit at all with the dress. She probably grabbed the first one at hand. Her hair was untied and hung freely over her shoulders.

She collapsed on the couch and it seemed to Dylan and Nikki that she had finally found some rest.

"Here you go", he offered her a glass of wine and put their two glasses on the coffee table.

"Thank you", Kate said accepting the glass. She took a small swig and put it down at the table.

"Kate, take your time," Nikki said and she sat down next to Kate. Dylan sat down in the opposite chair.

"I … I don't know … where to start." She stammered staring at the glasses on the table.

"I'm … at … the end", she said with a sigh and started crying.

"I … I don't … know … anymore…", she sobbed.

Nikki wrapped her arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug.

After a few minutes when she calmed down, Kate took another swig and tried again.

"I'm … I'm so sorry, I'm spoiling your evening", she said drearily.

"Don't worry about that. We are here for you", Dylan replied.

Kate took a deep breath and stroke her hair in her very typical way.

"Since you left this morning I felt miserable. I think that I've cried all day long realising I've chased away my only close friends. Instead of welcoming you, I was dull and blunt. I'm so sorry."

She took another sip.

"Seeing you both happy, I realised once more that my marriage was a mistake even before we were married. Maxine told me I would ruin Mike's career by starting a relation with him because he wanted to give up the Navy for me. The Navy was his life she said. I should have felt guilty if he had to give up his dream for me. I was so stupid to believe her and not to talk about it with Mike. Thus I ended it by myself and I wanted to make something of my life. I bumped into Jim again and I thought it should work with him. Initially it was. He was a distraction of all what I couldn't do and couldn't have with Mike. Moreover Mike pushed me further away with the Ryan affair and his relation with Maxine. But more and more I started to doubt. Even when I tried the wedding dress on I was persuaded that my destiny was with Mike and not with Jim, but Mike had a relation with Maxine again. So a relation with him had become a dream for me. On the other hand, Jim proposed and wanted to give me everything what I wanted. After the explosion of the dirty bomb on that yacht, he and Swain went through the eye of the needle and that day, he begged me almost to marry him. Jim was my only opportunity because Mike was already away. Thus I thought I'd learn to like this life like we have to do it in the Navy. But I couldn't do it. There is not a single day when I didn't think of Mike. "

Kate paused to drink. Nikki and Dylan silenced, processing her story.

She continued, "I really tried. Honestly! I've even adopted his name, Roth, Kate Roth, to get used to it!"

Then she looked at Nikki, "But you didn't huh? You've kept yours?", she asked.

Nikki shrugged, "Well, I'm Nikki Mulholland, but for the Navy, I wanted to stay Caetano. Two Mulhollands was for sure going to cause misunderstandings".

Kate nodded and smile sadly, "Yeah, you're cleverer than me".

She scowled, "I'm playing a role for almost six years now. Do you know how it is to play someone else? And just be yourself when you lie alone in your rack? At the end I didn't know anymore who I was, Kate McGregor or a stranger.

That's why we didn't come to your wedding. Jim insisted, but I refused. I didn't want to hurt me by seeing Mike again. Then I would have had to start all over again…"

She paused to swallow a lump in her throat.

"With regards to children, I've had another nut to crack. Jim can't have children. We made both tests and it turned out that the problem came from him. Another dream which flew away…"

Kate started crying again.

A bit later, she pulled herself together and continued.

"You've seen the house this morning? It's a cage, a fucking, gilded cage. At the end we see each other barely. I'm at sea and when I'm back he's on a mission, like now. He probably will return a few days before I'm boarding again, if I'm lucky. Otherwise, it will be a few days later!"

She took a deep breath and another gulp of wine. Dylan filled her glass again.

"My whole life is a mess, from the beginning. Quarrels in England between mum and dad and once in Australia, these filthy men around my mother and me. I had to do all the household chores, keeping my head cool under my mother's curses and despite all of that I've got my results at school. No fun, no parties. Nothing! Keeping a low profile. Then, the opportunity appeared to escape all this to join the Navy. I enrolled and followed the trainings at ADFA. Here also the nightmare continued. My classmates kept me at distance, I was pestered because my results were always the best. I had to. I had to achieve something, because I had no other choice. It was there that I met Mike. I know it was an impossible affair, he, a superior and me, a Midshipman and a student, but we managed. I felt happy for the first time in my life. And then, all of a sudden he was gone, he left me without saying one word. I was devastated. What have I done wrong? Did we both have the same career expectations? Did I ignore his feelings, I don't know", she rattled.

Kate took another sip.

"A few years later I met him again, on the Hammersley and that's the story you know also. At first, I hated him for what he did to me, but deep inside I still loved him without knowing it. I realised it after he had been hurt in Samaru. And I came back now where it all began. I screwed it up again. Honestly, I wondered several times what I was doing on earth. Everything I touch becomes a mess. Luckily I always have my ship, there I'm happy. There I can show I don't make a mess of everything. All what I do there has to be perfect, just perfect. I cannot fail there too, no, I can't….", she concluded and Kate emptied her glass.

A silence fell on the lounge and Nikki was rubbing Kate's back who was looking gloomily at the glasses, tears blinking in her eyes.

Jesus, what a mess, I had already had that feeling this morning. But that from Maxine and Kate's youth, I didn't know.

"It's ok, you're with us now", Nikki soothed her.

"It's only temporary you know. Within an hour or so it's again the real life", Kate said softly.

"Anyone?", Dylan asked showing the bottle.

Kate nodded, but Nikki shook her head and Dylan filled Kate's and his glass.

"Did you meet Mike again when you came back after the explosion?", Nikki asked.

"No, I didn't, but he tried to phone and to text me. He wanted to talk to me. He even came to my house."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't answer. He was at my front door and I begged him to go away. I couldn't go back anymore", Kate said huskily.

"Oh, Kate! And have you ever known what he wanted to tell you?", Nikki sounded disappointed.

Kate couldn't say anything anymore and shook her head.

"Hmm, I can only guess that it was about what you really desired."

"Oh, great! Make it worse, yes!", she said hurtfully while she tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Kate, about one thing you're wrong", Nikki said.

Kate lifted her head and glanced at her with a frantic was-I-wrong-again-about-something look.

"Mike has no relation with Maxine. I think that was a one-night stand. They are not living together and do not come or leave together. As far as I know he's still single."

Kate nodded and Nikki observed her friend.

Did I really see a sparkle again in these green eyes? Or do I want to see that?

"Thus, there was no relation at the moment I married Jim?", Kate asked suspiciously.

"No Kate, there wasn't. He was still waiting for you", Dylan said

The sparkle was gone and Kate looked as if the ground gave away beneath her feet.

"No ?!", Kate blinked to keep away the tears.

They sipped from their glasses and processed the information just mentioned.

"Kate?", Nikki pushed off uneasily shifting on the couch.

"Hmm?", she stroke her hair.

"It's about Jim. We … uh … saw him yesterday evening at the Cerberus with … uh … someone else", Nikki said prudently.

Instantly she looked startled at Nikki.

"What? What did you say?", she asked huskily.

"He was yesterday at the Cerberus with another woman and he was very gentle with her", Nikki said carefully not knowing how Kate would react.

Kate looked again at the table and just shook her head. "I can't think anymore!", she said softly.

"He's on a mission. Abroad. How? The Cerberus? One of the best in the city. We've never been there together!"

"I have run a check through a mate. He's not on a mission. He's on holidays and he stays at a hotel at the bay to the south of Sydney. I'm sorry Kate." Dylan said.

Kate looked at him as if she saw a ghost.

"This afternoon we drove to there to check that out and it's true. It's a Sandra," Nikki added. Now it was Nikki's turn to receive a ghost glance.

"Well goddamn and I was at home cleaning that bloody, fucking house! We could have been together as well !", Kate exclaimed angrily and took a gulp.

Nikki paused a bit and looked at her friend.

That's the first time I hear her cursing…

"Afterwards we checked out her address and according to a neighbour he comes there already more than a year."

Kate leaned back in the couch and covered her face with her hands.

"A year! More than a year!", she mumbled.

She looked again at Nikki and Dylan and nodded.

"I expected this. Deep in my heart I expected this, but when you hear it directly it's always hard. When I think back to these so called missions when I had shore leave, I don't know what to think. I was doing the housework and left a clean place for them when I went back on board. Awful. My God!"

Kate emptied her glass and gestured to Dylan for another one.

"Ok, ok, I was not the perfect partner, but I never cheated him. But this? Why didn't he talk to me?", she asked after taking another gulp.

Nikki shrugged and Kate looked around like she expected to find the answer in the room.

"What a mess. I don't know where to start", she said while she slumped.

Instantly she straightened her back again, "Luckily I still have my ship. Here I can't make a mess. Just to be perfect. No failures!", Kate said convinced and stroke again her hair.

"Uh, Kate?", Nikki tried to draw her attention again.

"Hmm?"

"In fact here's a problem too", she said unhappily.

"How come? A problem? Not with my ship, uh?", she reacted desperately.

"We know you will always be Princess Perfect, but here you are making a mistake and I'm afraid that this one will cost you your captain's chair."

"No, No, not my ship. They are not going to take my ship! I'm not making a mistake! I'm controlling everything!" Kate said in panic widening her eyes.

"Kate, please listen. Your obsession to be perfect will ruin your career. You want to do everything according to the books so it is not human anymore. You don't have your balance anymore. Your 220 men don't stand behind you anymore. You're alone. You understand? The reason is that you don't let them breathe anymore. Do you know how they're calling you?"

Kate shook frightened her head.

"You're called the Step Mom or the Bitch. If it will come to a situation, the crew will not turn as an engine. On those moments you'll expect response from them, but there will be none. And that could be fatal for the ship. Actually the Darwin has already a bad name due to your behaviour. Today or the day after the Brass will know too and frigates are too expensive to spoil and you will be replaced. Remember Mike, Kate, he found that balance and he gave the crew breath. I'm trying to do that as well as Mike and I agree that there's still some way to go before reaching his level, but I can state that my crew stands behind me. Reinvent yourself Kate before it's too late", Nikki said convincingly.

Kate was wringing her hands and new tears were running down her cheeks.

"No, not my ship, they cannot take it away from me. It's all I have left. Is it really true that everything what I touch becomes a mess?", she asked, looking at Nikki.

Nikki and Dylan noticed that Kate started speaking with a pasty voice.

Nikki gave her friend a hug. "No, things won't go that far. Just remember how Mike did it and it will work. Just think at the situation how you reacted when we met each other at your bridge."

Kate didn't say anything anymore. You could see her thinking.

Finally she nodded and mumbled faintly, "Thhhank you."

They all three sat in silence thinking again about what had been said. Then Kate looked at her watch. "I'm so shorry, it's already that llllate. I have to go. Thank you for lissssstening."

Kate tried to get up, but fell back to the couch, "Oops!" She tried again and stood on her feet but she swayed slightly fore and aft and from left to right. When she put and unstable step forward, she lost her balance and tumbled aside. Dylan could just hold her before she would fall on the ground.

"Oh my goshhhh, I'm dizzzzzy." She stammered.

"No wonder Kate, you finished almost an entire bottle on your own", he said.

She tried to stand straight up, "But, I've… I've to… to go ho..ome", she slurred.

"Nope, you don't go anywhere", he said still holding her, "You stay here for tonight. That's better than worrying yourself in an empty house", Dylan said. He put her back on the couch, laid her legs on it and pulled off her pumps.

"Ssjure?", she tried to say.

"Yeah Kate, we're definitely sure about this!", Nikki said.

"Nik, you have a blanket? And you, Kate, have a comfortable night here. Here you're safe", he said.

"Hmmm", was the only thing Kate mumbled.

Within a second she was asleep and the couple looked at each other.

"Do we leave her here or shall I take her to your former room?", Dylan asked her.

"Nope, my parents have covered the bed with a thousand things. And we're occupying the guest room. We'd better leave her here", Nikki answered looking down at her slightly snoring friend.

"We have to look after her otherwise it doesn't come right", he said.

"Exactly. Hopefully she decides for a divorce. And I'm going to have a chat with Mike. Who knows?"

Then she turned around and looked at him. "Sorry darling, the evening has passed a bit different than expected".

He caressed her cheek, "No worries, this was much more important".

To be continued